Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (better known as ADHD) is a mental health condition that’s most commonly found in children and increasingly diagnosed in adults.
As experts in gaming addiction, we’re often asked if there’s link between ADHD and video games. Over the years, we’ve seen many instances of kids with ADHD being drawn to gaming. In this article we look at whether playing video games causes ADHD, or if they can help people with the condition to manage their symptoms.
Why can ADHD kids focus on video games?
Many parents don’t understand why kids with ADHD concentrate on video games but not homework. If we look at the main the symptoms of ADHD – hyperactivity, impulsivity, and difficulty focusing – these are traits that can make kids more drawn to the highly stimulating and distracting nature of gaming. Here are some of the reasons why video games have such a strong pull:
Instant feedback
One of the main reasons why video games hold the attention of kids with ADHD is because they provide instant feedback. A study by the University of Buffalo11.https://www.buffalo.edu/news/releases/2015/07/036.html×
found neurotypical kids tend to perform well when asked to do something to the best of their ability, whereas kids with ADHD usually need some sort of immediate gratification or reward.
Gameplay provides instant rewards and this happens via the feedback loop:
Understanding the situation
Taking action
Applying the rules
Instant feedback, which leads to a better understanding of the situation
As each stage of the feedback loop happens very quickly, it can help gamers with ADHD to stay focused because they immediately learn from their actions.
Motivation
Kids with ADHD often struggle with internal motivation, and gaming provides not only a fun and exciting experience to capture their attention, but external motivation to complete the goals within a game – you need to beat this opponent, get the weapon, and finish the mission. There’s a goal and a structure to work toward.
Pleasure and reward
Studies show that people with ADHD also suffer from low dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. In day-to-day life, having dopamine deficiency may cause people to disengage from activities that require focus, and lose motivation to work toward a future goal.
However, as video games provide frequent stimulation and immediate rewards, they allow kids with ADHD to experience pleasure, despite low levels of dopamine. Discover more about how gaming affects the brain.
Social connection
It can be difficult for kids with ADHD to make and maintain friendships because of their symptoms. Interacting with others online while playing video games can be an easier way to build relationships. However, this can be a double-edged sword. Spending an excessive amount of time gaming can lead to social isolation, which reduces the chance of making real-world connections.
Focus
One of the main symptoms of ADHD is a short attention span. However, people with the condition are capable of hyperfocus when activities are particularly engaging – and this can happen with gaming.
As most video games are visually exciting and highly stimulating, kids are less likely to get distracted. There’s always something happening on the screen which requires them to respond immediately or else they’ll lose. But as the tasks are changing so quickly and gameplay is constantly shifting focus, only short bursts of attention are needed.
Do video games cause ADHD?
Typical symptoms of ADHD – such as impulsive behavior, inability to focus properly, and becoming easily bored – can be easily exploited by video games. However, there’s no proof that excessive gaming actually causes the condition.
Potential causes of ADHD
Although the exact cause of ADHD is unknown, genetics appear to play an important role according to the Centers for Disease Controls and Prevention. The following factors may also be involved, but the evidence isn’t strong enough to conclude they may be the primary causes of ADHD:
Brain injury
Exposure to toxins, e.g., high levels of lead during pregnancy or at a young age
Smoking and alcohol use during pregnancy
Premature delivery
Low birth weight
ADHD and video game addiction
Although there’s no evidence to suggest that playing video games causes ADHD, research has found a link between ADHD and gaming disorder. The study concluded that people with the condition have a greater chance of developing video game addiction, and those with the most extreme ADHD symptoms are even more likely to become addicted. The researchers suggested that gamers with ADHD may benefit from being informed about the potential risk of problematic play.
Too much screen time can worsen symptoms
As well as the risk of video game addiction, there are more potential harms of too much screen time. Kids start to neglect other things at an important stage of their development, such as school, sport, hobbies, family time and hanging out with friends in person. So, what is the best lifestyle for people with ADHD?
These screen time guidelines can help you work out a healthy balance for your family, and non-screen activities are also a good way to help you achieve it. Although limiting screen time and encouraging offline interests is important for all kids, it’s particularly important for those with ADHD. Sleep deprivation due to hours spent gaming can make their symptoms worse. They can find it even more difficult to concentrate and complete tasks, and become more easily distracted.
Do video games help with ADHD?
While there’s no evidence to suggest that gaming can cause ADHD, research has shown the benefits of playing video games and their potential as therapy for ADHD.
Video games can improve attention
In a study by The Lancet22.https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landig/article/PIIS2589-7500(20)30017-0/fulltext×
, a sample of 8 to 12-year-olds with ADHD used a video game-like interface for 25 minutes per day, five days a week over a four-week period. The results showed an improvement on the Test of Variables of Attention (TOVA), a neuropsychological assessment that measures a person’s attention and focus. This was one of several studies commissioned by the digital medicine company, Akili Interactive, that paved the way for EndeavorRx (AKL-T01) to be approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 2020 as a treatment tool for kids with ADHD.
How is EndeavorRx different to other video games?
EndeavorRx is a video game for 8 to 17-year-olds with attentive or combined-type ADHD, who have an issue with staying focused33.https://www.endeavorrx.com/×
. It’s designed to be used in conjunction with medication or behavioral therapy, rather than as a stand-alone treatment. The big difference between EndeavorRx and other video games is that it adapts to the player’s cognitive function, allowing them to progress to a level that challenges but doesn’t over challenge them. For example, if a player makes too many errors, the speed slows down but if they’re managing to avoid obstacles, the game speeds up. This means that every player has a positive experience of the game, regardless of their ability.
How gameplay improves cognitive function
Each player’s avatar is a space cadet who travels over different worlds and landscapes. They must take part in missions along the way, while saving aliens from extinction. This includes the following cognitive tasks:
Navigating around obstacles, which requires constant attention
Completing several tasks at once so they can’t just focus on one at a time
Remembering which type of alien to capture, which aids working memory
The EndeavorRx Insight app allows parents to follow their child’s progress. Feedback is positive: 73% of kids reported an improvement in their attention span and 68% of parents have seen improvements in ADHD-related issues after two months of treatment.
When you are considering whether or not to play video games as someone with ADHD, it’s worth consider the best games for ADHD.
What people with ADHD wish you knew
Despite video games sometimes getting a bad press, especially now there’s evidence that gamers with ADHD may be at greater risk of addiction, they can help young people with the disorder to develop important life skills, including:
Strategy and problem-solving
Visual-spatial awareness
Focus and concentration
Hand-eye coordination
Prioritizing and sequencing
Teamwork and collaboration
Planning, organization, and time management
We know from speaking to kids with ADHD that they wished their families would acknowledge the positive as well as the negative aspects of video games. Our ADHD guide for parents is packed with helpful information and insights.
Need help?
At Game Quitters, we have lived experience of ADHD and video games. We know what it feels like to be a mom with ADHD – or a dad or teen – who can’t stop gaming. Our founder, Cam Adair, has previously suffered from gaming addiction with ADHD. We understand the technology struggles that many people face, which helps us to work with gamers and families.
If you or someone you care about have ADHD and are gaming compulsively, we can help. Take the first step today and apply for a Gameplan strategy call. On this call, we’ll see if you’re a good fit for our coaching program. We have a limited places available and we’re unable to accept all applicants.
If you are the parent of teens – or work with young people – you may feel alienated from their world due to the words and phrases they use. Every generation has its unique expressions but today’s youth seem to have more teen slang than ever before, mainly due to the minefield of texting acronyms. They use these terms as shorthand, to express emotions and to create a sense of community with peers.
Many of the words and phrases are fun and harmless but others can be toxic and mask risky behavior. It’s helpful for adults to know what teens are saying – even if they don’t intend for you to understand – in order to break down communication barriers. When you know what their jargon means, you can engage with them more easily and look for warning signs that they are struggling and may need support.
Although there are some words and phrases used by youth across the world, slang is not universal. Expressions may vary from country to country and culture to culture. So, what are some teenage sayings in 2022? We have created a slang dictionary to help you decode the most widely-used terms.
A-Z of the most popular teen slang words and acronyms
Here are some of the most common teen slang words and acronyms explained. Many of them are used by gamers when playing video games or streaming.
AF — as f**k
AFK — away from keyboard, meaning the person is unavailable
And I oop — surprise, shock or embarrassment
And that’s on [something] — to show something is final and needs no further discussion
Anime – TV shows and movies inspired by Japanese animation
ASL — age/sex/location
Awks — short for awkward
Bae — before anyone else; a significant other or term of endearment (like babe)
Basic — used to describe someone or something that is mainstream or unoriginal
Bet — an affirmative reply: “Wanna hang out?” “Bet.”
Bih — abbreviation of b*tch
Body count — number of people someone has slept with
Boujee — aspiring to have higher social status
Breadcrumbing — sending occasional flirtatious messages to someone without putting in much effort
Bruh — another way of saying bro; used to address someone
Bussin’ — when something is really good
Cake — another word for bottom
Cappin’ — lying
CEO of [something] — someone is the best at something
Cheugy — someone who is uncool or trying too hard to be trendy
Clout — a person’s follower count or influencer status
Code 9 — warning that parents are around
Cursed — something that is creepy or unsettling
Cringe — someone or something that makes you feel awkward or embarrassed
Daddy — a dominant (usually older) man who conveys a sense of power
Ded — something really funny or outrageous
Dope — cool or awesome
Drip/ Dripping —as in dripping with money, style or confidence
DTF — down to f**k, meaning someone is willing to have a short-term sexual relationship
E-boy/ E-girl — young men and women who spend a lot of time online
Enby — short for non-binary
Extra — trying too hard, being over dramatic
Facts — agreed
Fam — close friends
FBOI — f**k boy, a male looking for sex
Finsta — fake Instagram account (sometimes hidden from parents)
FOMO — fear of missing out
Fire — amazing or exciting
Flex — show off
FWB — friends with benefits
Gas — marijuana; or to describe something that’s great
Ghosting — when someone ignores you for no apparent reason
Goals — something desirable that you want or aspire to
GOAT — greatest of all time
GTG — got to go
Gucci — fashionable or cool
Hentai — graphic anime pornography (Japanese cartoon characters having sex)
High key — intense and out in the open (the opposite of low key)
Hits different — when something is better than normal due to different circumstances
ILY — I love you
I’m dead — something that’s so funny you could die laughing
In my feels — strong emotional reaction to something
IRL — in real life
ISO — in search of
IYKYK — if you know you know (implying there’s an inside joke)
JK — just kidding
Juul — vape device that’s small and discreet
Karen — demanding or entitled woman
KMS — kill myself
KYS — kill yourself
Left on read — when someone has read but not replied to a message
Lit — exciting or excellent; can also mean being drunk
LMAO — laughing my ass off
LMP — like my picture, like my post or like my profile
LOL — laughing out loud
Low key — have a low profile; or keep something secret
Meal — someone who looks attractive and appealing
Mood — relatable feeling or situation
Mutuals — people who follow and engage with each other on social media
Gaming is often promoted as a fun way to connect and relax from life. But can playing video games actually relieve stress?
The answer is not so clear cut. Some studies have found video games reduce stress, while others may induce stress such as competitive games where you play to win, and if you lose you experience negative consequences.
In this article we look at how video games can provide stress relief, why they can cause stress, and suggest effective ways to reduce stress that don’t involve gaming.
Gaming out of control? Get immediate help for you or your loved one’s gaming problem. Book a free Gameplan call now to learn if our program is the right fit for you.
The impact of stress on our physical and mental well-being is significant. It has been shown to cause or exacerbate several illness and diseases including muscle tension, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and stroke.
Stress can also increase the risk of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, burnout and sleep issues. Are video games a way to reduce stress and the risk of physical and mental illness or do they make it worse?
After a long and stressful day at work or school, picking up the controller and playing a few rounds of your favorite video game, can be a great way to relax and unwind.
Video games offer escapism
Getting immersed in a video game can be a diversion from real-life issues and unwanted thoughts that are causing you stress. Gaming can be an escape into a different world, a psychological detachment that can reduce stress.
Video games build resilience
Video games with a strong social element, particularly multiplayer games that require cooperation, will enable you form to meaningful connections. Having a support network can feel empowering and help you build resilience to stress.
Video games are fun
Most video games are fun and engaging. Gaming produces a release of dopamine (the happy hormone) which will make you feel good and help you cope with the stresses of everyday life.
Many video games present a challenge – when levels are completed or awards are earned – and give you instant rewards for overcoming it. This provides a sense of achievement which can have stress relieving benefits.
Video games create a flow state
Gaming is an immersive activity that can get you into a flow state, similar to meditation. You are completely present in what you are doing and nothing else matters. This state of mind can be a great stress reliever.
Video games build skills
Video games can enhance problem-solving skills and logic. These tools can be used to resolve issues and overcome obstacles in your daily life which can help relieve stressful situations.
Video games are a creative outlet
Gaming can be an outlet for self-expression and creativity which can help relieve stress. Video games like Minecraft allow you to think outside the box and design whatever you want – the sky’s the limit.
If you, or someone you know, is looking for the best games to relieve stress, here are five recommendations:
Personal Zen – a relaxing game designed to break the cycle of stress and anxiety.
SuperBetter – take on challenges to build resilience and improve mental health.
Bejeweled – a casual puzzle game to reduce anxiety and boost your mood.
Stardew Valley – involves a daily routine that is calming and cathartic.
Flower – a journey through nature with restful music and calming visuals.
How can video games cause stress?
Although video games can be an effective form of stress relief, there are several ways that gameplay can increase stress levels:
Gaming communities can be toxic environments
While many gaming communities are friendly and supportive, there is a dark side to gaming. Players can be exposed to online gambling, toxicity, discrimination and harassment which can cause high levels of stress and anxiety. Find out more about toxicity in gaming and how to stand up to it.
Playing video games in moderation can be a good stress buster but there are risks from excessive play. An increasing number of people – around 3% of the world’s 3.2 billion gamers – are suffering from gaming disorder, a behavioral addiction that is recognized by the World Health Organization.
The lines are increasingly blurred between gaming and gambling, with video games containing many gambling-like features. Games labeled as ‘free-to-play’ are designed to get players to spend as much money as possible. This can lead to gambling problems, financial issues, family conflict and stress.
Highly competitive play can be stressful
Many video games are highly competitive, which (as mentioned above) can provide a sense of achievement when you are performing well. However, it can also be demotivating and cause stress when you are performing badly.
Escapism is not a long-term solution
Although gaming may take your mind off the stress in your life for a brief time, as soon as the game ends your problems are still there. Stress is something you need to learn to manage in healthy ways, instead of escaping from it with video games. In extreme cases, playing video games too much can literally kill you. See our tips below.
7ways to manage stress without gaming
Although video games can help relieve stress if played in moderation, they don’t provide solutions. There are other ways to manage stress, so you feel happier and more fulfilled:
Exercise – Physical activity is proven to be a stress reliever and it is highly accessible. Find an exercise you enjoy – go to the gym, join a group class, walk your pet or just get out in nature – and make it part of your regular routine.
Practice gratitude – Being grateful for what you have will help shift your perspective from negative to positive. Practicing gratitude is proven to have stress-busting benefits and it is easy to do. Recognize a couple of things you are grateful for, including those you might take for granted, particularly the aspects of your life you can control.
Help others – Volunteering can help you move away from seeing the world through your own lens. By supporting other people, you will realize that you’re not the only one dealing with challenges. It can help you feel better and reduce the stress you are experiencing.
Journaling – Writing down what is going on in your head can enable you to process your thoughts and experiences. It will also help you explore different viewpoints and solutions so you can focus on what you can control and let go of the things you can’t.
Call a friend – The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ is still very relevant today. Find someone (or several people) you can rely on to provide a listening ear and provide perspective when you are feeling stressed.
Find a creative hobby – Take part in a creative activity (like learning a language, playing an instrument or painting) that will give you a break from stress but won’t numb it altogether. Afterwards you will come back recharged and refreshed ready to deal with the challenges in your life head on.
Meditation – Taking time to meditate and focus on your breathing will help your body relax and improve your emotional well-being. It will help quieten the stream of thoughts that may be crowding your head and causing stress by channelling your attention onto something more calming.
Need help to control gaming?
Are you concerned that you may be addicted to video games? Is your excessive gameplay having negative repercussions, including stress? If so, take our short online video addiction test for gamers.
As the number of gamers worldwide continues to increase – including a high percentage of children and young people – the impact on their developing brain and cognitive abilities is a hotly debated topic – do video games make you smarter?
This article examines the specific ways video games can make you smarter and looks at the positive effects and potential risks of gaming. You can read on below or jump to a specific area of interest using the table of contents.
In short, the key will be in you or a loved one’s relationship to gaming and how their gameplay is affecting their quality of life. Balance, not just with gameplay but also with gaming-related platforms such as YouTube and Twitch is crucial for overall wellness and to gain the most benefit from play while reducing or eliminating the associated risks.
Gaming out of control? Get immediate help for you or your loved one’s gaming problem. Book a free Gameplan call now to learn if our program is the right fit for you.
When played in moderation, video games can increase intelligence, enhance attention, boost memory, improve learning and have a positive impact on problem-solving:
Video games increase intelligence
Researchers at the Karolinska Institutet and Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam studied the link between the screen habits of 5,000 US children and how their intelligence developed over a period of two years.44.KI: Video games can boost children's intelligence×
The results showed that those children who spent an above-average amount of time playing video games increased their intelligence by approximately 2.5 IQ points more than the average. Whereas, watching TV and videos, and engaging with social media had no significant effect on their cognitive abilities.
However, the study did not consider the impact of their digital habits on other areas of their life such as school performance, physical activity, sleep or emotional well-being.
Another study supports the above findings about video games and IQ. The University of York found a link between skill at two multiplayer video games – League of Legends and Dota 2 – and high intelligence levels.55.York: Multiplayer Video Games×
They studied students who were either expert gamers (2+ years’ experience playing action video games and in the top 7% of League of Legends players) or non-expert gamers (less than six months’ experience and in the lowest 11% of players). The students’ visual selective attention (the brain’s ability to focus on relevant information and disregard less relevant details) was assessed before and after gaming.
They found that both expert and non-expert gamers demonstrated improved attention skills after just one hour of playing video games. However, they emphasized that more in-depth research is needed to establish how long these effects might last.
Video games boost memory
First-person shooter games require players to rapidly react and respond to fast-moving situations. A study by the University of Leiden investigated whether playing these types of video games can boost memory. The research compared people who played for five hours per week with people who had never played video games.
They found that gamers outperformed non-gamers in the task they had devised and concluded that playing video games trains the brain to become more flexible in updating and monitoring new information, thus enhancing memory capacity.
Video games improve learning
Video games are increasingly being used to engage and motivate students, but do video games lead to learning gains? The American Psychological Association (APA) has looked at how video games effect learning and recognizes that more research is needed.77.APA: Gaming×
In 2015, they reported that over the last 20 years, there had been nine major reviews of research into the effectiveness of educational video games which had found the research to be “highly diverse, disorganized and unfocused, with a significant number of methodologically flawed studies.”
A subsequent study by Robles and Quintero in 2020 found that video games can be effective for teaching high school math skills. The students studied showed an improvement of around 14% in the topics covered.88.Intelligent System for Interactive Teaching through Videogames×
Video games increase problem-solving ability
Many video games require planning, strategic thinking and logic to succeed but does this result in gamers developing better problem-solving skills than non-gamers?
The benefit of problem solving in video games is that players can try different ways to solve a problem without any long-term consequences. They may lose that game but can re-think their tactics in the next game or level. This trial-and-error approach is a useful life lesson – decisions may not be immediately obvious but trying out various options can be beneficial.
While gaming is a fun and positive experience for most people, it can have negative consequences for those who game excessively. Here are some of the impacts you may experience if gaming starts to dominate your life:
Mental health conditions including anxiety, stress, depression and, in extreme cases, suicidal thoughts
Physical health issues such as obesity, heart problems, dehydration, disrupted sleep and exhaustion
As this article has shown, playing video games can make you smarter and have a positive impact on your life, when played in moderation. In order to keep your gameplay in the healthy zone, check out our daily screen time guidelines.
If you play games in moderation – in conjunction with other hobbies and activities – you are likely to enjoy many benefits and video games can make you smarter. However, if the balance tips and video games start to take over your life, you may begin to experience problems and, in extreme cases, develop gaming addiction.
If you are concerned about your gaming habits – or a loved one’s behavior – take our short video addiction quiz to find out if you (or they) meet the criteria for problematic play.
Need help to control gaming?
If you, or a friend or family member, are experiencing any negative effects of gaming, we have several resources that can help:
Although TikTok is a popular social media platform, it can be highly addictive and lead to individuals struggling with TikTok addiction.
Many users – particularly teenage girls – are spending too much time compulsively consuming content to the detriment of other interests and activities, their education, relationships, and mental health and well-being.
In this article, we take a closer look at TikTok to help you understand more about the app, the risks involved and why TikTok is so addictive.
Get immediate help for your loved one’s TikTok addiction. Book a free Gameplan call now to learn if our program is the right fit for you.
TikTok is an app for making and sharing video content. Since its launch in 2017, and subsequent merger with Musical.ly in 2018, it has become one of the world’s largest social media platforms.
There are currently one billion users worldwide, more than 100 million in the United States and 23 million in the UK.
TikTok is banned in five countries – China, India, Pakistan, Indonesia and Bangladesh – on various grounds, including the promotion of indecency and cyberbullying. Douyin, the Chinese version of TikTok, is the only permitted version in China. In response to the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, TikTok has banned new Russian posts and livestreams.
TikTok is most popular with teenage females aged 10 to 19 who account for 16.4% of active users in the US. Females aged 30 to 39 were the second largest group, representing 13.8% of users. Across all age groups, the female/male split is approximately 60%/40%.
Why is TikTok so popular?
The main reason why TikTok is so popular is apparent as soon as you open the app. Unlike other social platforms, the first thing you see isn’t a feed of your friends’ posts, but a button called ‘For You’. It offers the type of content you want to see using an algorithm based on videos you’ve watched or interacted with previously. And it never runs out of content.
The short videos available on TikTok can cause viewers to lose hours of their day to the platform. Data shared by TikTok in January 2022 revealed that the average user spends one hour and 25 minutes on the platform every day and opens the app to watch videos 17 times a day. Many users spend far longer on the platform.
What makes TikTok so addictive?
For most people, TikTok is a harmless distraction from everyday life but for others it can become as addictive as drugs or alcohol.
Dr Julia Albright, digital sociologist and lecturer at University of Southern California (USC), explains that TikTok has adopted the same principles that have made gambling addictive. In psychological terms it’s known as ‘random reinforcement’ (sometimes you win, sometimes you lose – just like a slot machine) which is how platforms like TikTok are designed.
Dr Albright says that in a sense she got addicted to TikTok the first time she used it. She started watching 15-second videos one afternoon and totally lost track of time:
“When you’re scrolling … sometimes you see a photo or something that’s delightful and it catches your attention. And you get that little dopamine hit in the brain … in the pleasure center of the brain. So, you want to keep scrolling.”
It’s not just watching video content that causes the brain to release feel-good neurochemicals such as dopamine and serotonin. When a TikTok user gets a like, comment, share, save, view or follow, it can release the same feelings of euphoria. Over time the brain becomes reliant on this type of stimulation to induce pleasure and it needs more and more TikTok videos and engagement to get the same rush of excitement. Undoing the damage done to the brain because of TikTok and other social media addiction can take months to correct and even lead to addiction.
Risks associated with TikTok
As well as addiction, there are a number of other risks linked to the overuse of TikTok:
Lower attention span
A major concern is what constant interaction with digital technology, such as TikTok, is doing to the brain, particularly young brains that are still developing. Dr Julia Albright says that “our attention spans are lowering”.There is so much information to consume and so little time to consume it in.
Education and career opportunities
Overuse of TikTok can take attention away from learning, reading and doing homework. The consequences are poorer performance and lower grades at school, and ultimately fewer career opportunities later in life.
Neglect of other interests and activities
Constant scrolling through video content is a distraction from other interests and activities that can help young people develop confidence and life skills, to create a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilled future.
Family conflict
Too much time spent on TikTok can cause family conflict. Parents may become worried that too much screen usage is negatively impacting their child’s education and social development. Constant arguments can lead to a breakdown in relationships.
Physical health
Children and teens who spend hours in front of a screen have lower levels of physical fitness, higher obesity rates and less healthy eating habits than children who spend less time scrolling through social media platforms.
Mental health and well-being
A study among teenage TikTok users found that those who are addicted to TikTok experience higher rates of anxiety, stress and depression, and weaker working memory than those who use the app less frequently. When an app is affecting your mental health, it’s dangerous.
How to stop TikTok addiction
If you’re concerned that your son or daughter is addicted to TikTok, it’s time to take action. Here are a number of steps you can take to shift the focus away from screen time to other activities:
Understand your child
Start by asking your child about TikTok and their underlying motivations for using the app. What drives and motivates them? Ask them open-ended questions but don’t argue with them; try to develop a connection, not create tension. To help understand them better learn common phrases and terms on TikTok.
Build a rapport
Showing interest in TikTok without judgment is a good start. Building trust and rapport is key. You can then gently nudge them towards other hobbies and activities and even suggest doing them together.
Create a plan
Set goals with your child – are they going to stop using TikTok altogether or just reduce the amount of time they spend on the app each day? To do the latter, you’ll need to set limits for screen time use. Agree on daily TikTok limits with your child and discuss the consequences of breaking the agreement.
Implement the plan
They may experience withdrawal symptoms in the first few days. It’s important to be aware of these symptoms and have strategies in place to address them. The next step is to find replacement activities.
Evaluate the plan
We recommend evaluating your plan once per month and making changes and adjustments, if necessary.
Get expert help
If you or a loved one are suffering from TikTok addiction, help is available. Our coaching program is designed to help individuals and families regain balance with technology.
Then you’re in the right place. In this article, we’ll show you the steps of deleting your R6S account and quitting the game for good.
Steps of Deleting Your Rainbow Six Account
Deleting your Rainbow Six Siege account is quite a simple process, but you will need to keep in mind that you’ll need to delete your Ubisoft, or Uplay account for this to work.
Even if you play the game from Steam, you’ll need to go through the process of deleting your Uplay account anyway.
The reason for this is that R6S requires Uplay to run, so even playing from Steam will require you to have an Uplay account.
So this is how to delete your Uplay account to stop playing Rainbow Six Siege.
Step 1: Log in to Your Ubisoft Account
The first step of the process is to go to Ubisoft’s website and log in to your account.
Now you’ll be able to open up the settings and start the closure of your account.
Step 2: Open Account Management
Now that you’re logged in to your account, it’s time to go to the Account Management portion of your account, where you’ll be able to delete your account.
To do that, simply click on the head and torso icon in the top right corner of the screen.
After that, a tab will show up with all the options. Near the bottom of the tab, you’ll see the option “Account Management”. With this option, you’ll be able to open up the settings of your account and change them.
Click on Account Management to proceed with the deletion of your account. A separate tab in your browser should now open up.
Step 3: Go to Account Information and Close the Account
Now that you’ve opened the account management screen, you’ll need to go to the “Account Information” tab.
This will again open up a separate page where you can manage all the information of your account. It is also where you can request the closure of your Uplay account, which will help you delete your Rainbow Six Siege account.
Once you click on Account Information, scroll all the way to the bottom, where you should see a button that says “Close Your Ubisoft Account”.
The last step is to request the closure of your account by clicking on “Close”. You’ll be prompted with a window where you can read all about what you’re going to lose if you delete your account.
To confirm the deletion, tick the box in the window and click on “Close my account”. After this, you’ll have 30 days to reactivate your account, or else you’re going to have the account fully deleted.
When you want to stop gaming it’s crucial that you don’t just delete your Rainbow Six Siege account, but any other games as well, such as your FIFA account, PUBG account, or even your Candy Crush account. If you play with gamers friends, you may need to stop using Discord as well.
Need Help with a Gaming Problem?
If you suffer from poor gaming habits, we offer guides and resources to help you get your life back on track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
If you’re looking to quit playing Genshin Impact, then the best way to start is to delete your Genshin Impact account.
When you want to play Genshin Impact on any platform, you’ll first need to create an account. And once you want to stop playing, you can also delete your account if you request its deletion.
Genshin Impact is a popular game available across different platforms, including Playstation, Xbox, Nintendo Switch, and PC.
The good news about deleting your Genshin Impact account is that you only need to delete your account once, even if you have it connected to different platforms at the same time.
The steps of deleting your Genshin Impact are quite simple. Just follow them and you’ll get it done in no time.
Step by Step Instructions to Delete Your Genshin Impact Account
Simply enter your credentials when you’re asked and you’ll be logged in to your account where you can start making changes.
Step 2: Go to Your Account Settings
The next step is to click on your account and go to account settings. You can do that by clicking the name of your account in the top right corner of your screen.
Hover with your mouse over your account’s name and then click on Account.
A separate page will now open where you might need to log in to your account again to access the settings of your account.
If you’re prompted to log in again, just enter your credentials again to proceed to the next step.
Step 3: Go to Account Security Settings and Delete
Next, you’ll see that the account management portal will open. On this site, you’ll be able to manage your account and change its settings.
You are interested in the deletion of the account, so the next step for you will be to click on the “Account Security Settings” tab on this screen.
Under this tab, you should be able to see the “Delete Account” button on the bottom right corner of your screen. Click that button to proceed.
Step 4: Verify Your Account and Complete Deletion
The last step of the deletion process will be to verify your account through the verification code you’ll receive on your email account connected to this Genshin Impact account.
When this screen opens for you, click on “Send code”. After that, you should receive the verification code through your email address connected to the account. Enter that verification code and click Next.
The last step will be to confirm the deletion of your account, which you can do by clicking on “Ok” in the last window.
This is the complete process of deleting your Genshin Impact account. After you have requested the deletion of your account, you’ll still be able to reactivate your account by logging into the account. After 30 days, your account will be fully deleted.
Need Help with a Gaming Problem?
If you suffer from poor gaming habits, we offer guides and resources to help you get your life back on track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Valorant is an addictive game produced by Riot Games. Released in 2020, Valorant quickly became a hit among the competitive players, as it offers numerous tactics to outplay the opponents and win the game.
It has millions of players around the world – the problem is the game is highly addictive, so many people are looking to quit it altogether, especially if you have overspent on in-game items. If you’re unsure how much you’ve spent on Valorant, review your purchase history.
Are you one of them?
If that’s the case, then one of the best places to start is by deleting your Valorant account. And to delete your Valorant account, you’ll need to delete your Riot Games account.
Do you want to know how? Just follow these steps and it should be easy.
Step by Step to Delete Your Valorant Account
Step 1: Go to the Valorant Support Page and Sign In
The first step is simple: go to the Valorant support page. You can reach this site by typing “Valorant Support” into your preferred search engine, or by simply clicking this link.
This should take you to the Valorant support page, which looks like this:
Step 2: Submit a Ticket to Support
To delete your Valorant account, you’ll need to submit a ticket to the customer support of Riot Games.
This process will take some time to complete, but you can start it by clicking on the “Submit a Ticket” button in the top left corner of your screen.
After you have clicked on that button, you’ll have to choose the request type. In this scenario, you’ll have to select “Account management, Data Requests, or Deletion”.
Step 3: Fill the Information and Submit the Request
The last step of the process will be for you to fill in all the details that you’ll be tasked with in the next step.
Here, you’ll have to fill in that you need to delete your account, the subject of your ticket, and you might also leave any notes or additional reasons for deleting your account.
Under subject, you’ll want to put “Account Deletion”, and in the description, tell them that you want to delete your Valorant or Riot Games account.
You can also submit additional information and files, such as images or other types of data that might be useful for your request. But since the information we’ve filled in here should be enough, you don’t have to do it.
What Happens Next?
The next step is for you to wait for the support to process your request. This might take a few hours up to a few days, depending on the availability of the support agents.
After your request has been processed, you’ll have a 30-day grace period where you can stop the deletion. If you do nothing during this period, your account will be fully deleted.
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Do you want to delete CS:GO permanently from your computer and stop playing it? Then you are probably wondering how you can delete your Counter-Strike account.
Counter-Strike is one of the most popular games in the world. The game has almost one million users each month, and the numbers are steady since they’re not going down any time soon.
It’s also a highly addictive game. Counter-Strike addiction is very common, so many people are wondering how to delete your CS:GO account – and if it is even possible.
Read all about it in this article or watch the video below:
Two Options to Delete Your Counter-Strike Account
The thing with Counter-Strike is that it’s tied to Steam, so deleting your Counter-Strike account might not be as straightforward as you might think.
Essentially, you’re going to have to pick from one of the two options:
Ask Steam to delete Counter-Strike from your Steam account
Delete your Steam account
The second option is far more radical since you’re going to lose all of your other games and stuff you have on your Steam account. But it’s also far more effective.
The first option is also decent, but one of the problems with it is that you can always easily add Counter-Strike back to your account at any time.
In December 2018, the game is fully free to access and play for anyone, so you can easily add it back to your account for free. This means that if you want to fully delete your Counter-Strike account, the most effective option is to delete your Steam account.
Let’s take a look at how to do both.
Option 1: Ask Steam to Delete Counter-Strike from Your Account
Log in to your account using your Steam credentials
From the list of your games, choose “Counter-Strike: Global Offensive” (or another version of Counter-Strike).
Scroll down and select “I want to permanently remove this game from my account”.
Last but not least, select “OK, remove the listed games from my account permanently”.
Note that if you choose this option, you should also delete the game from your computer for the changes to take full effect.
Option 2: Delete Your Steam Account
Deleting your Steam account will be a more effective solution, but also more radical. You’re going to lose all of your games and achievements if you select this option.
Deleting your Steam account is quite straightforward. You can do it from your account’s settings, but there are some steps along the way that might seem a bit complicated.
That’s why we’ve prepared a full guide on how to delete your Steam account along with a video showing you the steps you need to take.
Need Help with a Gaming Problem?
If you suffer from poor gaming habits, we offer guides and resources to help you get your life back on track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
FIFA is one of the most popular games in the world. Over 9 million players play FIFA each year, with FIFA Ultimate Team being the most popular game mode in the game.
If you’ve been following the gaming industry for some time, then you know that EA has come under criticism for their management of FIFA. They focus on the pay-to-win method by promoting buying FIFA Points to buy packs, which gives you better players and allows you to win games in Ultimate Team.
Have you gotten fed up with FIFA and you want to delete your account for good?
The method of deletion will depend on which platform you use:
PC players will have to delete their Origin account
Console players will have to delete their EA account.
Let’s take a look at how to do both of the two.
For PC/Mac Players: How to Delete Your FIFA Account (Origin)
If you’re a PC player and you want to delete your FIFA account, then you’ll need to delete your Origin account for good.
Origin is a gaming platform developed by EA. This platform offers some of the most popular EA games, such as Battlefield, Star Wars: Battlefront, and of course, FIFA.
To delete your FIFA account, you’ll need to delete your Origin account completely.
Here are the steps that will help you do that.
Open Origin on your computer
On the left-hand side of the screen, click on the Store tab
Scroll all the way to the bottom of the window
Click on the “Contact Us” button
The next step will take you to EA’s page. You’ll now have to select the platform that you’re playing on (PC or Mac).
Under “Select Topic”, you’ll need to choose “Manage My Account”.
Next, choose “Delete Account” from the list of options.
Last, you’ll need to enter all the information required by you to complete the deletion. After you have filled this form in, you’ll have to wait a few days to up to a few weeks for the deletion to be complete.
Since 2021, FIFA is also available through Steam. So if you own FIFA on Steam and you want to delete your FIFA account, your only option will be to delete your Steam account and do it that way.
If you’re a console player and you want to delete your FIFA account, you’ll need to delete the EA account connected to your console.
To do that, you’ll want to go directly to EA’s help site.
From there, you’ll need to follow the same steps as seen above to delete your account.
Note that you can also unlink your account from your console, but that won’t completely delete your FIFA account for good. The only way to completely make sure you’ve deleted your FIFA account is to delete your EA account permanently.
You can also deactivate your account, but if you’re looking to quit playing FIFA for good, then this method is also not great since you can always activate your account back at any point.
Need Help with a Gaming Problem?
If you suffer from poor gaming habits, we offer guides and resources to help you get your life back on track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Discord is a popular communication tool for everyone who’s looking to chat with their friends and gaming pals. It’s primarily geared towards gamers – both for playing games together and communicating and simply for hanging out.
If you’re looking for ways of how to quit playing video games forever, then one of the most effective steps you can take is to delete all of your games and their accounts – and of course, this includes apps like Discord.
The reason for that is that Discord can be an easy gateway for playing some more games.
You find your friends online, start chatting to them, and before you know it, you’re playing games again, and the vicious cycle of gaming addiction continues.
That’s why it’s effective to also delete your accounts for apps like Discord. Wondering how you can do it? Simply follow these simple steps to complete your account deletion!
The first step will be to log in to your Discord account. You can do that by going to Discord.com, or you can simply open the Discord app and log in from there.
For the purposes of this article, we’ve used the Discord browser version, but you can follow the same steps and get the same results if you use the app.
Note that if you decide to use the app for the deletion of your account, don’t forget to delete the app from your computer for the best effects possible.
Step 2: Go to User Settings > My Account
As you’ll see from the next two steps, deleting your Discord account is really simple.
All you need to do is go to your account’s settings. You can do that by first clicking on the gear icon in the bottom left corner that says “User Settings”.
After clicking on the gear icon, go to “My Account” tab of your profile.
There, scroll down to the bottom of the page where you should see two options: Disable Account and Delete Account. Obviously, if you want to delete your account, you’ll want to select “Delete Account”.
Step 3: Delete Your Account
The last step is simple: to complete the deletion of your account, simply enter the password of your account.
Lastly, click on “Delete Account” to complete the deletion. After that, you’ll be logged out of your account and you won’t be able to access it again.
As you can see, deleting your Discord account is really easy. But what if you happen to own a server?
If You Have a Server (or Several)…
Before you delete your account, you’ll need to also delete your servers or transfer them to another person.
If these servers are active and your friends are using them a lot, and you delete them, it will probably leave them wondering what the hell’s going on.
So it’s best to transfer the server or the group to another friend or person that is likely to going to continue using this server.
If you don’t want to continue the server going, then it’s best to delete the server completely before you proceed with the deletion of your account.
It’s common for people who spend too much time on Discord to also play video games, so when you delete your Discord account you will also want to delete accounts for the games you play, such as Genshin Impact, FIFA, Minecraft or Rocket League.
Need Help with a Gaming Problem?
If you suffer from poor gaming habits, we offer guides and resources to help you get your life back on track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Nobody likes spending Saturday nights alone. So even if you’re the biggest introvert in the world, socialization remains one of the primary human needs.
When I was addicted to video games, they became my go-to replacement for any social activity whatsoever.
And after a few years of neglecting my social life and prioritizing video games, I came to a horrific but grounding realization: I have no friends. Nobody to talk to, no one to do fun stuff with, and nobody to crack jokes together.
You might have read the classic advice you get online – stuff like “just get out there” or “find a social activity,” but you haven’t had any success.
It’s time to change this for good.
Having No Friends Isn’t Necessarily Bad.
As you reach adulthood, it’s normal that it gets increasingly harder to find new friends. Most of your old friends move away, get married, or have jobs that “force” them to live in another city.
Even young adults struggle with this sometimes.
But having no friends doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or you don’t know how to socialize.
Often, life’s circumstances lead to you having no friends. It’s not personal or something “wrong” with you. But just as life can take your friends away, it’s also possible for you to change it.
If you have no friends and want to change this, it’s time to start focusing on yourself first. Since you probably have enough time to focus on yourself, it might be wise to invest time into your physical and mental wellbeing.
The more comfortable you can become with yourself, the easier it will be to make friends in the future.
Is Video Game Addiction Preventing You From Having Friends?
