“I feel like I have no personality.”
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“When I’m in a conversation, I just sit there and listen to others, laughing at their jokes.”
“I have no interests and hobbies, so I don’t have anything to talk about or anyone to talk to.”
“Everyone else seems to make friends easily, while I can’t even talk to anyone else without worrying about myself.”
Do these quotes sound familiar to you?
We all sometimes feel like we don’t want to talk about ourselves or that we don’t have anything interesting to add to a conversation. It’s just that some people feel it more often than others.
I used to have the same problem as an addicted gamer. I used to feel like I had no personality, so I’d better not get involved in that group conversation, meet new people, do new stuff, and learn new skills.
But with some hard work and determination, I managed to solve this problem, at least to an extent.
Why Do You Feel Like You Have No Personality?
At one point in my life, I decided to stop putting other people on a pedestal and stop caring about what they think about me.
When I used this mindset, the results instantly improved.
But I still felt as though something was missing. I didn’t have anything going for me in my life – no hobbies, friends, or adventures to talk about.
And that is the main problem why you might not feel like you have personality – you don’t have enough life experience.
If you sit in front of the computer all day as I did, you’ll start feeling sorry for yourself. You don’t have anything interesting going on in your life, so the only thing you can talk about or express your thoughts about will be your favorite video games.
You don’t try new things, see new places, talk to new people, do hobbies – all of these things will allow you to discover who you truly are.
And consequently, you’ll start feeling as though you have nothing meaningful to add to this world, so you’ll start avoiding social interactions, events, or adventures with your friends. You fear getting rejected, so you reject other people in the first place.
Many Gamers Have this Problem
At Game Quitters, we get many stories from gamers who have suffered from depression and felt they lost their personality or didn’t have it.
- Jack from Michigan spent his entire days playing video games. He neglected the things he used to do previously, such as playing the guitar or going out with friends, which made him depressed. He didn’t have the chance to expand his personality or express it because of video games.
- Anthony from Philadelphia played video games from the age of 7. Video games were his escape because he was afraid of expressing his true personality as a gay kid in the nineties. It all started catching up with him until he felt suicidal, so he started seeing a therapist who worked for him.
- Vadim from Russia played video games as a coping mechanism for his failing life. He had no friends, hobbies, or goals for the future and felt like he didn’t have a personality. He managed to turn things around by doing a 90-day detox and staying determined to try new things and not play video games as much.
Hopefully, some of these stories (and many others) show you that you’re not alone with your problem. Everyone gets the feeling of having no personality from time to time, not just gamers.
And it’s entirely possible to get out of it with a change of mindset and actionable steps that we’ll show later in this article. But for now, you should know one thing…
Everyone Has a Personality
Here’s something that might shock you – you already DO have a personality, you just haven’t discovered it yet, or you shy away from expressing it fully.
Everyone has a personality. Even you!
Nobody is just born without a personality or personality traits. So even if you’re depressed or you have low self-esteem, and you can’t express your feelings effectively, you have your likes and dislikes about the world.
You have your opinions, ways of doing things, things you like doing and things you don’t, your friends, the foods you like, the foods you dislike, the music you listen to – all of which are part of a personality.
Now, it’s just a matter of realizing those likes and dislikes and putting them out there more often without feeling shame or regret.
And there’s something else that might surprise you: you CAN develop your personality with new experiences. So if you play video games all day and don’t do anything else, you don’t have a chance of expanding your personality.
It’s possible to expand your personality, but you already have that base you can build on. The main problem is that you might not realize that you already have it, so your first step will be discovering what you’re all about.
What to do When You Feel Like You Have No Personality
Here’s what you can do if you feel you don’t have a personality. You can do this in the step-by-step order, which I would recommend, or you don’t need to follow the specific order and instead focus on one or two of the suggestions to get started.
Stop Playing Video Games Excessively
Playing video games so much is preventing you from developing or finding your personality.
So the first step is to stop playing video games excessively. Now, it might sound easier than it is, but quitting cold turkey for 30-90 days is an effective solution from our experience.
When you quit this habit, you’ll have a chance to try new things. Of course, you must know that this will be a long process, so be patient. But patience will be rewarding in the long term, and you’ll be able to develop your personality more easily.
