After you quit gaming one of the struggles you can run into is how to start building momentum in your life. Removing games is like pressing the stop button., it feels like your entire world has frozen, and during this time it’s easy to feel paralyzed to take action.
So how do you start building momentum and start living your life again?
Since I’ve quit gaming one of the aspects of my life I’ve focused on the most has been improving my social circle. Specifically I’ve wanted to learn how to surround myself by people who inspire me and make me better.
So I’ve decided to launch a new video series where I’ll introduce you to some of my awesome friends and have them share insights into how they’ve taken their lives to the next level, and help you do the same.
In the first segment I introduce you to my buddy Josh Barad who’s the founder of In The Middle Seat. Josh and I met earlier this year at an event in California called Archangel Academy, and since then we’ve hung out in three countries! Bali, Thailand, and now here in Canada.
Josh has a cool story that began when he was working a typical corporate job when he realized it wasn’t really for him anymore, he wasn’t happy anymore, so he decided to quit and start playing poker professionally.
But then something else happened. He realized all he did was play poker and he felt isolated and not really fulfilled in his relationships. Although poker was better than the corporate job, it still wasn’t what he wanted for himself.
So he started to explore what the next stage in his life would look like, and during this introspection he committed to stop playing poker and instead focus on improving his social skills.
In our interview Josh shared how when he had a lot of free time it was easy to justify procrastination because he would have enough time to come back to it later, when really this was just an excuse to avoid doing what he knew he needed to do.
So he committed to start going out, to push his comfort zone and to start living life in the middle seat, he found this was where all his growth lies.
When it comes to leaning into your edges Josh believes it’s important to go slow and be diligent, while also being patient and playful. Growth is a process and you should have fun with it. You should make it a game.
Now even though you may want to grow, being able to actually start taking action to do so (which is how it happens) can be difficult when you don’t have momentum.
Here are a few insights Josh had into how you can start building momentum in your life:
First, Josh believes that momentum is something we fluctuate in and out of, it’s more of an ebb and flow than a linear equation.
Next, when we feel isolated or have a lack of momentum it’s easy for us to get too focused on ourselves, self-focused, which, when we feel anxious or different emotions it’s easy to make it mean something about ourselves, it’s easy to make it into a story of who we are, instead just the experience and things that are happening.
To counter this we want to become other-focused, to see how we can get involved in other people’s worlds, to get outside of ourselves to see a bigger perspective.
One way to do this is by asking people questions. Josh likes this because it takes the pressure off himself, and instead he can focus on his curiosity about someone else to inspire a conversation. Josh believes in having a list of back-pocket questions, questions that you like asking people to inspire these kind of conversations.
The example he used was asking me about my childhood, or asking someone what they are currently excited about, or asking what they are proud of, questions that elicit more of a positive response and allow you to go a bit deeper to really connect.
Lastly, to help you build more momentum Josh believes it’s important to be more playful and treat life like a game, don’t take it too seriously and find more ways to have fun.
In the moment if you don’t know what’s fun for you, Josh recommends that you take out a piece of paper and create a list of 25 different things you could do that would be fun, even if they seem a bit silly, keep it simple.
When you come from a fun and playful place this generates more energy and will help you build more momentum. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you will become social when __________, or you will have more fun when _________, or you will make more money when __________, and instead start finding ways to experience what you want to experience today.
So now that you have your list, what you want to do is choose one of them and challenge yourself to do it in the next seven days and then share what you’ve chosen in the comments below.
I hope that helps and if you’re serious about taking your life to the next level, I want you to take the Game Quitters Challenge. This is a 30 day challenge I’ve designed intentionally with the latest scientific research to help you become the type of person you want to be, by developing skills in Courage, Discipline, Social Intelligence, Contribution and Tenacity.
It’s definitely my best work yet and I know you’ll get a ton of value from it. Take the challenge here.