The first step to finding new friends is to learn what is stopping you from having them.
If you are suffering from video game addiction, you may be isolating yourself from social opportunities to make good friends.
Many people develop their addiction because of past trauma, such as being bullied in school. Video games become their escape from reality where they can’t be bullied. It becomes a coping mechanism for them.
And this creates a never-ending loophole of wanting friends but not having them because of an addiction.
One of the most common symptoms of video game addiction is jeopardizing relationships and friendships to play video games. As a result, gaming becomes the dominant activity in your life, and you neglect other activities, including socializing to play.
Suppose you’re suffering from video game addiction and don’t have friends because of this. In that case, it’s best to talk to a therapist or consider our Respawn program, which will provide you with scientifically-based action steps to get gaming back under control.
But how do you know if video game addiction stops you from having friends? Be on the lookout for the following symptoms:
Playing video games is the dominant activity in your life, and you start to neglect other activities like school and work.
You start suffering in your personal and professional life.
You need to play more and more to satisfy your need for gaming.
You’ve tried to control your playing time but weren’t successful.
You have no friends, lost old friends, and burnt down relationships to accommodate your video game playing habit.
Other Possible Reasons for Not Having Friends
If you have no friends, then there might be other reasons for it as well. Here are some of the most common reasons for not having friends.
Shyness and Social Anxiety
Do you have social anxiety, and that’s what’s stopping you from having friends?
Social anxiety is the feeling of discomfort and extreme fear in social situations. For example, you don’t like being judged by other people, so you avoid possible interactions.
Social anxiety is a common comorbidity of gaming addiction. And these two go hand-in-hand. Those who are socially anxious are more likely to become addicted to video games and vice-versa.
Shyness and social anxiety are often lumped together as two disorders because they are closely connected.
Suppose social anxiety is the main reason you don’t have friends and why you might revert to playing video games so much. In that case, it might be time to start therapy, which can be quite effective through cognitive-behavioral therapy. Read this article on how to find a good therapist online.
Moving Around a Lot and Life Circumstances
If you move around a lot due to your family or career, it will also make it more challenging to have friends.
Or maybe it happens because your old friends have moved away because of jobs or their lives, and you’re left friendless.
If that’s the case for you, you shouldn’t worry that much. It happens to everyone who changes their surroundings.
It will take you some time to meet new people and make friends with a bit of effort.
You Don’t Know Where to Start.
This is a common reason why many people might not have friends. You might want to find new friends, but you don’t know where to start.
Maybe you have a lifestyle that doesn’t allow you to meet new people all the time. For example, perhaps you’re working from home, as many people do nowadays, and you don’t go to other activities that would allow you to meet new people.
This might leave you wondering where to start again. If you don’t have a lot of experience with socializing, then it might all be baffling for you.
The good news is that you can always change this. All you need is to take action. Do things you like doing and meet people doing those activities. But, of course, you’ll need to be the one to take the initiative to meet new people.
The first and the biggest reason why having friends is good is because it leads to a happier and more fulfilled life. This has heaps of research and studies behind it (1,2,). One study by Harvard Medical School even found that having a happy friend can increase your happiness by up to 15%!
Having many friends also helps you build your social skills, an invaluable life skill. It will lead to more satisfying relationships and new interactions, which will allow you to constantly meet new people and build that social muscle that you need to develop to be happier and more successful in life.
Another key benefit of having friends is their support in your life. You’ll be able to let your feelings be known to the friends that are close to you, which is one of the crucial steps of overcoming future problems in your life. This is an important aspect to consider if you’re fighting against video game addiction, for example.
To meet others working on getting their gaming under control, join the Game Quitters Forum.
So now that we’ve gone over why having friends is beneficial, let’s look at some ways to improve your social life.
Always Be on the Lookout
If you’re serious about meeting new people, then you should always be on the lookout for new friend opportunities, wherever you may be.
Whether it’s the library, cafe, church, gym, grocery store, or even your neighborhood, you should always be open to meeting new people. So talk to them, see where that leads you. Being a bit more friendly than usual can bring good results.
The more people you meet, the higher the likelihood you’ll meet someone who would be interested in becoming your friend.
Go to Activities
Now, this might sound like a cliche piece of advice – try a new group hobby or activity, but it works.
You can try our hobby tool to see if there’s something you like there. For example, you can select filters for the kind of activities you have, and then you’ll be able to see a list of some great hobbies you can try based on those filters.
Just do something you like, and eventually, you’ll have a lot to talk about with new friends you’ll make doing that activity.
Take Time to Get To Know Acquaintances
I’m sure you have many people on your contacts list or friends on Facebook that you’ve been friends with before, and you haven’t talked to them in a while.
Well, maybe it’s time to check up on those people to see what they’re up to. Who knows, perhaps some of them will make some time for you and become friends?
Stop Playing Video Games!
Last but not least, if you’re addicted to video games or suffer from other forms of tech addiction, the first step will be overcoming that addiction.
Gaming addiction might be the biggest reason why you don’t have friends. If you prioritize video games over anything, including your social life, then it’s time to change it.
Here at Game Quitters, we also have tons of other resources that you can use, including our Respawn program. This program is specifically aimed at people like you who suffer from video game addiction and don’t know how to find friends.
Loneliness is an ever-increasing problem, especially among young people.
In October 2020, amid the Covid-19 pandemic, 61% of people aged 18 to 25 reported high levels of loneliness 1010.Loneliness in America×, with up to 36% of the entire population feeling the same.
It’s so easy to feel lonely nowadays. We’ve been stuck inside and hooked to screens and digital entertainment. Two years of little to no in-person interactions has led to poorer relationships and worse mental health.
Maybe you’re just the same; you escape from feeling lonely by playing video games, but eventually, you find that’s not helping. On the contrary, it can make you feel even more lonely as a result.
Suddenly, you realize one thing: “I feel lonely, but I don’t know what to do about it.” If this is what you’re feeling at the moment, then we have some possible solutions for you to try in this article.
Feeling Lonely and Video Games – A Never-Ending Loophole?
Playing video games can become your coping mechanism if you’re feeling lonely.
It provides you with a safe space to be yourself without being scrutinized by people around you. Plus, you might have friends online that make you feel like you’re in good company.
These positive social experiences can lead you to play video games more and more, especially if you struggle with friendships in the physical world. However, spending more time online can lead you to neglect other parts of your life in the process. Eventually, it can even lead to video game addiction, which means gaming severely impacts various areas of your life.
One such example is Anthony from Philadelphia, a Game Quitters member who isolated himself more and more from friends and family as a kid with gaming, only to feel the consequences later in his life.
Bullied as a kid, he started to isolate himself, which led to severe consequences on his well-being.
“As I became a teenager, I started to isolate myself more and more from my peers and family. Video games became the only thing I enjoyed doing. Things like reading, family vacations, and spending time with friends were boring. I could only think about the next video game I wanted to play. I would stay up for hours gaming and then be extremely tired the next day.
Eventually, this all caught up to me. I was lonely and depressed. I was exhausted from having no goals or vision for my life. I felt I wasted my life in a virtual world while the real world was out there waiting for me. So when I started to experience suicidal feelings, I knew I needed help.”
Does this sound familiar to you? Is this something you can relate to if you’re feeling lonely? For example, are you turning to video games because of loneliness? Do you want to stop feeling this way? Then we have some great solutions you can try.
Reasons Why You Might Feel Lonely
First, you’ll need to analyze why you feel like this. There can be underlying reasons that make you feel lonely, so let’s take a look at each one. Knowing why you feel lonely will help you understand why you feel this way and look for solutions.
Past Trauma
By far, the most common reason why you’re feeling lonely is past trauma.
Childhood trauma, in particular, is the most common type of trauma that can cause you to feel lonely. This type of trauma is also called severe adverse childhood experience (ACE) and might come in different shapes and sizes.
For example, you might have experienced bullying from peers, family members, or siblings in your childhood.
Other types of past trauma we see commonly include abandonment, sexual and physical harassment, emotional harassment, witnessing abuse, being raised by a mentally ill parent, and other types of abuse. Trauma can also occur while playing video games through the toxicity, hate, and harassment you can experience from other players.
If you have this type of trauma, the best approach is to talk to a therapist.
Lack of Vulnerability
You might have difficulty accepting other people’s opinions about you because you have a hypothetical “thick shield” around you that protects you from any feedback from the environment.
This can also occur because of past trauma; as we discussed before, you become defensive and don’t do things that will help you feel less lonely as you fear the consequences.
It’s easier said than done, but being more open and vulnerable to connection while engaging in deeper conversations will be the key to overcoming your loneliness. We have found the work and books of Brené Brown(affiliate link) to be particularly helpful to improve in this area.
False Narrative About Yourself and Others
If you were bullied or experienced adverse events in your childhood, you might start to believe you’re not good enough or develop a fear of rejection, creating a false image of yourself and the world around you.
Perfectionism
If you expect every interaction, every relationship to be perfect in your life, then you’re going to end up disappointed, eventually.
You might be so afraid of having a negative interaction that you avoid them in the first place.
You don’t show your true character to other people, and that might well be the reason why you don’t have genuine connections in your life.
Gaming or Tech Addiction
Last but not least, let’s talk about the elephant in the room – tech and gaming addiction.
Your gaming addiction might prevent you from going out and speaking to other people, trying new hobbies, and experiencing the beauty of the natural world.
Now that you know potential reasons for feeling lonely, here are some things you can do to stop feeling so lonely.
Reach Out to People Around You
The first and most important thing you need to do is let your feelings be known to someone – whether it’s your friend, family member, or another person you trust.
If you don’t have anyone to talk to, I suggest you speak to a therapist who understands and guides you.
Just letting other people know about your feelings can help you get the weight off your shoulders.
Call That Old Friend
If you haven’t been socially active in a while and you would like to try it out again, then you might want to connect to your old friends.
Just a quick chat might help you feel better, and who knows, you might even arrange some things to do with that old friend of yours.
Even if you send a text message or a chat – it’s better to keep in touch rather than lose all of your contacts. It can also be helpful to find community groups in your local area, such as Meetups.
Get Active
It might seem like such a stereotypical piece of advice, but it truly works. You might have read elsewhere to “get moving or join a gym,” but getting some fresh air into your head can do you a world of good.
Whether it’s a short walk, a run, or a workout at your local gym, you’ll be able to get much-needed oxygen, and who knows, you might even meet someone new.
A good thing to try is group workouts or sports.
You will find many different activities to meet other people and potentially meet new friends.
There are tons of different ideas you can give a go; if you don’t know where to start, try our hobby tool. It will provide you with some excellent options for discovering new hobbies and activities.
Get Help
Last but not least, we must not neglect the importance of getting help when you need it.
You might feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea of asking someone for help, but sometimes, that’s the best and quickest way towards overcoming your loneliness.
At Game Quitters, we have developed a science-based program called Respawn that will help you, particularly if you’re addicted to video games and feel lonely. With it, you’ll be able to kill two birds with one stone.
For help with anxiety, depression, severe levels of loneliness, or other mental health challenges, we strongly suggest you consider therapy. We have a long list of verified therapists and experts worldwide to help you out. You can also read about the common fears people have for starting therapy.
“When I’m in a conversation, I just sit there and listen to others, laughing at their jokes.”
“I have no interests and hobbies, so I don’t have anything to talk about or anyone to talk to.”
“Everyone else seems to make friends easily, while I can’t even talk to anyone else without worrying about myself.”
Do these quotes sound familiar to you?
We all sometimes feel like we don’t want to talk about ourselves or that we don’t have anything interesting to add to a conversation. It’s just that some people feel it more often than others.
I used to have the same problem as an addicted gamer. I used to feel like I had no personality, so I’d better not get involved in that group conversation, meet new people, do new stuff, and learn new skills.
But with some hard work and determination, I managed to solve this problem, at least to an extent.
At one point in my life, I decided to stop putting other people on a pedestal and stop caring about what they think about me.
When I used this mindset, the results instantly improved.
But I still felt as though something was missing. I didn’t have anything going for me in my life – no hobbies, friends, or adventures to talk about.
And that is the main problem why you might not feel like you have personality – you don’t have enough life experience.
If you sit in front of the computer all day as I did, you’ll start feeling sorry for yourself. You don’t have anything interesting going on in your life, so the only thing you can talk about or express your thoughts about will be your favorite video games.
You don’t try new things, see new places, talk to new people, do hobbies – all of these things will allow you to discover who you truly are.
And consequently, you’ll start feeling as though you have nothing meaningful to add to this world, so you’ll start avoiding social interactions, events, or adventures with your friends. You fear getting rejected, so you reject other people in the first place.
It’s a dangerous slippery slope that can lead to low self-esteem, depression, social anxiety, and you’ll end up in a maze that’s harder and harder to get out of.
Many Gamers Have this Problem
At Game Quitters, we get many stories from gamers who have suffered from depression and felt they lost their personality or didn’t have it.
Jack from Michigan spent his entire days playing video games. He neglected the things he used to do previously, such as playing the guitar or going out with friends, which made him depressed. He didn’t have the chance to expand his personality or express it because of video games.
Anthony from Philadelphia played video games from the age of 7. Video games were his escape because he was afraid of expressing his true personality as a gay kid in the nineties. It all started catching up with him until he felt suicidal, so he started seeing a therapist who worked for him.
Vadim from Russia played video games as a coping mechanism for his failing life. He had no friends, hobbies, or goals for the future and felt like he didn’t have a personality. He managed to turn things around by doing a 90-day detox and staying determined to try new things and not play video games as much.
Hopefully, some of these stories (and many others) show you that you’re not alone with your problem. Everyone gets the feeling of having no personality from time to time, not just gamers.
And it’s entirely possible to get out of it with a change of mindset and actionable steps that we’ll show later in this article. But for now, you should know one thing…
Everyone Has a Personality
Here’s something that might shock you – you already DO have a personality, you just haven’t discovered it yet, or you shy away from expressing it fully.
Everyone has a personality. Even you!
Nobody is just born without a personality or personality traits. So even if you’re depressed or you have low self-esteem, and you can’t express your feelings effectively, you have your likes and dislikes about the world.
You have your opinions, ways of doing things, things you like doing and things you don’t, your friends, the foods you like, the foods you dislike, the music you listen to – all of which are part of a personality.
Now, it’s just a matter of realizing those likes and dislikes and putting them out there more often without feeling shame or regret.
And there’s something else that might surprise you: you CAN develop your personality with new experiences. So if you play video games all day and don’t do anything else, you don’t have a chance of expanding your personality.
It’s possible to expand your personality, but you already have that base you can build on. The main problem is that you might not realize that you already have it, so your first step will be discovering what you’re all about.
What to do When You Feel Like You Have No Personality
Here’s what you can do if you feel you don’t have a personality. You can do this in the step-by-step order, which I would recommend, or you don’t need to follow the specific order and instead focus on one or two of the suggestions to get started.
Stop Playing Video Games Excessively
Playing video games so much is preventing you from developing or finding your personality.
So the first step is to stop playing video games excessively. Now, it might sound easier than it is, but quitting cold turkey for 30-90 days is an effective solution from our experience.
When you quit this habit, you’ll have a chance to try new things. Of course, you must know that this will be a long process, so be patient. But patience will be rewarding in the long term, and you’ll be able to develop your personality more easily.
Now, if you’re not playing video games a lot or at all, it might be beneficial for you to play in moderation. Ideally, you want to keep gaming less than two hours a day and not every day. The important thing is for gaming not to be the sole focus of your life.
But if you’re addicted to video games, we can help you out. You can either talk to a therapist, which is an effective solution. Or, you can try our program called Respawn, where you’ll learn every step you need to take to stop your gaming addiction.
Get to Know Yourself
The second step might sound a bit cliche, like something you would find on WikiHow. However simple or cliche this tip is, it is an essential part of finding your personality.
Think about it for a moment: what does it mean to have a personality? Is it having interesting things to talk about? Is it having interesting hobbies or traits? Or is it the ability to share your thoughts about current events, things in life, or various things in life?
It’s probably a combination of all of those, but the most important part is the latter.
And the good thing about that is that you already have it. You simply need to discover it.
Or you might already know it, but you’re too afraid or shy to express when push comes to shove.
If you don’t know what your thoughts or feelings are, then you need to discover them. And to do that, you’ll need to get to know yourself better. You do that by doing things. When you’re put into a situation where you have to engage in other activities, interact with people, or be challenged, you’ll learn what you are all about.
For example, you can do this in your everyday life. Think about what you like eating, what you don’t like, what you feel about current events, or even consider the simple things in life that you previously took for granted.
If you listen to some of the best comedians you might like, they often talk about the most mundane things in life, don’t they?
So it’s all about finding what you value in your existing life already. Journaling is one way you can reflect and discover more about who you are. You can get started with journaling today on our community forum.
Try New Things
Having confidence and developing character comes from doing things. Only action can get you out of your mindset.
The first step is to find a new hobby to replace your gaming. You can find a new hobby using our hobby tool.
Now, if you don’t like a hobby, you can try another one. The key is to find something to fill up your time.
The problem is that if all you do is play video games, you don’t have a chance to immerse yourself fully in life. You don’t get to experience new things, and as a consequence, you don’t have anything valuable to add.
But you can apply this tip to almost every part of your life. You have to challenge your old beliefs (or a lack of them) by doing things you never even thought about. These things can be as simple as:
Trying new foods or diets
Buying different clothes than you usually do
Listening to new music
Traveling to nearby locations you’ve never been to
Solo travel
Reading books
Learning a new skill
If you think about it, the options here are endless! And every time you try something new, you’ll expand your personality and mold it according to your beliefs and wants.
Stop Giving a S#*t About Others
One common problem people who feel like they have no personality face is that they give way too much emphasis on what others are thinking about them.
If that’s you, then you need to stop doing that.
You might not have enough confidence to get out there and express yourself. But with time and determination, things will get easier, I promise.
The key is to stop paying attention to what other people might be feeling or thinking. It can also be helpful to work with a therapist on reframing your beliefs and anxieties so you can live your life to the fullest.
If you’re going to spend your entire life worrying about what others think, then you won’t be able to develop your true personality. Instead, you’ll always cater to others, say what you think others like to hear, and do things you think others will like.
And that’s no way to live a life.
You are you, and other people are themselves, so why would you craft your entire character so that other people like it? The most important thing is what you like and love doing, so do that instead.
It’s also worth noting that you are not the only person who worries about what other people think about them. Many millions of people struggle with these same thoughts. However, it is possible to overcome and to live your life more freely.
Additional Tips
These are the main things you can do to discover your personality, but there are also some other things you can try, such as:
Start meditation. It’s the most effective way to tap into yourself and be aware of what you’re feeling. With mindfulness, you’ll be able to see what you truly think, and you’ll also get rid of the brain fog that might develop because of playing video games so much.
Develop your personality. If you apply the tips that we’ve provided in this article, you’ll be able to get a good basis to get to know your character, but you’ll want to expand it further for the best results. And you can do that by getting out of your comfort zone and doing things that seem uncomfortable.
It’s never too late! If you feel like there’s no help, you’re wrong. You can still develop your personality even if you’re 30 or older.
We Can Help!
We can help you in your quest to develop your personality. For example, if you play video games too much, you can try our program called Respawn, where you’ll find proven techniques that have helped thousands of gamers all around the world kick their gaming addiction and live a life worth living. For families, we have our Reclaim program for parents.
It’s also possible to work with our team privately in our coaching programs. So apply today to get started on a 90-day plan to turn your life around.
Parasocial relationships are a form of social interaction where one party knows a lot about the other, but the other party doesn’t know anything about them. Often these relationships are one-sided.
Despite the rise of parasocial relationships with Twitch streamers, TikTok stars, and Instagram influencers, these relationships are not new – they’re just more intense and more common than ever.
Covid-19 and social isolation are two major factors that led to the further rise of parasocial relationships. Studies show that this is closely related to higher depression and anxiety among younger generations.
With this in mind, let’s examine parasocial relationships: what are they, are they healthy, and how to stop them if they become a problem.
Parasocial relationships occur when an individual interacts with a media figure as a friend or even a sexual partner. Media figures can include reality TV characters, video game personalities, and social media influencers.
The degree of these relationships vary. Some fans are simply interested in the actions of their “friend,” while others become obsessed with them to the point of imagining being in a relationship with them. Parasocial relationships happen without the influencer knowing that it even exists.
Once the person adoring their idols becomes obsessed, parasocial relationships can become toxic and detrimental to their mental health. While these relationships can decrease loneliness and fill the gap for social interaction, they are by no means as effective and satisfactory as real-life interactions. Furthermore, these relationships can escalate to stalking and harassment concerns.
History of Parasocial Relationships
Parasocial relationships have been around since the invention of books and later television.
The earliest forms of this type of interaction were between book readers and their authors. But it wasn’t until television that parasocial relationships were in the spotlight.
Early on in the era of television, there were no reality shows, social media influencers, or video games. Instead, the only way to build this kind of relationship was through watching TV or movies.
For instance, people would watch the same actors over and over again. As a result, they would build an attachment to these characters and feel they knew them personally.
Today, the relationships are slowly shifting from having relationships with TV stars to social media influencers, Twitch streamers, YouTubers, and online personalities.
The main difference between early parasocial relationships and today is that these relationships are becoming much more common and intense, thanks to the easy availability of online entertainment.
Streamers, YouTubers, and Parasocial Relationships
A few decades ago, parasocial relationships were the only way to have a relationship with a media figure. Today, social media has allowed fans to interact with their idols on a greater scale.
YouTubers, Instagram influencers, and Twitch streamers are some of the most common “targets” of parasocial relationships. For example, a Twitch streamer might interact with their audience more than a TV movie actor would 20 years ago because it’s easier to respond to their fans in the chat or through messages.
However, this can also be a double-edged sword. For Twitch streamers and YouTube stars, it’s not always easy to deal with their obsessive fans.
Watch: Asmongold on Parasocial Relationships:
Take Pokimane, the most popular female Twitch streamer in the world, as an example. In 2020, she revealed how she was stalked and harassed for years by obsessive fans to the point that she felt as though she was sexually harassed by them, even though they didn’t even meet in person.
Attractive streamers and YouTubers tend to get the most attention, and sometimes, they are overly sexual. A modern term for someone who stalks an online personality and makes sexual comments about them is “simp.” While Pokimane was a star streamer of the game Among Us, she received a lot of attention from simps around the world.
Some fans get so engrossed by their online idols they start caring about their lives more than about what is happening in their own life. They enjoy watching for entertainment, and at the same time, they’re prepared to defend their idols by any means, even by attacking fans of other streamers or influencers, creating a toxic online environment.
The biggest problem with this is the illusion of having a friend through a parasocial relationship that you can trust. However, most viewers use Twitch to cope with difficult periods in their lives, and by watching their favorite streamers, they have a way of forgetting about their real-life problems and “trusting” in their idol.
Again, these relationships serve the purpose of replacing the missing real-life relationships and achievements, either by having friends or by having a girlfriend or boyfriend. And since these online personalities have millions of followers, the scale of parasocial relationships today is bigger than it has ever been.
Parasocial Relationships with Celebrities
The effect of growing up in a world where celebrity culture is prominent is that older generations are much more likely to have parasocial relationships with celebrities. Some adults also develop parasocial relationships, and some of these continue from their teen days when they used to watch their favorite idol in their TV show or movie.
In the past, teenage girls developed parasocial relationships with musicians like Elvis and movie stars like James Dean. They showed their attraction by constantly following these stars when they appeared outside.
Today, fans can interact with their favorite stars through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, and other social media platforms, creating a feeling that they’re closer to their idol.
Even some of the most well-known celebrities in the world suffer from stalking and online bullyings, such as Lorde, Malik Zayn, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and many others.
Who is Most Likely to Develop a Parasocial Relationship?
The most common population groups that develop parasocial relationships are teenagers and young adolescents. These relationships also happen with people who feel lonely or lack self-esteem.
It is also possible for adults to develop parasocial relationships, although it is much less common than in younger populations.
The parasocial relationships between teens and social media influencers are growing faster. In 2015, nine percent of teens aged 13 to 17 had a “media influence” online. This number increased by 12 percent in 2017.
Young people who experience bullying are also more likely to develop parasocial relationships.
Online platforms like Twitch or Instagram offer a much friendlier environment and a lower risk of feeling rejected. Most of the interactions with their idols are passive, and if, by any chance, their hero responds, the response will be friendlier than the interactions they may experience in real life while being bullied.
Why Do People Develop Parasocial Relationships? The Psychology Behind Parasocial Relationships
Watch: The Parasocial Problem with Livestreaming:
The most common reason for developing a parasocial relationship is the need for connection and belonging.
The need for connection and belonging is one of the most crucial aspects of living. It comes right after your basic needs, such as food and water and security.
Many young adolescents have those basic needs covered, but their need for belonging is often not fulfilled. This applies even more to young people who tend to be alone and don’t have many friends in real life.
Many young people are not comfortable with establishing relationships in real life. They don’t have a social circle or a group of friends they can rely upon. Therefore, they turn to their online idols as a form of self-esteem boosting and social interaction.
Other people use parasocial relationships to broaden their social interactions and not to replace face-to-face interactions completely. For example, a study by Rubin et al. from 1986 reveals that the degree of loneliness does not increase the intensity of parasocial relationships.
This suggests that parasocial interactions are often a way of broadening social interactions and not replacing them entirely.
Addiction can also lead to parasocial relationships, as some unhealthy behaviors can lead to poor mental health. In this case, the parasocial relationship is simply a substitute for unhealthy behavior, such as video game addiction or social media addiction, for example.
In China, video game players developed a relationship with the main character in Travel Frog. A study from July 2021 reveals that the main reason for this relationship is that young Chinese players wanted to replicate the perfect parent-child relationship. This again shows that parasocial relationships primarily developed because of a need for socialization.
Another big factor for developing parasocial relationships is physical attraction to the characters in question.
Other possible reasons for parasocial relationships include:
Depression
Anxiety
Past trauma
Lack of security at home
Negative experiences with relationships with other people
What is a Parasocial Breakup?
A parasocial breakup is the discontinuation of a relationship with a media figure. For example, the fan will move on to another person to who they can get closer. In this way, the parasocial relationship helps the person let go of the other person and start afresh.
Constant parasocial breakups create a vicious, never-ending cycle of toxic parasocial relationships, harming the person engaging in them.
Some websites collect breakup stories from fans who have been in parasocial relationships for years. Several of these sites allow people to anonymously share their experiences and then find others with similar experiences.
Some people that experience these breakups even experience negative symptoms of a breakup, such as aggression, depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, and insomnia.
Parasocial relationships can be toxic and unhealthy, especially if the relationship is strong.
Many of the fans in these relationships want to have real interaction with their idols, but they will never have that. Even if they do get a response from their idol, the responses are usually shallow and impersonal.
If the parasocial relationship replaces all other forms of social interaction, then the person is isolating others from their social world and real-life interactions. They find refuge in the parasocial relationship, which is certainly not as deep and satisfactory as the two-way, real-life social relationships.
Creating a parasocial interaction is much easier and more comfortable than going out, meeting new people, and putting yourself at risk of being scrutinized by others. With a parasocial interaction, you don’t get that risk because it’s a one-way interaction.
While this might be an advantage to those who suffer from loneliness, these parasocial interactions are not adequate replacements for real-life interactions. Instead, they create a false sense of having friends, but those friendships are imaginary in reality. This can even deepen a sense of loneliness in the real world, which might lead to depression.
On the other hand, if the parasocial interaction augments the existing real-life friendships and relationships, and if the parasocial relationship is moderate and not extreme, then it can enhance one’s social life.
Parasocial relationships can also be harmful to streamers, celebrities, and influencers. Their admirers and fans create a great deal of pressure, which can be too much for some celebrities to cope with.
Here are some common signs that it is indeed the case.
Following your favorite celebrity or streamer all the time
Caring more about their life and their achievements than your achievements
Donating to their cause
Commenting on their social media accounts
Feeling offended, sad, or hurt if someone insults your favorite streamer or celebrity
Feeling as though this person is your only friend and someone who you would trust with your personal stuff
Always making sure you have time to watch their stream or show, no matter what other activities are happening in your life
Neglecting real-life relationships and tasks for following your idol
Following their lifestyle and making similar decisions as their decisions
Spending money on merch
Having no other meaningful connections in your life except for the parasocial relationship
Now, you might not have all of the above symptoms of having a parasocial relationship. But if you have at least a third of these symptoms, you do likely have a parasocial relationship.
If you have such a relationship with someone, it’s best to acknowledge how it impacts your life.
If this is your only way of connecting with other people and replacing other relationships in your life, then it might be time to reconsider it.
How to Stop a Parasocial Relationship?
Not all parasocial relationships are bad. A parasocial relationship can be a good addition to your social life. The key is to do it in moderation and have other meaningful interactions in your life with other people.
However, if you overindulge in this relationship and replace all other forms of social interaction, you need to do something about it.
The most important thing is to acknowledge it. You don’t have to feel bad about it, but you need to be aware that it’s happening. If you don’t have anyone to talk to about this and feel like it’s not good for you, you might want to speak to a therapist.
It might also be worth looking for ways of how to socialize with other activities. For example, you might benefit from trying a hobby that requires social interaction with other people, which will help you build real-life connections instead. Try our hobby tool to see if you can find something that helps you.
If you’re addicted to gaming, we’ve prepared a practical step-by-step program called Respawn to help you get your life back on track. You can also try our other resources, such as:
Video games and depression are two widely debated topics amongst academics, parents, and the media. The debate consists of a question: do video games cause depression? Or is gaming disorder a consequence of depression?
The Chicken and Egg Problem
When we’re trying to understand the relationship between disordered gaming and depression, one of the most important things we consider with problem gamers is the following:
Did the gaming disorder come first, or did you have depression before developing the gaming disorder?
Depression is a common comorbidity with problem gamers. When two disorders are comorbid, it means they are more than just a co-occurrence – instead, they interact and affect each other.
As you can see, anxiety, depression, and ADHD are the most common comorbidities of video game addiction.
Many gamers that we interact with at Game Quitters report that they turn to gaming because they’re depressed, but this can make their depression worse as well. In addition, excessive gaming creates an environment where individuals are often isolated in the physical world, such as in their room a lot; they may have withdrawn from friends and family, and often, exercise is sparse. This environment and lifestyle can lead to feelings of depression.
From our experience, each case of gaming disorder is different; some problem gamers might not suffer from depression at all, while others turn to video games to alleviate their symptoms of depression. On the other hand, many gamers develop depression because of their unhealthy gaming habits.
Do Video Games Cause Depression?
Currently, there are not many studies that confirm that video games cause depression directly. Most studies so far, however, show us that excessive gaming can lead to depression.
You need to know that not all video games and gaming will lead to depression. For example, suppose you play video games sporadically for an hour a day or so. Still, you have other activities in your life that fulfill you, and you have an overall stable life (a safe job, healthy relationships, and hobbies). In that case, video games will probably not cause depression.
The problem with gaming, however, is that it can be addictive.
If you suffer from gaming addiction, you get stuck in a vicious cycle of gaming too much and not having time for other activities and friends. As a result, you start to neglect school or work, and your relationships begin to suffer.
The result of this is the deterioration of your quality of life, which leads to depression. And once you’re stuck in this cycle, it’s can be hard to break out of it.
It’s important to know that if you are struggling with a gaming problem and experiencing depression, you should focus on resolving both aspects of your life. Implement strategies to reduce your excessive gaming while also addressing the underlying reasons for your depression.
Do Video Games Alleviate Depression?
Many gamers turn to playing video games because they feel stressed or depressed. They use games as a form of escapism to forget about their everyday problems and life struggles.
In moderation, this can be helpful, and video games can provide a means of relaxation or temporary escape. But it’s important to proceed with caution because although games can give temporary relief, they won’t solve the issues. And often, create new ones.
At first, you’ll feel immediate relief and pleasure. Then, you’ll release tons of dopamine, which will make you crave games more and more. The next time you face a difficult period in your life, you’ll turn to games again, and before you know it, you’ll be addicted to video games.
If you turn to video games instead of addressing your real-life problems, you become more and more isolated. As a result, you start to lose friends, your school or job performance starts to suffer, and inevitably, your depression starts to get worse, not better.
This is also what many recent studies confirm:
Adams et al. (2019) show us that addictive behaviors generally provide us with immediate relief but are harmful in the long term. When people turn to addictive behaviors to treat anxiety or depression, the treatment becomes maladaptive (harmful) instead.
Abbas 2020 examines gaming disorder and depression. The study found that gaming disorder and depression co-occurred in 526 participants of the study. It also found that most of these gamers used video games to alleviate depression, making depression even worse.
Ko et al. (2012) were one of the earliest studies to study the links between depression and gaming. It found that playing video games excessively was often linked with other mental health problems such as depression, and the evidence showed that gaming made the symptoms worse.
If you play games to escape from the world, then you need to be cautious. You can get addicted to video games very easily, and once that happens, you will find it hard to come out of this vicious cycle.
How Do You Define Depression?
Before you decide what to do next, you must understand whether you’re depressed or just sad.
It’s normal to feel down or sad from time to time. But depression is a more prolonged feeling of sadness or depressed feelings that causes you to lose interest in activities that you once loved. It can also cause you to turn to addictive behaviors such as gaming.
Other common symptoms of depression include:
Changes in appetite
Mood swings
Trouble sleeping
Loss of energy, fatigue
Mind fog
Feelings of worthlessness
Thoughts of death or suicide
If you experience suicidal thoughts, call the suicide hotline right away!
To be diagnosed with depression, these symptoms need to persist for at least two weeks. And this is the main difference between depression and sadness: depression is a long-term problem that spans several weeks, months, and even years, while sadness will be there for a few days to a few weeks.
Episodic – depressive episodes come and go, and the symptoms of this type of depression might be present for two weeks or longer at a time. These episodes may come at particular seasons or times of the year, or they might be tied to certain events in your life.
Repeating – repeating depression is the type of depression that occurs constantly. This is perhaps the most common type of depression, and this type of depression can last several months or even years before it is diagnosed.
Bipolar – bipolar depression is a part of bipolar disorder. This disorder is known for having episodes of extreme highs and episodes of extreme lows. When the episode of extreme lows kicks in, this is called bipolar depression.
Moderate – Severe – severe depression is linked to heavy symptoms of depression that might cause you to feel like you cannot live your life normally any longer. The most severe symptoms might include suicidal thoughts, extreme fatigue, disinterest in life, food, and other activities.
Do You Play Video Games and Are Depressed?
If you suffer from depression and use video games to treat the symptoms of depression, then the best way to address your issues is to talk to a therapist.
We have therapists that understand gaming addiction very well, and they know how to treat gaming disorder with comorbidities such as depression.
The key is to treat both comorbidities equally and not just treat depression or gaming disorder separately. Because doing that may only solve one problem while the other issues remain.
We also have a program called Respawn that will address your depression and gaming disorder directly. In our program, you’ll learn how to slowly shift from depression and gaming disorder to more healthy activities and establish a life worth living. You’ll rediscover your passion for new activities, become more productive, and get your life back on track.
We also have other resources that you can use, such as:
Anxiety is a common symptom gaming addicts experience. When mental health professionals are treating gaming disorders, they often treat underlying anxiety, which this study found 92% of all cases of gaming disorder, the patients also presented with anxiety.
This leads to a question: do video games cause anxiety?
While there has been no scientific evidence showing video games cause anxiety directly, the two are most certainly correlated.
This means video games might not cause anxiety directly. However, many people turn to video games as a refuge from their stress and anxiety, which may worsen their anxiety.
In this article, we’ll look at the relationship between video games and anxiety and how the two work with each other.
Which Came First?
Often in the debate about video games and anxiety, the question becomes: Which came first, the gaming disorder or the anxiety?
Do you play video games to escape from the stress of anxiety, or are you so anxious because you play video games so much?
It’s a chicken and egg question that we need to solve for each case individually. For some people, gaming is one of the main reasons they experience anxiety, but for most people, we work with, video games become an escape from reality.
According to Adams et al. (2019), playing video games and other addictive behaviors are often a refuge from distressing thoughts and anxiety and offer a means of escaping having to deal with problems in your life that cause you anxiety. As a result, your problems seem to melt away.
However, the problem with that is that the underlying issues remain. You didn’t eradicate your anxiety and other issues, but you’ve numbed them temporarily.
In this case, video games can become a maladaptive coping strategy for your anxiety that makes your anxiety even worse over time.
The Correlation of Video Games and Anxiety
The correlation between video games and anxiety is much deeper than you might think.
Many people who suffer from anxiety are far more susceptible to becoming addicted gamers than others who don’t experience anxiety.
People who are genetically predisposed to anxiety and nervous behaviors often find games as a coping mechanism. Many people who have anxiety also have a personality type that is more prone to anxiety. This personality type usually has high levels of neuroticism, which is one of the five major personality traits.
People with higher levels of neuroticism are more prone to developing a gaming disorder. People who are more nervous and suffer from stress tend to gravitate towards video games more often. However, this doesn’t mean that anxious people are also more likely to play video games.
Gaming is a form of escape that might help you forget your problems, and it may help you reduce your anxiety, at least according to some studies.
However, the relief you would find from video games for your anxiety will be short-lived. The underlying reason you’re anxious will still be there, whether it’s a life situation, stressful events, high neuroticism trait, or other causes. Plus, it makes you more likely to develop gaming disorder, as well.
Do Video Games Cause Anxiety, Then?
The one lesson we can take away from all of that is: video games might not cause anxiety directly, but they may worsen it significantly if video games are used as a treatment for anxiety if played excessively.
Some of the main reasons why people suffer from anxiety include:
Chronic stress
Trauma
Personality and personality trait
Other mental health issues
Drugs
Alcohol (withdrawal from it)
Illness
Most commonly, many people suffer from anxiety because of their personality traits. Unfortunately, this is genetically predisposed, so this is an unpleasant life situation that they have to deal with for many people who suffer from anxiety.
For others, anxiety is caused by the buildup of life problems. For example, it may be difficult events, stressful situations, negative experiences in life, trauma, and often a combination of all that might lead to anxiety in the long term.
One of the most unfortunate things about gaming and anxiety is that video games offer an easy and comfortable exit from the difficult situation caused by anxiety. But, unfortunately, this creates other problems, such as a worsened case of anxiety and other mental health issues and problems with physical health.
As such, video games do not cause anxiety directly. Most people who have anxiety and play video games were present much earlier than the gaming problem developed.
Can Video Games Help with Anxiety?
Video games can alleviate anxiety symptoms and might help you recover in the short term if you play video games. It’s an effective way of escaping your problems, but only in a short period.
And that is where the problems come in.
Video games can be highly addictive, and because they can effectively alleviate anxiety in the short term, they end up becoming the primary problem instead.
Because video games are so addictive and easily accessible, you might start to turn towards them too much, which can cause video gaming addiction.
And as you might already know, gaming disorder can cause further damage to your mental and physical health. Video game addiction has a bunch of negative effects on your mental and physical wellbeing, including:
Dehydration
Physical health atrophy
Exhaustion
Poor sleep
Obesity
Aggression
Lack of motivation
Social anxiety
Depression
Poor emotional regulation
Suicidal thoughts
To summarize, the current research body shows that video games, in moderation, can alleviate some of your anxiety symptoms. However, excessive gaming can cause all types of other mental health problems, and it may make your anxiety even worse, so it’s best to proceed with caution in using games as a treatment for your anxiety.
What To Do If I Have Anxiety?
The most effective way to reduce or try to combat your anxiety is to consider therapy. However, there are other ways that you can use, such as trying meditation or other hobbies that will keep you grounded and taking breaks while gaming.
Let’s break down each method to see which one is best for reducing your anxiety while also staying away from getting addicted to video games.