Now, if you’re not playing video games a lot or at all, it might be beneficial for you to play in moderation. Ideally, you want to keep gaming less than two hours a day and not every day. The important thing is for gaming not to be the sole focus of your life.
But if you’re addicted to video games, we can help you out. You can either talk to a therapist, which is an effective solution. Or, you can try our program called Respawn, where you’ll learn every step you need to take to stop your gaming addiction.
Get to Know Yourself
The second step might sound a bit cliche, like something you would find on WikiHow. However simple or cliche this tip is, it is an essential part of finding your personality.
Think about it for a moment: what does it mean to have a personality? Is it having interesting things to talk about? Is it having interesting hobbies or traits? Or is it the ability to share your thoughts about current events, things in life, or various things in life?
It’s probably a combination of all of those, but the most important part is the latter.
And the good thing about that is that you already have it. You simply need to discover it.
Or you might already know it, but you’re too afraid or shy to express when push comes to shove.
If you don’t know what your thoughts or feelings are, then you need to discover them. And to do that, you’ll need to get to know yourself better. You do that by doing things. When you’re put into a situation where you have to engage in other activities, interact with people, or be challenged, you’ll learn what you are all about.
For example, you can do this in your everyday life. Think about what you like eating, what you don’t like, what you feel about current events, or even consider the simple things in life that you previously took for granted.
If you listen to some of the best comedians you might like, they often talk about the most mundane things in life, don’t they?
So it’s all about finding what you value in your existing life already. Journaling is one way you can reflect and discover more about who you are. You can get started with journaling today on our community forum.
Try New Things
Having confidence and developing character comes from doing things. Only action can get you out of your mindset.
The first step is to find a new hobby to replace your gaming. You can find a new hobby using our hobby tool.
Now, if you don’t like a hobby, you can try another one. The key is to find something to fill up your time.
The problem is that if all you do is play video games, you don’t have a chance to immerse yourself fully in life. You don’t get to experience new things, and as a consequence, you don’t have anything valuable to add.
But you can apply this tip to almost every part of your life. You have to challenge your old beliefs (or a lack of them) by doing things you never even thought about. These things can be as simple as:
- Trying new foods or diets
- Buying different clothes than you usually do
- Listening to new music
- Traveling to nearby locations you’ve never been to
- Solo travel
- Reading books
- Learning a new skill
If you think about it, the options here are endless! And every time you try something new, you’ll expand your personality and mold it according to your beliefs and wants.
Stop Giving a S#*t About Others
One common problem people who feel like they have no personality face is that they give way too much emphasis on what others are thinking about them.
If that’s you, then you need to stop doing that.
You might not have enough confidence to get out there and express yourself. But with time and determination, things will get easier, I promise.
The key is to stop paying attention to what other people might be feeling or thinking. It can also be helpful to work with a therapist on reframing your beliefs and anxieties so you can live your life to the fullest.
If you’re going to spend your entire life worrying about what others think, then you won’t be able to develop your true personality. Instead, you’ll always cater to others, say what you think others like to hear, and do things you think others will like.
And that’s no way to live a life.
You are you, and other people are themselves, so why would you craft your entire character so that other people like it? The most important thing is what you like and love doing, so do that instead.
It’s also worth noting that you are not the only person who worries about what other people think about them. Many millions of people struggle with these same thoughts. However, it is possible to overcome and to live your life more freely.
These are the main things you can do to discover your personality, but there are also some other things you can try, such as:
- Start meditation. It’s the most effective way to tap into yourself and be aware of what you’re feeling. With mindfulness, you’ll be able to see what you truly think, and you’ll also get rid of the brain fog that might develop because of playing video games so much.
- Develop your personality. If you apply the tips that we’ve provided in this article, you’ll be able to get a good basis to get to know your character, but you’ll want to expand it further for the best results. And you can do that by getting out of your comfort zone and doing things that seem uncomfortable.
- It’s never too late! If you feel like there’s no help, you’re wrong. You can still develop your personality even if you’re 30 or older.
We Can Help!
- We can help you in your quest to develop your personality. For example, if you play video games too much, you can try our program called Respawn, where you’ll find proven techniques that have helped thousands of gamers all around the world kick their gaming addiction and live a life worth living. For families, we have our Reclaim program for parents.
It’s also possible to work with our team privately in our coaching programs. So apply today to get started on a 90-day plan to turn your life around.