Growing up I’ve experienced a lot of depression, anxiety and feelings of not being good enough. I’ve experienced a lot of funks! So for me to truly live a remarkable life I’ve had to learn how to get out of a funk.
If you want to be prepared to get out of a funk you need to start learning how to master your emotions. So today I want to share with you a framework I learned last year at a Tony Robbins event that has really helped me master my emotions and understand more about what these funks are and how to get out of them.
Similar to my post on how to deal with stress, this all starts with your mindsets.
When it comes to your emotions it’s easy to feel like they are an experience that happens to you, instead of an experience you have control over.
Your emotions are a state that you’re in and because of this you can shift this state to be anything you want, as long as you know the secret behind how to shift these states.
So whether you’re feeling like you’re in a rut or you’re feeling happy, these are both a state you’re in and there are factors that contribute to each one.
In fact, there are three different factors that make up your state:
- Your Physiology
- Your Focus
- Your Language & Meaning
How you physically feel affects how you feel. #duh
Now even though this seems like common sense, it’s powerful because when you’re feeling depressed, you’re doing certain things with your body that contribute to that. You’re likely laying down, energy is low, you’re not breathing, etc and because of this, it contributes to your state.
Whereas if you’re feeling happy, there are certain things you’re doing with your body as well. You’re likely moving around, smiling, taking deeper breaths, etc.
So if you’re feeling in a funk and you want to get out of it, you can make a change to your physiology and that will contribute to shifting your state. It all starts with baby steps, move your fingers, go for a walk, do some jumping jacks. Anything that can help you change the energy in your body.
If there’s anything I’d want you to take away from this post or really anything I ever share, it’s the power of your focus, because it has a major impact on your life.
When you’re feeling in a funk you’re probably focusing on the things you don’t have instead of on where you want to go. You’re probably focused on how bad you feel instead of on the action you can take right now to feel how you want to feel.
Your Language & Meaning:
Language is proven to influence our behavior and the meaning you give to the experience will impact the sense of purpose you have around it.
When you’re in a funk, it’s easy to fall into asking yourself: “Why is this happening to me?” which shifts responsibility away from yourself and encourages you to blame something outside of yourself.
Whereas if you ask yourself “How can this be for my benefit?” you are taking responsibility and using the funk, regardless of how bad it feels in the moment, as an opportunity to learn and make you stronger.
There’s a big difference in how you are going to feel if you ask yourself one of these questions.
After my last breakup I was in a major funk and this lasted for over four months. The turning point for me happened when I started to see it as a turning point for me, and even though I felt horrible at the time, I was going to use it as an opportunity to learn how to be happy.
And I knew I would look back on this time in my life and be thankful for it because it taught me a lot of valuable skills. Because of this, I started to read about positive psychology, I learned meditation, etc. I focused on what was scientifically proven to make me happier, and voila, it worked!
Even though it was hard at the time, it gave me an opportunity to learn and now I can write this post and help you because I went through it myself.
Anytime you’re in a funk, think about these three areas and start making changes in them. Move your body, fix your posture, breathe. Next, start focusing on where you’re trying to go and what you can do, right now, to get your momentum started in that direction. Finally, be aware of the language you’re using and what this experience is ultimately going to mean to you.
Remember, this doesn’t have to be when you’re experiencing a big funk, but even when you have little ones. Anytime you’re feeling a bit off you can go to this exercise and start shifting your state.
I hope that helps and if you want to develop more of these kind of skills in your life, I want you to take the Game Quitters Challenge. This is a 30 day challenge I’ve designed intentionally with the latest scientific research to help you become the type of person you want to be, by developing skills in Courage, Discipline, Social Intelligence, Contribution and Tenacity.
It’s definitely my best work yet and I know you’ll get a ton of value from it. Take the challenge here.