Therapy
As we’ve already mentioned, considering therapy will be your best course of action in this case. However, if you decide to speak to a therapist, you will have a plan made specifically for your case. That’s very important since not every case is the same, and your causes for anxiety might be different from someone else’s.
We have a comprehensive list of therapists that operate all around the world, and you’ll be able to find one near you if you have anxiety and want to quit your gaming habit as well.
Keep Your Gaming in Check
Another important thing you need to do if you have anxiety and like to play video games to treat it is to keep your gaming in check.
It would help if you kept yourself from getting addicted to video games, which will cause you to have other issues that come with gaming addiction.
An important thing here is to keep breaks while gaming and ensure that you don’t play too much. Try to keep your gaming to 2 hours a day or less, and ideally not every day.
Try Hobbies and Meditation
One of the most important ways to manage or reduce your anxiety is to keep yourself grounded.
This means that you should stay more connected with the world around you. The more present you are in the current moment, the better you’ll be able to manage your thoughts and feelings.
Meditation can be incredibly helpful, especially mindfulness meditation. However, you can also try other relaxing hobbies instead of gaming as your go-to method of relieving your anxiety.
We Can Help
At Game Quitters, we have a program specifically tailored to help you get your gaming under control, including managing issues such as anxiety. It’s called Respawn. Inside, you’ll learn how to cope with your anxiety while also making sure you can recover from your gaming addiction and start living your life on your terms.
We also have other programs and resources, such as:
Deleting your gaming account is a big step towards overcoming your gaming addiction. It takes a big decision to do that, but you also need to know how to delete it.
One of the best ways to quit gaming is to start by uninstalling your games and deleting your accounts. This will reduce your cravings and temptations to play.
If you play games on Battle.Net, then in this guide we will show you how to delete your BattleNet account forever.
How to Delete Your Battle.Net Account
To delete your Battle.net account, you’ll need to request the deletion of your data from your account. Follow these steps to do it.
Go to Blizzard.com and sign in to your Battle.net account.
Once signed in, click on Support in the top right corner, and then click on the Contact Support button again on the next page, located in the top right corner.
Click on the icon that says “Account, App & Shop”.
Click on “I would rather categorize the issue”.
Then under the category, select “Data Protection”.
Click on Remove my Data, and then select Remove my Battle.net Account and game data, and select Continue.
The next page will tell you what you’re going to lose if you decide to delete your account data. Once you’ve read the text, tick the box and click on Proceed.
Next, you should receive a verification code to your email account that you’ve used for creating your Battle.net account. It should look something like this:
Copy the verification code you’ve received in your email (you’ll have a different code than I had), and paste it inside the box in the next process.
Lastly, click on Submit to complete your ticket. Your process will now be processed by the Blizzard team, and it might take a few days for the request to be fully completed.
In my case, it took 5 days for the deletion to be completed. On average, this process will take up to 10 days. Note that in some cases, Blizzard says that the requests might take up to 30 days, depending on whether the customer support is busy or not.
What is Battle.net?
Battle.net is a popular gaming platform created by Blizzard Entertainment. It acts as a social networking service and as a gaming platform at the same time.
This means that users can use Battle.net to manage their games, purchase them, make in-game purchases (such as loot boxes), and connect with friends by chatting to them or playing games with them.
On paper, it’s a neat concept that aims to bring gamers together.
However, one of the major problems of Battle.net is the addictive nature of the games that it offers games such as World of Warcraft (arguably the most addictive game in the world), Overwatch, Diablo, Hearthstone, Warcraft and Starcraft… all of which are fairly addictive games as well.
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Nintendo is one of the most popular video game companies in the world. This Japanese giant is well known for its electronics, such as Nintendo Switch, which ranks in the top 10 most sold video game consoles of all time.
In addition, Nintendo stays in gamers’ hearts thanks to the many endearing, yet addictive titles it creates. The Super Mario franchise, The Legend of Zelda, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Splatoon – these are all fun games designed by Nintendo.
However, these games can also be highly addictive, so many people are looking for ways to stop playing Nintendo games (and Nintendo consoles).
If you’re looking to learn how to delete your Nintendo account, read this article.
How to Delete Your Nintendo Account
Deleting your Nintendo account should be a straightforward process. Just follow these steps to delete it.
Sign in to your Nintendo Account.
Click on your account’s icon in the top right corner, and then select Settings.
Now a Settings page should open in a separate tab. The next step from here is to click on Other Settings on the left-hand side of your screen under your icon.
On the next screen, you should see a button that says “Delete account” in the bottom portion of the content of the screen. Click on it to proceed with the deletion.
After clicking the Delete account button, you’ll be prompted with a page where you’ll be able to read what will happen if you delete your Nintendo account. Note that after confirming deletion, the account will enter a period of 30-day deactivation inside which you’ll be able to reverse the process of deletion. After that, your account will be deleted for good.
The last step is to click on Confirm and Proceed to complete the deletion of your Nintendo account. You’ll have to re-type your password to confirm the deletion.
After completing the deletion process, your account will enter a period of 30-day deactivation.
Note that you can still reactivate your account in the next 30 days – you can do that by simply trying to sign in to your account, and then insert the verification code you’ll receive via the email account you’ve provided during the creation of the account.
Further Steps
As you may see, the act of deletion of your Nintendo account is a pretty simple one. It will take some mental resilience to stop yourself from accessing and reactivating your Nintendo account once you decide to delete it, though.
If you’re tempted by the reactivation, note that this is completely normal but try to resist it for 30 days until the deletion is complete.
At Game Quitters, we’re dedicated to helping gamers just like you quit gaming and fulfill their goals in life.
If you’re struggling with a Nintendo addiction or simply playing games too much, then head over to our guides and resources:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Rocket League is a free-to-play game where the goal is for players to score goals in soccer using their cars.
It’s a simple concept, but one that has caught on massively in the past 6 years. It has almost 100 million users monthly, and the numbers are still going up.
In 2019, Psyonix, the company that created Rocket League, was purchased by Epic Games, which means that at the moment, the game is only available through Epic Games launcher for PC players.
However, we know many people still use Steam for Rocket League, and many people play Rocket League on PS4 and Xbox. That’s why we’ve prepared guides for all types of users in this article.
How to Delete Your Rocket League Account – Epic Games
If you use Rocket League through Epic Games, then you’ll need to delete your Epic Games account entirely if you want to proceed with the deletion.
Sadly, it’s not possible to just delete your Psyonix account as the company has merged with Epic Games, so the only way to delete the Rocket League account is to delete your Epic Games account as well.
Let’s take a look at how you can do that.
Sign in to your Epic Games account.
In the top right corner, hover over your account’s name and then click on Account from the drop-down menu.
Go to the General tab of your account page.
Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page until you reach the portion named “Delete Account”.
Click on Request Account Delete to request the deletion of your Epic Games account.
Insert the security code you’ve received via email into the next window and click on Confirm Delete Request.
This will delete your Epic Games account for good. Note that if you decide to take this step, you’ll lose all the games you have on your account, including all purchases, in-game purchases, and all achievements that are tied to your account.
Unfortunately, this is the only way to delete your Rocket League account at the moment if you use Epic Games.
Alternative Option
There is one alternative option to deleting your Epic Games account completely – you may want to ask Psyonix Support to delete your personal data from their database, which might be sufficient to help you stop playing Rocket League.
You can try sending the customer support a message at Psyonix through this page. Ask them if it is possible to delete your Rocket League data and account and if that will stop your access to the game for good.
If You Use Steam
If you use Steam for playing Rocket League, then it’s likely that you’ve purchased or acquired Rocket League before 2019.
For deleting your Rocket League account when using Steam, you’ll have to consider deleting your Steam account.
Of course, that might not be a viable option if you also own and play other games on those accounts, so you might want to look for other ways of controling your Rocket League playtime.
Need Help to Control Your Gaming?
If you play video games too much and want to get in control, read our guides and free resources:
When you play games too much and need to delete your Rocket League account you might also own other games and play them too much too. So it’s recommended that you also delete your accounts for games you play like Fortnite, PUBG, Minecraft, Counter-Strike and Discord.
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Looking to delete your Roblox account? Then you’ve come to the right place.
In this article, we’ll guide you through the process of deleting your Roblox account in just a few simple steps.
How to Delete Your Roblox Account
To delete your Roblox account, you’ll have to contact the customer support of Roblox, as there is no dedicated way of deleting your account through the account or user page like there is on most other sites.
Luckily, this process should be simple enough to handle for everyone, as you’ll only have to go through a few simple steps.
Here are the steps you need to take to delete your Roblox account:
After logging in to your account, scroll all the way to the bottom of the page until you see the link that says “Help”. Click on it.
You’ll now be redirected to the Help page of the Roblox site. You’ll now again need to scroll all the way to the bottom where you should be able to click on the button that says “Contact Us”.
A new page will open where you will need to open up the customer support form for contacting customer support. Click on the “Support form” link that is located in the text on that page to open up the form.
After clicking on that link, a customer support form should open in a separate tab. You’ll now need to enter the details into the form to contact support regarding the deletion of your account.
Enter your first name, email address, your username, and select the issue details. Under the device, select the device you use for playing Roblox. Note that there is no direct choice for deleting your account, so you’ll have to choose the category of “Billing & Payments”, and then under the subcategory, select “Cancel Membership”. Lastly, under the description, tell the customer support that you’d like to delete your account and thank them for their help.
Lastly, click on Submit to send the contact form.
After a few days, a member of customer support will contact you with further instructions and details. Note that you might have to verify your account before deleting it, so you might need to provide some additional details to complete the process.
About Roblox
Roblox is one of the most widely played games in the world. Part of the reason is that it’s so easily available on all platforms and it’s also free to use.
Roblox addiction is a serious problem especially among children and teenagers. If you or someone you know is struggling with a Roblox addiction, we’ve prepared a complete guide on how to overcome your Roblox addiction and begin living your life in a new way right now.
We also have additional articles on Roblox such as:
At Game Quitters we are dedicated to providing you with the best resources and guides possible to get gaming under control and live a great life. Our programs include:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Also known as WoW, World of Warcraft is one of the most addictive computer games in history. It’s a highly immersive computer game where you build a character, offering you a (seemingly) worthy escape from reality.
Millions of people around the world play WoW daily, and a small percentage of those people are addicted to World of Warcraft.
So if you’re looking to kick your WoW addiction, then a good way to start would be to delete your World of Warcraft account to prevent you from coming back.
How can you do that? Find out below in this article.
Another option is to cancel the subscription to World of Warcraft inside Battle.net if you don’t want to delete your Blizzard account completely.
Let’s take a look at both options.
Option 1: Delete Your Blizzard Account
Arguably the most effective way of deleting your World of Warcraft account is to completely delete your Blizzard account.
Note that if you decide to take this step, you will lose all data, games, achievements, and items that you own on your Blizzard account, which can be a bummer. But at least you’re taking a HUGE step towards overcoming your WoW addiction.
To delete your Blizzard account, follow these steps:
Sign in to your Blizzard account.
In the top right corner of the page, click on Support.
Next, click on Contact Support in the right top corner again.
Then, you’ll need to read the text on the following page where you’ll learn what you will lose if you decide to delete the account. Once ready, tick the box and click on Proceed.
The last step is to insert the verification code you’ve received via email into the box and complete the process for deletion.
The deletion will now take anywhere between 10 to 30 days, depending on how quickly the customer support handles your request.
Option 2: Cancel World of Warcraft Subscription
The other option is to cancel your World of Warcraft subscription inside Blizzard’s account. This is an effective step, but not as effective and complete as deleting your Blizzard account.
If you wish to cancel your WoW subscription, then follow these steps:
Log in to your Blizzard account.
Click on your account name in the top right corner, and then select Account Settings from the dropdown menu.
On the left-hand side of the screen, select the tab that says “Games & Subscriptions”.
Select the game you want to cancel the subscription for, and click on Manage.
Click on Cancel Subscription to complete the process.
After this, your subscription to WoW should be canceled and you won’t be able to access your WoW account any longer.
Need Help?
If you suffer from a gaming addiction, we’ve prepared guides and free resources on Game Quitters to help you get your life back on the right track:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Dota 2 is one of the most popular games in the world, and arguably among the top 3 most popular Massive Online Battle Arena (MOBA) games of all time. 400,000 to 500,000 people play this game monthly, putting it high on the list of the most played games.
It’s also a very addictive game. Once you get sucked into the progression in this game and improving your skills, it’s hard to get out of it.
That’s why deleting your Dota 2 account is one of the best strategies to quit playing Dota 2 cold turkey.
To delete your Dota 2 account, you’ll have two different strategies – we’ll go over each one in this article.
How to Delete Your Dota 2 Account – Best Option
The best option for deleting your Dota 2 account is to contact Steam support and ask them if they can delete your game data and erase your Dota 2 profile.
When you do this, you’ll be able to get rid of all of your game data and you’ll have your profile deleted. This will guarantee you that you won’t be able to use your profile anymore, even though you can still have Dota 2 installed on your computer.
To do this, you’ll need to log in to your Steam account and contact customer support using a contact form that you’ll find on Steam.
Just follow these steps to complete the process:
Log in to your Steam account using your credentials.
Next, click on the Support tab once you’re logged in to your account.
Then, you’ll find a list of games below under the “Recent Products” category. Pick Dota 2 – if it’s not there, scroll all the way to the bottom and select “Games, Software, etc.”, and type in Dota 2. Then, click on Dota 2.
Next, click on “I’m having trouble with items”.
Then scroll all the way to the bottom and find the “Contact Steam Support” button. Click on this button to open up a dialog box.
Inside this box, type in “I’d like to delete my Dota 2 account, game data, history, and access to Dota 2.” Also, include your reason for the request of deletion, and hit send.
Hit Send. You will have to wait around 72 hours for customer support to respond. Note that you might have to provide some additional details if they ask you to do so.
Alternative Option – Delete Steam Account
The second option is a bit more radical – but perhaps even more effective than the first one, especially if you’re addicted to Dota 2 and other games you have on Steam.
Of course, if you decide on this option, you should know that you will lose all of your games and everything you own on your Steam account, so only take this step if you’re prepared to lose everything you own on Steam.
It’s common for people who play DOTA 2 to also play other games, such as PUBG, FIFA and even Candy Crush. If you want to stop gaming, then make sure you delete accounts for all the games you play and Discord if you are triggered by gamer friends.
Need Help?
At Game Quitters, we’re dedicated to helping gamers from everywhere to quit their toxic gaming habits and build better habits, which can help you get your life back on track.
If you suffer from a gaming addiction (or other digital addictions), we’ve also prepared many other guides and free resources on Game Quitters. These include:
If you appreciate our content and what we do, feel free to share it with other people who might find this article (or other articles) helpful. Our mission is to help as many people overcome their gaming addictions and get their lives back to normal.
Have you ever wondered what draws you into playing video games every time, even if you don’t want to? Before you start blaming yourself for this happening, you need to know how dopamine impacts gaming and, thus, your behavior.
How Dopamine Impacts Gaming
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in your brain which is responsible for the feeling of pleasure. The way video games are designed, you experience feelings of excitement and stimulation. They accomplish this by giving constant rewards for your effort, which leads your brain to produce dopamine.
Because video games produce a dopamine release in your brain, they have the potential to have a similar effect on your brain as drugs and other substances.
After playing more and more games, your brain can seek to produce dopamine – but the only thing that seems to do it is playing more and more of your favorite game.
So how does dopamine impact gaming, and why is this crucial for your understanding of video game addiction? Continue reading.
What is Dopamine?
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in our brain that is responsible for sending messages between nerve cells.
It used to be referred to as the “pleasure chemical.”
However, in more recent years and with more research, we’ve learned that dopamine acts more as a motivating agent for completing certain pleasurable activities – for example, eating, having sex, playing video games.
Dopamine is closely connected to the reward center in our brains. So whenever we see a reward worth chasing, our body starts producing sufficient amounts of dopamine to motivate us to complete the task, no matter how strenuous or difficult the task might be.
The dopamine theory of addiction finds most addictions are caused by the brain’s inability to produce dopamine naturally without the drug or substance that someone is addicted to.
Instead of feeling pleasure doing everyday activities, the addicted person will feel bored. Only the substance, video game, or the drug they take will provide enough dopamine to feel pleasure and excitement. This is especially pertinent when you are addicted to sources of cheap dopamine, like social media, gaming and porn.
Thus, the more of the substance or drug an individual takes, the more of it will take to feel the same levels of pleasure as before. Eventually, repetition leads to addiction. The same can happen with video games and social media apps like TikTok.
What Triggers Dopamine?
Almost every pleasurable activity we do will trigger dopamine.
Whenever your brain is expecting a reward from a certain activity, it will start producing dopamine, which will motivate you to complete the desired activity.
For instance, when you feel hungry, you will start to crave food. When you order food and you see it coming towards your table, the dopamine levels in your brain will rise. After taking the first bite, you’ve gotten your reward, so the dopamine levels start to decrease slowly.
Dopamine will also be released when we do addictive things or take addictive substances.
And because these activities make us feel pleasure, we start to associate them with positive feelings; we see them as rewards.
What are the Side Effects of Too Much Dopamine?
Both too much or too little dopamine can have serious consequences on the quality of our lives.
Too much dopamine in certain parts of our brain can lead to aggression, competitiveness, high libido, stress, and poor impulse control.
On a more severe level, excessive amounts of dopamine can lead to long-term conditions, such as:
On the other hand, low levels of dopamine in your brain can also have negative side effects. Addictions are particularly responsible for leading to low levels of dopamine. That’s because our brains cannot produce sufficient amounts of dopamine without the needed substance or drug.
For example, Vadim from Russia, one of our members, says he was extremely anxious and exhausted when he played games excessively, yet he kept on playing them, which caused his health to decline.
Dopamine detox can work well to fix the addiction-induced dopamine deficiency, as we have seen in many cases with our members and clients. We’ll talk more about dopamine detox later on in the article.
Dopamine and Gaming Addiction
Now that you know what dopamine is and how it functions when exposed to over-stimulus, let’s focus on how dopamine impacts gaming and gaming addiction.
A study from 1998 has shown that when you play video games, your brain starts producing dopamine. As you get excited about the potential rewards of killing the next boss or the thrill you get when you kill an enemy, your brain starts working overtime.
Rewards and reinforcement for playing (and punishment for not playing)
Each time you want to kill an enemy, your brain releases dopamine. Each time you want to open the next loot box, score a goal, win a game, kill that boss in the game – you release dopamine.
And getting that dopamine spike has never been easier than now. You can pick up your phone or open up your computer or console, open your favorite game, and boom, you’re feeling great. All your attention is now on the game.
What happens when you stop playing? You want to go right back to your favorite game! You need another surge of dopamine, like a drug addict looking for the next hit. Before you know it, you’re addicted to the game, and you can’t live without it.
Gaming companies are implementing more and more of these strategies as we speak. They want you to play as much as possible so they can keep making a profit from your money and time.
The Impact of Dopamine on Gaming
When you play video games, you get a rapid rush of dopamine.
This makes video games several levels more exciting than other activities, like studying or exercising. With video games, the gratification is instant – you don’t need to wait weeks or months to feel the satisfaction. This is one of the main reasons why you might prefer gaming to other activities.
These are worrisome findings; even though you might not believe it, gaming changes the structure of your brain. This is the best example of how dopamine impacts gaming.
When you play games, you’re exposed to an overwhelming number of stimuli, which all impact your brain. This is especially true if you play games daily for an extended period. The more you play, the more you want to play.
Yet even though video games can impact your brain, they still don’t get the same treatment. Instead, gaming is often dismissed as a harmless activity. Of course, not all gaming is bad, and there are pros and cons of gaming, but moderation is key.
The problem is that things can quickly spiral out of control.
Why Gaming Addiction Hurts Young People Most
Young people under the age of 25 seem to be the most affected group regarding gaming addiction.
After all, the average age of a gaming addict is just 24 years old, while around 8.5% of all children worldwide might be addicted to gaming. And the problem here is that these percentages are growing year after year.
One reason is their prefrontal cortex might not yet be fully developed. This brain region is responsible for decision-making and judgment, and it only develops fully after the age of 25.
The draw of video games and the dopamine they release might be too strong for younger people to resist. This can lead gamers to feel lazy and unmotivated.
Screens are everywhere. You can play games everywhere you might be – even in school. Video games are easily available, regardless of where you live or how powerful your device is.
Additionally, studies (1, 2) have also shown that playing violent video games deactivates the prefrontal cortex region of the brain to a large extent. This impairs the decisions made by the individual and significantly impacts their actions, which might exacerbate the gaming addiction.
Games that Increase Dopamine
There are hundreds of thousands of different games currently out now. Some are offline; others are online; they span through different genres and have different objectives. Yet the goal of all of them is the same – to keep you engaged and spending money.
Some do a better job at this than others. Those that are more effective tend to be more popular and also potentially more addictive.
Competitive games tend to release the most dopamine because they are full of fast-paced excitement and action. Studies (1,2) show that highly competitive games release as much dopamine as psychoactive drugs – and in some cases, even more.
Some researchers also argue that online games have the potential to be more addictive than offline games.
It makes sense if you think about it: you can’t pause an online game while you can do so in an offline game. And when you play online, you can also play with friends and against others, which provides an extra layer of achievement.
Based on current research, it seems as though competitive online games tend to produce the most dopamine; however, almost any game that you play will release a certain amount of dopamine as long as the game feels rewarding to you.
Do Dopamine Detoxes Work?
Since dopamine motivates you to play more and more of your favorite game, what can you do to reverse this process? Is it even possible?
Luckily, it is possible to reverse it, and there is always time to do it with a dopamine detox.
Dopamine detox means quitting gaming cold turkey – deleting all of your games and accounts and not playing them for 90 days straight.
Why 90 days? Because that is how long it can take for you to reverse the changes to your brain from excessive gaming.
With the dopamine detox, you’ll be able to feel pleasure in everyday things again. You’ll be able to enjoy hobbies and things that seem like they’re taken for granted, such as food or relationships.
You’ll no longer need to play video games to feel pleasure again because your body will start to release enough dopamine through other activities.
Does a Dopamine Detox Work?
Yes, a dopamine detox will work, and it will be effective as long as you stick to it.
In the first two weeks, it is going to be tough. You may feel depressed and anxious, and you can feel irritated when you don’t play games. These experiences are normal, though.
Once you get through this initial period, things start turning for the better. You begin to appreciate things that you previously took for granted. You’ll start living your life again.
Need Help?
Starting a dopamine detox can be great, but inevitably, you might feel like you’re stuck along the way. That’s when you might need some extra help from someone who’s been there and done it.
If you need someone to talk to, it might be helpful to speak to a video game addiction therapist. We have a database of therapists at Game Quitters you can contact, no matter where you live.
At Game Quitters, we seek to help gamers, and people close to you cope and overcome their gaming addiction and related problems. We’ve prepared science-backed guides and content, such as:
Respawn program for gamers (90-day detox plan included)
If you’re a mental health professional and would like to learn more about gaming addiction, we offer internationally accredited gaming disorder training for professionals who want to become better at treating gaming issues.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in our brains that motivates us to do activities that make us feel pleasure. When you engage in a pleasurable activity, dopamine releases in your brain.
Pleasurable activities include simple things like eating, drinking, watching your favorite movie, listening to music, to “artificial” stimuli like playing video games, binge-watching Netflix, or gambling.
Too much dopamine, however, can lead to addiction, including drug addiction and video game addiction.
The more video games you play, the more you can need to play them to satisfy your needs, leading to disordered play or addiction.
In recent years, a new solution suggested by mental health specialists is a dopamine detox. Dopamine detox, or dopamine fasting, is a term first coined by Dr. Cameron Sepah, a Harvard psychiatrist from California.
In this article, you’ll learn how to do a dopamine detox, what dopamine detox is, and what positive effects it can have on your life.
Instead of getting enough dopamine from everyday activities, individuals suffering from addiction rely on receiving dopamine from drugs, alcohol, video games, or other external stimuli instead.
The addicted individual requires more of their stimuli of choice (drugs, alcohol, video games) to feel satisfied.
According to Mellis et al. (2005), the dopamine theory of addiction goes like this:
“Decreased DA (dopamine) function in addicted subjects results in a decreased interest to non-drug-related stimuli and increased sensitivity to the drug of choice.”
The dopamine theory of addiction suggests that dopamine is at the center of the addiction. With research suggesting that dopamine is the driver behind addictive actions, professionals have started treating addictions by addressing dopamine.
What Triggers Dopamine?
Dopamine is triggered by any pleasurable or rewarding activity we do. This includes everyday activities like eating or drinking to more addictive activities like taking drugs, alcohol, sex, or playing video games.
The key difference here is that some activities release more dopamine than others.
Taking drugs and playing video games produce an instant rush of cheap dopamine. According to some studies, video games release large amounts of dopamine in our brains – comparable to when taking drugs like amphetamine. And because these activities release more dopamine than others, we feel more pleasure doing them. So, consequently, we do more of these activities.
Our brain gets used to the stimulus after some time, which means that we’ll need to take more and more of the drug or play more video games to satisfy our needs. Other activities start to feel less enjoyable compared to our desired stimulus.
In addition, playing video games is convenient and sedentary, and it doesn’t take much effort to experience pleasure. You only need to open your phone or computer and start playing the game, and you’ll almost instantly begin experiencing stimulation and pleasure.
If we compare gaming to less convenient or higher effort activities that produce dopamine like going to the gym, playing video games starts to feel more comfortable. We can justify neglecting other activities for the instant gratification of gaming.
What are the Side Effects of Too Much Dopamine?
Dopamine is one of the most important chemicals in our brain. Its presence is required for normal functioning and often affects our mood and how we feel.
Having optimal amounts of dopamine is crucial for the normal functioning of our body, and it also helps us feel satisfied. Optimal levels of dopamine can contribute to being more alert, satisfied, productive, and motivated.
Having too much or too little dopamine can drastically change the way we live and feel.
The side effects of too much dopamine include:
ADHD
Addictions
Binge-eating and other binging behaviors
Gambling
Obesity
High levels of dopamine can also be a contributing factor to many states of mind, including:
Mania
Hallucinations
Delusion
Schizophrenia
Often, these conditions can present when someone takes a drug that increases dopamine levels. If the stimulus produces too much dopamine, then you may end up feeling like you’re on top of the world to the point where your brain can go into overdrive, leading to mental health issues and the potential conditions above.
Low levels of dopamine can also be problematic. Some of the potential side effects of low levels of dopamine include:
Reduced alertness
No motivation
Coordination difficulties
Possibility of depression, Parkinson’s disease, anxiety
When doing a dopamine detox, you must keep a good balance in your dopamine levels. Since you’ll stop doing activities that produce high amounts of dopamine, you’ll need to replace them with activities that will also produce enough dopamine to satisfy you, such as exercise.
What is a Dopamine Detox?
A dopamine detox is abstaining from all addictive activities that raise your levels of dopamine too high.
The idea behind the detox is to stop being dependent on activities like social media, video games, gambling, and other addictive behaviors. You’ll abstain from instant hits of dopamine and replace them with healthier activities that produce dopamine.
With the detox, you’ll stop doing these addictive activities for a set period, which is often recommended to be around 90 days.
Dr. Cameron Sepah created the original concept of dopamine detox. His idea was to help tech workers and venture capitalists stop dependence on social media and phone notifications.
The detox aims to prevent addictions to external stimuli and become less dependent on the dopamine produced by social media, video games, gambling, and other similar activities.
According to Dr. Sepah, there are six key areas that the dopamine detox targets:
For 90 days, you’ll stop playing video games and replace them with other activities to reverse the changes to your brain because of dopamine addiction.
Even though we support the theory of video game detox, you can also choose other activities that you find addictive and start a detox for them as well.
Now, it’s impossible to do a true dopamine detox. Your body will not instantly stop producing dopamine as you enter detox, as it will still get produced by other activities you do. But the goal of dopamine detox is not to eliminate all pleasurable activities but to stop the ones that get you addicted and cause problems in your life.
The key here is that you get dopamine from activities that truly make you feel happy and satisfied and the ones that make you healthy.
So that’s what a dopamine detox is, but can it be effective?
Do Dopamine Detoxes Work?
Dopamine detoxes have been proven to work countless times for individuals worldwide, as long as you have the determination to stick to them.
Addicted people’s brains adapt to the drug or video games. They become dependent on these activities to produce dopamine to help them feel happy.
Your reward system becomes numb to exposure to activities that might otherwise be pleasurable. To feel pleasure, you’ll need to play video games more and more, and no other activities will be able to match the dopamine rush provided by video games.
The extended amygdala is also affected, which causes you to feel anxious or depressed when you don’t play games.
Additionally, your prefrontal cortex may not function properly when you’re addicted to video games. This impairs your ability to think and make the right decisions, which might worsen the gaming addiction.
When you start a dopamine detox, these changes in your brain will begin to reverse. However, they will take time – and a lot of effort.
Inevitably when you start the detox, it is going to be tough. The first two weeks will be the hardest. You might feel some withdrawal symptoms like depression, lack of motivation, anxiety, or headaches.
However, that is when you need to double down on your detox. But, again, these signs are positive, and they show that the detox is working.
Eventually, you’ll start to feel and think more positively, you’ll have more energy, and your cravings will begin to diminish. After some time, you won’t feel the need to play games anymore, and your life can change completely as long as you stick to the plan.
How to Do a Dopamine Detox – Step by Step
So now that you know dopamine detoxes do work, how do you proceed from here?
We’ve prepared a step-by-step plan on how to do a dopamine detox properly.
Step 1: Decide to do Dopamine Detox and Commit to It
The first step begins with your mindset. Make sure your mindset is one where you believe in this process and believe in yourself to be successful with it.
But you must know that starting a dopamine detox takes time and dedication. You need to know it will get tough along the way, but you MUST be willing to stick to it. It’s the only way.
Think about your current situation if you’re addicted to video games. Do you want to continue like this? No motivation or energy to do anything else but to play video games all day?
Take a moment to think about why you want to quit playing video games. Then, imagine the life you want to live without your addiction. Then, please write it down and remember it. Writing out how you want to feel, your goals, and what you dream for your life will help keep you going when things get tough.
The detox is only going to work if you commit to it 100%. No “just one game” or “just one scroll of my Instagram feed.”
Step 2: Delete Your Games and Accounts
Now that you’ve decided to stick to the dopamine detox, it’s time to delete your games from your computer—all of them.
It might even be helpful to delete the accounts for the games you play most. If you have a lot of stuff on your account and you don’t want to delete it, one option is to sell it.
The reason why deleting your games and accounts is effective is that after you’ve deleted them, you won’t be able to jump into the game instantly.
You’ll have to re-install the game, which can be too much of a bother for some people. But deleting your account will be even more effective since it might take you longer to create an account, so you might refrain from doing it altogether.
If you don’t know how to delete your game accounts, we’ve created a series of helpful tutorials on Game Quitters that you can check out, showing you how to delete your accounts for various platforms.
Step 3: Start the Detox
Then it’s time to start the detox.
Mark the happy day on your calendar and observe the changes that it brings to your life.
Step 4: Stick to It for 90 Days
Now you need to stick to it for 90 days.
Why 90 days?
Because research suggests, that’s how long it may take for changes in your brain caused by addiction to begin reversing.
You might start experiencing some withdrawal symptoms, which is when it’s good to remind yourself why you started the detox in the first place. It is also a good time to develop new coping strategies and learn how to navigate challenges in your life without escaping into games.
Also, you’ll want to find replacement activities that will help you replace your gaming habit. Use our hobby tool to find a hobby that you like and try it. If you don’t like it, you can always try another hobby.
Step 5: Continue or Stop
After 90 days, you should be feeling better with your cravings and urges to play significantly reduced.
You now have two options:
You can continue the detox and living a life without your gaming addiction.
If you don’t know if you can’t play in moderation, then it’s up to you to try it. But it’s better to be cautious if you’re not sure, so you don’t get drawn into an addiction cycle again.
Access Our Full Guide on Dopamine Detox
Now you have the basics of the dopamine detox, but if you want to be truly successful, you’ll want to know the science behind the detox in more detail. You might also struggle to fill the void at times, and when it gets tough, you’ll want that extra bit of support.
That’s why we’ve prepared Respawn, where we feature the full guide on a 90-day detox. The vast majority of our users have great success with this method, and so could you.
“Having goals and watching yourself achieve them is the most satisfying feeling in the world. I don’t even think about gaming anymore.”
– Zachary
“Since I gave up video games I have started to learn python and begun a yoga practice.”
– Holly
“I reached 90 days and it’s the longest I’ve gone without playing video games my entire life.”
– Jack
“Yesterday I finished my 90 days!!! The first week was hard but worth it!!”
-Epicness
If you feel the need to, you can always talk to a therapist near you. We have a database of video game addiction therapists from all over the world, so contact the one near you and talk to them.
We’ve also created other pieces of content that you can check out:
If you’re a mental health professional and want to know more about gaming addiction and how to treat it, we’ve prepared a 15-hour virtual training on gaming disorder for professionals.
Parents – I know this is really hard to figure out. I know you are getting lots of mixed messages too. Watch for predators, watch for hate speech, watch for inappropriate content, social media is why our youth are depressed and anxious, etc. You’ve been told to be afraid of too much screen time and the long term impact of screens but in schools and as a way to stay connected (not even necessarily to socialize) screens are the norm. Homework is on a computer, class is on a computer, your kids teachers and coaches communicate on FB and Instagram. Hours in front of screens are nearly unavoidable.
Social Media Has Benefits & Risks
The good news is young people are far more likely to say that using social media makes them feel better rather than worse when they’re depressed, stressed, or anxious, and the number who report that has substantially risen since 2018. And young people are starting to be significant users of digital health resources like meditation, nutrition and fitness apps.
So now what? I’m all about harnessing.
1) Ask yourselves this: How will we as a family extract the positives and minimize the negatives of digital technology? This includes gaming and platforms like Discord.
2) Turn more attention to HOW best to use this powerful tool instead of only HOW MUCH it is being used.
3) Teach critical thinking, teach curating, and teach self-awareness around digital use.
Screens are not going away and they will continue to grow in use. You can’t and won’t always be there to monitor and intervene. That’s ok… and it’s important that we are working with our children to help them learn how to moderate and maintain healthy technology use.
Having trouble navigating that? Having trouble figuring out what to do instead of taking the phone or games away? Ask for help. We are here.
Below I will list some key findings from the Common Sense Media report on Coping with COVID-19: How Young People Use Digital Media to Manage Their Mental Health.
Key Findings:
Not surprisingly, many teens are currently in the midst of a significant mental health crisis.
Social media platforms have become even more important to young people for support, community, and self-expression over the past two years, especially for those experiencing depression.
Many are using social media and digital health resources to cope.
Many report finding relief and support by having a place to share their pain.
Many are connecting with health professionals on their phones.
For many it is a life line.
Please note I am in no way suggesting abandoning time limits or that it is a good idea to be online all the time, I’m suggesting the driver’s license model, the tech like you eat model and the mentor not monitor model.1414.NPR: At Your Wits' End With A Screen-Obsessed Kid? Read This×
My name is Anthony, I’m 23 years old and reside in Philadelphia. I began gaming at the age of 7 and my first console was the PlayStation 2. I absolutely fell in love with it and enjoyed all the incredible games that were popular at that time. Little did I know it would lead to addiction.
During school I was bullied a lot for being gay, so video games became my escape. I could be accepted and validated in a virtual world, while the real world felt harsh and unsafe for a gay kid raised in the nineties. Doing well at first person shooters made me feel in control and gave me a purpose.
Teenage Isolation
As I became a teenager, I started to isolate myself more and more from my peers and family. Video games became the only thing I enjoyed doing. Things like reading, family vacations, spending time with friends, was boring for me. I could only think about the next video game I wanted to play. I would stay up for hours gaming and then be extremely tired the next day.
Eventually, this all caught up to me. I was lonely and depressed. I was exhausted of having no goals or vision for my life. I felt I had been wasting my life in a virtual world, while the real world was out there waiting for me. When I started to experience suicidal feelings, I knew I needed help.
A Life Worth Living
I began seeing a therapist and she encouraged me to unplug from video games and begin to build relationships with other people and take up some new hobbies. So I took a leap of faith. I sold and donated ALL of my gaming equipment. I completely deleted every single of my online gaming accounts, and also my Reddit account.
After that everything began to change! I suffered withdrawal for about 3 months and then it got better. I joined a book club that met at a local coffeehouse and began to make some friends. We started sharing our lives together. I started to physically exercise and my health improved! Depression, suicidal thoughts, and loneliness began to disappear as I gained new hobbies and connected on a deep level with people.
After all this, I’m so grateful for the life I have discovered for myself! I have no desire to go back to video games when the real world is so much better! If you’re struggling with addiction to gaming, please know this: you’re not alone! You WILL get through it and find a life worth living beyond video games! Hope this is an encouragement to all of you!
I grew up as an average kid riding bikes and playing soccer. I got good grades in school, and never had a gaming console growing up. Sure, I played video games with the family PC but my gaming was kept in check by my strict parents. I never thought I had a gaming addiction.
Then university came along.
I purposefully chose a school far away from home to experience independence. While I did grow tremendously living far from home, there were no parents to tell me to stop when my gaming got out of hand.
I played all sorts of games (mostly MMO RPG’s, and League of Legends) and would often skip lectures to play. The only thing that kept my gaming in check was the very real fear of dropping out of school, and I would somehow not game during key points of the year such as midterms week, finals week, and the few days before a big project due date.
I had bad grades, but somehow, I didn’t fail any courses. I consider myself VERY lucky that it wasn’t much worse, especially because I was also addicted to Reddit.
I Was Given a Second Chance and I Almost Blew It
Despite my bad grades, I managed to land a summer internship. Even to this day, I have no idea how I landed that job, and I honestly think all the other candidates chose another job, so the company had the choice of having no intern or hiring me. Lucky for me that they did, as my bad grades were preventing me from finding anything, and I was heavily regretting my gaming habits through university.
The internship felt like a 2nd chance. I worked hard. Sometimes, crazy hard. I would average 60-80hrs of work a week. While the other interns were out enjoying parties or travelling, I was working hard, determined to not let my 2nd chance escape. My efforts paid off, and I got a full-time offer. I was due to start after my graduation.
Fast forward a few years. I was working full time, and was ‘gaming in moderation‘. There were a couple of sleepless nights of gaming here and there, and the job kept my gaming in check, but that was about it.
My schedule was work, sleep, game. I would attempt to get out and socialize but would soon give up and go back to gaming. Especially because all my friends were on Discord. And, now that I was getting comfortable with this new life, I felt my gaming time was slowly increasing.
I just got accepted into Grad School, which I had planned to attend part-time after work. However, seeing how my university years have gone, I knew that if I continued to game, I would get horrible grades again, and would be wasting a lot of money to not really learn anything.
Now, let’s take a breather from the story for a moment. Seeing how gaming was wrecking my grades, and I was stuck in this boring routine, I attempted many, many times to try and quit gaming in college.
Here are the methods I’ve tried:
Gaming “in moderation” by sticking to a schedule – didn’t work. I would always say “1 more game”.
Deleting games – With modern internet, it is so easy to reinstall games. With a fresh PC, I can get a solid high-quality game up and running in less than 30min.
Try other things like exercising and studying – gaming is more fun and rewarding
Switch my PC operating system to Linux – This actually worked for a few weeks. The problem is, if your machine is powerful enough, there are plenty of Linux games available, and with the right set of knowledge, you can get most Windows games to work on Linux no problem…
It Was Time to Turn My Life Around
Back to the story. With Grad School just around the corner, I knew I couldn’t stick to the methods that have failed for me in the past. I needed to quit COLD TURKEY.
I reinstalled Windows on my laptop and gave it to my parents who live a couple of thousand miles away.
Also, since I can’t not have a laptop, I got a crappy $250 Linux laptop that can watch videos and do office work. Most 3D games will probably not run on this system.
I found this step to be the most crucial. It’s very hard to stay connected with family and friends and do basic photo/file management without a computer, but not have the temptation to game. So I found this to be a good middle ground. Also, once you get used to a Linux system, it’s no different than using Windows.
The first couple of months were the toughest. I craved gaming so much and was depressed for long hours, but I had gotten rid of all temptations to get through it. After doing this, I successfully quit gaming for a whole year!
And this is what I accomplished in that year:
4 quarters of grad studies with A’s in most of the courses
Went on 5 separate camping trips
Learned rock climbing. The highest level I succeeded was a V4 in bouldering (climbing without a rope)
Went back-packing to the lovely Havasupai Falls
Watched the first 6 seasons of Game of Thrones (ok, this has nothing to do with quitting gaming).
Tried Surfing. I managed to stand up twice!
Visited Sedona in Arizona.
Paddled in a Whitewater Rafting trip, twice.
Ran 2 Half-Marathons (a full marathon is still too much for me…)
Went Skydiving from 13000ft
Logged an average of 1.5hrs of biking EVERY DAY (totalling your car helps, though I don’t blame that on gaming)
Amazing right?! And I was just an average single guy working a 9-5 job and gaming for the remainder of the day. I was literally at the height of my physical performance, at the ripe old age of 28.
I am so glad that I quit gaming.
Then I Met My Girlfriend…
I wish that the story ends there, but it does not. After 1 year of no gaming, I met the girl of my dreams. She is funny, smart, cute, shares a lot of my hobbies, and is overall, an amazing person to be around. I also found that she is a gamer that plays League of Legends. The game whose account I deleted a year ago!
I wanted to share as many hobbies with her as much possible, so I got another laptop and installed League back on it. I argued that this was to get closer with the girl I liked and that I would only play with her, and never alone or with others.
It worked for the first few months. Sharing a hobby with someone you like is an amazing feeling. Eventually, I asked her out, and we became a couple. Naturally, our game time together increased.
However, as we played, I noticed a lot of toxic players which brought my mood down.
I especially hated when a mistake I made led to her death (in the game of course). In an attempt to compensate for this, I wanted to play more, to get better.
However, unlike me, my girlfriend is someone that can actually game in moderation. She would only play a few hours a week, and there would be days when she simply does not feel like playing, so I started to also have times when I played alone. This time gradually increased, and when I met especially toxic players, I switched to other games. This went on for about a year.
After a year of gaming again, I noticed a change in my behaviour. I noticed that I was less and less patient with people around me, including my girlfriend. When I was at work, I was secretly searching for gaming strategies. When I was not gaming, I was thinking about gaming, and when my girlfriend was talking to me, it was getting harder and harder to focus. After 20 hours of gaming in a weekend, I knew that I had become addicted again.
It is a shame that we can’t enjoy video games together anymore, but I got some key takeaways from this experience:
For some people, gaming relapses can come in huge waves. For me, it was subtle. So subtle, in fact, that I didn’t even realize it until I was addicted again.
Some people are more prone to gaming addiction. My girlfriend has been gaming since she was a kid, and even now, she can game in moderation and has a healthy relationship with this activity.
I was much more willing to do chores and be helpful to others since I have a lot more time.
I did my homework early! I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever done that in my life.
I was more attentive and focused on the present. Daydreaming about gaming was also an addiction. But without gaming, the endless daydreaming had also gone away.
I plan to continue with this detox, and the eventual goal is to never play video games again. I know I will get urges, and I may reason myself back to gaming again, but this 2nd time is much easier than the first, and I know if there ever is a 3rd time, it will be even easier.
Today I’m 1 year free from video games. 52 weeks. I’m not stopping here.
I’m also 54 weeks free from social media. I’m not stopping here either.
I was so hesitant to sign up to Game Quitters and commit to quitting video games because it was all I knew in life. Nothing made me happier or filled me with purpose like gaming. All my friends were gamers and my whole world was on the computer. My video game addiction had control over me.
I never left the house, never dated, never developed myself into much aside from going to college and getting a job. I just looked forward to being home and playing games and not living my life. I spent all my time on Reddit and Twitch, and even though I had a few friends on Discord, I spent too much time on there too.
At first, I was ashamed of that, but shame is a word you learn to say as little as possible when you’re in therapy and trying to improve your life. Shame and regret are two of the biggest negative emotions you can feel and they often contribute to relapse and emotional spirals into deeper depression and anxiety.
Quitting video games would force me to confront these emotions, develop strategies to deal with them, and studying myself to be truly introspective.
The Harsh Reality of Pro Gaming
Quitting games is something special for me. With my childhood, comeback story, dealing with abuse, and my insane year its been one hell of a journey. Gaming was my crutch. It was my place to hide. It was my place to live when I couldn’t live and felt trapped. It was the outlet for all of my frustration and the source of my power. For me to turn away from gaming after it brought me this far has been so difficult.
I just refuse to be controlled and dependent on something that isn’t me. When people, companies, and societies failed me and left me alone I couldn’t take it anymore. I got so angry with the routine of being depressed, anxious, angry, filled with hate, and sad only to retreat to my bedroom and play on the computer. I’d play games with other miserable people. I’d throw myself into the toxic communities of gaming. I was so tired of people picking fights with me in random games because they thought it was funny.
I was tired of trying to do amazing things in games and not have it matter to me. I was the best player in EA Sports NHL for 4 years, ran 2 clans on RuneScape for 11 years, and I was the best Grifball Player in Halo Reach for 2 years. I was on an elite team for Halo Swat mode on Xbox LIVE and was about to make a push to study and dedicate my time to trying to become a pro Overwatch player.
None of it mattered.
Nobody cares when you’re that good at a game. They want you on your team, they want your attention so they can get attention from others that they’re playing with you, they pretend to be your friends and abandon you the minute you’re not the best. Being the best in the world meant nothing to me. I got nothing out of it emotionally.
I reached my plateau in gaming when my college friends were meeting women, getting married, having kids, and traveling the world on vacation. I was alone with fake friends. Even my friends from college who played video games were fake friends. They just want to have me over, play Super Smash, beat me in it, get angry at me if they lose because they are judging me and want to put me down, and then drink beer after.
I detached myself from this.
Gaming Had Taken Over My Life
I was tired of playing games for 18-24 hours straight from Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon and then 16 hours on Sundays. I was tired of going home after work and playing for 6 hours and not sleeping. I was tired of feeling numb afterwards and turning to porn to feel a little more alive. I was tired of not eating 3 meals each day. I was tired of having physical and mental withdrawals from not getting instant gratification. I was tired of being lonely and knowing my friends were pathetic. I was tired of how lazy video game players are. They don’t clean, they don’t cook, they don’t socialize in real life, they don’t pursue hobbies, and they don’t care about you. Some do, but most don’t. I don’t care if you’re one of the few who do care. I’ve been gaming for 20+ years and know enough to be satisfied with my statement above.
I want love. I want to love life. I want to wake up and know in my heart that nothing is pulling me to play games. Addiction has this invisible force in our brains which gives you anxiety if you’re not playing games. You feel like you can’t stand the quiet of being alone. You can’t stand the fact that you’re going to have to deal with your thoughts and your pain without drowning it out and forgetting. The same thing happens with social media apps and there’s even a term now called TikTok brain.
I grew tired of the cravings. I went into my own detox out of anger. I was tired of failing. I was tired of not being confident enough to make friends and find more well rounded hobbies. Never again was I going to lay in bed at 7 AM trying to fall asleep after playing games for almost a day straight. Malnourished from not eating food or drinking enough water. Physically confused and mentally exhausted due to too much focusing on games and dopamine rushes and depleted serotonin levels. I was tired of crying myself to sleep in the morning when others were waking up about to start their days. I was tired of letting myself down and harboring thoughts of myself being a failure.
Shame, regret, and failure. It’s so easy to blame yourself and hate yourself. I learned a long time ago that I loved myself. When I was at my worst I was there to pick myself back up when I had nobody. This gave me confidence in trusting myself to get through addiction. When I have nobody I’ll have myself. My spirit is stronger than anyone else’s spirit because I believe it and proved it to myself. That’s the attitude I needed to quit gaming.
Quitting an addiction is tough. Most of the time you fight these demons alone. Communities like Game Quitters are important in giving people structure, community, and hope for when we absolutely need help.
If someone were to ask me how I have been able to quit video game addiction I would say a few things.
4 Steps to Quit Gaming
Recognize You Have a Problem
Are you hiding from your life and yourself? Are you playing so much each day that you neglect everyone around you and your life? Do you continue to play even though you don’t want to play anymore? Do you suffer withdrawal when you’re not playing? Is it all you can think about? Is it what you turn to in life for happiness, success, friendship, and purpose? Are you filled with in-explainable brain fog when you’re not gaming and don’t feel mentally clear? Then you have a problem.
Stop Playing Cold Turkey
Don’t try to quit for 30-90 days and then go back to it. It won’t work and you will fail. Eventually you will recede and go back into bad habits of gaming, escapism, and depression.
I’ve seen so many people on this website, including myself, say with confidence that they are going to try gaming in moderation and they all fail. They all come back and say they failed. I failed.
I quit gaming from April of 2018 until September 1st of 2018. I did it and then just went back to old habits. By October I was playing 18 hours straight again and getting so angry. In the middle of October I had such an enraged moment where I just removed myself from gaming and realized I let myself down.
I knew I had the power to quit gaming if I made it 4 months before this. I needed to keep going. I loved my life when I quit gaming and wanted the rest of my life to be even better.
Understand Why You Play Video Games
If you consider your emotional/mental balance to be a building, then consider video games a support column holding up that building. If you remove the column the building will fall.
You depend on gaming for happiness and emotional balance. That’s not healthy.
I played games because I wanted friends, needed to feel purpose in life, wanted something I could do that I was good at, and wanted a place to escape.
To counter this, I found multiple hobbies that are only done in communities such as yoga, rock climbing, board game nights, recreational sports leagues, group hiking, book clubs, movie nights, cooking parties, boxing, you name it. Some stuck and some I hated.
I now have tons of friends though and they all care about me more than my gamer friends. The hardest part of finding a new hobby is being bad at it.
We all used to suck at video games at first, but eventually we became great. It sucks being bad again – especially if you were the best in the world at something else. Allow yourself to fail at a hobby and be bad. We refuse to because we are ashamed of ourselves in the first place.
Behavioural therapy has taught me how to deal with embarrassment, shame, regret, and failure. I also took my job more seriously and became a lot better at it. I’m professionally recognized now.
Don’t Rely on Willpower
Willpower only gets you so far. If you don’t study yourself and have introspection then you will fail at quitting an addiction.
You have to do what I mentioned in step 3 in order to quit. You have to understand why you are addicted.
I haven’t craved video games in over 8 months because I replaced my sources of friendship, success, and happiness from gaming to other things. I no longer crave games and don’t need to rely on willpower at all. I no longer crave anything.
Final Thoughts on Quitting Gaming
I’m very proud of myself for quitting this far and continue to keep going. Gaming is evil in my eyes. I dislike most gamers. I dislike the gaming community, and I dislike game companies. I want my mind to be free for the rest of my life and I’ll make sure it happens.
Thank you everyone for being here along the way with me. If I can do it so can you.
“It became impossible to disconnect from my devices.”
My name’s Jack and I’m from Grand Rapids, Michigan. I’m 16, and I’ve been playing video games since I was 8 years old. Up until I was in the 6th grade, I’d play games on my Nintendo DS for hours every day. Not much changed after that, but the DS got replaced by the Wii U.
I loved gaming because I could just switch off while playing. It didn’t take much brainpower and it would keep me entertained for hours.
Things got worse when I bought an Xbox One. It became impossible to disconnect from my devices.
When Gaming Takes Over
I realized gaming was a problem because I started spending more time in front of a screen instead of doing what I really loved – playing the guitar. I began spending more time at home playing games than going out with friends.
My typical day while gaming:
I would wake up and play video games for a couple of hours while still in bed.
I’d get breakfast and come back up to my room to play more games.
After lunch, I’d get back to gaming in my room or on my DS.
Then I’d spend time playing games on my phone.
Finally, I’d head back to bed.
Looking back it’s pretty clear I had a problem. I started sleeping less and found myself not enjoying life as much. I became depressed and anxious.
I had to remove myself from gaming completely. For me, there’s no such thing as moderation. I sold my Xbox One and finally bought that second guitar I wanted. I had to sell my DS and all of the games for my consoles. I even got rid of all the games on my computer.
What really helped me was replacing urges with going outside or hanging out with a friend. It’s a lot easier to overcome the cravings if you get yourself out of the house.
Life is Amazing Once You Escape the Virtual World
My typical day now includes more activities like biking, taking pictures of nature, and playing the guitar. I even joined a band!
I have learned so much more about myself than I thought possible, like finding out that I’m great at photography. It’s now one of my deepest passions.
My advice for someone else who is in the same position as me is to find other hobbies and talk to friends. Try to find some friends that don’t play video games.
If you’ve spent any amount of time in the self-improvement space on the internet, you’ve probably heard people mention that you should find a mentor.
You’re told that you can’t become a better person without one, and you need one to achieve your goals.
Now, it sounds great on paper. Having someone guide you through the pitfalls in your life, and knowing how to get you to where you want to be.
But if you’re like I was 5 years ago, with no knowledge of mentors, then this article is for you.
What we’ll be discussing:
what is a mentor
should you get a mentor
why the internet is your most valuable tool
how to find a mentor for free
Let’s jump in.
Oh, and if you prefer to listen instead of reading, check out the Life Unlocked podcast episode that goes along with the post!
What Is a Mentor?
Aside from stating the obvious that they’re someone who mentors you.
A mentor is someone that provides coaching or advice on anything from business and mindset to motivation, fitness, health or money.
There’s no end to the number of things you can be mentored in.
It’s just about finding whichever one is the right one for you based on where you’re at the moment.
For example, it could be an online chess teacher reviewing your games or it could be a freelance writer you meet for coffee once a week.
That’s all there is to it.
Now that you know what a mentor is, it begs the question…
Should You Get a Mentor?
It’s difficult to give an answer to this question that isn’t just – it depends.
Usually, you’ll know if you need to seek out a mentor. You might encounter a specific problem that needs the right guidance. Or you just want advice on how to proceed with a difficult situation.
It’s entirely up to you.
I’ll give a few examples of situations where you may want to consider finding a mentor:
You need guidance for your business: This will only apply to a small minority of people, but if you’re in that position then it’s very to get advice from someone who has been down the same road you’re on. Usually, it comes from someone who is a key figure in the industry you work in.
You want very specific coaching on a skill: This is very popular in sports. Every top athlete has a mentor, although they’re usually known as a coach, to keep on the right track. However, it can be applied to any number of skills, depending on what you want to make progress in. Due to it being more niche, it’s generally higher in price.
You want to improve your mindset:This has become a lot more common over the years. Mentors will often help you to see things in a different way, offer clarity on particular problems, or help you make an important decision. Mindset is a big part of self-improvement, and you’ll often find other mentors helping you build up your mindset to go along with their coaching. Despite this, it’s still possible to find dedicated mindset coaches.
Now, you might be wondering – what if I’m a complete beginner and want to begin improving myself as fast as possible?
Before you start thinking that you need a mentor in order to get anywhere, you’ll be much better off in the long run if you try to work through your problems alone. At least in the beginning.
Fortunately, there’s an amazing wealth of knowledge available to you; especially in the modern era.
Introducing, the internet!
How to Become Your Own Mentor Using the Internet
The internet has become an amazing place over the last 30 years. You can find the answer to any question you have. You can connect with anyone in the world no matter where you are.
This is what makes it the perfect tool to start your journey into personal development.
Now, one thing that’s important to note. There’s definitely a right and a wrong way to go about using these tools. The majority of people use them for entertainment, instead of helping them to become a better person.
You choose to follow ‘influencers’ and celebrities instead of experts, entrepreneurs, and people who are giving out amazing advice.
You can gain insights into the minds of billionaires. Yet most people would rather read fiction books and escape the real world.
Now, there’s definitely a place for all of the things I’ve mentioned. I’m not saying you abstain from everything you enjoy. Who doesn’t love a good fantasy book?
But, it ties into the mindset portion I mentioned earlier.
The first stages of personal development are about evolving your mind. Learning to go from a fixed to a growth mindset. Finding the right people to follow, and removing any boundaries you might have put on yourself in the past.
With the power of the internet, the sky isn’t even the limit anymore.
It took me a long time to realise that the people I was following online were actually acting as mentors. However, once I opened myself to the possibility that not every mentor needs to know I exist, I noticed a big shift in my mindset.
Suddenly, they were no longer people I was just taking advice from. They were people I could study and model my life after. I could follow in their footsteps, and learn how to fast track my way towards building a business.
What we consume determines the lives that we live.
I’m always reminded of this quote when I find myself wasting a couple of hours on some mindless activity.
I know that if I continue down that path I’m not going to make any progress.
However, if I become mindful of what I consume then it will have a knock-on effect on the rest of my life. I’ll be more likely to stick to my habits, I’ll be more productive, and I’ll get to where I want to be much quicker.
So to summarise, the internet has an unlimited amount of potential to help you create the life of your dreams. Just make sure you don’t consume the wrong material too often, or you’ll find yourself taking 2 steps forward and 2 steps back.
With that being said, what if you feel like you’ve exhausted the free resources available to you? How do you go about approaching someone to mentor you, and how much should you pay them?
Let’s find out.
How to Find a Mentor for Free
By this point, you’ve probably found some people in your industry that you would love to learn more from.
But how do you go about approaching them?
There’s definitely a right way and a wrong way – and it’s all down to creating value.
You have to remember, the ones at the top of their industry didn’t get there by building poor relationships and wasting their time.
When you’re considering someone to be your mentor, think about how you can offer something to them in return.
The most straightforward way you can do this is by offering your skills.
If you haven’t got any skills, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Click here to learn why.
If there’s something you can offer that will allow them to get more out of their business, they’re going to be much more receptive to you asking for help.
For example, maybe you’re skilled in marketing and have seen a way that they can optimize a huge part of their sales funnel. Or you might be a graphic designer that wants to help them create social media templates and improve their branding.
That doesn’t mean you should send them a message straight away saying “hey I’ll improve your website if you mentor me”.
Lead with value and focus on building a relationship.
So instead of saying what I just mentioned, you could send them something like:
“Hey, I really enjoyed your book on A, and it really helped me develop my skills in B. Especially where you talked about C. Speaking of which, I’d love to be able to give back to you in some way, and I think my knowledge in B would be very beneficial to you – especially when it comes to designing your adverts. I think by doing ‘so and so’ you could really get a lot more out of it. I’d handle the whole process, at no cost to you at all. Let me know if you’d be interested in exploring it further and we can jump on a call and get things moving.”
Right, there’s a lot to that message. So let’s try and break it down.
You start by letting them you know you’re a fan of their work, and bonus points if you can point to something specific from them. If they don’t have a book it could be an e-mail they sent, a course they’ve created or something else.
You don’t want to waste words, so don’t spend ages gushing about how much of a fan you are. It doesn’t look good.
Then you mention how you can be valuable to them. Emphasise the fact that you care about their time, and again, don’t waste words. Give them a specific way that you can improve their current situation with as little effort from them as possible.
Notice how at no point did we mention we want them to mentor you?
Like I said earlier, you just want to add value in the beginning, without expecting anything in return.
More than likely they’ll know what they’re doing, but one thing I’ve noticed about people in that position – they love to share their knowledge and help people.
They’re usually some of the most giving people you can find, and if you can build a relationship with them in the long-term you’ll get so much more value out of it than you put in.
Finally, it should go without saying, but don’t just copy what I wrote. Adapt it to suit you and your situation.
Just remember the three key principles:
lead with value
don’t waste words
give more than you take
And before you know it you’ll be well on your way to success.
What If I Want to Pay?
Of course, you can also go the route of paying for someone’s time. If you want to speed up the process and have the capital to invest in yourself, feel free to go that route.
Again, just contact the person, and see if they offer coaching services. If not, see if you can pitch them on a 1-hour call each week for $X. Just make sure you put the advice they give you into action.
The teacher can only be as good as the student wants to be.
So don’t waste their time. Come prepared for each session with questions, struggles, and solutions. Otherwise, you’re just wasting money – and nobody wants to do that.
Mentors can be an invaluable, and almost necessary, resource to catapult you towards success. You just need to know when and how to make use of them.
The rest is up to you.
Hopefully, this article has given you the information you were looking for. If not, let us know and we’ll see what we can do to help!
Remember to listen to the podcast episode and leave a review if you enjoyed it. It really helps us out!
In this post, I want to share with you how I channelled my obsessive energy from gaming into pursuing my passions.
Hopefully, by the end of the article, you’ll have a better understanding of why you feel unmotivated to pursue new activities. As well as learning how to focus your energy into meaningful tasks, and really take yourself to the next level.
Be sure to check out the accompanying podcast episode on Gaming the System. Listen as you read!
Gaming Has Numbed Your Emotions
It’s very hard for people to find that same energy and passion they have for games and apply them to other activities.
I’ve experienced it a lot, especially as someone who loves learning as many skills as possible.
However, I always find myself burning out after just a couple of months. It doesn’t sound too bad, I’m pretty knowledgeable in a lot of different things.
But, I know that if I want to be successful I need to focus on one thing and become as good at it as I can.
So, why is this happening?
You have to remember that you’ve been playing video games for a long time.
Most people I know started playing video games when their age was in single figures. In my case, it was around 4 or 5 years old.
When you consider how addictive video games are, and how stimulating they are compared to anything else, you can see how it would have a major effect on the way your brain functions.
While it might seem complex, your brain is actually pretty simple.
At the end of the day, human beings are animals. Which means we have an animal brain.
This brain has been trained to seek out enjoyment through whatever means possible. In the past, think back thousands of years ago, this hit of dopamine would have come from hunting all day and securing a meal for your family.
Now, you can just turn on your console or whip out your phone and it’s like you’ve been injected with 200 CCs of straight dopamine into your bloodstream.
After continued gaming, your brain becomes hardwired to expect this kind of rush from anything you do.
Therefore, when you take up a new activity and it’s not as fun as you’d like it to be, your brain feels starved.
It’s longing for that hit of dopamine from gaming because literally nothing else can compare to it (apart from perhaps drugs but that’s a different story).
That’s also why we recommend people try to take 90 days off gaming when they want to overcome their addiction. This gives your brain time to reset back to normal levels of dopamine and allows to finally start enjoying things again.
Ultimately, it becomes a battle of how much of a fight you can put up against your own brain. Will you give in to the boredom? Or, will you use your ‘passion’ for gaming and channel it into something productive?
To put it simply, the reason why you play video games so much is that it fulfils specific needs. Not just that, but it does so extremely well.
These needs are:
Temporary escape
Social connection
Constant measurable growth
To be challenged
It’s pretty difficult to think of a video game that doesn’t fulfil at least 3 out 4 of those needs.
Now, can you think of any activities you do in real life that come to close to that?
You might be able to hit 2 or 3 of them if you’re lucky, and even all 4 in some rare cases. But the path to getting the same dopamine hit from say, running a marathon, compared to beating a boss in a video game is much longer.
Your brain is always going to take the path of least resistance.
So, what you need to do is identify the main reasons why you’re playing video games.
In my case, it was the need to escape.
I wanted to escape from my problems and struggles in my real life, such as my university work.
For you, it could just be that you’re lonely and when you’re online you feel part of a group.
Just take a few minutes – or thirty – to come up with the specific needs you’re fulfilling with gaming, and then when you’re ready, move on to the next step.
Finding the Right Activity For You
You might have already come to this conclusion by now, but the answer to this question isn’t as easy as you’d probably hoped for.
There isn’t one magic activity that will be the perfect mix of socialising, challenge, growth or escape (except for maybe chessboxing, no seriously have you seen this?).
Ultimately, it comes down to one simple thing:
The right activity for you is the activity you choose to do
That’s it.
The truth is, no matter which activity you choose, you’re probably not going to enjoy it at the start.
It’s a matter of sticking with it through the struggles, so you can get to the point where it turns in a passion.
But, it’s not all bad news…
Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed the process up a bit.
It’s a process I’ve used in the past to become a full-time web developer within 5 months of learning to print “Hello World” in HTML and got my first photography gig within 3 months of picking up a DSLR.
I explained this in a bit more detail over on episode 6 of the Life Unlocked podcast, which you can listen to here.
Basically, it all stems from using the same obsession that allows me to play games for 12 hours straight and channelling it into a particular skill.
It will vary from person to person, but it generally looks like this:
Become interested in a new skill
Learn a bit more about it by reading and watching content online
Start picturing what it would look like to be an expert
Become obsessed with learning as much as I can in the shortest space of time (courses, books, articles, videos etc.)
Also, if you just want to take something up as a hobby for a couple of hours a week – like learning a language – this probably isn’t the best approach.
This article is about using the same passion you have for gaming and putting it into something else.
So, let’s quickly break down each step one-by-one:
Become Interested In a Skill
For me, the desire to learn a specific skill happens seemingly at random.
I might see something online that catches my eye, and end up going down a rabbit hole of guides and videos. Before you know it I’ve got 3 books about how to forage wild mushrooms getting delivered to my house.
Perhaps you’ve wanted to pursue a particular activity or skill for a while. It could something you’ve wanted to do since you were a kid, or maybe someone you know has become interested in it recently.
You’re basically trying to understand the mechanics and logistics of learning a skill.
It might seem amazing on the surface, but if it turns out you’ll have to dedicate an entire floor of your house to it then it’s probably not feasible. An extreme example, but you get the idea.
The best way to learn more about a skill is through a combination of the following:
books
videos
articles
workshops
If it exists, there’s more than likely a book or video about it. Spend a bit of time learning and then you’ll get a better idea of whether or not it’s a good fit for you.
Again, even if you’re someone who’s creative and are interested in learning high-level calculus, don’t get put off just because you ‘think’ you’re only limited to creative pursuits like art and music. You might be surprised what you learn about if you push your comfort zone.
Picture Yourself as an Expert
This one’s pretty simple.
I’ve talked before about the importance of visualization, and this is no different. I’m always finding myself imagining what it would be like if I was fluent in Japanese or a guitar wizard.
As a result, I get an intense desire to pursue the skill further. Knowing what’s possible and seeing myself achieving it makes a huge difference to whether or not I stick to the activity over the long-term.
It’s Time to Get Obsessed
This is where you start taking it seriously.
Not only are you learning through a few articles or videos, but you’re also learning from courses and might even hire someone to help you.
There a ton of free or paid courses on the internet, so make sure to do your research.Reddit is a great resource, as well as Udemy and Skillshare.
Once you’ve found your path, it’s just a matter of walking it.
Dedicate some time every day devoted to learning and practising your skill. It’s important to get real-world experience as fast as possible.
Even if you only have an hour a day to spare, use that hour. Take some lessons out of Deep Work, and make that hour the most productive hour of your day.
As long as you keep this up consistently, and practise properly, you’ll find yourself becoming a pro in no time.
Next Steps – What To Do When It Gets Hard
Look, it’s going to be hard.
There will definitely be times where you want to give up on your skill and just try something else.
But you have to avoid this at all costs.
The best way to do it is by building your awareness.
The next time you feel the urge to go back to gaming or quit learning your hobby, try to stop yourself in the moment and think for a second.
Why exactly do you want to quit?
Are you bored? Is it too hard?
What needs are you missing out on?
Perhaps you’ve been so focused on solo skills, and haven’t made any new friends. Or, maybe it’s not challenging enough and you want something more difficult.
Whatever it is, try to become aware of your feelings and desires in the moment. Then it’s just a case of looking for ways to change it.
Just remember to try and remind yourself it’s about the long term.
Really focus on wanting to become the best version of yourself and make it your priority. Make it impossible for you not to become that person.
Eventually, as you phase out gaming for new skills, you’ll see what you were really missing out on in your life. All the missed opportunities and experiences.
After a while you’ll become so in love with the new life you’ve created, you’re probably not going to go back to gaming.
But if you do, just go back to what I said about thinking in the moment. Process your emotions and eventually, you’ll become unstoppable.
Busy work is where you trick yourself into thinking you’re being productive.
But, in reality, you’re accomplishing meaningless tasks that aren’t getting you any closer to completing your goals.
Compare that to deep work.
Deep work consists of focused, intentional sessions of work on high-impact tasks.
For example, I’ve recently made a shift towards starting my own digital marketing business.
Every single day I’m having to face a decision about which tasks will bring actual results which tasks make me think I’m being productive.
Sure, I could fine-tune my website or send some tweets.
However, in reality, I’m going to get a lot more benefit if I cold-email 50 people and land one client.
That’s not to say some of the tasks that count as busywork aren’t necessary for a business.
But at the end of the day, you have to consider what the most optimal route is that you can take from where you are now to achieving your biggest goals.
If you’d rather listen to your articles than read them, don’t worry! You can check out the podcast episode all about escaping busy work and using deep work to transform your life.
Listen here!
How do I Know What Counts as Busy Work or Deep Work?
More simply, how do I know which tasks I should be avoiding?
In my case, I’ve got a list of goals of where I want to be three months from now.
It could be something like getting X amount of clients or making a certain amount of money.
Then I work out how to achieve those metrics.
I’ve worked backwards from back-to-front to create a step-by-step process to take me to those goals.
So what does that process look like?
It all starts with a master to-do list.
These are the end goals that you want to complete within 3 or 6 months.
Then ask yourself the question: “What are the exact steps I need to take to achieve these goals?”.
If you want to get 1,000 monthly visitors to your website, what does that look like?
It doesn’t need to be too detailed at this point, just come up with basic steps.
Are you going to post more content, optimize your website and social media, run promotions, paid advertising?
Then it’s just a case of breaking it down into shorter objectives or goals that you can achieve every day.
Following on with the traffic example, your daily task list could look something like this:
This took around 15 minutes to make, and I now have an exact task list that I can work on every single day.
A failure to plan is a plan to fail.
That being said, there is still a time and a place for ‘busy work’ in your daily routine.
You still need to do admin work, reply to e-mails, or send some Tweets. However, you should try and schedule time in your day where you’re usually at your least productive to complete these tasks.
Personally, I always hit a slump in the afternoon and am at my most productive in the morning and evening.
Therefore, around 3PM is the perfect time for me to indulge in some busy work and go and hit the gym.
Do what’s best for you though, and if you have no idea what works – try a bunch of things!
Keep testing until you discover your optimum working routine, then it’s just a matter of getting into a deep work state and smashing your goals every day.
Deep Work – A Quick-Start Guide
Deep work can mostly be summed up by one word: Intention.
When you work with a deep intention to be focused and wholly devoted to the task in hand, you’re going to find yourself in a state of deep work.
However, saying it’s about intention isn’t very helpful.
Fortunately for you, I’ve done the leg-work and read through the amazing book by Cal Newport devoted to this idea of deep work.
Have you ever heard someone tell you to work smart instead of hard?
Well once you start implementing deep work into your daily routine you’ll be the smartest damn worker around.
Just don’t expect it to work straight away. Think of it like a muscle.
The only way you can build it up is by repeatedly training and improving with consistency. You may only be able to hit 30 minutes to start with, but within a few months, you could easily hit 2 hours.
The 4 Key Principles of Deep Work
Single-Tasking
You’ll never get anything done if you’re trying to complete half a dozen tasks at once.
Stop jumping between multiple things, and stop thinking having 20 tabs open is productive.
Yeah, I’m looking at you.
You need to dedicate yourself to focus on one task and one task only.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
Remove Distractions
Have you ever had your phone next to you while working, only for the screen to light up?
“It’s just a harmless text message, I’ll reply real quick then get back to work.”
Then, before you know it, you get a notification from Twitter and after 20 minutes of scrolling, you accidentally close the app and realise what in the world you were doing.
My personal pre-work routine is:
Make sure I have some water
Noise-cancelling headphones with non-intrusive music
Turn on Do Not Disturb on my e-mails and on Windows
Put my phone on silent and zip it away in my bag
Review my task list and then get to work
Your mileage may vary, but the most important thing is to make sure your phone is out of sight.
You need to get rid of any and all temptations.
Less Social Media
On the topic of smartphones, social media is another thing you need to clamp down on.
Not only is it an incredibly addicting time-sink, but you’re killing your attention span.
It’s already going to be hard enough for you to focus for extended periods of time, don’t make it any harder for yourself.
Try setting up app timers or locks to ensure you don’t spend more than 30-60 minutes a day on social media. Also, don’t use it at all after a certain time.
You need to wind down at the end of the day, and that involves getting yourself away from needless stimulants like your phone and your TV.
I like to set an “Amish Time” alarm on my phone to remind me when to settle down with a good book and start relaxing.
But, in Deep Work, Newport outlines a few ways you can introduce the deep work philosophy into your routine without it being obtrusive.
These are as follows:
Monastic Philosophy. Cut out your distractions completely like you would if you were a monk.
Bimodal Philosophy. Alternating between a normal and monastic life. You may have a specific place you go for extended periods such as a remote cabin with limited infrastructure. Carl Jung was a famous example of someone who lived the Bimodal Philosophy.
Rhythmic Philosophy. My personal favourite. This is where you create a fixed time for deep work every day, or on specific days of the week. I like to work between 11am and 4pm, then from 7pm to 11pm.
Journalistic Philosophy. Cal’s favourite. You do deep work whenever you get a chance. Works especially well if you have a busy or unpredictable schedule e.g. journalist.
Lastly, I haven’t included it in the list but a good thing to do is put on a timer.
I like to put one for 90 minutes, and then focus the entirety of those 90 minutes working on a task.
Then you can see how much work you can actually get done, and compare it to how much time you think it takes you.
These are usually vastly different!
Now you’re ready to take on the world.
Well, not quite. But, you can certainly implement the principles in this article in order to create massive change very quickly.
It’s something I’ve used to great effect in my day-to-day life, and I’m sure you’ll get a huge amount of value too.
Don’t forget to check out the podcast episode on deep work here, and let us know what you think. Are you going to implement deep work into your routine? (I hope so)
It seems like every other week you hear about how another celebrity or athlete is struggling with addiction.
Usually, the spotlight is on drugs or alcohol. But, more recently, gaming addiction is starting to show up more and more.
You might argue that gaming addiction is preferable to drugs, and strictly from a health standpoint, you may be right. However, there are numerous stories coming to light about how video games have ruined careers, torn families apart, and even caused deaths.
Couple this with the ease of access to thousands of games thanks to smartphones, it’s no wonder sports stars are turning to gaming as a means to escape their real-world pressures and responsibilities.
Video game addiction is a real mental health condition affecting millions of people around the world.
The World Health Organization recognizes it as gaming disorder and it is “a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behaviour, which may be online or offline, manifested by impaired control over gaming, increasing priority given to gaming to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other life interests and daily activities and continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences.”
The difference between a healthy fun gaming hobby and an addiction is the negative impact the activity is having in your life.
By their nature, athletes are very competitive people. Sports psychotherapist, Steve Pope, spoke about this in an interview on the gaming epidemic plaguing English football:
Footballers have an addictive personality because that’s what makes them good at their job.From an early age at academies, they are conditioned to work for a high, whether that is making a great pass or scoring a great goal. That is the work-for high.
The brain likes that feeling, likes that elation, likes that rush.
But if they are not getting that high from football, they are getting it from something else – alcohol, drugs, gambling or gaming. That is the lazy high. Footballers are trained to be competitive and with the kind of games they are playing, Fortnite or Fifa, they are continually in a competition.
It’s a follow on from playing football.
You could argue that gaming addiction isn’t as serious as an addiction to drugs or alcohol. That just isn’t the case. Regardless of what you’re addicted to, the impacts on your life are still real.
Competing at an elite level is an incredibly high-pressure job.
You’re constantly under the spotlight, have scrutiny from fans, and if you don’t perform you could lose your job and career. Couple this with increasingly stringent rules, testing, and regulations for drugs and alcohol, and you find that athletes are finding other outlets to escape in.
At the end of the day, athletes are people too. They need ways to de-stress just like anyone else. However, as gaming isn’t regulated nearly as much as other vices, the habit often goes unnoticed and untreated.
Players are staying up until 4am the day before a match, which undoubtedly affects their performance.
Can you see the problem there?
Players don’t perform so they escape through gaming. Gaming affects their performance so they escape further into gaming…
You get the idea. It’s a constant cycle of self-fueled negative energy that’s only becoming more prominent as time goes on. When 83% of teenagers play video games regularly, our future professional athletes are developing gaming problems early in life.
Athletes Struggling to Escape the Game
You might think gaming addiction is an issue that only effects a few amateur athletes.
You couldn’t be more wrong. Even players that are at the top of their game are becoming stricken with gaming disorder.
On the surface is the story of a man riddled with talent, success, and everything he could want out of life. However, strip back the exterior and you find a different tale.
A tale rooted in addiction and neglect.
In one interview, Neil commented on his addiction to gaming:
I probably could have won more tournaments […] I was spending time playing video games when I should have been spending it with my family and on the practice tables. I was addicted to League of Legends, World of Warcraft and FIFA. It was ridiculous. I was staying up all night playing these video games.
Neil has a self-acclaimed addictive personality.
When he was younger he became addicted to snooker, and simply replaced that same addiction with gaming. The rest of his story is truly fascinating, so make sure you read the whole of it here: “Neil Robertson Gaming Addiction“
Quinn Pitcock
Doug Pensinger/Getty Images
In 2007, after being drafted by the Colts out of Ohio State, Quinn Pitcock was showing all the signs of a promising defensive lineman about to make his mark on the NFL.
This made it all the more puzzling when he unexpectedly announced his retirement before the 2008 season. But it wasn’t drugs or alcohol that had caused the demise of his career, as is so often the case.
As it turns out, Quinn had found himself at the mercy of video games. Surrendering his entire day just to get his fix of Call of Duty – his preferred vice at the time.
He’d even spend up to 18 hours a day gaming, at which point it had taken complete control over his life. In an interview with ESPN he discussed the power of his cravings to play games:
The only way I could get my endorphins was by playing video games. I would break the games, try to get rid of them, but I couldn’t stop. I’d say, ‘Quinn, what are you doing?’ Physically, I could not put down a video game.
This is a struggle faced by everyone that suffers from a video game addiction.
That intense desire to play games, to the point that you physically can’t put the controller down, is hard to describe to people who have never suffered.
This is why, despite it possibly being detrimental to their careers, we need more athletes and celebrities to speak out about their problems. It helps to raise awareness of the situation, which is one of the most important things we could be doing to speed up the introduction of treatment for gaming addiction.
Top players, who competed in the World Cup for England and play in one of the best teams in the world, are finding themselves spending the entirety of their free time playing games.
One player, who wanted to remain anonymous spoke about the effect of his gaming addiction on his career:
When I get back from training, the first thing I do is turn the Xbox on to play Fortnite.
I play for about eight to ten hours a day, but I once played 16 hours non-stop the day before a match.
It is quite normal for me to stay up playing until two o’clock or three o’clock in the morning.
I get a lot of eye strain, I am tired the next day and I miss training sometimes.
This isn’t an isolated case, either.
Three of Tottenham Hotspurs’ best players – Harry Kane, Dele Alli, and Kieran Trippier – racked up almost 400 hours on Fortnite between them during the World Cup in Russia.
These are players that are under tremendous amounts of pressure, and they should be allowed to de-stress in whatever way they see fit.
However, is spending the majority of your time playing Fortnite the most optimum thing a player at the very top of their game should be doing? When they stay up late playing it brings on eye strain, lethargy, and even back problems.
In 2018 a story broke that a prominent young prospect has likely jeopardized their hockey career because they couldn’t stop playing video games.
I’m not gonna say the player’s name. I really doubt he’s going to make it to the NHL, and it’s because of a video game addiction. […] He’ll play until all hours of the night and into the morning and then he’ll have no energy the next day. Like, he’ll be a write-off. And it is that bad.
As a first-round draft pick for a top NHL team, the player was likely going to become a big name in the sport.
It’s not uncommon for NHL players to unwind with a bit of gaming. Josh Hart and Larry Nance Jr. played Fortnite together for over 10 hours straight before a game. Hart even went on to say that his win on Fortnite almost meant more to him than winning the title.
It raises questions as to whether or not gaming will be banned by teams in the near future. It’ll no doubt increase their performance, but at the same time will likely lead to higher levels of stress and frustration from the players.
Especially with athletes starting to stream on Twitch, they’re dedicating less of their time to their sport and more to gaming.
It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.
Does it Really Matter if Athletes are Addicted to Gaming?
You might be reading this and thinking “Who the hell cares? They earn millions a year they can do what they want.”
In one sense, you’re right. They can do whatever they want. But should they?
Consider these athletes are respected and looked up to by a large number of young people. If they see that their favourite sports stars are playing Fortnite for 10 hours straight every day, they might not see any harm in doing the same.
There might not be anything wrong with an hour or so spent playing games every day, but children are incredibly sensitive to over-stimulation. They don’t know the difference between healthy and unhealthy, all they know is that games make them feel great.
When you try to reduce the amount of screen-time, after a child has become used to a certain way of living, it usually ends with extreme mood swings and even violent tendencies.
In our parent support group on Facebook, we see countless stories from mothers and fathers about how their child has threatened all manner of things if they tried to take their gaming away.
It’s easy to blame the parents for not being more strict, but it’s very different saying that and actually being in the situation.
No doubt kids will use their favourite athlete’s gaming habits to justify their own. Something we commonly saw with the Fortnite World Cup.
What’s in Store for the Future?
All that we can hope as a result of athletes struggling with gaming addiction, is an increase in awareness and support of a problem that affects millions of people worldwide.
Once the proper support systems are in place, we can go about developing treatment programs for those in need.
The WHO’s decision to classify Gaming Disorder was a huge step forward. We’ve also seen a huge increase in exposure from the media and celebrities about the extent of video game addiction.
Even so, we’re a long way away from where we want to be in the future.
There’s still a lot of work to do. Not just here at Game Quitters, but for families all around the world who are affected.
“What started as a harmless hobby, transformed into a life-destroying addiction. One that ultimately led to me getting discharged from the military and having a marriage ending in divorce.”
I’m from a small town in Virginia. There wasn’t much for us to do apart from the annual get together at the local park.
I remember my dad bringing home a PlayStation one day when I was four years old. I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen.
Best of all, I was allowed to play pretty much anything.
What started as a harmless hobby, transformed into a life-destroying addiction. One that ultimately led to me getting discharged from the military and having a marriage ending in divorce.
I don’t blame my parents one bit, though. They didn’t know. How could they?
Gaming Was Always A Part of My Life
Since the original PlayStation, I always had a gaming console. I went from that to the original Xbox after I was introduced to Halo. That’s when it really took a hold of me.
I played non-stop some days – even during the school year. It really affected my grades.
This was before parents could go online and see a detailed report of their child’s schoolwork so when I told them my homework was done, they had to believe me. I never failed a grade, but I certainly didn’t live up to my potential. I always passed with C’s or D’s.
In 2004, Xbox Live was introduced, and I could finally compare my skills to other people around the world. I loved it, and I thought about it constantly.
I craved it.
It even took precedence over football, which was my main focus at the time. I was offered scholarships from major Division-1 schools.
But I couldn’t escape video games. I couldn’t leave my house for more than a day. When I went on family vacations the Xbox came with me.
It took a divorce to make me stop gaming. I didn’t really take notice until I enlisted in the military, and my thinking was “if I’m forced to do something, then the issue will take care of itself.”
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
After two months, I was deemed “unfit for service” in the Army. My addiction ruined any chance of a successful military career.
After getting home, a short time after, I met my now current ex-wife. If you couldn’t already tell, we ended up in divorce.
We had a child, a house, and everything seemed to be looking up. I did this all while gaming in my spare time. However, gaming was always my number one priority. Over my wife, my child, and the countless jobs I had squandered away.
The divorce was mainly due to my video game addiction. I was neglectful. To her and my son. This is when I finally said, “enough is enough.”
Breaking Away from Video Games
After the separation, I decided to do three months of “no gaming detox”.
With help from friends and family I sold about $20k worth of video games and separated myself from technology completely. I didn’t even use my smartphone during this time. Friends had to fill out my job applications on their own computers
I bought a house. A new car. I even restored my relationship with my son. My ex-wife and I are now some of the best co-parents you’ll ever see. I even felt comfortable enough to buy an Xbox again.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Are you crazy? You’re going to fall off the wagon!!”
Those 90 days did wonders for me. 90 days turned into 180 days. 180 into 245. I picked up a controller for the first time in April and…
It just didn’t feel the same.
I didn’t have the competitive drive I once had. I didn’t feel like I had anything to prove. It didn’t feel like an escape. I enjoyed it for what it was for about 30 minutes. I sat the controller down and went outside to join up with some friends to play basketball.
My life is finally back under control.
Sure, every day is a struggle. And the temptation will always be there. But I won’t let it take control of my life again. It’s meant to be a hobby and enjoyed in small segments. That’s all it’s going to be for me.
Sure, I might play once a week. But I have found that it’s much more rewarding to be an outstanding father, to have a career, and to have a meaningful relationship with someone.
To live a real life.
It’s Possible to Make Real Change
Gaming addiction is real and it won’t go away until you decide to take control.
You have the power to do it.
Here’s how my life has changed since I quit:
I own one Xbox, and I use it mainly for Netflix.
I’m an Engineer for a building supply company.
I own my own house and brand new car.
I have my son every other day, and he loves to spend time with me.
My ex-wife is proud of my accomplishments.
I even have a girlfriend who’s supportive and understands my daily struggle.
Life is so much bigger and more rewarding than what any game can offer you. I’m living proof that you can overcome your addiction and really create a life worth living.
Thank you for reading this. I hope it helps you in some way.
Need help?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
Welcome to our guide on How to Quit Gaming in College. Use the table of contents or continue reading…
On college campuses around the world, millions of students are being impacted by a silent phenomenon: Problematic gaming.
Student affairs departments are under more strain than ever before and technology has become a central part of the student learning experience.
It’s no wonder then that with this increased reliance on technology, many people have turned a blind eye to the negative consequences beginning to arise.
But, what if you’re one of these students?
You know that you’re spending too much time in front of a screen, and you want to make real, actionable, change. But, you have no idea how.
Do any of these sound familiar?
You don’t have as great a social life as you’d like, and you’ve been suffering from depression or anxiety
You’ve stayed up late playing video games because you were procrastinating or just wanted to escape real life
You’ve halfheartedly attempted to complete your work the night before but knew you could do better
After a spur of motivation, you vow not to stay up late again, and try to reset your sleep schedule with an all-nighter
It works! But a few days later you’re back to your old routines
Let’s face it, if you’re in this position it’s not easy to escape from. Either you have all the knowledge but lack the discipline to make it work, or you are disciplined, but you have no idea where to start.
Fortunately, this article exists. Don’t just read it and expect your life to change, though. You have to go all in. You have to commit to making your life better.
Before we get started, I wanted to remind you that this isn’t go to be easy. There are going to be times where you want to give up. Times where you want to do nothing else but go back to your old routines.
This isn’t a sprint. You can’t do 30 days of hard work and expect everything to be perfect.
This is a journey.
Don’t let this put you off, though. Myself, and thousands of others, are proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My College Gaming Addiction Story
I’m James. I played my first video game when I was 4 years old. Super Mario 64 to be precise.
Initially, gaming was a family treat. Once a week we’d get a console out, either the Nintendo 64 or SEGA Megadrive, and play for a few hours in the evening.
As time went on, and as technology became more powerful, I found myself spending much more time in front the screen.
Don’t get me wrong, I still had an incredibly active life.
Growing up in a small rural town in England ensured I had my fair share of the outdoors. I played football with my friends at the park, I rode my bike down to the shops, and I was even a part of the local Scout group.
It wasn’t until the Xbox 360 came out, and online gaming took over, that I really started to get hooked. I even had to delete my Xbox account at one point.
I still remember the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion coming out. Watching the sweeping panoramas of the introduction cutscene is a memory that still remains to this day.
Combine the immersive RPG gameplay of Oblivion with the cutting edge multiplayer of Call of Duty 4 and I was in heaven.
It wasn’t just me and my cousin trying to avoid screen cheating, I could play with anyone. Anywhere. It was incredible.
As soon as I got in from school I’d meet all of my friends and we’d waste the evening away ‘fragging noobs’ together. The next day we’d reminisce some of the epic moments that happened the night before, and come school ending, we’d repeat the process all over again.
For me, however, gaming was always something more than it was for my friends. I was great at it. I enjoyed it.
Once I got to college, I suddenly found myself inundated with responsibility. I’d never been in a position where it was solely up to me, and me alone, to get my work done, to cook, clean and do laundry. I was in over my head.
What did I do? I played video games.
I wasn’t even enjoying them at this point. They were just a means to escape from all of the problems that I’d caused. When I was inside that world these problems disappeared.
I was in control.
Nothing can harm you when you’re inside a video game. Sure, you can die or lose the game, but in reality what really happens? Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.
You simply hit respawn and you’re alive again.
The real world isn’t like that, but I never had anyone tell me. I had to find out the hard way.
Before you get too down, this story does end well… Eventually.
How Tai Lopez and His Garage Saved My Life
Yes, you read that correctly. Sometime in my second year, something changed inside me.
You might remember a certain sleazy-looking businessman standing in front of a new Lamborghini, talking about how he reads a book a day and has gained so much ‘knawledge’.
I don’t think I’d ever watched an entire YouTube ad, not least one that is 10 minutes long. But there was something about this one that made me stay. 10 minutes later and I’d been introduced into the world of entrepreneurship.
I had always had a traditional view on life. Get good grades, go to college, get a good job, buy a home, etc. After that one video I realised an entirely different path existed. One where I could be free to do what I want, where I want.
I always think of that day as the time I stopped caring out university.
I spent a lot of time blaming depression, gaming, or anxiety on me dropping out of university. In reality, however, I think I just stopped putting my heart into it. I knew I wanted something else.
It was after being made aware of the world of personal development, that I decided to look at what I could change in my life.
The first thing to go? Gaming.
I did a quick Google search on How to quit gaming in college, and up popped Game Quitters.
Everything I read in the Respawn Guide resonated with me on another level. It was as if Cam had the script to the last 6 years of my life.
I immediately started a journal on the forums, and started my journey into overcoming video game addiction.
What a journey it was.
Fast forward 4 years, and after countless times going in and out of gaming I finally managed to beat it.
During that time I’d been in deep pits of depression, I became a Twitch Streamer and #1 player in the world, I tried playing in moderation, and I even deleted all of my games.
It was an uphill battle. One that took much longer than I initially thought it would. Despite all of that, it did eventually end. I overcame my addiction, and I don’t think I’ll play video games again for the rest of my life.
Now I’m writing this article having just started a new life in Thailand. I get to travel the world, work from wherever I want, eat meals for £1 and meet amazing people.
Real-life is definitely worth fighting for.
How to Quit Playing Video Games in College Now
A quick recap:
This isn’t going to be easy, you will struggle at times.
Quitting gaming is a marathon, not a sprint.
You have to be willing to commit 100%. No half measures.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It helped me through my journey, and it will help you too.
Make sure you start today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today.
Let’s get started.
Step 1: Understand Why You Play Video Games
In our experience, we’ve found four specific reasons why we game:
Temporary escape.
Social connection.
Constant measurable growth.
Challenging.
These are all basic needs, and it’s more than possible to fulfill them all in your everyday life. However, gaming is so good at doing this already, what’s the point in doing anything else?
Let me ask you this.
Do you think you’d be happier if your only social connections are online, or if you met up regularly with friends in-person at bars, cinemas, dance classes and on hikes?
Would you be healthier if the only goals you achieved were higher levels and better equipment, or if you ran a marathon and became a black belt in jiujitsu?
Where’s a better place to escape – inside a video game or at the top of a mountain looking across endless valleys watching the golden sun settle down beneath the horizon?
There are plenty of ways to fulfill those four needs, but it’s up to you whether you choose the healthy or unhealthy ones.
Knowing why you’re so drawn to gaming in the first place is the key to being successful. Once you identify the individual needs you’re fulfilling, you can work on replacing gaming with other activities that meet those same needs.
Eventually, you won’t even enjoy gaming anymore. You’ll have created a life so extraordinary that gaming will feel boring in comparison.
Remember, you’re quitting video games because you want to. Not because anyone else wants you to. You’re in control, and you don’t need to justify this decision to anyone else.
We want to help you quit gaming in college and start living a life you can be proud of. You should wake up feeling excited. Determined. Fulfilled.
Step 2: Identify the Reasons Why You Play Video Games
You’re going to want to get hold of a pen and paper, or your favorite note-taking program. I know, we didn’t tell you there’d be homework.
We mentioned the four main reasons why people play video games in the previous section, but everyone plays for different reasons.
Maybe you’re trying to avoid a specific problem in your life, be it in college or at home.
Perhaps you’ve just had a break-up and find yourself feeling depressed.
Or maybe you just feel like a loser. Gaming is the only place where you can be who you want to be, without anyone telling you otherwise.
Action Step: Take 10 minutes to write down the specific reasons why you play.
Spend some time thinking. It’s okay to go away from this article – find some headspace, go for a walk, get a coffee at your favorite café and really think about this.
Try to be as clear as possible with your reasons. It’ll make a big difference later on.
This is an important step, albeit a small one, that will help make sure your journey to quit is as successful as it can be.
Once you’re ready, move on to the next step.
Step 3: Filling the Void – How to Find Fulfillment After You Quit
When you quit gaming in college for the first time, you’ll start to realise just how much free time you have.
We like to call this ‘the void’.
As you know, gaming fulfills certain needs. However, not only did they fulfill these needs, they also took up a lot of free time.
We’ll be going over how to set specific goals later on, but in this chapter we want to come up with some activities to fill up your free time.
These activities will have to fulfill the same needs that gaming did.
As it turns out, there are three types of activities you’ll need to successfully replace the void created by video games:
A Mentally Engaging Activity – Video games are mentally stimulating. No one can argue that. It’s the reason why 6 hours can go by in the blink of an eye. Finding a mentally engaging activity is crucial to give you something to pursue, something to improve. It enables you to see real growth and progress every single week.
An Activity for Resting – When you come in from a busy day in college or your job, what’s the first thing you do? Sit down, turn your console on, and spend the evening playing video games. You’ve done everything you need to do for the day, so why bother doing any more work than you need? Resting activities require low investment of energy; for example reading, podcasts, documentaries.
A Social Activity – Gaming has only grown to the size that it has due to the presence of online multiplayer. The social aspect of video games is taken for granted now, and it definitely wouldn’t be the same without it. Most likely, all of your friends are online. So, when you quit, you lose touch with these friends too. Human beings are social creatures, and finding activities that let you explore this further are ideal for making the journey as smooth as possible.
Action Step: Write down at least 3 activities for each type
If you’re stuck for ideas, here are some things you can do to conjure up some activities:
Use our hobby tool to find some new and interesting activities to try
Think back to what you enjoyed when you were younger; climbing, soccer, drawing etc
Your college will have dozens of clubs where you can not only discover new and interesting hobbies, but also meet like-minded people that could become great friends in the future.
Do you have anyone you look up to or admire? Celebrities, athletes, writers. Do they have any interesting hobbies that you can try out?
You can also use this strategy in the next step when we cover goal-setting, which is crucial to ensuring success. By doing this now, it’ll help to give you more direction when you start your journey later.
It’s also worth noting that you’re not going to enjoy every activity as soon as you pick it up. Gaming has desensitized you to finding enjoyment in other things, and true passion is developed over time through challenge and experience.
Don’t give up too quickly. You will regret it.
Finally, we’re going to whittle down your activities into specific situations. Here’s a great template from our Respawn program that we’ll share with you today:
To be mentally engaged my go-to activity will be:
When I’m tired my go-to activity will be:
To make more friends my go-to activity will be:
When I feel bored my go-to activity will be:
When I’m feeling stressed my go-to activity will be:
Oh, and try to come up with backups for the main types of activities. Some times you simply won’t want to do your main one, so it’s always a good to idea to have something to fall back on.
Changing Your Environment Is the Key to Your Success
You might not realise it, but the places you spend most of your time are having a profound effect on your motivation, your productivity, and your mental health.
I found it much easier to avoid gaming if I simply avoided the environments where my video games were.
Try to think of a few different environments you can go to if you start to feel a bit stuck. What situations would you go to each one?
Once you’ve brainstormed a few ideas, you’re ready to move onto the next step.
Step 4: Goal Setting: Why Do You Want to Quit Gaming in College?
The goal is to look back at these notes in 3 months time and reflect on your journey.
It’ll give you an idea of how far you’ve really come. As humans we tend to underestimate how much progress we really make.
This is your chance to determine the kind of person you want to become. You quite literally get to shape your life into whatever you want it to be.
Without a clear vision of where you’ll be in the future, you’re unlikely to succeed.
I’m a big proponent of visualisation. I often find myself imagining what it would be like to live in my dream house, the feelings I’d get when I’m lying on a tranquil beach, the feeling of waking up next to someone I truly love.
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. -William Arthur Ward
You don’t have to think too big to start with. As long as you have some concrete goals in place, you’ll be 10x better off than without them.
How to Create SMART Goals
SMART simply stands for:
Specific.
Measurable.
Attainable.
Realistic.
Time-sensitive.
It’s a common method of goal-setting that will really help you follow through on what you want to achieve.
For example, you might want to start playing the piano when you quit gaming in college.
But, having the goal to “play piano” won’t be taken as seriously as “within 3 months I will be able to play Clair de Lune by Debussy.”
See the difference?
“I want to learn Spanish” VS “I will take 2 Spanish lessons every week and pass the B1 conversational level test within 6 months”.
Use this framework to set some goals of your own. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do since you were a kid, this is the place to put it into writing.
If you have absolutely no idea what you want to do, that’s OK. Take some time off to have a think. Start small. What’s a project you could launch? What’s a new skill you’ve always wanted to learn?
Action Step: Spend some time writing down what you want to achieve after you quit gaming in college using the SMART goal formula.
This step might take the most time out of all of them. But, as we said, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
In a months time, you might even find yourself wanting to do something completely different.
All that matters is you hit the ground running. The easier you make the start of this journey for yourself, the more successful you will be.
A failure to plan is a plan to fail.
If you start without any clear directions of what to do, you’ll spend your time watching YouTube or mindlessly browsing the internet.
Now’s the time to shape your future.
Step 5: Overcoming Poor Mindsets
Did you know there are over 2.5 billion active gamers in the world?
Gaming has become so common, and the barrier to entry so low, that everywhere you go you have access to video games.
This where is where creating a greater barrier of entry, through the understanding of two specific cognitive biases, comes into play.
“Cognitive biases are tendencies to think in certain ways that can lead to systematic deviations from a standard of rationality or good judgment.”
Although there are many cognitive biases, we’re going to focus on two of them:
The sunk cost fallacy
Loss aversion
Sunk Cost Fallacy
This bias is commonly misinterpreted as the idea that you make rational decisions based on the future value of objects and investments.
In reality, your decisions are tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate. The more you invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it.
As a gamer, this is something you’ve experienced a number of times. Think about how it would feel to lose a character you’ve spent hundreds of hours working on. All the gear you’ve collected and levels completed, all gone.
Not to mention people that have an extensive library of games in their collection. PC gamers are especially guilty of this. How many steam sales and Humble Bundles have you taken part in only to never play any of the games?
Therefore, even if you want to quit, you’re worried about losing your characters, your progress, all that time invested. You can’t just give that up.
The sunk cost fallacy is incredibly powerful, but when you overcome it, you will experience a sense of freedom you’ve likely never felt before.
Loss Aversion
Loss aversion is the psychological tendency to avoid losses, instead of acquiring gains.
Instead of going out there and taking control of your life, accomplishing goals, and becoming more fulfilled, we prefer to play games that are familiar.
We’d rather avoid losing our beloved characters, than level ourselves up in the real world. Despite knowing, deep inside, that making better choices about our actions will make us happier in the long run.
Understanding these biases is key to understanding your emotional state.
You might think you’ve got the strongest willpower on the planet. But you should never underestimate the power that your emotions can have on you, especially during a detox.
You’ll find an endless number of ways to justify your actions, justifications that, in the moment, will appear completely logical. Yet when you reflect back on it you’ll wonder why in the world you acted on them so irrationally.
However, if you’re aware of what you’re doing, you can steer yourself in a direction. You can learn how to consciously affect your actions. The power to become who you want to be now lies directly in your hand.
I want you to take a deep breath, because the next step is going to take some time to process.
You’re going to delete your video games.
This is truly the defining factor as to whether you’ll be successful. I know that a lot of you will read that and stop.
You’re never going to get rid of your games, this guide is stupid, you know better blah blah blah.
Don’t be one of these people. You’re stronger than that. You’re better than that.
Remember why you’re doing this. Picture your ideal life. Truly imagine it.
Does the person in this future life play video games for 10 hours a day?
Hell no.
So now we’ve separated the wheat from the chaff, we can move onto the defining moment of your future.
It’s time to power off.
Step 6: Delete Your Games
I’m sure you’ll agree that avoiding video games will be much easier if you don’t have any video games to play, right?
Here’s a checklist of what you’re going to do by the end of this section:
Uninstall all games
Delete all of your accounts
Decide what to do with your gaming consoles
Find a way to avoid gaming-related content (YouTube, Twitch, music)
Let’s tackle them one by one.
Uninstalling your games
If you’re a Steam user, this one’s pretty simple.
Although it might be tempting to delete the steamapps folder on your computer, that can still leave game files lying about.
All you have to do is right click on each game in your library and delete local files. You can follow our guide on deleting your Steam account here.
It’s a similar process on consoles. Just go to your library, select each game and press uninstall.
Deleting your accounts:
This one takes a bit more time, as you might have quite a few accounts.
For many games we have tutorials to delete your game accounts, and for other games if you do a Google search for “X account deletion” you can usually find a guide available.
This step might have been quite difficult for you, you probably even felt the sunk cost fallacy taking effect.
Taking care of your consoles
Most people have at least one console lying around the house.
Whether it’s shared by the family and used for watching TV/movies, or you have a Wii U for those Nintendo exclusives, deciding what to do with them can be a tough choice.
Personally, I decided on locking my consoles away. I put them in a cupboard and then gave the cables to my parents to hide somewhere.
I can quite happily have the Xbox One sitting in the lounge being used as a media center. But reaching that point can take a lot of time and effort.
Some other things you can try:
Give them to someone else
Sell them (recommended)
You might be surprised at how much money you can get for them.
Avoiding game-related content
This is an incredibly important, but undervalued, step.
Imagine putting all of this effort into quitting video games, only to spend the next 90 days watching Twitch streams and highlights of eSports tournaments on YouTube.
You will never get anything productive done, all you will want to do is play games.
That’s why it’s crucial to put a block on anything that might cause you to relapse (more on relapsing later).
Our favourite ways to block websites on your browser are:
BlockSite
StayFocusd
Cold Turkey
I found it helpful to put a total block on sites like YouTube, Twitch and Reddit. Then, after a few months I allowed myself an hour a day, usually around lunch, where I’m free to watch something as long as it wasn’t gaming.
If you still want to watch YouTube, I highly recommend installing the Distraction Free YouTube extension.
That’s it. You’ve successfully powered off.
Step 7: Building New Habits and Staying Productive
Before we go any further, I want you to take a moment and congratulate yourself.
You deserve to feel proud of what you’ve done, it’s a huge step to undertake. You had the courage to make a positive change in your life.
Better yet, you did it all on your own. Sure, we provided some guidelines, but you actually followed-through and took action.
Recognising what you’ve done is an important habit to introduce to your life. It’s crucial for helping to build your confidence and self-esteem.
Both of which a lot of gamers, myself included, are lacking.
Here’s a great sentence from our Respawn program, where a lot of the ideas in this guide have come from:
Recovery begins by acknowledging that you’re closing a chapter — one where you played games — and starting a new one — where you don’t.
Most people know what they need to do, but it’s only the few who do that live truly remarkable lives. So from this point forward let’s continue to be honest with ourselves.
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Let’s have a quick recap:
You’ve learnt the exact reasons why you play video games
You have a better understanding behind why you get addicted
You’ve created some kick-ass SMART goals to really give yourself direction
Came up with some hobbies and activities you want to try out
Deleted all of your accounts and games, and removed distractions from your life
I don’t know about you but to me, those don’t sound like things a ‘useless’ lazy gamer could. Right?
You’re a damn superhero. You’ve taken your powerful video game character and brought it into the real world. Except it’s not a character, it’s you. You’re the one that’s in charge now.
Let’s take this motivation, this urgency, and this longing to be better and start really taking steps to transforming your life.
The first item on the list – Habits.
How to Build Habits the Right Way
Will Durant, a famous historian and philosopher, once said:
We are are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
It might take some time to internalise, but you need to realise wherever you are in your life right now, is the result of every decision and habit you’ve acted on throughout your life.
There are some situations that are quite clearly out of your control, but you always have a choice to make.
None of these decisions are unimportant. Every single one is either a positive or a negative. With each decision you make, you’re building up or breaking down your character.
So how can you begin making the right decisions? It all starts with your habits.
Have a quick think. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Do you pick up your phone and check your e-mails, or do you get up, grab some water, and go for a run?
The problem with habits is that you don’t realise you’re doing them. But what exactly causes us to build these routines?
This won’t make much sense at first, but let’s use our previous example of waking up.
In this case, the trigger might be your alarm going off and you picking up your phone to silence it.
When you pick up your phone to silence it, you see that you’ve got some notifications so you decide to unlock your phone and read them.
Finally, the reward in this scenario is that you get to catch up on everything you might have missed after you went to sleep. Memes in your group chats, a new video from your favourite creator, whatever it might be.
Before you know, it 60 minutes has gone and now you have to rush to get ready for your lectures. You might skip showering, choose an unhealthy breakfast, or forget something important.
Now let’s look at it a bit differently.
Your alarm goes off, like normal, but instead of checking your notifications you put your phone back down, get out of bed, slip on your exercise gear, and go for a 20 minute run.
Imagine how much more alert and focused you’d feel in your classes if you did this every day.
I reckon you’d see your grades, health, and relationships improve within 6 weeks, no questions asked, just by replacing 1 or 2 of your habits.
Action Step: Spend 10 minutes writing down your current habits
What do you do when you wake up? What about before bed? Do you automatically watch a YouTube video when you sit down to eat? What do you do the moment you get back to your room after college?
Once you’ve done this, try to go through the habit loop with each one. What are your triggers, your actions, and your rewards?
Done? Great.
Now we can go about creating some awesome new habits.
How to Replace Old Habits With New Ones
As empowered as you might be feeling, we’re not actually going to do too much at this point. You see, if you try and do too much at once, after a week or two you’re almost guaranteed to fail.
The key to building habits is to take them one at a time, and build them up slowly. If you managed to create a new habit every 60 days, imagine where you’ll be in 10 years time.
Remember what we said earlier?
This is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s better to take it slow, than to burn yourself up in a month and get angry because you think the process doesn’t work.
I’m here to tell you that the steps outlined in this article 100% work. I’m living proof of that. But ONLY if you take it slow. Grow over time, and don’t try to take on too much at once.
You might be a real life superhero but that doesn’t mean you’re invincible.
Action Step: Create one habit that you want to introduce into your life
It could be as simple as:
When I wake up I will drink two glasses of water.
or
I will read at least 5 pages every night before I go to sleep.
The key here is to make them simple enough that you can do them every single day.
Once you’ve decided on your habit, set an alarm or a reminder either on your phone or on a sticky note attached somewhere you’ll see it every day.
Another great thing to do is get a calendar with those big square boxes, and every time you successfully complete a habit, put a big X in today’s date.
Eventually, you’ll have a long and (hopefully) unbroken chain made up of X’s. You’d be amazed at what kind of psychological effect seeing that chain grow every day has on your ability to maintain a habit.
After you’ve successfully completed one habit for 60 days, you can either choose to chain it with another habit, or create a new one.
For example: If you decide to chain – “when I wake up I will drink 2 glasses of water and do 10 pushups” or if you choose to create a new one – “Once I brush my teeth, I will floss at least one tooth.”
Floss one tooth, I know what you’re thinking. That’s so ridiculously easy. It’s not easy if you’re going from 0 – 1 overnight.
The likely situation is that you floss one tooth, and then decide to floss the rest of them. The important thing is to initiate the habit. Eventually you’ll floss every night without fail.
And it all started with one tooth.
I know what you’re saying as you read this…
“But James, whenever I’ve tried to make habits in the past I couldn’t stick to them… I just don’t have any willpower.”
You’re not alone. I used to think I had the smallest reserve of willpower that’d ever existed in the history of humanity.
It may not have been the smallest on record, but it was pretty close.
Willpower is a skill that can be learned. It’s a muscle that can be trained.
The only reason why you don’t think you have any is because of one of two reasons:
You didn’t try hard enough and failed to hold yourself accountable
You tried to take on too much at once and burnt out
Why am I placing so much emphasis on habit forming?
When you quit gaming in college you’ll find yourself feel urges to play far stronger than you could imagine. It’s as if you’re being physically pulled back to the games.
When you find yourself in a position like that, all you have left to fall back on is your mindset, willpower, and your habits. As long as you have some constant in your everyday life, you can take this journey one day at a time.
Heck, even just one hour at a time. If you can build a solid foundation now, you’ll never fail again.
I won’t go into anymore detail on habits here, you’ve got enough to take you to where you need to be.
A good book to read on developing habits is Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Your Life is In Your Hands
There we have it. Your ultimate guide on how to quit gaming in college.
You’ve taken the first steps that few others dared to take. In years to come you’ll look back on this moment as the day your life changed forever.
Your days of being a ‘gamer’ are over. You’re not going to settle for anything less than greatness, and you’re never going to back down from a challenge.
You’ve done the hardest part, but what happens from here is entirely up to you.
A big part of quitting gaming is learning how to effectively deal with relapses. They happen to everyone.
I think during the last 5 years of my journey I’ve relapsed in and out of gaming a dozen times.
It’s all a part of the process. Just remember, there will be tough days and there will be easy days.
There will be days where you’re practically unable to get out of bed, and days where you’ll be bursting with energy.
All you can is to trust in what you’ve learned. Maintain good habits, focus on building awareness of your situation, and eventually the good days will start to outweigh the bad.
Think of it like a wave. Try not to get too attached to how you’re feeling in the moment, just try to be present and aware of what’s happening.
Let the emotions come and go. They’re an experience to learn from.
If you feel trapped or stuck, come and read through this guide again.
Post on our forums and ask for advice. There’s a huge community of people that are willing to support you, no matter what the problem might be.
Check out some of the stories of ex-gamers and learn to understand what’s truly possible if you put your mind to it.
This is your time. Real life is worth fighting for.
Want Additional Support to Quit Gaming in College?
Respawn is a step-by-step program to help you quit gaming and get your life back on track. It contains the latest scientific research and best practices.
Insanely Practical: No fluff. This guide is for action takers.
Module 1: Learn the fundamentals of quitting video games
Module 2: Breakthrough the psychology that keeps you gaming
Module 3: Build a new identity in the real world
Module 4: Avoid boredom by finding new activities and passions
Module 5: Stop wasting time on the internet and finally be productive
Module 6: Increase your energy and improve your mood
Module 7: Finally feel confident and proud of who you are
Module 8: Defeat relapse and other common mistakes
Bonus: Make new friends and avoid loneliness
Bonus: Worksheets, priority email support, community, and so much more.
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PewDiePie’s net worth is currently estimated to be: $30,000,000.
Back in the day, PewDiePie was simply known as ‘that Swedish guy who screams at horror games’. Fast forward to 2019 and who would have guessed a random YouTuber playing Amnesia in their room would turn into one of the most widely recognized sensations on the internet.
With almost 100,000,000 YouTube subscribers, PewDiePie has no doubt seen his fair share of controversies. However, type ‘PewDiePie’ into Google and the first term that comes up is related to his net worth.
Why are people so obsessed with how much money it is? Unfortunately, we haven’t got an answer for you here. What we can tell you is how he makes his money, and a bit about his rise to fame from hot dog salesman to internet stardom.
Who Is PewDiePie?
PewDiePie, real name Felix Kjellberg, was born on 24th October 1989, in Gothenburg, Sweden. He had always been a keen gamer and had a deep interest in art from an early age.
After graduating high school he went on to study industrial economics. But, not long after starting, Felix felt that he didn’t belong there and made the decision to drop out. He wanted to focus on what made him happy and at the time that meant recording himself playing video games and uploading his videos to YouTube.
He managed to get by initially by selling art he’d created on Photoshop and even worked at a hot dog stand to make some extra money. Despite that, he has said in the past that the start was definitely a difficult time for him. However, I doubt he has any regrets about sticking with it through to the end!
Unbelievably, just over a year after dropping out he gained his first million subscribers in July 2012. Something that seems almost impossible in today’s world.
His popularity increased rapidly from that point onwards, becoming the most talked-about internet personality around the world. You couldn’t mention YouTube in school without hearing the name PewDiePie, and it seemed like everyone you spoke to was subscribed to him at some point.
How He Makes His Money
It’s probably not that surprising that bringing in YouTube views can bring in a hefty income alone.
Since starting his channel Felix has amassed more than 22 billion views across his entire channel and pulls in over 420 million views each month.
These views alone are responsible for the majority of his income, pulling in estimated monthly earnings of $500,000 per month or $6,000,000 per year. That’s definitely not chump change by any means.
However, on top of his crazy viewership numbers, there’s no doubt he also receives money for sponsorships. PewDiePie doesn’t have a reputation for selling out in every video, but he does do paid promotion at times. It’s impossible to know how much you’d have to pay him to promote a product, but I’d wager it’s a small fortune.
YouTube isn’t the only platform content creators like PewDiePie are earning millions on though, and many streamers use Twitch as a YouTube alternative.
PewDiePie’s Net worth
It’s fair to say $30,000,000 is a fair estimate of PewDiePie’s net worth, taking into account the amount of money he has earned, as well as the cost of gaining YouTube numbers of this magnitude. In comparison, Joe Rogan, a former gamer himsef, has a networth estimated to be $120 million.
Are his earnings more or less than you thought? Whatever the true number is, it’s a lot. Amazingly, Felix isn’t the highest-earning YouTuber. That title goes to Ryan ToysReview, a 7-year-old kid that reviews toys for parents.
Crazy, I know.
It goes to show the opportunities out there for people to make money in the modern age.
We have teenagers becoming multi-millionaires overnight playing Fortnite and kids earning tens of millions making YouTube videos.
The idea of becoming famous on the internet, whether it’s on YouTube or as an influencer, has soared to a new level of popularity in recent years.
A recent report from Morning Consult titled “The Influencer Report: Engaging Gen Z and Millennials” has brought out some pretty shocking figures. TikTok has also been on the rise.
For instance, PewDiePie has the same name recognition as Lebron James, with 95% of Gen Z men saying they knew who he was. Not only that, but PewDiePie even topped out the list of the most-liked celebrity on the list with 62% favourability. Joe Rogan meanwhile,
If you’ve ever dreamed of having more in your life; be it money, happiness, or friendships, but you’re stuck in the virtual world, you should consider taking a 90-day no-gaming detox.
Thanks for reading the article, and don’t forget to check us out on social media everywhere!
Last week, Kyle Giersdorf AKA Bugha won a record-breaking $3 million in the Fortnite World Cup.
Imagine being 16 years old, and in the blink of an eye you’re the most talked about teenager in the world – oh and you’re also a multi-millionaire.
It wasn’t without its issues, as Kyle’s parents have stated they tried to take his games away from him because he was playing too much. Sounds like a familiar story, right?
Now, how many kids out there are going to be telling their parents that they want to become the next Fortnite world champion? How many are going to use it as an excuse to justify their excessive gaming?
Esports undoubtedly has its positives, and at Game Quitters we’re not against it at all. However, there is definitely an ugly side to the sport.
Fortnite World Cup Recap:
The Good
As the global eSports market breaks through the $1 billion revenue mark, it’s clear that there’s a huge amount of support for the industry. Up by 27% from last year, there’s no doubt that it’s a market on the rise.
With this increase in popularity comes a range of benefits for gamers all around the world:
Gaming is a viable career option. Whether you want to become a competitive player, a commentator, a coach, or even work behind the scenes on marketing or lighting. There are loads of opportunities for you out there.
Traditional sports have always been an option for people who want to go to college, and now gamers can join in too. Esports scholarships are becoming widespread throughout universities all over the world.
More awareness will lead to more support for people pursuing this kind of lifestyle. A greater emphasis will be put on the health and wellbeing of the players, and we can eventually move away from the idea that you have to spend 16 hours a day playing video games to become the best. Regardless of the mental and physical health problems that this lifestyle might entail.
Esports is the perfect setting to spread these messages that you can do whatever you want in your life and achieve your dreams while maintaining a healthy lifestyle and most importantly – have a backup plan.
The Bad
Without a doubt, the number one concern that has popped up since the Fortnite World Cup has been about excessive gaming.
Fortunately, Bugha was one of the few people able to balance gaming and school. He managed to achieve good grades while still becoming the best Fortnite player in the world.
But, for the majority of kids, something like that is impossible. It certainly was for me back in school.
This is where the bad side of the Fortnite World Cup comes into play.
More children are using this $3 million prize as a justification for their excessive gaming habits. Which wouldn’t be a problem if you were guaranteed to earn millions.
However, the chance of becoming an eSports pro is much lower than any other ‘traditional’ sport. Not only that, but the average age of the players in the Fortnite World Cup was 14. This might seem shockingly low, but when you consider the age of retirement in competitive gaming is 22, it makes much more sense.
This is where we move away from the individual players, and instead look towards the industry.
Epic Games, the creators of Fortnite, have made over $4 billion from the game already. Therefore, it makes sense that they can offer $30 million dollars for the biggest eSports tournament of all time.
However, they also stated that they don’t do any research on the potential harms of the games. Epic are happy to promote their game to millions of people around the world and hold huge events, but they can’t spare any resources to help the minority that truly struggles with gaming.
It’s been stated time and time again that the industry should take more responsibility for the well-being of their players. It would be a drop in a bucket for these companies to invest in research and provide helpful services to those in need.
This is the story of how I stopped being addicted to Neopets.
After some 10 years, 10,000 hours, and millions of points won in various online games, I finally accomplished my dream of becoming an elite gamer…
Okay, I wasn’t an “elite” gamer. But I did make it to 100 gold trophies on Neopets.
In the end, all my trophies were gold, with not a single silver or bronze. I’d set my sights on this target for so long — and I was proud of how I reached it.
Gaming Was My Escape
Explaining why I gamed is hard to do without spilling some of my most personal details. But, I’ll do my best.
First, I’m transgender – male-to-female. I was born as a boy and wanted to be a girl.
If life wasn’t difficult enough, it became much trickier in middle school. Then there was the impending doom of male puberty… I wanted to escape my body.
Then, there was the teasing at school… “that’s so gay” reverberating in my head like a corny pop song lyric. In games, I could escape that judgment too.
It soon became obvious how un-alone I was. Browsing the forum and beautiful stories at Game Quitters, it was clear how much I had in common with other ex-gamers.
So many people feel like they can’t be who they want to be for all kinds of reasons. In games, we get to choose our own character and it can feel like a miracle.
As Cam talks about, we all want a meaningful challenge. That’s another reason why I gamed.
If the 26-year-old me could mentor my preteen self, she would have gotten lots of words of reassurance… along with a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People, and about eight dozen other books!
Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to turn my passion into a meaningful challenge. I felt alienated from society, ready to plunge head-first into a fantasy.
I Was At Home Inside the Game
Despite playing a variety of online games, Neopets was the only one where I really found a home. The place was populated with cute creatures and their stories, and a wide assortment of games and activities to never get bored.
Each player on the site had a page with their stats and accomplishments. I was struck by the shimmering stacks of trophies that adorned other users’ pages, and soon was hooked on winning them myself!
It was kind of like being in school, where we vied for A grades (now, trophies), only the atmosphere here was more playful. Plus, participation was optional; you could play whatever you wanted! In that way, Neopets felt familiar, yet new and self-empowering.
Amid being addicted to Neopets or any game, sometimes it’s hard to say if you’re happy or sad. You’re flooded with euphoria the moment you hop back on the computer. You’re ecstatic over every in-game escalation. But at the end of the night, you can’t shake the feeling that this techno-bliss rests on a real, physical world – where the evidence says you’re not thriving.
Overcoming My Neopets Addiction
Comparing myself through the years, I could see that gaming hurt me socially, mentally, and physically. It weakened my patience for dealing with life’s imperfections. The sheer time-suck prevented me advancing towards my real life dreams.
Dreams like solving the confusing enigma called gender. Of one day having a joyful relationship. And the dream to help humans be more compassionate towards animals.
I realized at age 11 that I didn’t want to eat animals anymore after learning about factory farming, and about what is involved in bringing animal products to the table.
I wish I could have devoted my energy to promoting a plant-based diet – but gaming always got in the way.
Another thing I realized is that some dreams are already right there in front of you… like having a family. Family can be tough, but being lost in a game world made it tougher. My mom was dying of cancer, and I wish I had supported her and my other family members more.
Those bigger dreams take thoughtfulness and concentration. I knew that if my gaming addiction persisted, the years of little progress would keep rolling by.
As my depressed teen years turned to a better early adulthood, I managed to quit gaming completely several time.
I also tried to game just one hour per day or one day per month, but the intrusive thoughts were just too much!
So I recommitted to not gaming and I’ve been free since the spring of 2017. Over two years!
Turning My Dreams Into Reality
Spring 2017 was also when I got my first paid job related to protecting farm animals. I’ve stayed in the movement and kept finding work ever since.
Meaningful challenge – complete!
Currently, I work part-time for a plant-based meat company that you may have been hearing about in the news. It’s exciting because it helps people who want to eat less meat, but still want that awesome taste!
Meanwhile, I live as a woman in a very LGBT-friendly area. When you’re transgender, I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to walk around and have people see you as the gender you feel you are. Times have changed and I’ve gotten acceptance from my family too.
I’ve lived a very lucky life, and count my Neopets experiences as a part of that. Still, there’s no denying the losses I’ve incurred, by so much gaming during those formative years.
Finances got off to a rocky start, and I’m in debt. My knees are in bad shape, exacerbated by a sedentary lifestyle and poor physical alignment. My passions for tennis and for writing fizzled out. It’s just generally disappointing to feel I didn’t give things my all and wasn’t fully “there” to experience them.
Fortunately, the success that I enjoyed on Neopets gives clues, clues about how I can live the rest of my life to the fullest.
Whenever I get nostalgic now, I ask myself what I’m missing from the game. How can I create a real-world version of it?
Gold trophies were an effective motivator of my behaviour (mastering the games). They were visual, memorable, and beautiful to look at. Most of all they were public. We could watch each other gain trophies, spurring on some friendly competition.
I now have a printed list of my goals and commitments, kept in a (fittingly) golden folder. It’s inviting to pick up and glance at multiple times a day, keeping me focused on what matters.
I try not to overthink these lists, but do update them regularly as the vision for my life evolves.
Making friends with trophy collectors in the game was something I loved. Thus in real life, I pursue friendships that are centered around a shared goal. They keep me accountable, and it’s friendly competition.
On Neopets I learned ways to cheat and won with unscrupulous techniques. I eventually froze my account out of guilt and started clean with a new one.
On my last (and most successful) account, I was proud that I gamed honestly. I learned that it’s not worth it to taint a good thing with even minor disloyalty. Living truthfully has many obstacles, but it’s an amazing feeling and one we all deserve to have as much as possible.
If I catch myself “cheating” in real life I remember how I redeemed myself in the game and know that it’s never too late to correct a bad habit, make amends, and choose a more authentic path.
My message is this: Be your own real-life hero. Take on the real world’s juiciest challenges with integrity. Your long-term happiness – and the other beings you help along the way – will thank you.
Need help?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
I stopped enjoying gaming after I quit watching porn.
Hi, my name is Hayim and I’m going to tell you how I quit video games without even trying.
Like many other guys, my teenage years were filled with too many video games, porn and shitty habits.
I would spend countless hours in the basement with my Playstation 2 from the moment I got out of school until bedtime when my mother would coerce me out of the basement.
Joining the Army
When I was 18 I joined the Israeli Army in a combat unit. It was tough as hell and basically a constant state of exhaustion for years.
Even in the army whenever my buddies and I would get off for a weekend we would head home and play Battlefield 3. We were soldiers playing army games on the weekends.
Sounds funny I know.
We would spend the whole week in the field training for war and on the weekends we would get home, make some food and try to level up on Battlefield 3.
We’d resort to gaming because video games distracted us from the thought of having to return to base after a few days, and all the exhaustion that comes with it.
Long marches, sleepless nights, and the occasional action.
Gaming is Fun, But…
Video games are powerful, and I know why many of us play. I’m not going to go on and tell you how lame they are and why they’re ruining your life.
What I’m going to tell you now is going to help you quit because you won’t even enjoy the games anymore. Discipline alone is a tough way to attack any problem.
It’s a lot more effective when you attack the root of the issue, and that’s what I accidentally discovered.
Instead of putting the focus on quitting to play video games, we should instead focus on the question: Why do we enjoy video games so goddamn much?
Let me explain.
A few years after the army I started studying engineering. But after classes I would still play games up to three hours per day.
It may not seem like a lot but that’s three hours that I was not studying, in class, or sleeping.
The other thing that was holding me back might surprise some people, but in hindsight it was incredibly obvious.
Link Between Gaming and Porn
I used to watch porn, and porn and gaming are inextricably linked.
In Philip Zambardo’s TED talk The Demise of Guys he conflates video game pleasure with porn pleasure – Referring to them as Present Hedonism. Present hedonistic people live in the moment – seeking pleasure, novelty, and sensation, and avoiding pain. Philip Zambardo knows his stuff, he was the leader of the notorious Stanford Prison Experiment.
Video game addictions thrive upon a similar reward system that is very different from substance addiction but very similar to pornography.
The similarities between porn and gaming don’t end there. With the rise of high speed internet they’ve both earned their own disease classifications in the ICD-11.
The ICD is the International Classification of Diseases and was created by the World Health Organization (WHO).
Both of these issues have had a notable uptick with the advent of high speed internet that allowed for extremely immersive media.
Digital Addictions
Digital addictions differ from that of substance addictions like drugs and alcohol in one very simple way.
When you’re enjoying a digital form of entertainment we seek different types of pleasure from that same source.
Our pleasure comes from something new and unique. That is why multiplayer gaming has caught on so much, with every match you have a totally new experience thereby creating variety and wanting different experiences with every round.
The same goes for pornography. When someone browses through online pornography, they’re constantly looking for new variety with every video. No one sticks to the same type of porn for long periods of time, they’re constantly changing it up.
Substance addicts just want more. They just need more alcohol, more drugs, more.. Whatever.
If you focus on quitting porn, your brain will start to enjoy life more and you won’t require the dopamine that can only be provided by the novelty of video games.
Porn addiction is massively understated in society. Most men have been watching it from as soon as they became old enough to search for it on the web and many go on into their 30s and 40s without ever noticing how dependent they are.
The core reason porn leads to increased video game pleasure is because porn messes up our dopamine reward systems.
We get so used to massive dopamine rushes when watching porn that very little else can compare to it. But video games? That dopamine hit that we get when we headshot that guy with a pistol at 50 yards on Metro?
That can compare.
I Quit Porn (And Gaming)
I quit watching porn in February 2015 and within 6 weeks I went from playing three hours a day, to thirty minutes, to deleting my computer games within months.
I wasn’t even trying. I simply lost interest in them.
I accidentally discovered that video games were only enjoyable for me when I would watch porn.
As soon as I stopped watching porn my dopamine reward system didn’t need video games to enjoy things anymore.
I started to enjoy reading, meditating, working out, and doing more.. “mediocre” things.
I started a daily meditation practice that I keep to this day, and I’ve gained “superpowers” of confidence, posture, vocal tonality.
It’s been over four years and I still don’t own or play any video games or watch porn. In fact, I’ve decided to try to help as many men as possible and recently started a website dedicated to helping guys diagnose their potential addiction to porn.
I’ve turned my life around and so can you.
If you’re going to turn around your video game habit, take a look at your porn habits first.
This wouldn’t usually be a problem for an 18+ game except it’s pretty clear, if you spend any amount of time on the game, that it’s inhabited my children. Similar to dangerous apps, video games can also be dangerous when they include activities like gambling.
I don’t think I need to tell you that introducing kids to gambling is a bad idea. But if you had any doubts, a ton of research has been done on the subject.
Here’s a quick summary of some of the studies done on simulated gambling and young people:
1. Simulated gambling leads to real-life gambling
2. Simulated gambling normalizes gambling behavior
3. Simulated gambling increases your risk of problematic gaming or gambling
Hungry for more? Here are some great studies to read.
However, due to outdated gambling laws this casino doesn’t technically count as gambling. Simply because you can’t earn real money.
You heard that right.
That’s the loophole of dated gambling laws gaming companies are exploiting for the purpose of skyrocketing profits.
By allowing you to purchase in-game currency with real money, but not allowing you to withdraw your earnings back into the real world, they give you a simulated gambling experience and profit off of your compulsion.
The House really does win every time.
For some people GTA Online is a big problem, for others it can be a game as simple as Neopets or watching anime. Whatever game you struggle with, reach out for help, you’re not alone.
Welcome to our guide on how to play video games in moderation. Continue reading or use the table of contents.
Life is too short, you should do things you enjoy, right? For me, that meant blowing off my work, and completely wrecking my sleep schedule. Why?
All because I wanted to play one more game, climb one more rank, waste one more hour.
The thing is, gaming is fun.
It’s a way to escape stress in your life, however, at some point you need to ask yourself… “Is this really worth it?”
After coming close to losing my job, I tried to find something, anything, to stop my compulsive impulse to close my work, and open up League Of Legends.
Believe it or not, being addicted to gaming is a real issue. The World Health Organization officially declared gaming addiction as a mental disorder in 2019.
Through this article, I want to share some of my tips to help others find the time to focus on more important things in life – such as your job, your family, and making new memories – while still playing some games on the side.
What Is Gaming Addiction?
The first thing to do is see if you’re actually addicted to gaming, right? I mean, an hour of gaming a day is far from addicted.
To give you some insight into my addiction, I used to play games for 15 hours a day, on top of my full-time job. How I managed that I have no idea. Just imagine if I spent that time on something productive!
Some common signs that you or a loved one is addicted to gaming include:
Compulsive/Obsessive Behaviour – As with most addictions, when you aren’t playing games, you may start seeing some red flags such as restlessness, irritability, and aggressive behavior.
Lack of sleep/signs of exhaustion – If you are addicted to gaming, you’ll know exactly how this plays out. It’s 12 in the morning when you see your cyber-friend from another country come online. So, instead of getting a good nights sleep, you decide to pull an all-night with them. Who cares if you have work or school in the morning, right?
Lack Of Interest In Other Activities – I struggled with this one first-hand. Working for myself, I always wanted to develop new skills. Be it programming or learning how to improve at my job. But, for some reason – I could never find the time. The problem was, whenever I was doing non-essential work, all I wanted to do was load up my favourite game and play until the early hours of the morning.
Now that we have a general idea of what it looks like to be a gaming addict, it’s time for you to figure out a strategy to help you break the cycle.
It’s time to focus on the things that really matter to you and take back your life.
I’ve tried all of the strategies and advanced tactics to quit gaming. The problem is, you will never stop something unless you want it. Which means having the desire and willpower to stick to it.
Also, just like any other addiction, don’t expect to go cold turkey from day one.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t try cold turkey, a lot of our members have found great success with it. However, that strategy might not be for everyone, which is why it’s best to experiment and see what works for you.
Just remember to take it slow, make sure each day gets progressively better, and you can’t fail.
Step One: Identify What You Are Losing By Playing Games
Until we take a step back, it’s difficult to see what’s being taken away from our lives when we’re gaming. Think about it, is your girlfriend always complaining that you are never talking to them? What about work, do you blow important tasks that could lead to a raise just so you can play an hour or ten of games?
Life really is short. The only difference between the rich and the poor is how we capitalize on each hour, minute, and second. I want you to put thought into what beneficial activities could replace the hours you spend on games, and where those activities could take you in life.
Step Two: Think of Something You Really Want to Work Towards
Are you tired of struggling financially? Do you want that new car, perhaps even your first car? Or are you trying to study a new programming language to help you land that huge promotion at work?
Guess what…
All of these things require time. The time that is being taken up by all those hours in front of your console or computer. That’s why in this step, I want you to think about that one goal in life that you really want, and start working for it. Make a timeline of when you want to achieve that goal and a strategy of how you plan to go about it.
Try picturing your life after completing that goal. From there, try working backwards to where you are now and reverse engineer that life you’re dreaming about. Break it up into small, manageable steps and you might realise you’re closer to achieving it than you think.
Step Three: Schedule Your Day For Balance
As fun as it is to play games all night, it really messes with you more than you know.
Did you know that no matter how long you sleep for, you can only recover one hour of sleep a night?
That means if you pull one all-nighter and lose 8 hours of sleep, for the next week you will be unable to work efficiently on your goals. That means you are putting your work at risk, your exams at risk, and even your relationships.
I would delete my games completely each Monday, and reinstall them on Friday evening for a weekend gaming session. This way they did not interfere with my work, which led to me being where I am today.
Find what works for you. It does not have to be perfect, and there will be slip-ups, but even cutting down 2-hours a day will put you so much further ahead in life than where you are at right now.
And if you are unable to play video games in moderation, you may want to try a complete 90-day detox instead.
Welcome to our step-by-step guide on how to delete your Facebook account. Continue reading or find a table of contents to your right:
2.4 billion. That’s how many people log on to Facebook every single month.
Facebook has cemented itself as the biggest social media platform, and possibly the most popular website, that has ever existed.
They churn through 4 million gigabytes of data every day and have a comprehensive record of every user on the site.
It wouldn’t be a bad thing if they were using this data without any issues. But I’m sure you know that’s not the case.
Facebook controls what you see, what you buy, what you feel, and what you enjoy.
There’s a lot of money in data, and Facebook is doing their utmost to profit as much as possible.
It’s no wonder, then, that more and more people (including you) are wondering how to delete your Facebook account.
Fortunately, we’ve made this article as simple as possible for you to follow, including details further down on the differences between deleting and deactivating.
Before you know it you’ll be free of Zuckerberg’s shackles, and can start living a life where you’re in charge.
Let’s get started.
How to Delete Your Facebook Account
This might be the simplest guide I’ve ever written.
Facebook has made it surprisingly easy to delete your account – as you’d usually expect to be jumping through hoops to get there.
Step 1
Follow this link to get to the account deletion page. From there click on “delete account” at the bottom.
If you want, you can download all of the information Facebook holds about you just for safekeeping. Be warned, it can be an extremely large download and might take a long time if you have slow internet.
Step 2
Simply verify your account by entering your password, and then click continue.
I told you this was simple.
Step 3
Finally, there’s one final confirmation box where you just have to press delete account and that’s it.
All Done!
Once you take that final step towards freedom you’ll get a popup telling you it’ll be deleted in 30 days, and that’s all there is to it.
You can now spend the rest of the month doing something productive. Like scrolling endlessly through Instagram…
Why Should You Delete Facebook
Now, you might be reading this and thinking that you don’t have a problem with Facebook, so why should you bother deleting your account?
There are a few reasons that I want to go through that might give you a different perspective on your Facebook account.
You don’t even have to delete it, just try and stay away from it for a couple of weeks and see how things in your life change.
You might be surprised.
Reason #1: You’re Spending Too Much Time on Facebook
Even if you don’t think it’s the case, you’re probably spending more time on the platform than you realise.
A few minutes can quickly turn into an hour as you’re recommended more videos and memes to keep you hooked. All of a sudden you’ve spent your entire morning or evening on your phone.
Are you the kind of person that wakes up and immediately checks your Facebook account?
Imagine how different your morning would be if you decided to spend that time exercising, meditating or doing yoga.
How many times do you find yourself rushing to get ready for work just because you’ve been on your phone?
Think about how much more pleasant your day at work would be if you got started on the right foot.
Reason #2: Facebook Has Total Control Over You
You might not know it but Facebook is controlling everything you’re seeing.
They control which news stories you see and which adverts you’re exposed to. They wrap you in this viewpoint of the world that is much different than it is in reality.
If you spend just a couple of hours every day scrolling Facebook, you’re much less likely to see the world in a positive light.
The world is dying, politicians are corrupt, people are evil and we’re all going to hell.
Sure, some of those might be true.
But if you’re exposing yourself to it every minute of the day it’s going to completely shift your mindset.
You’re not going to see any of the good that exists in the world – and there’s a lot of good to see.
No one wants to be a negative person. But, when you and your friends are all seeing and feeling the same things, it can’t be avoided.
You have to think about what kind of person you want to be.
Is spending hours on Facebook every day is conducive to that goal?
Reason #3: They Know More About You Than You Do
Facebook seems to have an obsession with collecting, and selling, as much data as physically possible.
They know what you like and dislike, what makes you happy and what you fear, they know where you go and what you buy, and most of all – they know how to manipulate you.
With all of this information, they can manipulate into buying what they want and thinking what they want.
You’re subconsciously being controlled by Facebook, and it’s not going to stop any time soon.
Data is a massive business all around the world, and the more time you spend on the site the more they’re going to collect.
It even has its own name, “Privacy Zuckering”. It’s just one of many dark patterns that exist on the internet designed to manipulate you into giving away your data.
Don’t know what dark patterns are? Check out our extensive article about every type of dark pattern you’ll find online.
You might not give a damn what they do with the data, but we have no idea where the industry is going to go in the future.
It could end up having some dangerous repercussions.
Reason #4: It’s Stopping You From Achieving Your Dreams
It sounds a bit dramatic, I know, but hear me out.
Just take a minute to think about whether your current situation is how you want to be living 5 years from now.
Sure, Facebook might not be solely responsible for you being unproductive, or not achieving your goals.
But, what it is responsible for is a lack of control in your life.
You’re owned by your device.
You might think you’re different but, in reality, we’re all human.
We’re weak, and we’re easily manipulated.
Facebook is the complete opposite.
They want you to spend as much time as possible on that app, and they want you to be as unproductive as possible.
Once you realise that you’re in control, and you make that choice to take back the reigns on your life, you’ll realise that you get to control everything about your future.
Whether your goal is to become wealthy and happy and peaceful, you can do all of that.
However, you’ll never be able to accomplish anything if you’re being led by someone else.
You have to take charge, and that can only begin when you decide to take that first step.
That first step towards creating a better you and towards living the life you want.
As always, thanks for reading.
Hopefully, I’ve managed to convince at least one of you to change your perspective about Facebook. If you have committed to taking some time off, let us know by commenting on the YouTube video above.
At the very least you now know how to delete your Facebook account, so that’s something. Right?
Dark Patterns: a user interface that has been carefully crafted to trick users into doing things, such as buying insurance with their purchase or signing up for recurring bills.
You’ve probably encountered loads of types of dark patterns during your time on the internet, you just didn’t realise it.
Most likely because they’re designed to be deceptive, and quietly manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do.
There are plenty of ways that companies do this, 12 to be exact, and none of them has your best interests at heart.
It could be as simple as signing up to an e-mail list.
Or, you could sign away personal data that gets used against you when you try to purchase insurance in the future.
It doesn’t sound fair, does it?
I’m sure you agree that design should be transparent and user-friendly.
Unfortunately, companies trying to make a quick buck off you don’t care about any of that.
Luckily, we’ve compiled a list of 12 types of dark patterns so that you’re able to recognise them online.
Types of Dark Patterns:
Bait and Switch
This is where you set out to do one thing, but a different, undesirable thing happens instead.
You might remember back in 2016 when Microsoft tried to get everyone to upgrade to Windows 10.
Eventually, through incessant pop-ups, most people began to accept it.
As time went on, Microsoft eventually resorted to a tactic that had many users up in arms.
Since the 80s, the little X in the top-right corner was used to close the window.
However, they decided to replace the X to instead mean:
“yes, I want to upgrade my computer to Windows 10”.
It sounds too ridiculous to be true, doesn’t it?
Eventually, Microsoft changed it back to normal -but not until an angry crowd of pitchfork-wielding users threw them under the bus!
Confirm shaming
Confirm shaming guilts the user into opting into something by shaming them if they decline.
The most common example of this is when sites get you to sign up to their mailing list.
For example, here’s one on a financial website offering investment reports in exchange for your email address.
The sign-up gives you two options. “Yes! Count me In!” or “No I love being poor.”
Once you start noticing this dark pattern it turns up all over the place.
Whether you’re on Amazon, the high street, or using an ATM – you’re going to encounter this type of dark pattern everywhere.
Oh, and also, it’s probably partly to blame for you having 58,394 unread e-mails in your inbox!
Disguised Ads
This is where adverts are disguised as other kinds of content or navigation, in order to get you to click on them.
I know I’ve said it a lot, but this one really is everywhere. Noticing a (dark) pattern emerging?
It’s 2019, you’ve probably watched enough films online that you’d feel at home on Blackbeard’s ship.
How many times have you seen a big flashing button that says “DOWNLOAD IN HD”, right next to another 3 links saying the exact same thing?
One link takes you to a survey page, another to a pop-up ridden website, and the link to actually download it is probably a small line of writing so small it could fit inside a comma.
Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea.
Forced Continuity
You know when your free trial comes to an end and your account starts getting charged without any warning?
That’s forced continuity.
“If I had a dollar for every free trial I’ve let renew after the first month, I’d probably be bankrupt due to all of the subscriptions I forgot to cancel” – Confucius, probably
These companies not only aren’t reminding you that your trial is ending but trying to cancel it is usually extremely complicated.
This dark pattern is used commonly with disguised ads.
They promise you money off your order if you click this link and in return, you’re suddenly enrolled on a $30/m subscription to a service you’ve never heard of.
How nice of them!
Friend Spam
Some products ask for your email, or social media permissions, promising some kind of benefit.
It’ll then spam all of your contacts in a message claiming to be from you.
The dangerous part of this is that there’s no way of knowing what they’re going to send to people – it could end up being quite dangerous.
It isn’t as common with major websites anymore but is used frequently by app creators to get more downloads.
A lot of people, myself included, quickly skip through the permissions pages when downloading a game.
These permissions are abused, and the game or app will post on your social media and message friends without asking you first.
A popular example of this, which resulted in a multi-million dollar lawsuit, was LinkedIn back in 2015.
They encouraged you to give them access to your e-mail account when signing up.
This was on the premise that you could build up a strong network for your career. Something that sounds super enticing to a new user trying to build relationships.
It sounds harmless, right?
But, in actuality, those who went along with it inadvertently gave LinkedIn permission to spam every single person you’ve ever e-mailed.
Ever.
Unsurprisingly, this turned out to be illegal and ended with the company having to pay out over $13 million in claims to those affected.
Hidden Costs
You get to the last step of the checkout process, only to discover some unexpected charges have appeared.
This is a personal pet peeve of mine.
I just want to buy a music ticket, Ticketmaster, why is there an extortionate booking fee? Also, what’s the deal with a service charge for ordering things online? It just doesn’t make any sense.
Check out this example from ProFlowers, a flower retailer based in the US, demonstrating dark patterns perfectly.
When you go to purchase some flowers, everything seems to be in order.
All you need to do is head through the checkout process and you’ll be blessed with some beautiful flowers in no time at all. Right?
Er, no.
Once you make it to the final screen – after a very lengthy process – you’re suddenly greeted by extra costs that weren’t advertised at all.
Now you have to pay almost 50% more for delivery, as well as a care and handling fee. What in the world is a care and handling fee, anyway?
Misdirection
Misdirection, as the name suggests, is where a design purposefully focuses your attention on one thing in order to distract you from another.
Way back when I was less internet savvy, the number of extra programs I installed by blindly clicking through installations was ridiculous.
I recently tried to install BitTorrent.
Along the way, I had to expertly navigate my way through a maze of menus and checkboxes to stop any third-party programs getting installed.
They warned me that my download speeds would be painfully slow if I declined to install the Opera browser.
If you’ve ever wondered where that random extension on your browser came from, you probably clicked too fast to get something installed.
Another popular approach is to trick you into paying extra for a service, that you really don’t need to pay for.
This is incredibly popular with airlines. They set up their site in a way that makes it seem like you have to pay money to book a seat.
In actuality, if you just skip the process they’ll still give you a seat on the plane for free.
They try really hard to not make this obvious.
Price Comparison Prevention
The retailer makes it hard for you to compare the price of an item with another item, so you cannot make an informed decision.
Does a website really need this many subscriptions?
As it turns out, free users are able to search for jobs on the website. But, if you want to apply you’re going to have to choose a subscription option.
All of a sudden it doesn’t seem like they’re as passionate about your career as they make out to be.
Also, check out this example from the popular supermarket Sainsbury’s.
They change the way that prices are displayed, whether it’s by weight or by volume. Making it incredibly hard for you to decide which option is the best value.
Privacy Zuckering
You are tricked into publicly sharing more information about yourself than you really intended to.
Named after none other than the king of data himself, Mark Zuckerberg, this dark pattern is used in nearly every corner of the internet.
Usually disguised within the small print of the Terms and Conditions, it gives the company the right to sell your personal data to third-party companies.
It’s not just personal information such as your age or your e-mail, it couldn’t contain details of your sexual preferences, and even your mental and physical health.
This could eventually lead to you being refused insurance or loans in the future.
It’s all very legal, and very disturbing.
Since data is a $200 billion industry, I wouldn’t expect this dark pattern to phase out any time soon.
Just try to be mindful of what you’re sharing online.
Also, check out stopdatamining.me to see how ridiculously difficult it is for you to opt-out of every companies data policy.
And yes, it’s next to impossible to delete your data entirely.
Roach Motel
This is where the design makes it very easy for you to get into a certain situation, but makes it hard for you to get out of it.
Common with subscriptions, it’s easy to sign up to something and then frustratingly difficult to cancel.
A few examples include:
Spotify having you press cancel 4 separate times just to be able to get away from them.
The Boston Globe making you go to their FAQ section, and then phone them up directly in order to cancel.
Ticketmaster signing you up to Rolling Stone Magazine, only to make you post them a cancellation within 30 days (more on this later).
It’s all just a competition to try and add in as many steps as possible since you’re less likely to go through with it if it takes you ages to cancel.
Sneak into Basket
You attempt to purchase something and, somewhere along the purchasing journey, the site sneaks an additional item into your basket.
Often through the use of an opt-out radio button or checkbox on a prior page.
I’m spoiled for choice on this one.
Our old friend Ticketmaster seems to think that everyone wants a subscription to Rolling Stone Magazine, and through the use of an opt-out checkbox on the order page, it’s more than likely a lot of people have signed up.
Oh, and if you want to cancel it, you’re going to have to print out the form, fill it in by hand and mail it with a stamp within 30 days.
Another great example is GoDaddy, the popular domain hosting service.
Search for a name you want to buy, and it flashes up saying “ONLY $0.99 for the first year”.
Let’s say you buy a few of these, and you’re expecting to pay around $17.
Now, when you go through to the checkout page it’s suddenly at $150?
OH, that’s right, you wanted 2 years instead of 1, as well as privacy protection on all domains.
But, we didn’t ask you, we just assumed. That’s cool, right?
Just a quick note, it’s now illegal to sell privacy protection in the UK and some EU countries, so if you are looking for a domain, don’t fall victim to this.
Trick Questions
You respond to a question, which, when glanced upon quickly appears to ask one thing, but if read carefully, asks another thing entirely.
Do you know those checkboxes that require a PhD in Quantum Physics to decipher due to how many double negatives they put in?
That’s a trick question.
Companies purposefully make these confusing, so that you’re more likely to sign up to whatever it is they’re offering.
Here’s a nice example from Currys, a leading electrical supplier in the UK.
You’re most likely going to tick the first box, and out of habit will probably tick the second box.
I hope you love third-party offers!
Protect Yourself from Dark Patterns
As always, thank you for reading. I hope this article has given you some insight into how companies are manipulating you online.
Whether they’re trying to take your money, your data, or even your social media accounts – they definitely know what they’re doing.
The crazy part is that it’s all completely legal.
It’s going to be a mainstay on the internet for a long time to come, especially as so much money is involved.
The best thing you can do is keep informed and up-to-date on dark patterns, and share this article to anyone you think will benefit.
Welcome to our Discord app review for parents. Continue reading or find a table of contents to your right:
If you’ve never heard of Discord before, you’re not alone.
Despite barely being 4 years old, the app already has over 250 million registered users. Most of whom are gamers.
If your child is a gamer, more than likely they’re using Discord.
But, what is it? And if it’s so popular how come I haven’t heard of it?
In this Discord app review, we’ll go over these questions, as well as many more.
We’ll also talk about how you can manage the time your child spends on the app, and make sure they stick to your guidelines.
Let’s get started.
What Is Discord?
Discord is a free-to-use voice and text communications app that can be used on almost every platform.
The vast majority of its users play video games, and Discord is starting to build up its platform to offer more rewards for gamers by partnering with gaming manufacturers.
On Discord, users can create what’s known as a server which is only accessible through a specific invitation link.
Within this server, people are free to communicate in text or voice channels dedicated to different purposes.
For example, someone might make a server based around their favourite game.
Inside the server, there may be a general text channel, a place to specifically talk about the game, an area where users can discuss their favourite anime and even a section to post memes.
Alongside this, they’ll include a few voice channels to make it easier to communicate and share ideas.
All of these channels can be locked to certain members of the server, depending on their rank, and moderators are able to keep an eye on the type of content that is posted.
Discord is incredibly easy-to-use, available everywhere, and offers a much-needed service to gamers around the world.
No wonder it’s so popular!
What Do Parents Need to Know?
In this section, we’ll give you a brief overview of the main elements you should be aware of in order to be able to keep your child safe on the app.
Discord plays an important role in your child’s social life
Imagine if you were able to instantly connect, chat and share whenever you wanted with all of your friends. Now imagine you’re not just limited to friends, but can easily communicate with anyone interested in all of your hobbies. Therefore, if you’re trying to limit your child’s screen time by restricting gaming, you need to consider how they will react to their social life being taken away.
Poor age-restriction.
Discord states that their app is only for those aged 13 and up, and if you want to view adult content you have to verify your age. However, like most of these services, a simple checkbox bypasses any block that might be in place. This leads nicely into our next point.
Discord is home to a large amount of adult-only content
Firstly, we’re not saying that your child is going to stumble upon porn as soon as they download the app. The issue is, a large number of servers include an NSFW (not safe for work) channel for people to share graphic images and videos. This isn’t something you’re going to find on the majority of popular servers such as Fortnite , PUBG, or anime. But once you delve a bit deeper into more niche topics, it’s very easy to find.
Want to keep your children safe online? Our friends at Covenant Eyes provides device accountability and monitoring.
See what games your child is playing
As long as your child hasn’t disabled it in the settings, their current activity is visible to all of their friends and servers. It might say “currently playing Fortnite” or “listening to Spotify”. As a result, if you’re friends with your child on Discord (which we’d highly recommend), you can monitor their activity much more easily.
The app is free-to-use, but…
That little b-word always makes its way in somewhere. Users can access 99% of all Discord features for free, but there’s also an option to subscribe for $4,99/m to Discord Nitro. This enables people to share server and game-specific gifs and emojis, as well as a unique username and animated profile picture. Only a small portion of the userbase subscribes to Nitro, but as more and more games are offering exclusive features to Discord users, that may change in the future.
The problem is, there isn’t a simple answer – Discord is as safe as you let it be, but if you don’t pay attention it can become a dangerous app for kids.
As we mentioned earlier, it’s possible for your child to come across graphic imagery, regardless of how careful they are.
There are a number of servers which could introduce your kids to a very toxic environment, and that’s something we want to avoid.
Here’s what we’d recommend for a parent trying to make Discord a better environment for everyone:
Have an honest discussion with your child about staying safe online, and understand why they’re using Discord. Don’t be confrontational with them, just let them know online safety is a family value.
Make an account and take some time to familiarise yourself with the app. Try joining some servers by doing a Google search of “game + discord server”. Note:This will require you to download the app on your smart device or computer.
If you’re worried that your child is spending too much time playing video games, let them know you’re interested in learning more about Discord and want to be their friend. It’s possible that they will be hesitant at first, but assure them you won’t join any of their servers, you just want to become more invested.
Unfortunately, aside from the few things I just mentioned, there isn’t much more you can do to monitor or limit your child’s Discord time.
There’s always the option of talking to your internet provider about app/website blocking, or time monitoring. But, that might be too extreme for some people.
You can look into Covenant Eyes, Bark, K9 Web Protection, Circle, or Family Zone for help with that.
If your child’s Discord use has got out of control or they have had their account hacked, you may need to delete your Discord account.
Final Word: Discord App Review
Like with most apps, the issue isn’t with the program itself, it’s with the people that use it.
If you let your child join servers full of random people, then soon enough they’ll come across something they shouldn’t see.
If, however, you manage their time on the app responsibly, then it can be a healthy and effective way for your child to communicate with their friends.
An increasing number of parents are worried about how to raise their child in a world dominated by gaming. If you’re one of them, check out our article about How To Raise Successful Kids That Play Video Games.
The article is a summary of a recent interview with Jordan Shapiro, author of The New Childhood, and it’s a fantastic resource that every parent should look at.
If you found this Discord app review helpful, be sure to share it with other parents who are concerned.
I was completely addicted to one particular game – an MMO called Black Desert Online.
The thing is, I was really good at it. I enjoyed playing the game so much I actually stopped working so I could play it 24/7.
Why would I do something like that?
I was trying to make sure my name remained relevant in my own little digital heaven.
I wanted to be remembered.
Turning My Back on Gaming
As expected, things went south fairly quickly. I soon had to find a job and get back to work.
This was the catalyst for change. I ended up selling my account and didn’t look back once.
Just like that.
I remember, in the interview for my current job, my boss was telling me that the job could be boring.
My reply: “Don’t worry, I’ve been known to do the same thing for 18 hours straight and even enjoy it”.
I still cringe thinking about it, but I ended up getting the job. However, like most jobs, I soon became pretty bored.
I wasn’t fulfilled and I found myself having way too much free time. So, I started using this time to go to the gym.
It turned out that I could carve out a decent shape if I just follow a good workout plan. While this was a great habit, it didn’t help with the boredom.
I’m allowed to wear headphones at work. So, I started listening to fantasy audiobooks like the Wheel of Time series and Brandon Sanderson novels.
Maybe I still had the bug for getting enveloped inside a fantasy world.
This newfound passion for audiobooks worked really well for about 8 months.
But not well enough, I guess.
I was getting bored. Again.
Life Became My Video Game
After a bit of searching for things to do, I came across an app called LifeRPG.
This completely changed my life.
LifeRPG allows you to track your habits and goals, but it presents them in a way that makes real life into a video game.
You gain experience for completing missions and can earn real-life rewards once you finish a certain amount.
I spent a couple of days getting into the app and adding little missions for myself.
Finish workout = finish a mission.
Clean my car = finish a mission.
It’s like having daily quests from an online multiplayer game.
Complete missions, get exp, level up skills, and earn crystals with which you can use to purchase your own custom rewards.
I was using LifeRPG every day, for a time, but it really got interesting when I decided I wanted to get into programming.
I started to study a lot, and almost forgot about the app. Then, one day, I remembered it existed and decided to use it to encourage myself to study.
I added dozens of missions, even rewards and stuff for myself. Some of my rewards included a day off or an unhealthy snack, to more expensive things like buying a new laptop.
Real Life Gamer
Not long after I discovered something called litRPG books.
I still only really listen to audiobooks, but I noticed that there were a lot of them involving characters playing MMOs.
They’d have stats that level up during the book, and it was as close to playing an MMO as you could – without the playing.
So I started soaking them up. Awaken Online, The Land, Life Reset, The Gam3, The Way of the Shaman, and so on.
There are so many of them. Some are better than others, but I even enjoy the bad ones.
I’ve completely lost any urge to play MMOs because while I’m working and driving I’m listening to someone else play MMOs.
Positive thinking doesn’t quite work for me, but turning my life into a video game works wonders.
I’d rather randomly take out my phone to complete a mission and add rewards to purchase than start gaming.
My Life Has Completely Changed
In the past, my typical day would involve me waking up really late, playing video games all day, and then going to sleep really late.
I’d miss school, work, and whatever responsibilities I had in order to play.
However, now my day is completely different:
Wake up early for work
Weigh myself (mission)
Listen to an audiobook in the car
More listening while working
Go to the gym after work (mission)
Drive home, audiobook again
Study programming for a few hours (mission)
Browse the internet
If I have time I’ll complete some optional missions
I’m well on my way to become an experienced programmer, and I have a great routine and structure to my life. It’s been so long since I was a hardcore gamer that I haven’t got any issues saying no to games anymore.
My Advice for Someone Trying to Quit
Don’t expect to change your life without taking some drastic steps. You have to do more than just uninstall a game or two.
You’ll have to change as many things about yourself as possible.
Get rid of that ugly lamp. Buy a new mousepad. Toss your old clothes.
These things might not be holding you back, but being able to change these little things will make it easier to change yourself.
And remember – The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is now. The worst time is never.
Thank you for reading my story. Hopefully, I’ve inspired someone else who’s reading this to turn their life around by quitting gaming, it’s well worth it.
Signing off – Herman.
If you want to find out more information about video game addiction, and how it might be having an effect on your life, check out the 90-day detox. Like Herman and hundreds of others on Game Quitters, you too can turn your life around.
An investigation into whether or not video games are designed to be addictive:
Video games have been around for over 50 years. They are meant to be simple fun and entertainment.
Previously, buying a video game meant buying a complete game.
There was no downloadable content (DLC), no cosmetic items, and most importantly, no loot boxes. Video game addiction didn’t even exist.
Developers were happy to release a full game with the knowledge that a good game would lead to a customer buying a sequel.
The more modern video game, however, is the opposite.
Games are now designed to keep you playing rather than rely on you buying the sequel.
Gaming companies are enlisting the help of PhD behavioural psychologists using state-of-the-art research and data to make their games as addictive as possible.
You’ve probably heard of games being labelled as ‘engaging’ and ‘fun’, but a lot of the time the industry chooses simple language to disguise the addictiveness of their video games.
Let’s go through a few examples of how modern games are designed to be addictive, and whether anything can be done about it.
Skinner’s Box: Addictive Game Design
In the 1950s, a well-known psychologist named B.F. Skinner discovered you could control behavior through the use of a stimulus and a reward.
You may recognise the famous “rat in a cage” videos where the rat has learned to pull a lever to receive food.
A modern example of this is the Battle Pass system within Fortnite. The battle pass costs roughly $10 for 10 weeks, which is the length of one season in Fortnite.
This then gives you access to daily quests and objectives, which, when completed you’re rewarded with extra skins and emotes (dances/gestures).
It’s quite simple, really.
Would you rather pay $X to unlock everything or, a much lower $Y to unlock everything just through playing the game a lot?
You might be happy to pay $X up front, but imagine how a child is going to answer that question? They’ll take option B every day.
It tricks you into believing that you’re gaining a huge amount of value from a relatively small investment. When in reality, you’re trading large portions of your time just to make your character look a bit cooler.
Which leads us nicely into our next point.
Virtual Goods = Real Goods
As humans, we have an instinctive ability to tell if we like something in a split second.
For example, it takes one-fifth of a second to know if we are attracted to someone 1515.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01999.x ×
. Therefore, wanting something in the virtual world is akin to wanting something in the real world.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in South Korea. A law was passed in 2010 which states virtual items have the same value as real ones 1616.
https://www.adweek.com/digital/south-korea-rules-virtual-currency-on-par-with-real-money/ ×
.
These items are now acting as reinforcement for playing, as you’re likening your increased wealth in-game to being wealthy in real life.
Not to mention the attachment that most gamers feel towards their collection and ‘gamer lifestyle’.
For a lot of people, their online wealth is quite literally all they have. It’s an amalgamation of their life progress, achievements, and friends.
It’s no wonder that gamers are placing much more value on their virtual collection than their real-life achievements which, for a lot of gamers, is almost non-existent.
There have also been studies showing that addicts are more likely to identify with their online avatars, in an attempt to compensate for a poorer sense of self and lack of real-world progress.
Changing the Rate of Reinforcement
Reinforcement in video games is usually fast and frequent when you start playing.
“You levelled up! here is a reward!”
Receiving a reward every time you level up is known as a ‘fixed reinforcement ratio of one’.
This is manipulated a huge number of ways to keep you playing, such as:
Extending the time it takes to level up, therefore, increasing play time for the same reward.
Changing the reward rate from “fixed” to “variable” – this means you no longer get a reward every time you level up, or win a game, but at random intervals.
Studies 1717.
https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-psychology/chapter/operant-conditioning/ ×
have shown that using variable reinforcement is by far the most effective (seen in red).
Unsurprisingly, it is also the one most commonly used in video games.
However, this isn’t to say that variable reinforcement is the only method used in how video games are designed to be addictive.
A number of developers combine variable rewards with constant rewards, to keep you coming back for more.
For example, in World of Warcraft (and most MMOs), you can always see your progress towards your next level. That way you’re still being rewarded for your effort, although you haven’t achieved that next level – yet.
Then, when you eventually level up you’re given a new reward each time. This is usually a new skill improvement, items, or unlocked quest(s). It’s this combination of the two systems that keeps you really hooked on playing every day.
Just watch this PhD Researcher from Epic Games (creator of Fortnite) describe how video games are designed to be addictive:
Loot Boxes
Game developers have taken this manipulation a step further in recent years with the introduction of loot boxes.
A loot box is a virtual item that can be opened, usually using real money, and contains a random virtual item with different levels of rarity.
Loot boxes provide another way of varying the reinforcement in video games.
Similar to gambling in real life, loot boxes give you a random chance to get a reward that. Loot boxes have been compared to fixed odds betting terminals (FOBTs), which have been linked to serious gambling problems.
There have even been cases reported of people losing their entire life savings on virtual loot boxes .
Currently gambling law in most countries does not cover virtual goods.
Some video games reward you with loot boxes for achieving a level up. This gives you the chance to spend more money in the game, just to get a reward that you end up paying for anyway! It’s the perfect money-making machine.
Punishment for Not Playing
A staggering number of popular mobile games such as Farmville and Candy Crush punish you for not playing the game.
Skinner referred to this as avoidance, meaning you perform a behaviour to avoid the negative outcome.
In Farmville, your crops will die if they are not harvested, even when you aren’t playing.
For example, you might plant some crops that take 4 hours to ripen.
If you don’t log back onto the game within 4 hours of them ripening, the crops will wither and die.
The only way to avoid this is to spend real money on ‘unwithering tools’, or to make sure you’re always logging into the game every day.
Avoidance has become one of the most widely used tactics in mobile games, keeping you as a customer, and increasing the chance that you’ll spend extra money on the game.
It’s these tactics that have led to the mobile industry becoming the most lucrative gaming market in the world, bringing in over 50% of the entire global revenue from video games since 2018 .
Streaks and Daily Rewards
How many games have you played where on your first-day logging on a screen flashes up saying “Daily reward! Claim now!”?
This is another common system put in place by mobile and MMO developers to keep you playing.
These types of game are reliant on you logging in every single day to level up your character, and they are going to do everything they can to ensure you do.
One thing they might do is show you a 30-day timetable of what you’ll receive if you log on for 30 days straight.
Initially, because you’re just starting out, that 30-day reward might seem incredibly powerful.
But after you play for a while, you will realise these rewards are actually quite useless. It was just a strategy to make sure you play that first month.
A lot of games also make use of a monthly subscription service, but include a 30-day free trial for their game.
Game developers know that if you make it through those 30 days, you’re much more likely to carry on playing and buy the game afterwards.
To top it off, developers will make sure you lose a portion of your items or progress unless you upgrade to the full version.
That first month is crucial for user retention and another place where video games are designed to be addictive.
In-Game Seasons
Seasons are a perfect representation of how the pricing model of the gaming industry has shifted over recent years.
Previously you would buy a game, play it, and finish it or trade it back in.
Today’s games are usually free-to-play and implement systems to keep you playing the same game.
One example of this, which is heavily used in Fortnite and PUBG Mobile, is in-game seasons.
If you weren’t aware, every 3 months games like Fortnite and PUBG Mobile reset their progress.
This means that all of your hard earned levels and experience get thrown away, and you have to start from square one again.
However, you get to keep all of the cosmetic items earned through the battle pass system we learned about earlier.
If you don’t complete all of the quests available to you, you don’t get to unlock all of the rewards.
The start of a new season is also a great way for Epic, Fortnite’s developers, to introduce loads of new content in order to keep the game fresh.
In the past, they’ve introduced the infinity gauntlet from Marvel’s Infinity War, and whoever collects them all turns into a superhero wielding near unstoppable power.
They’ll also add a variety of new character customisation options such as skins, dances, and animations.
It’s this constant renewal of the game which keeps people enjoying it over and over again, and it’s been a huge contributor to Fortnite’s massive success – they earned over $2.4 billion dollars in revenue in 2018.
Video Games Are Designed to Be Addictive
You might not be aware of how video games are designed to be addictive.
I hope this article has highlighted some of their tactics for you. Games are designed to keep you playing and increasingly, to get you to spend money.
Game designers are behavioral psychologists who are very much aware of the systems they’re putting in their games.
They’re implementing these strategies in games are marketed for children. With the explosion of the mobile gaming industry, it’s only going to get worse.
If you, or someone you know, might be struggling with gaming addiction, we’ve got loads of fantastic resources to give you the support that you need.
I began my gaming journey at the young age of 5 with Final Fantasy 1 and Star Tropics.
For me, games provided a sense of achievement and a means of escape from the reality of my life. I wasn’t happy, and instead of dealing with my problems head-on, I escaped to video games to drown my sorrows.
About 6 years ago, I started realising that I had a problem.
I was so miserable and felt like with all that I had suffered through, the world owed me something. I decided I didn’t like the direction my life was going and knew I needed to do something about it.
My Life As a Gamer
When I used to play video games, I’d wake up feeling groggy because I didn’t get nearly enough sleep and go to school or work.
I’d usually come home and immediately play games until 2 or 3am, if not later. I would only take breaks to go to the washroom or eat – the basics.
My relationships with my family were not good. I hardly had anything to talk about with any of my extended family and I had no social circle whatsoever.
My health was deteriorating, both in terms of my weight and my ability to do basic tasks.
To top it off my finances were a complete mess.
I Couldn’t Keep Going On Like This…
6 years ago I decided to make that decision to quit gaming.
It was tough to begin with. I didn’t realize there was help available for video game addicts, and none of my family really understood what I was going through.
One day I ended up googling “how to quit video games” and found Game Quitters. I learned about the 90-day detox and decided to try it.
I went through a cycle of quitting and relapsing a number of times, with varying amounts of time between each attempt.
My Biggest Hurdle Was Myself
The number one issue I faced was a lack of self-confidence, which never existed while I was beating up monsters in video games.
When you’re inside a game you feel invincible and nothing can stop you.
So, what did I do?
Along with visualizations and affirmations, the biggest help for me was creating a playlist with positive songs such as Firework by Katy Perry and You Gotta Want It by Roberta Gold.
I listened to this playlist every time I was in my car. The messages started to sink in… I deserve to be happy and confident in life.
The single biggest strategy that helped me get to this point, however, was to never give up on myself.
Even through my relapses, I held on to the idea that I need to quit video games and work on my goals and dreams.
As long as you don’t give up on yourself, you always have a chance to succeed.
I’m not really a morning person, so I was still waking up groggy even with the proper amount of sleep! However, after some early morning stretching and eating breakfast, that usually went away.
After work, I would eat dinner and either hit the gym, read a book, go on a hike, or watch some Netflix.
My Life Has Improved…
Here are a few things that have gotten better since I quit gaming:
My social circle is much better now and I’ll occasionally go and hang out with friends.
I’m much more willing to try new things.
I have much more confidence in myself and my social skills.
I have more time to spend on the things that matter most, like my family and my goals.
I’ve taken back control of my finances.
Pretty much every conceivable thing that could be better, is better.
“As long as you don’t give up on yourself, you always have a chance to succeed.”
I also like to read books and make music. Something I never had time to do in the past. I’m exploring the idea of turning one of those into a career, either becoming an author or musician.
I’ve always thought of myself as more of a technical person but I think I enjoy the creative side of things a whole lot more.
My Biggest Piece of Advice
Don’t try to take on too many things at once.
Quit games and immediately find one activity that you can do that isn’t gaming. Commit to doing that activity at least once a week.
What you do for the rest of the time isn’t that important as long as you stay away from games and everything gaming related.
As you move further away from games, you will naturally get interested and involved in other aspects of life, depending on what’s important to you.
You don’t necessarily need to know what those things are at first, just slowly work on figuring them out. It’s easy to get super excited about doing everything possible at first, but if you try to do too much at once, you’re going to end up relapsing.
After your initial excitement fades away then you have to rely on commitment, which might be much harder than you realise. Goal setting, multiple activities and all that good stuff will come in time.
You have to remember that it’s a process that takes time. You won’t see results overnight and you have to be comfortable with that.
A Call for More Help
Video game addiction is a serious problem that is only going to get worse, and the world isn’t nearly set up enough to tackle this issue.
The real-life resources available for video game addicts are next to non-existent, at least where I live.
I saw a psychologist for a while, but I didn’t get the sense that she was treating the video game addiction at all.
People just don’t have enough experience handling the problem.
I think what needs to happen is we, as a society, need to accept that it IS a problem, and then maybe we can get to work on developing real-life strategies that will work.
If you want to find out more information about video game addiction, and how it might be having an effect on your life, check out the 90-day detox. Like Jaroslaw and hundreds of others on Game Quitters, you too can turn your life around.
In this tutorial, you will learn how to delete your League of Legends account in less than five minutes.
Ready to quit League of Legends? One of the first steps you want to take is to delete your account.
As someone who struggled with a video game addiction, one of the games I found most addictive was League of Legends.
I spent countless hours destroying towers, pushing mid, and learning how to last hit minions. When I finally quit playing video games last year, League of Legends was the first thing to go.
If you’ve come to the realization that the game is taking over your life, and you want to know how to delete your league of legends account, then you’ve come to the right place.
I’ll guide you through the simple process, and within 5 minutes you’ll be well on your way to a game-free future.
Step 1: Head over to the support section at the top of the screen, and click on ‘Submit A Request’.
Step 2: In the ‘Request Type’ box choose account management, data requests or deletion. You might need to scroll down a bit.
Step 3: I need help with – I would like to delete my account.
Step 4 – Important:In the subject field, make sure you write ‘Account Deletion‘.
Step 5: In the final box you need to copy and paste the following text and answer the questions as best you can.
Account Name (The name you log in to the LoL client with):
Summoner Name (The name your friends see in-game):
The server you play on:
Original email address used to register the account:
Location that you registered the account from (City, Country):
Have you purchased RP on this account? If yes, please list the payment methods used to purchase RP:
This information is also available on the Account Deletion FAQ on the League of Legends website.
Finally, just select your language and if you know whether or not you’re a PBE player you can fill that in too.
Once that’s all done click Submit and you’re good to go.
Account Deletion Takes 30 Days
Now your account is in Riot’s hands, and the process will take 30 days to complete.
You’ll be unable to access your account during this time.
The only way you can recover your account is by messaging their support directly, provided it’s within five days of the end of the time limit.
If you’re struggling to find something to do instead of playing League of Legends, check out our huge list of hobbies and start changing your life today.
I’ve always loved video games and have been playing since I was 8 years old.
Recently, I’d noticed that I was playing games more often – but I was enjoying them less than ever. I would feel compelled to fire up the PS4 or my phone after work and just start playing mindlessly.
I’ve always enjoyed playing FIFA 19. But more recently, I’ve played mobile games that I used to despise such as Candy Crush and Gardenscapes.
I assumed I would spend my evenings and weekends sitting on the edge of the sofa waiting for time to pass since there could be nothing to replace gaming.
Wow, it feels weird saying that now but that’s really how I felt!
In reality, I instantly found new things to do during this time.
I started doing crossword puzzles. My son and I would go play soccer in the park. I spent more time with friends, took up swimming, and I’m proud to say I’ve learned the piano and can now play some songs.
It’s been a real eye-opener to realize how your sense of fulfillment can get twisted playing video games.
It becomes easy to forget that the real world is, in fact, a massive multiplayer open-world sandbox. And one where you’ll find much more meaning and value than you will on a hard drive.
Since finishing the 90 days I have gone back and played a few games.
And you know what? They don’t really do it for me anymore.
I’m much happier spending my precious time on other pursuits these days.
I’d like to thank Cam for being such a wonderful inspiration for those of us who are needlessly losing huge chunks of their lives to gaming, never stop what you’re doing.
If this story has resonated with you and you think you might be addicted to gaming, take a few minutes to try out our free quiz for gamers.
Giving up video games isn’t easy, especially when it’s such a huge part of your life. But once you realize you can spend your time leveling up in real life, you will begin to see that anything is possible.
If you want to find out more information about video game addiction, and how it might be having an effect on your life, check out the 90-day detox. Like James and hundreds of others on Game Quitters, you too can turn your life around.
Step-by-step instructions to clear your YouTube history:
Have you ever decided to watch one YouTube video about a topic, only to have your entire homepage become flooded with similar videos?
Unsurprisingly, YouTube is using their optimized algorithm to comb through your search and watch history, to recommend videos they think you’d like.
This isn’t usually a problem, but if you’re someone who has just started on your 90-day detox from gaming, it can be a struggle.
After people quit gaming, a number of them fill that void with YouTube and become addicted.
I mean, why wouldn’t you? It’s an infinite trove of mentally stimulating content just waiting to be watched.
But, receiving recommended gameplay from your favourite video games can increase your cravings to play.
The best way to get around this is to learn how to clear your YouTube history. And don’t worry, I’ve included the mobile version for you as well.
How To Clear Your YouTube History
Clearing your YouTube history is actually pretty simple. However, YouTube likes to hide all of your data (even the deleted stuff) behind another few steps.
How to Delete Your Watch and Search History
Step 1: Head over to your history tab on the left side of the screen
Step 2: You’ll see the two sections on the right-hand side. Click ‘clear all history’ in both of these and you’re good to go.
That’s it!
Now you get to admire your beautiful homepage in all of its glory. You may also want to delete your YouTube account itself to really have as few temptations as possible.
Quick note – If you use the YouTube Music app you’ll have to go through the same process in that.
Clean YouTube’s Hidden Data
Now there are a couple of extra steps to take to delete the rest of your data Google has on file.
Step 1: Head back over to the history tab, navigate to the right-hand side and click on ‘manage all activity’.
Step 2: Click on the ‘delete activity by’ on the left side of the screen.
Step 3: Under the ‘delete by date’ section, change it to all time.
Step 4: Now press delete.
And, hopefully, you’re good to go.
Initially, this might not look like it has much of an effect, as your homepage has gone back to normal after clearing your watch and search history.
However, over time YouTube will feed recommendations back to you based on videos you watched months or years ago.
How To Delete Your Watch History on Mobile
The mobile version is pretty similar to the desktop version, it’s just laid out slightly differently. Follow the arrows and you’ll be all set.
Step 1: Click on Library in the bottom right.
Step 2: Click on ‘History’ at the top.
Step 3: Tap on the three dots in the top-right corner.
Step 4: On the pop-up menu, select ‘History Controls’
Step 5: Now just click on ‘Clear Watch History’ and ‘Clear Search History’. Also, note that you can delete all of your YouTube data on this screen, similar to what we did on the desktop.
And that’s it. Pretty simple.
If you find yourself giving into your cravings and end up binge-watching a bunch of videos, just go back, delete your history and reset.
If you’re looking to prevent these binge-watching sessions happening, we’ll be releasing a guide soon on how to get rid of all of the distractions on YouTube such as Recommended videos, Trending, and Autoplay.
So make sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel to get notified when the video goes live. And leave a comment on the video about your experience with YouTube after trying to quit gaming.
Now YouTube isn’t the only social media site that causes issues for people and Reddit is another some people get addicted to as well.
Step-by-step guide to stop wasting time on Reddit:
For the longest time I despised Reddit. It was poorly designed, didn’t make any sense, and was just boring.
Then, roughly 2 years ago, I decided to really give it a go.
I learned how to use it, got on board with the Reddit sense of humour, and followed all the subreddits I could think of, including /r/StopGaming
I Was Hooked
For me, wasting time on Reddit was almost worse than being addicted to video games.
I’d spend hours scrolling through the front page looking at memes, gifs, reading countless life pro tips, and even watching porn.
And yet, I don’t think I could recall a single piece of advice I’d read on Reddit.
I was doing all this reading, convincing myself I was learning and improving myself when in reality it was going in one ear and straight out the other.
I had managed to curb my addiction to other social media sites like Instagram, but Reddit was a stubborn beast. I was so addicted to Reddit.
I’m here to tell you, however, that it can still be tamed. With the right systems and a bit of effort, you too can learn how to stop wasting time on Reddit.
Stop Wasting Time on Reddit
You’ve probably noticed in the past that you unconsciously reach for your phone to start browsing the internet.
I’m bored, time to get out my phone.
I’m waiting for someone, better browse Reddit.
You’ve done it so much now that it has turned into an automatic response… a habit.
The good thing about habits is that they can be changed, and that begins with awareness.
I want you to ask yourself a few questions:
What need is my device fulfilling? Is it to do with boredom? Sadness? Tiredness? Or am I just lonely?
If I take a day off from my device, will I be holding myself back?
Is it an absolute must for me to use my device to complete a task?
Take some time to have a think, and try to get as in-depth as possible.
The more serious you can take it now, the easier it will be to overcome the problem.
Now, we’re going to use these questions again, so keep them somewhere you can see them.
Mindfulness Is the Key
The first thing you need to do is learn to be aware of your usage, and start catching yourself before it happens.
From now on, every time you go to pick up your device, you’re going to pause and stop yourself in the act. Take a moment to breathe.
It’s going to be tough to begin with, and probably won’t happen until you’ve already opened Reddit. But, the trick is to keep trying until you’re eventually doing it before it happens.
Once you’ve caught yourself in the process, I want you to ask yourself those three questions from before.
All we’re trying to do here is develop some self-awareness to our habit.
The first necessary step in changing a habit is learning what the start point of that habit is. In the Habit Loop this is called the Trigger.
Once you learn what your Trigger is, you can begin to work on controlling it.
Replace Reddit with Something Meaningful
After a bit of practice, you should have identified which needs you’re trying to fulfill by browsing Reddit.
Now, the next step is to find an activity that can fill that same need, without incorporating any unhealthy technology habits you’ve already developed.
In the New York Times Best Selling Book, Atomic Habits, author James Clear shares three ways to break a bad habit:
There are 3 ways to break a bad habit.
1. Elimination – cut it off entirely.
2. Reduction – drop to the desired level.
3. Substitution – replace the bad habit with a good one.
All three can work. It just depends on what you want to achieve.
Whether you decide to eliminate Reddit completely or simply reduce your usage, finding a replacement habit to counter Reddit will be crucial.
If you’ve got no idea what to do, try looking back to a time where you were happy without technology. It might be a past experience or hobbies you used to enjoy.
A big one for me was playing music. Something I’d fallen out of touch with over the last few years.
The important thing now is to begin associating the urge with picking up your device, with the urge to spend time on your preferred activities.
An example of what this might look like with practice:
I’m lonely but I don’t realize it
I want to interact with my favorite subreddits
I realize I’m picking up my phone
“Why am I doing this?”
Realizing I’m lonely
Instead of browsing Reddit I’m going to message a friend to hang out
This is a pretty simple explanation but I hope it makes some sense to you.
What If I Can’t Stop Wasting Time Reddit?
Most of the time we pick up our phone, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
It’s at this point when following the previous steps becomes difficult.
It might sound like I’m repeating myself but again, the key here is self-awareness and practice.
The best way that I’ve found to take control of the situation is to use those momentary lapses in concentration, when your attention naturally breaks from the screen, and attempt to catch yourself in the moment.
Instead of going straight back to moving your thumb up and down your screen, you’re going to try to and regain a sense of awareness of your surroundings.
A few things you could try:
Stand up and take a few steps
Press the buttons on your phone
Look around and notice where you are
Kick your feet or stretch your body
The key to these movements is to snap you out of that technology-induced trance.
Once you’ve managed to snap out of it, you can start focusing your attention on any tasks or problems you might have, and work towards solving them.
Can’t I Just Block Reddit?
Of course, there’s nothing stopping you from doing it. It’s possible to block subreddits and even block individual users. It’s just not something that I’ve used to great effect in the past.
There are well-known blocking apps like FocusMe, or my personal favorite, the StayFocusd extension for Chrome. You can also use Reddit’s native parental controls.
I put all of the sites I want to block on there and hit the Nuclear Option for 1000000 hours.
Also, make sure to block the extensions page as well as enable the extension in incognito mode.
Sure, there are ways that any tech-savvy individual can get around them, but there’s one big advantage to using a blocker: It helps to refocus your attention in the moment and catch you before you start browsing.
For example, you’re bored and unconsciously opening Reddit. As you do, a big warning pops up on your screen telling you to get back to work.
This triggers you into becoming self-aware of your surroundings and can act as a great way to snap you back into focus.
However, while blocking apps is great, you want to develop the ability to remain mindful and aware of the situation at hand. It’s also really helpful to just delete your Reddit account so you have even less temptation.
The sooner you can address the reasons why you’re starting to browse Reddit, the sooner you can start developing more healthy habits.
It’s something that will benefit in the future far more than you realize.
I still remember the feeling of rushing over to my cousin’s house after they’d just bought an Xbox 360, and seeing the intro scene for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.
The sweeping views over the Imperial City were like nothing I’d ever seen before, and from that day forward I was infected with the Bethesda bug.
When Skyrim first came out I racked up 26 hours playtime in the first 36 hours of its release. I used to boast about it in school.
Since that day 8 years ago, I’ve explored every nook and cranny of the world, I’ve installed more mods than I can count, I’ve even role-played every class imaginable. I still kept going back for more.
I’ve spent thousands of hours in that immersive world, and I’d spend thousands more without batting an eye.
Even now, after being game-free for over 7 months, hearing any piece of music from an Elder Scrolls game makes me want to start a new character and jump right back in to that imaginary world of Dragons, Draugr and damned Dwemer ruins.
Getting Back to Basics
Before we dive head-first into this, we need to address the issue at its source. Is your problem with Skyrim itself, or are you just addicted to gaming?
Let me know if any of these sound familiar:
Gaming is the dominant activity in your life, and you’re preoccupied with what you’re playing or you’re going to play next
When you’re not gaming you’re anxious, irritable, bored or even sad
You aren’t satisfied with just an hour of playing. You need to push yourself further and further.
You’re not as interested in your other hobbies anymore, just gaming.
Do you keep playing games despite knowing they’re having a negative effect?
Has gaming significantly affected your personal relationships, school or career in the past?
If so, you might be addicted to gaming, and your problem might run deeper than just Skyrim. Check out these video game addiction signs and symptoms to find out more.
With this newfound knowledge in hand, we can begin addressing the problem.
How to Quit Playing Skyrim: Step-By-Step
When people begin their journey towards a life without gaming, some choose to quit completely and others try to play in moderation.
If you’re reading this article then you already know that playing Skyrim for a few hours a week just isn’t going to work. This might not be easy to hear, but you’re going to have to cut the game out completely.
All your characters, mods, quests, and even the hundreds of dragon bones you’re definitely hoarding in your house. No ifs or buts. The game has gotta go.
This is the most important step, and you should spend time thinking about it.
Maybe you’re tired of feeling the way you do. Perhaps you’ve envisioned your life 10 years from now: still depressed and playing video games and it’s been a wake-up call.
Maybe you’re sick of being alone, and want to have a real group of friends.
It might even be as simple as having goals in your life that you know you won’t accomplish if you’re still playing Skyrim 30 hours a week.
The journey of quitting video games isn’t an easy one. It’s full of challenges and even cravings. Having a clear reason why will help you solidify your purpose for overcoming this addiction. It’s something you can look back to when things start getting rough.
Action step: Write down why you want to quit Skyrim. Then, post it somewhere you will see it to easily remind yourself.
One of the biggest issues when quitting video games is finding something to fill the void. You need to fill dozens of hours a week with activities that, initially, you won’t find entertaining at all.
The simple thing to do here is to pick a few different hobbies, perhaps ones you’ve wanted to try for a long time, and commit to working on them. You need to find activities that you like, that you like a lot. Remember, you’re trying to compete with video games here.
Sounds daunting, right? The reality is, once you start living without video games things will start to improve rapidly.
You’ll start to see the true beauty of real life, and realize that there’s so much more out there than completing quests and getting new gear.
Once you stop constantly bombarding your brain with happiness-boosting dopamine, you’ll start finding joy in places you never thought possible.
That’s when you start to make real change in your life.
You’re no longer a gamer. You’re a surfer, a musician, an entrepreneur, a climber, a writer, an engineer, a photographer or whatever else you want to be.
Tie these activities in with your ‘why’, and you’re going to be unstoppable.
You have to get honest with yourself. You’re embarking on a journey, and it’s not some level 1 escape-the-sewers quest.
This is serious stuff. You have to make a commitment to yourself, to your friends, and to your loved ones.
You have to decide to quit playing Skyrim. There’s no playing in moderation. You can’t use it as a reward. You will quit gaming cold turkey, 110%.
Make the decision not to touch them at all ever again. And most importantly, you have to mean it. Make the decision to delete your Steam account now.
If you’re not willing to do this, you’re just going to start playing games again, and find one of a thousand reasons to justify it. The excuses stop here.
Action step: Join us on our forum and introduce yourself. Document your journey.
Step 4: Level Up in Real Life
After quitting gaming 7 months ago, my life has changed in more ways than I thought possible.
I became a self-employed web designer, writer, photographer and musician. I’ve even got friends all over the world lifting me up to reach goals I’d only dreamed about. Even when Lineage 2 came out I didn’t care.
The biggest change is that I finally feel content in what I’m doing. I’m not suffering from any more mental health problems, I’m working on something I love doing, and I’m actually happy.
For the first time in years I’m genuinely enjoying my life at the moment, and I’ve only just begun. I don’t care how realistic graphics have become. You will never find a more immersive and rewarding video game than real life.
You’ve been through the tutorial, beaten the puberty patch, and now you’re just about to embark on the main quest. There’s an infinite amount of skills waiting to be leveled up, you just have to go out there, and do it. You have to take action.
You’re starting a new chapter of your life, so make it a good one. Create something that you can look back on in 5, 10 or even 50 years and be proud of.
Think about how different your life will be if you make this decision today. How much smarter, happier, fitter, and better off will you be if you start now? Start now.
Need More Help?
Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
Shapiro realized that the world his children are living in is much different than when he was growing up.
Their experiences are focused on digital media and he didn’t know how to deal with the issues that arose from that.
This is the first time in history where parents have to raise successful kids surrounded by technology.
So he set out on a journey to research and create the necessary tools to understand an electronic world.
Raise Successful Kids: Step 1
First, you have to understand technology, video games, and social media. It’s no longer optional to avoid the conversation around screen time.
You need to be able to guide them through this new age and manifest your ethical vision of the world.
You need to get involved with your children and learn how to use the same tools that they’re growing up with.
It’s important to have the right attitude as you walk through this digital landscape to raise successful kids.
Responsible Use of Video Games
While struggling through a divorce, Shapiro’s children were using video games as an outlet for their problems. But, he had to ensure that they didn’t become dependent on the online world for solutions.
He realized that he didn’t want it to become an escape.
To counteract this, he played video games with his kids. It sounds counter-intuitive, but you have to remember that children want to be like their parents.
By playing these games, he was able to control how often they were played and it became a tool to bond as a family.
While her son was out she logged onto his account and tried to play. It was a terrible experience. Quickly she was exposed to trash-talk and hate messages for being a bad player.
In order to avoid having your child become addicted to gaming in their formative years, Jordan recommends starting much earlier in the child’s life.
The sooner you can start to build positive habits the faster they will develop healthy attitudes towards digital media.
This is easiest to do during the phase your children want to mimic you.
Originally Shapiro’s children wouldn’t come to the dinner table when they were asked. But after years of building habits they eventually started changing their attitude.
Now, it isn’t even an issue trying to get them to listen to him. If you try to do this with a 13 year old it becomes much, much harder.
What If Gaming Is Already an Issue?
If you’re struggling with a game-addicted child become interested in what they’re doing.
Ask them why they’re playing and what’s happening in the game. Ask them to tell you about the decisions they make and how it affects the game.
This helps to shift gaming from an escape, towards being an activity you can talk about as a family. As rapport improves between you and your child, you will be able to start helping them build healthier habits with gaming.
You don’t have to like the game, but there’s a difference between disagreeing with your child and trying to have a genuine discussion with why they like the game.
There’s a whole world of online media that parents wouldn’t believe existed, even if you showed it to them.
The craze of YouTubers, Twitch Streamers, memes, and much more.
The biggest example of this is the YouTuber “PewDiePie”“.
Children are sitting down and watching videos such as his “meme review” almost religiously.
How are you supposed to help your kids if you’ve got no idea what they’re doing in the first place?
Try asking them to tell you which videos they’re watching and why.
Instill a voice of reason in their head, so that you don’t have to constantly tell them to stop.
Raise Successful Kids: Shift Your Focus
We tend to fixate on how many hours of screen time should my kid have each day? How long have they been playing video games?
You have to remember that it’s not just about hours, it’s about everything surrounding it.
Jordan’s attitude towards his kids has always been that you have to go outside, read books, and talk to real people, and if you can still play games for a few hours after that… then there’s a bigger problem we need to address.
After hearing his child laughing to himself late one night, Jordan wanted to why.
He didn’t instantly shut off the internet as many parents would do. Instead, he asked his child what time he thinks is reasonable to go to sleep.
His son replied 10pm. So Jordan introduced an automatic cut-off for wifi in the house at 10pm each night.
By going through this process, and not being reactive, he allowed his son to make the decision and included him in the conversation.
It stops them from feeling belittled by your choice to talk to them, which only makes them go on the defensive.
A lot of children might feel bad about playing too many video games. It’s your responsibility as a parent to make sure they feel respected, and that they have a voice. Allow them to feel people are willing to listen if there’s a safe space at home to do so.
Shapiro notes that he’s mindful about his own technology in his household, but not necessarily for his children.
Through his actions and decisions, he tells them what they need to be doing and how to have a healthy relationship with technology.
He thinks that these devices are great for connection, efficiency, and developing social skills. But if that pulls him away from being present, that’s when he knows it’s an issue.
Using the example of friends coming over to play, Shapiro states that his children can’t just play video games when their friends come to visit.
They should have real conversations while in-person and they can keep in touch with each other via technology.
To raise successful kids is about being mindful of living in the present moment. It’s about realizing that if your child has a problem, it’s more likely that you have a problem too.
I just finished my 9-day social media and email fast.
And it was even better than I expected.
Significantly easier, much more satisfying, and even more relaxing than what I was hoping for.
I was nervous to do this because my business depends entirely on my contact with my audience.
If I’m not posting content – on social media or sending emails – I’m not getting new clients.
But I knew I had a problem…
I Was Always on My Phone
In between sets at the gym, stopped at a red light, taking a leak in the middle of the night, it didn’t really matter – I was always on my phone.
All because I got a constant dopamine hit from it.
My twitter account is active enough that every single time I hit “refresh” on the notifications, there’s something new – even if I just refreshed a few seconds ago.
Any time I wanted to, I could pull that proverbial lever and get a punch of dopamine to my brain.
The problem is, like any other addiction, I was needing more intense stimuli to get the same effect. Likes and retweets were no longer enough – it had to be comments or quote tweets.
If my open rate on emails wasn’t high enough I was discouraged and my mood was affected for the day. These are similar symptoms to people who have TikTok brain.
If an Instagram post had fewer than 400 likes I was so frustrated that I was ready to just bag that medium altogether.
I was no longer in control of social media – it was in control of me.
I needed to step back and recalibrate.
Social Media Detox
When I first decided to do this I was planning on it being incredibly difficult.
And it wasn’t.
It helped that my first full day was also a day in which I had a client in town and shopping so all of my mental energy was there.
And day two was a Sunday where I was already used to logging out of this stuff on Sundays to spend more time with family.
But Monday rolled around and, surprisingly, it really wasn’t that tough.
I got a lot of actual work done because I wasn’t able to push it aside and procrastinate on Twitter.
I learned quickly that, as important as creating content and marketing are, I’d allowed them to become a crutch.
Why focus on the tedious, long-term things of my business when it was much more enjoyable and super easy to justify the work of creating more content?
It was work after all, but it often came at the expense of other things that were equally (if not more) important but weren’t as fun or as urgent.
Monday night I realized I was enjoying the process when we met my parents to pick up my kids.
They’d taken them for a couple of days and we were meeting up with them at a Wendy’s halfway between us to make the pass off.
We’d been in the restaurant for nearly 45 minutes before I realized I’d left my phone in the car and hadn’t even missed it.
That was a fantastic feeling.
It Wasn’t All Fun, but…
There were a couple of times throughout the week where I’d catch myself sitting in my office and realize that I’d just been sitting there thinking for half an hour.
There were still too many times throughout the week that I’d check my phone for notifications out of pure habit.
And the last two days were actually really hard compared to anything prior.
If you plan on doing this yourself, I definitely recommend keeping some books or magazines in the bathroom during the first couple of days.
But all in all, it was totally worth doing.
So much so that I’m not adding these apps back onto my phone.
No I’m not leaving social media and I’ll be back to writing more frequent emails, but I’m not adding any of my social apps back onto my phone.
By just keeping them on my iPad, it means I only use them when I want to.
They won’t get in the way of date nights, or gym sessions, or traffic, or any of the other stuff that really should be getting my full attention.
I’m excited about that balance.
Tanner Guzy is the author of The Appearance of Power and a men’s style coach. He teaches men how to improve their lives by learning how to dress better. He’s based out of Salt Lake City, Utah where he lives with his wife and four kids.
I have been gaming my entire life. It has always been my true passion.
I’ve had other hobbies over the years to make my life more interesting and meaningful, but gaming has always been the thing I went back to.
I don’t regret this time. I have fond memories of playing multiplayer games with friends and cousins, and finishing single-player games with my younger brother watching.
I loved spending summers playing immersive role-playing games. I had a ton of fun in university playing multiplayer games; sharing adventures with online friends, being a valued member of my guild, and becoming a part of gaming communities.
Despite having spent so much time playing video games, I always had the discipline to not let them get the best of me.
I did well in school. I completed my master’s degree. I held several jobs and never had trouble keeping my bosses happy, or being a responsible adult.
I even got a girlfriend eight years ago who I’m now engaged to.
If gaming hasn’t ruined my life, why would I want to stop in the first place?
My Health Started to Suffer
As my interests in video games became more hardcore, it became difficult to find time to play without frustration.
With my work, relationship and other responsibilities, I didn’t time to play as much as I would have liked.
This worked surprisingly well for a long time.
A few hours every day spent playing during free time, or a Sunday afternoon here and there…
It still amounted to dozens of hours every month – just enough to keep up to date with the latest and most interesting releases in gaming for the past few years. I’d switch to a new game every few days or weeks, depending on the time it took to beat them.
In the case of games that you can’t really beat, spending enough time with them to get the gist, until you get bored and try something else.
But constantly being mentally stimulated and stressed about making the most of every single minute of free time, thinking about gaming all the time, normal responsibilities as an adult, and everything else life requires became stressful.
Both my mental and physical health began steadily declining.
I’m already spending all my day at work in front of a computer, and I’m doing the same at home when I’m gaming.
Every muscle in my body seems to be tense all the time, and I suffer from severe back pain.
Mentally I am a mess. Recently I started suffering from insomnia and panic attacks; I have more trouble concentrating, and feel like it’s almost impossible for me to just relax.
I feel irritable and depressed all the time and nothing about life seems fun or exciting anymore, even video games.
One Day I Would Have to Say Farewell
Maybe some part of me always knew this day would come, but I don’t really enjoy video games anymore.
A few years ago my girlfriend went abroad for work. This left me with a lot of free time.
I had the idea of building a new gaming computer. I also purchased a Nintendo Switch to make the most of it. It was a lot of fun!
I played different games and got back into pure hardcore gaming. I took my passion to new heights and I loved every minute of it.
I beat the most epic boss fights by finishing the Dark Souls series and Hollow Knight. I explored the galaxy in Elite Dangerous, and sunk countless hours into Civilization VI.
I challenged myself with hardcore games like Celeste and Darkest Dungeon, and even tried to see why Fortnite is so popular by finishing an entire season.
I played the most incredible and immersive modern open-world games the world has ever known, and got completely lost in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.
I got a rush from the past and became overwhelmed with nostalgia by beating the greatest challenges Super Mario Odyssey and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild had to offer.
I took a look at the future of gaming by dabbling in virtual reality with an HTC VIVE.
I even got back into World of Warcraft – the game I spent the most time of my life on. After leveling up and exploring new zones, I took screenshots and explored old content before my subscription ran out.
Being a Field Photographer I gained achievements for exploration, as if I knew that this was some kind of farewell trip…
There’s Only so Much You Can Take
Like all the ones that came before, these memories are a part of me now and I will always cherish the music, stories, characters, environments, and mechanics that made all those games so great. But, there are only so many times you can save the world before you become cynical about it.
There are only so many seemingly impossible platforming challenges or difficult boss-fights you can overcome before you start becoming anxious and nervous about having to do it again.
How many epic hundred-hour open-world adventures can you finish before you’d rather not start another one from the beginning?
I am getting too old for gaming. I want to save my physical and mental health because I clearly reached my limit.
I plan on doing the 90 day detox which I will start today. It will finish on June 8th, 2019.
It’s Time to Level up in Real Life
I will use this time to focus on other hobbies I have; music production, photography, and video editing. All of which will benefit from my current gaming computer.
I will spend time renovating my home, and doing other stuff I never got around to doing these past few months.
I will get a Kindle and spend some time reading.
I will spend more time with my incredible fiancée who shows her love for me every day.
I’m tired of that voice inside my head telling me that I’m bored with her and that I would rather be gaming.
I am tired of thinking about gaming all the time and of challenging myself artificially on top of all the actual meaningful challenges life throws at you anyway on a daily basis.
I am tired of being depressed and bored all the time.
I am tired of being tired from gaming too much.
My 90 day challenge starts today.
Wish me luck.
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SHARE this story to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
Ready to quit gaming?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
Before addictive games like Fortnite and Apex Legends, we had PlayerUnknowns Battleground, and “PUBG” addiction.
After its release in 2017 PUBG quickly became by far, the most popular game in the world. Two years later and it still remains a powerhouse in the gaming world.
It has become so bad in India that a 20-year-old boy recently died after prolonged play over 45 days and suffering severe nerve damage1919.20 Year Old Boy From Telangana Dies While Playing The Battle Royale Game×
. This has led to extreme measures to be put in place, such as locking users out of the game if they play for more than 6 hours in one day .
The game isn’t showing any signs of losing its player base, and PUBG addiction is as widespread now as it has ever been.
What is PUBG?
Rating: Teen due to violence and blood
Cost: $29.99/£26.99 or free for PUBG Mobile (both versions also contain loot-boxes)
PLAYERUNKNOWN’S BATTLEGROUNDS pits up to 100 players against one another in a winner-take-all, kill-or-be-killed battle royale. Where your main goal is to simply outlive the competition.
After being air-dropped onto an isolated island, you’ll have to rely on skill and luck as you scavenge what tools and equipment you can from the surrounding area in order to survive.
Of course, you’re not the only one in this game.
Other players are also searching for the right tools to take you out as well. It’s not just the other competitors you’ll have to contend with, either. The border of the play area sporadically shrinks, forcing players to occasionally sprint to a new section of the map or get trapped out of bounds.
Warning Signs of PUBG Addiction
Video game addiction is a real mental health condition recognized by the World Health Organization. They have a set of three criteria as warning signs:
Impaired control: Your gamer is unable to control or limit their gameplay.
Loss of interest in other activities: Your gamer’s life revolves around gaming instead of gaming revolving around their life.
Continuing to play despite negative impact: Gaming is causing significant harm to their school grades, employment, or relationships.
These are the three biggest warning signs for PUBG addiction, but there are others as well, such as being deceptive, experiencing withdrawal symptoms, using gaming to escape, or being unable to focus without playing games.
To learn more about the severity of your problem, take our quiz:
As the mobile version of the game is so easy to get a hold of, it’s possible for children to spend a lot of money on the game unknowingly.
Not long ago a 15-year-old boy stole over $700 from his father’s bank account to buy loot-boxes.
While you’re able to earn loot-boxes by playing the game, you can only unlock a small number in one week. If you want to open more, it will cost $2.50 to purchase a key. The only purpose of these loot-boxes is to unlock cosmetic items that have no impact on gameplay. Skins can also be used for gambling.
On top of this, you can spend money to level up your character and unlock new dances, weapon designs, and celebrations.
For example, you can purchase a Survivor Pass for $10 (similar to Fortnite‘s Battle Pass), to level up faster by completing challenges.
Subsequently, you can spend up to $50 at a time to instantly gain levels up to a maximum of 100. There are different price points, but it generally works out at $1 per level.
Research has found loot boxes to be psychologically the same as gambling, and parents should not allow loot boxes to be purchased.
Step 1: Limit gaming. If your son is over 12 years old bring gaming down to two hours or less each day. Require homework and exercise to be complete first before any access is granted. You may find it helpful to create a family screen time contract.
Step 2: Find more activities. Here is a list of replacement activities. Keep gaming from being the only thing they do. Make sure they are spending more time outside in nature, increase their face-to-face interactions, and find competitive outlets such as sports.
Step 3: Improve communication. Stop calling them an addict. Whether they are or not, this only creates more conflict in the family. Remember that rapport creates trust, trust creates leverage, and leverage is required for influence. Spend more time together hiking or doing activities together on the weekends. Consider changing up your communication and parenting styles.
Implement these strategies and they will help you turn your child’s PUBG addiction around. For additional support to help your loved one, purchase a copy of our video game addiction guide for parents and loved ones.
We don’t know much about the service yet, but consider it a Netflix for gaming. Built into your web browser, Stadia will allow you to stream games whenever you want.
While this is an advancement for the gaming industry, it’s terrible news for those who struggle who suffer from an addiction.
It will be hard to keep gaming out of your life.
What is Google Stadia?
Stadia will allow users to play their favourite games with little more than an internet connection and a controller.
The games will be streamed from Google’s data centers around the globe in 4K resolution and 60fps. The service will be integrated with Google Chrome and YouTube.
According to Google’s Phil Harrison; “‘Stadia’ is meant to reflect that it will be a collection of entertainment, which the viewer can choose to sit back and watch, or take an active part in.”
Google is pursuing the community aspect of gaming, allowing users to share their experiences with each other with less friction.
Players can livestream their gameplay footage directly to YouTube. Anyone watching the livestream can then choose to launch that game instantly, without having to download it. They can even carry on from the same point they were watching from.
Stadia is a console built for the YouTube generation.
The Future of Cloud Gaming
Unsurprisingly, Google isn’t the only major company trying to enter the cloud gaming market.
Amazon, Microsoft, Sony, Valve and even Electronic Arts will release their own cloud-based gaming services soon.
Soon you will hear of Project xCloud, Project Atlas, and LOUDPLAY as game companies make an international push to make gaming available to as many people as possible.
For example, India has grown to one of the five largest mobile gaming markets in the world, with over 222 million gamers. However PUBG addiction has become a country wide epidemic.
Should Parents Be Worried?
One of the biggest issues is that gaming has become normalized. Everyone is a gamer these days.
It’s important as parents to control what games your children play, and to use parental controls within those games.
Is this a foolproof solution to the problem? No. Restrictions like that will always have a workaround, especially as the service will be accessible on almost every computer and mobile device (Windows and Android only).
Until we know more about Stadia we recommend following the principles outlined in our video game addiction guide for loved ones. Tackle this issue before it becomes a problem!
The rise of PUBG addiction in India is one of the most shocking examples of gaming being taken too far.
It’s become an epidemic in India, receiving a huge amount of attention from the press.
The government has even attempted to put a stop to the problem, but with little success.
As I’m writing this, somewhere in the country there’s a child with a smartphone in their hands, trying to convince their parents that there are much worse things to be addicted to.
While that may be true, it doesn’t take away from the fact that PUBG addiction is having a catastrophic effect on today’s youth of India.
Why Are Kids Addicted to PUBG?
As a member of the Game Quitters community myself, I can empathize with being completely oblivious to the effect of video games on our daily lives.
We all remember how hooked we were when we played our first online multiplayer game.
There’s nothing like that dopamine surge you get from the thrill and excitement of gaming. The same can be said here in this scenario.
In India many kids and college students have fallen prey to PUBG Mobile; most likely due to the easy accessibility of the game.
You no longer need to have an expensive gaming PC or console to play, just a smartphone and mobile data (which is currently very cheap thanks to a cellular company called Jio).
Number of smartphone users in India from 2015 to 2022 (in millions)*
A woman told the Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, that her son used to be good in school but is now completely engaged in his smartphone and online gaming. This is just one parent among many others who are worried about their boys.
There are many more overlooked factors such as anxiety and depression, personality changes, and other health and social problems associated with gaming addiction.
A friend of mine told me that a guy living in his neighbourhood was addicted to PUBG, and had a mental breakdown after an argument with his parents. He ran away from home without letting anyone know.
I used to believe that this was just a temporary trend of gaming and people will just get bored with it, but I was wrong.
Seeing all of this happening makes me sad and concerned about the youth of the country.
Even the PUBG founder had set the game time limit to 6 hours per day. But, is that really a viable solution? Apparently not, because it was removed shortly thereafter amongst outrage.
Moving Toward Solutions
Do we blame the Indian Government? Parents? Gaming addicts? The makers of PUBG?
Or, do we need to take a step back and address the addictive nature of these video games, which are now proliferating like bacteria to our mobile devices and getting us hooked?
In my opinion, the best way to come out of all of this is to be more self-aware and mindful of our own gaming and technology use. We need to come together and treat this as a real issue so we can combat it collectively.
Only then can we start getting the systems in place to deal with the problem, instead of implementing temporary fixes such as bans.
I just want to say thank you to Cam for allowing me to share my story of what’s happening in India, and I hope that it helps you understand that the issue of video game addiction is widespread across the world.
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Ready to quit gaming?
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The idea of deleting your Steam account permanently would terrify most people.
Given how much money is usually spent acquiring a huge array of games – 98% of which you’d never play – it’s not surprising.
But, what if you’ve decided that enough is enough.
What if you’ve realised; you’re not most people.
You’ve taken our quiz, you know you’re addicted to games. Well, what now?
One of the first steps you should take into the world of quitting video games is to take away anything that may trigger you into playing.
This can include anything from gaming soundtracks, Twitch streams , Youtube videos, or more likely deleting your Steam account.
It’s much easier to resist the urge to play games if there are no more games for you to play.
In the past, You had to go through the process of using a 10-minute mail account and changing your personal details to something completely random. Thus, locking you out of your account.
While this worked in practice, it was easy to bypass. Either via account recovery or PayPal details.
Fortunately, Steam introduced a super simple way for you to delete your steam account. Permanently.
How to Delete Your Steam Account
Follow these steps:
Step 1: Open up Steam.
Step 2: Go to the menu at the top-right, where it says your name, and click on “Account Details”.
Step 3: Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and click on “Delete My Steam Account”.
Step 4: The next page will give you some information on how the process will work.
Simply put, there are 3 steps:
Fill in and send the verification form
Steam will send you a message confirming the process
After 30 days your account is deleted
The hard part is resisting the urge to game for 30 days. If you have no idea what to do, download our list of over 60 hobbies that you can get involved with right away.
Also, there’s a link to the FAQ section of the process. However, I’d recommend not reading it, as it doesn’t provide much useful information, and is more likely to make you change your mind if you spend too long on the process.
Step 5: Finally, proceed to account deletion. You’ll see a form that asks for the earliest e-mail address and phone number on your account. As well as a box for you to write a message in.
Interestingly, I wrote that I had an issue with gaming and needed to get away from it before it destroys my life. When Steam support wrote back to me, they wrote a heartfelt note wishing me the best in life and good luck on my journey.
Whoever is in charge of hiring staff deserves a raise.
Step 6: Once you’re done, hit send and voila! You’re all sorted.
Bonus: Now, remember to uninstall Steam from your computer, and do everything you can to avoid playing again.
Ready to quit gaming?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
The game that took hours of my life and made me return again and again was Lineage 2. I was drawn to the fantasy world of elves and dragons.
I used to play it in high school using the PC that my parents had gifted to me for my studies. Several times I stopped playing because of my exams and every time I returned.
There was a period of my life when I needed to find a job. I spent a lot of effort trying to pass software development interviews in order to get a good position. To make time to prepare for the interviews I quit Lineage 2.
After a while, I downloaded it again. It didn’t work on my PC anymore so I considered it a sign that I should stop playing the game and forgot about it for years.
Besides, I didn’t have the time to sit in front of my computer to play video games. I wanted a more active life.
Then I Got a Smartphone
After a couple of days using my new phone I discovered Lineage 2 Revolution. While remembering all of the great moments I had from Lineage 2 nostalgia got the best of me and I downloaded it.
I enjoyed the process of playing it wherever possible: on the bus, in queues, while eating, during meetings with friends, and even during work!
Every day I became more and more addicted to the game.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but the game was P2W: Pay-to-Win. The more you invest (financially) in the game, the easier it is for you to win. I spent some money in the game, a little amount, just to thank the game developers, but I did not want to spend thousands of dollars as top players allowed themselves.
I tried to reach a gap in combat power between me and top players by doing all of the daily activities. One day I joined a powerful clan that motivated me to play more and more. But I was still worse than average.
First, I am annoyed by lugs and bugs in the game. I hate the rat race to get more and more combat power, and I don’t like the aggressive ways that the game creators make us spend an unreasonable amount of time and money.
I feel like I’m in a prison cell.
Instead of doing things that can help me to improve myself in my life such as painting, piano, and reading books, I must complete the game’s quests every day. If I don’t complete them today, then tomorrow it will be too late, and I’ll lose an opportunity to become a little bit stronger than I was yesterday. My friends and, even worse, my enemies will be ahead of me.
I want to stop it. Today is the day when I will say “goodbye” to my clan mates. I don’t care that I still have five days left on my subscription, or that I only need five more coins to upgrade my Lion mount from grade R to SR, or even that if I spend one more month in the game then I can upgrade my Strider mount from grade S to R.
I don’t want to spend any more time in the rotten fantasy world of Lineage 2 Revolution.
It doesn’t make me happier, and it definitely doesn’t make me better.
Thank you for reading.
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Ever wondered how to quit playing League of Legends?
How many times have you come in from school or work, only to remember that you still need to get your daily reward on League of Legends?
How many times have you gone to get your daily reward, only to lose four games in a row (due to bad teammates) and before you know it… it’s 1am?
Now your assignment is overdue, you’re in a bad mood, and you’re not going to get any sleep anyway, so you might as well keep playing.
Sound familiar?
I’ve lost count of the number of times this has happened to me.
There’s something about League of Legends that keeps you coming back; despite making you feel angry, bitter, and stressed. It’s impossible to ask someone about the game without them mentioning how toxic it is. Not just the game, but the community as well.
You didn’t gank mid at the right time? Didn’t pull blue? Forgot to buy pots when you backed? Be prepared for shouting, insults, and even death threats.
What effect do you think this kind of stimulation is having on your mind?
If you want to learn how to quit League of Legends because you’re sick of being angry for no reason, or tired of waking up at 1 PM because you’ve been playing all night, then you’re in the right place.
Typical Advice Doesn’t Work
If someone is overweight, what do people tell them to do? Move more, eat less.
If you’re depressed people say you should eat healthier, sleep more, and do some exercise.
If you want to quit playing League of Legends, what kind of advice do you think you’d get from people?
“Why don’t you just stop playing? It’s not even very good anyway.”
People in that situation don’t understand. They can’t understand.
They don’t know what it feels like to have an urge so strong to play that you can’t resist it even if you try. At the same time, you don’t even know why you have that urge.
You don’t like playing the damn game. It’s not fun anymore. Yet you keep coming back again and again.
My League of Legends Addiction
I kept coming back to League of Legends because all of my friends played it. I didn’t really enjoy the game, but I was good at it.
This led to me playing the game for hours on end, sometimes up to 12 hours a day, despite not having any fun.
I used to justify this by telling myself that I was laughing a lot, and I had always had fun with my friends. But it’s easy to laugh. It’s easy to feel a part of something when it’s so ingrained into who you are.
Even after I decided to quit gaming, my addiction to League of Legends was the biggest hurdle to overcome.
I’d get messages from my friends on Discord saying they needed me to fill in. My favourite positions as well, mid and ADC, to try and entice me.
I was back to playing League of Legends all the time. My mental health declined rapidly, and I ended up sabotaging all of my personal relationships.
So if League of Legends is so hard to quit, how did I do it?
How I Quit League of Legends
In my experience, quitting League of Legends was a lot harder than any other game. As a result, I decided not to quit gaming straight away.
I did what I like to call a ‘Priming Period’.
I would continue to play video games for 30 days, but I wouldn’t play any League of Legends.
After the 30 days were up, I then quit gaming entirely for 90 days.
For me, this was a necessary step.
On top of this priming period I also recommend you do the following:
1. Be Honest
Have an honest conversation with your friends about why you’re quitting gaming. Let them know that you can still be friends, but ask them to stop talking about video games while you’re around.
That goes for Discord, too. Gaming might not be an issue for them, but they should respect your decision.
You might feel hesitant to start learning some of these hobbies. Perhaps you’re anxious about meeting new people. This is perfectly normal and is something that everyone experiences.
Start small. Commit to one or two new things to try. If you hate it, try something else. But remember it’s going to be a constant struggle to improve, and you’ll have to start somewhere.
3. Take This Seriously
It’s a big mindset shift to make, but a necessary one. You’re no longer a gamer who plays video games. You’re becoming a new person.
If you want to become a musician, a writer, a computer scientist, or whatever. Start telling people that. If you’re going to the gym, don’t be shy about telling people.
People think that playing video games is lazy, but that’s so far from the truth. You’re able to play for hours on end without losing focus. That doesn’t sound lazy to me.
Just imagine what you could do if you channelled that energy into leveling up your own life. You’d become a whole new person after three months, and your old gamer friends still playing League? They probably won’t recognize you anymore.
Start Today
I hope this has given you some ideas on how to quit League of Legends. Use this motivation to become something better.
What would it look like if you got YOUR ultimate? What would it look like if you were the hero you were playing?
Making money, being in great shape, mastering an instrument, or finding love are a lot more impressive to me than a Penta Kill.
You are in charge of your future. Go get it!
For more tips and practical strategies to quit gaming, grab a copy of Respawn. It’s the ultimate guide to quitting video games and will help you take your life to the next level.
My name is Jeroen, and I’m an addict. Well, I used to be.
Today I am a Belgian personal coach and IT student, I am 24 years old and I used to game 10 hours a day whenever I had the time.
In high school I didn’t really have to work very hard to get decent grades. Well, for the first few years at least. When I was 17 I had to stay in the same grade for another year, due to poor grades – mainly caused by my severe gaming addiction.
I would wake up early and game a bit before going to school. At school I would think about gaming and my goals (in the game), finally return home, and continue gaming until my parents arrived from work. I ate my dinner and then went back to my room, gaming until bedtime. Rinse and repeat. This was my typical day from the age of 14 until I was 21.
Gaming Had a Huge Impact on My Life
While there are negative influences that came from gaming, it did also have its benefits.
Gaming was an escape. I used to get bullied in high school, and that’s exactly when the addiction became out of control. Through my game I could stop thinking about the bullying and other stuff that troubled my mind. Online I was just an anonymous boy. I could be anyone, and I was respected (most of the time).
At one point I was so good at RuneScape that I was ranked 25th best in the world in PVP. This is the kind of hype that kept me drawn to gaming. The progress and sense of achievement is what makes gaming so addictive. The unlimited amount of dopamine that’s sitting right in front of you.
While in college, and getting my Physical Education Degree, I had some experiences that caught my attention and got me away from gaming.
My favorite experience was the 6 month Erasmus studies I did in Denmark. While being there we had a lot of little projects, and I got to meet new people and interact with several different nationalities. It was a very cool experience, and it kept me from gaming. I think the main reason here was the fact that I actually felt useful, and I could really contribute to a lot cool projects that also had social value.
I’ve always been fortunate to have good friends around me and caring parents. I played soccer and went to the gym. These are things that really helped me when gaming started taking full control of my life. I mean there were still bad parts, where I would game 10-12 hours a day for a week, which is very unhealthy, but without sports or friends, it could have been a lot worse.
Is Productivity Sustainable?
3 months after my Erasmus experience I graduated college as a sports teacher and fitness instructor. I got my first job, and started my own business on the side as a personal trainer. The first month when I graduated I actually spent a lot of time gaming between looking for a job. Luckily it didn’t take me to long to find one.
When I signed my contract I made big decision. I was going to put all of my effort and time into this job, and creating my own business. Not one minute would be wasted. I was going to be successful in real life. I had never been so motivated.
6 months later I soon realized that this was not a sustainable pace to live my life. I would wake up at 07:00, workout, work on the business, go to work, and get home at 23:00. I also had to work weekends.
Most people would say I was doing amazing. Freshly graduated, got a decent paying job, and I was growing my own business on the side. What else could a man wish for, right? Well, that’s not entirely true. I just didn’t feel too well. The long hours, and tons of physical activity started taking its toll. I would have the worst migraines in the middle of the day, and sometimes even get dizzy when I stood up. I realized I was working too much and it was hard on my body.
Finding Balance
I needed to take some time to relax. Life is not just about working your butt off and making money, it’s about balance. Doing what you love, working on projects you’re passionate about, spending enough time with friends and family, watching a Netflix movie, or any other things that you may enjoy.
After spending 7 months without watching TV or playing a single video game, I started watching some Netflix shows and started gaming. Not when I had other things to do, but when I felt like I deserved it. I think gaming and watching TV are a good activity if they actually help you relieve stress and if you enjoy it. But one thing I have learned is that it is all about moderation and balance.
I quit my job as a fitness instructor 4 months ago. I decided to go back to college to become a front-end developer. This course will take me 3 years, but I know it’s the right choice. I am still working as a personal trainer for my own business, which I really like because I help people become more active. The goal is to one day combine these passions of mine and make a living out of them both. These goals are what keep me going.
This is my story, and this what I have learned from my addiction. I wanted to share this with you guys who are suffering from something like I did or who have been through this as well.
Join our Movement
SHARE this story to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
Ready to quit gaming?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
I haven’t played a video game in two years and counting.
Quitting video games isn’t an unlocked achievement I put in my trophy cabinet to never think of it again. It’s an endurance training program. The goal of my program isn’t summarized in fighting back the craving every time I feel it until I win and relax (and repeat) – it’s how I don’t get used to relaxing because you never know when your gaming addiction will sneak back into your daily life.
I don’t mean that I’m at war 24/7 with myself, sweating anxiety and panic attacks. Things get easier when you do them on a regular basis. Gaming and not gaming follow the same rule.
My Gaming Addiction Started at 8 Years Old
My gaming addiction started at 8 years old with Counter Strike. I loved how you could work as a team to achieve a common goal and have fun, show your abilities and self-declare ‘the best’. I desired to be the best at everything, recognized and valued.
As the majority of people who struggle with this addiction, I didn’t have an idea of how much games hooked me and made me believe they were the only ones who wanted to make me happy. When you’re a kid and a teenager, what matters is being recognized by groups. Why should I care about real life?
After Counter Strike I went to the world of MMORPGs. I still recall how sad I was because I couldn’t play a game because my PC specs were too low. At this time my parents never said a word about it – according to my mother, “it was fine because I wasn’t in danger outside.” We hardly knew the consequences of playing 10-12 hours per day.
I dedicated half my day, every day, for 15 years straight to playing MMORPGs. I felt I needed to play games for hours and hours – if not, someone would surpass me..
Grades Were Fine, Depression Was Not
Games were a piece of my heart and soul, but my school life remained intact. My grades were great, I talked to people (although being shy) and had a minimal social life outside academic walls. When I got transferred to another school at 14 years old I met a new friend named Depression. We held hands for 6 years.
I didn’t want to talk to people, not feeling understood by society. Depression was now friends with games too, who could tell…They seduced me to play MMORPGs over and over. At 18 years old, I went to college guided by my mom’s feelings. I don’t blame her – how could I if I simply shut down my mind to live in a virtual world?
“My decisions were based on how I could be better at games, not at real life.”
I wanted to overcome depression. I sought professional help with a psychologist. She recommended posting more on Facebook to start making friends and being visible to the real world. I can’t explain how a professional would recommend the virtual world as the solution to the virtual world itself. I felt misunderstood and undervalued.
Note: Do seek help. Only you can solve this mess, however don’t neglect professionals. There are good and bad ones. Find one that works for you.
Suicidal thoughts chimed in. I was nothing in real life. I wanted to be a gamer, one of those streaming on YouTube and Twitch, or a professional gamer, winning millions of dollars and proving that I was ‘the best’ to everyone. I even told my mom I wanted to be a gamer, she was like: “do whatever you want, but I don’t agree with it”. Of course I interpreted as my family was against me and my ‘dreams’.
At 20 years old I tried to stop playing games over and over, unsuccessful. At 23, I discovered Game Quitters. Someone decided to share his experience, to say we were not alone and yes, it was possible to stop for once and for all. I watched all the videos and interestingly, my doubts were answered where no one could help me.
November 1st, 2016: the last time I said ‘I won’t play games anymore’. Cold turkey, ‘all or nothing’. Each day taught me about who I was and what I could learn from others.
Not everyday is the same, so there isn’t a single formula to solve all your problems and questions. If you believe in a single formula, you get used to it. I adapted this sentence to ‘getting used’ to new experiences, solutions and interpretations about myself and my life everyday.
Even if you use an old formula today, you are actually using it for the first time. As, Heraclitus’ says: “no man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man”.
When I finally started to live this phrase, I got used to learning everyday, to use my addiction to learn about myself, and about itself. It was hard, shaking in my bed and the impossibility to think about anything outside ‘you have to play games, you are losing time’.
At 25 years old, reading books, walking for the sake of walking and gathering knowledge is what define me, for now. I study Psychology (oh the irony) because I love it, I want to help people live their lives with passion, with what they can and have in the real world. I’ve never been so happy and motivated in my whole life, virtual or real. I no longer waste so much time on Twitch or Reddit.
I have a path, I pursue goals, and I make decisions. Bad moments happen everyday, but now I have a choice in how I respond to them.
More than 2 years later, I still haven’t played games. I decided to quit games by sharing my story with you, as Cam shared his. Thank you, Cam.
Fifteen years later I see myself out of the world of games. As I said, I’m the ‘all or nothing’ person, dedicating my time and my life in goals that matter for the better of people. Please never give up. Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for those who choose to share their stories as well.
Join our Movement
SHARE this story to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
Ready to quit gaming?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
Playing games has been a huge part of my life since I was six years old. I started my gaming hobby at my early age, which later turned into addiction, from Playstation 1.
When I was first introduced to Playstation 1, the console looked nothing more than a mere gray plastic box which magically reads CD and displays moving pixels on TVs. Being a naive child I was at the time, I grew up fondly with Spyro, Crash Bandicoot, Tetris Plus, Pac-man World, and many more.
Time moved on, and the golden times of Nintendo Gameboy, DS and Sony’s PSP came. I remember how everyone in my elementary school had a Nintendo DS and we played Mario Kart together. I also borrowed my father’s PC to play Starcraft: Brood War, and Age of Empires III. Those two games would later define Real Time Strategy (RTS) as one of my favorite gaming genres.
Early Signs of Gaming Addiction
As I also had Playstation 2 and Nintendo Wii, I would go to a gaming store and buy around five games a week and play them one at a time. I remembered one moment where I woke up early in the morning everyday just to feed virtual dogs in Nintendogs. To this day I still cringe remembering that I would comply to my own addiction, and knowing that timed-event games just use their on-device clocks.
I carried my gaming hobby-turned-addiction to high school, where Starcraft II was recently launched. I was really happy at the time, and ended up playing the Wings of Liberty chapter immediately. This is where my addiction worsened. When I was on my campaign streak, my father came in and said something that would ring in my mind years later:
“You won’t achieve much of what you want in life if you keep on playing games. You are just sinking all of your time into games that do not translate into real life.”
Certainly I was pissed because he ‘ruined’ my gaming mood. I understood what my father was saying – I could be doing something more meaningful than just playing games. But if I stopped playing games, I would be losing one of my favorite hobbies since childhood. So I kept on playing quietly without my parents knowing.
Over the years, I also joined a band of friends playing Dragon Nest. I recalled the time where we spent sleepless days completing the highest raid available from 40 cap to 93 cap level era. I grinded gears, watched YouTube videos, read future content, and got as many achievements as I could in the game.
I did keep my school grades above requirements, but only for a short period. I was almost out of my mind at that time. I neglected my future academic life and only applied to one overseas university. The addiction hurt my grades badly and I barely passed my exams. Still, it was not the end of my gaming craze.
I Wanted to Quit Gaming
Before going to university, I said to myself I won’t be playing video games anymore. One of my friends just said “That’s BS, you’ll be playing again in a few months. Otherwise you’ll burn yourself out.” Again, I brushed it off as if nothing happened.
Before ‘cutting myself off’ from gaming, I went on a full-gaming month playing Tree of Savior. I slept from 2am to 10am and played the game as soon as I woke up. I made sure I got the most satisfaction out of gaming before quitting. After leveling up my character to level 200, I stopped playing, but only for only four months before buying Overwatch and getting addicted for another year.
Initially I was enjoying the game, reliving the fun I had playing games with friends. However, as Overwatch is an online multiplayer game which is heavily dependent on teammates’ performance, its nature slowly drew out the toxicity within me.
I would get frustrated and often blamed strangers on our team. I tried really hard to not blame my friends, accept criticism and feedback from them, although sometimes the toxicity still got the best of me. This would go on for weeks. I was sleep-deprived, frustrated, and wanting more of those PotGs and worthwhile wins. Looking back now, I am still happy (and surprised) I did not flunk my grades during my addiction.
This continued on until summer 2018. I was doing an internship at a startup, while all of my university friends were having internships at big and well-known companies. I felt inferior to them. I was not even enjoying my internship.
What was I doing in my life? Just play games and sink all of my time in them? Those thoughts haunted my mind, followed by the insulting jokes from my university friends. On top of that, my family notified me that my grandmother recently passed away. I cried that evening, thinking of how all the life events turned around against me at once. I was burned out from my internship, looked down upon my friends, and lost a family member whom I was very close to.
I felt worthless and depressed for two to three weeks. It was my lowest point in my university life. I was helpless, and decided to seek help and shoulder to lean on from my friends.
Suddenly… It Happened
I had no urge to play video games anymore. I stopped feeling guilty for not playing games. The whispers inside my head went from “Why are you not playing your games?” to “Those rewards and statistics you’re getting are meaningless in real life.”
One time my friend invited me to play Starcraft II and I joined. While I was clicking around, making buildings and controlling my army, I felt nothing. That proud feeling of having strong base and army, satisfaction when I crushed the enemy bases. Those feelings were just not there. I could not continue after around 20 minutes and I told my friend I was going to stop playing for a while. And that was the first day I stopped my addiction.
Results
Ever since I stopped my addiction, I have been meditating every morning, expanded my social circle with people and being in tune with my friends’ emotion. I listen more to my friends about their life and spend more time laughing with them. I also spend my time going out to live concerts, and I’m on my third book now.
Currently I am on exchange at a university with a rigorous Computer Science program. I struggled with the academics at first, and I felt like giving up. But I pushed on and kept going.
After getting a hang of my courses, I went on to meet people in tech events and conferences in various cities, while expanding my professional network. I also applied to tons of internships worldwide, and, to my surprise, I got my first interview offer from a well-known company. Even though I have not received the offer yet, I feel more confident in applying for internships around the world.
I was still shocked with the fact that anyone could achieve dreams that were once their fantasy. Applying for worldwide internships was never in my reachable goals while I was addicted to games.
What I am really grateful for is that, after putting my effort and time into real life, I get to see the tangible rewards and experience. My lifestyle and studying habits become more organized and productive. I become more confident. My emotions are more stable and I rarely lash out with anger at somebody else. Looking forward, I believe better things will come as long as I put in the effort into my life, families, and friends.
Conclusion
To those who are still struggling to end their addiction, I want to note that stopping addiction may happen differently for everyone. Some will stop when they are their rock bottom, and some will stop when shit just happens. Others will stop when they have something to fight for.
Stopping an addiction is not about ending the gaming streak glamorously, or saying “Just one more game and I’ll stop”.
It is about realizing the harsh truth, the negative impact you have been carrying along with your addiction. It is about confronting your real life fears. No more making excuses, no more what ifs, no more “what happens when I stop playing.” You need humility, mental resilience, and commitment. There will be people who disregard your addiction, and people who acknowledge your burden. Seek those who will help when you really need it.
I really hope what I share here will be an inspiration to those who are still finding the motivation to stop playing games and start a new phase in life. One way to picture life is as an MMORPG. You grind experience, develop skills, take on new challenges, and get the actual rewards. Real life, in my opinion, is more challenging, fulfilling, and rewarding if you put the necessary time and effort into it.
For those who are on their no-gaming streak, I also had moments where I relapsed within this period. I played some mobile games when I really had nothing to do and wanted to have a dopamine boost.
Upon playing for 15 minutes, I got bored, and uninstalled them immediately. Although I plan to play casual RTS games after my exchange, I also filled my future schedule with physical activities and socializing with my family because I know I get bored fast playing games now.
The important thing is when you realize that you can’t play games for extended hours without getting bored and you have more important things to do in life, you are already set for a better life.
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I booted up my computer. It was Friday and I had a lot of work to do, but hey, I kept the whole weekend free so it’s okay. I can start my work tomorrow, and play a game now. Before I knew it, it was 5:00 AM.
On Saturday I wouldn’t start on my university work either. I ate “brunch” at 2:00 PM and skipped dinner. I went to sleep at 7:00 AM on Sunday morning, and consequentially woke up at 2:00PM. By then I figured that my homework wouldn’t get done anyways, so I fired up my game. At 7:00AM on Monday “morning” I finally had a moment of clarity.
I Spent the Whole Weekend Gaming
I skipped half of my meals and also a night of sleep. I failed to do my homework. I failed. But this time I didn’t return to the cycle of addiction. Normally I’d focus my eyes at the screen again to escape thinking about my gaming behavior. A paradox, but I fear a recognizable one.
Instead of running from the “fact” that I failed again, I put into doubt that conclusion. Was it fair to conclude that I failed? “To fail” means that you do not reach a certain standard. In this case, a standard that is set by myself. And that I had not met my standard was crystal clear: instead of doing homework, I wasted the weekend on a stupid game.
But this mismatch can also mean that the standard is the problem. And it was. Perfectionism is the disease of our time, and I am no exception. I wanted my life to be perfect, and in “reaching higher”, I had put so much guilt on myself that I went into hiding. Games merely gave me shelter.
So when I played games during the weekend, I didn’t fail. Demanding that I would do homework for the whole weekend at home was a ridiculous idea. Maybe the most disciplined among us can do such a feat, but it’s human to fail such a task. My standards were making me feel miserable so I did away with them and looked at my life. Without a standard, and without judgement.
My Life Was Miserable
I felt depressed. I seldom saw friends, or did anything productive. I skipped half of my school classes. And I played games, a lot of. And now that I wasn’t trying to hide from my own judgement I could finally look at this without fear. It was emotionless, rational. Gaming had numbed all my feelings.
Now for a solution I figured it would be too much to ask to shut down my computer right away. It would also leave me with a poor sleep schedule, going to bed at 8:00AM. So I decided that today would be the last day that I gamed. I also decided it would be too much to ask to not game ever, at least right now, so I decided to task myself with not playing any games for 30 days, after today.
When I shut down my computer at 5:00PM I felt a weird kind of energy. It was going to happen. I was going to break the cycle. And I was going to focus on that. Starting slow and easy: my goals for tomorrow would be to get out of bed, take a shower and not play any games.
30 Days Without Games
The first day, Tuesday, was bad. Without my games there was no hiding from my loneliness. No reason to even get out of bed. No escape from the fact that I had about 3 weeks of homework waiting for me, due next week. But somehow I got out of bed and took a shower. Bought some breakfast at the grocery store, warmed up leftovers for dinner, and most of all, I didn’t play any games.
When I went to bed, for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt proud. Genuinely proud. And it felt weird, because by my previous standard I had achieved absolutely nothing. But for the first time in months, I made progress. And this feeling of achievement to look forward to is what got me through Wednesday. I was looking forward to lying in bed thinking: “today I didn’t play any video games”.
I Wrote My Family a Letter
On Thursday I decided that my parents and my brother should know about my situation. I shared details about my situation. About how terrible and lonely I felt. About my gaming addiction and interweaved depression, about my guilt. Writing this letter is one of the hardest things I did. It took me 2 days to write 500 words, but somehow I did it. I told my parents that I’d be coming home this weekend and I’d have something to tell them. They wouldn’t be too happy to hear that I might fail my class, but it had to be done.
I told my brother on Friday evening, I sent the letter to him online, and I called him on Skype. I read the letter to my parents on Saturday. I cried, my brother cried, my parents cried. But to have their support was important and the tears brought relief. With my parents watching me I made it through the weekend, and to my own shock that left me on Monday evening with the realization that I hadn’t played any games for a week.
Halfway through week three I was starting to struggle. The emptiness had caught up with me, and I still didn’t have a whole lot to do in my life. But I had something to look forward to.
I would go on a holiday to meet my brother who was studying abroad. I talked with him extensively about my problems, my addiction and depression. It made me understand my problems much clearer. And last, but not least, it was a break from doing nothing. Doing stuff is great, and my time with my brother was surrounded by his friends, whom I got along with.
With this newfound strength I finished the fourth week. My life slowly began to take shape. I went out for daily walks, I hung out with flat mates and I joined a club. Slowly but surely the void was filling. But also day 30 was coming up.
On day 32 I decided I’d play a game again, and it went quite well. I quit it exactly when I meant to. But on day 33 I didn’t. However I realized not all was lost. 30 days without gaming had taught me that there was something worth quitting for and I wrote a program that would shut down my computer if I exceeded a time that I set for myself. With this “gaming-clock” it was possible to moderate.
However I made sure that I kept filling the void. I signed up for a sport (a team sport!) and another club. I hung out with friends and flatmates. I even started being productive again. And by asking myself every time before I turned on the PC: “Is there something I could do that would make me happier?”, the time that I spent gaming decreased. And with that for the first time that year I saw a glimmer of happiness. But then Christmas came.
Christmas is great right? Well not for me. The holidays broke my rhythm completely and I stayed at my parents where there’s a whole lot of nothing to do. I went back to gaming out of boredom and frustration. It took me quite a while to recover, but the 30 days clean and subsequent introspection gave me the tools to do so. I never sunk as deep as I had in October. By February I returned to my schedule. Whether or not you beat an addiction is decided by how you bounce back.
In March I got a part-time job which started to take up more and more time, to my liking. With school I was starting to become a “busy” person. Things were looking up again. I started being invited to parties, being the “fun” person I once was. It’s funny to look at my calendar and seeing it fill up from February to now, getting busier and busier.
I had some more minor setbacks, but in general I always made more steps forward than backwards – progress. I filled up the summer holidays with trips funded by my job and I met a wonderful girl. (Too late) I consulted a psychologist who diagnosed me with “depression in remission”. And that brings me to today.
One Year Later
Today it has been a year since I made that decision on Monday the 9th. A year since my moment of clarity. A year since the best decision in my life. And for the occasion I wanted to write out my story. To tell you, StopGaming, because hanging out in the discord is one of the many things that filled the void initially. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one kept me from going insane.
I hope my story helps at least one person. I wrote the whole story, not only the end result. Because I wanted to be more insightful. I wanted to explain how I was finally able to decide that it’s enough. And how I followed through on it, with both the ups and downs.
Questions I wish I would have been able to ask the future me a year ago:
Do I really have a problem? Yes. Unfortunately. You’re not a crazy person though, it’s common enough. And you can get out of it. But not without work and pain. Take it seriously, never let your guard down.
Shouldn’t I set myself the goal of never playing a video game again, instead of 30 days? If you can do that, go for it. But it is crucial that you believe, truly believe in your goal. 30 days seems like a good place to start for now. You can also do 30 and then evaluate!
What on earth do I do with my time? It doesn’t matter. Before you know it, another day is gone. But don’t play any games. In general: put effort into upgrading the quantity and quality of your activities and you’ll see that eventually your calendar starts to fill with appointments, meetings and parties. (There are a ton of ideas for new activities here.)
Is school important? School can help you get into a rhythm. Having some kind of rhythm is vital to recovery, attending a class in this respect is more important than finishing an assignment, because it gives a rhythm to your day. Recovery is the main objective, grades will come eventually. Contact your school about your problems (at least in my country they are understanding).
When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel? You won’t. It’s as if somebody slowly turns off the dimmer on a light. First you’ll see where you are, and then you’ll realize this place isn’t so bad after all.
What is the one thing you’d want to say to me? You don’t have to do it alone. Call your brother, tell your friends and go in therapy. And when you feel bad, tell someone before you feel the urge to fire up a game. And when you do feel an urge to, ask yourself; “what am I feeling bad about?’, then tell someone.
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“Gaming was my escape. All I did was work and game.”
Since I was little I loved to play games. It became more intense when I played World of Warcraft in 2005 and since then, there were not two days where I did not play a game. At some point it did not even matter what I played, it was just important that it kept me busy.
I denied the bad side effects this addiction had on my life a long time. But it got more obvious day to day.
I had a relationship and a job which I really do like, however over the years I could really tell my social life was becoming near non-existent. I tried to stop, but did not manage to stop for more than two days. All the emptiness and loneliness became apparent when I had nothing to distract me. However, the last months of my addiction were the worst.
Panic Attacks
Every weekend after extensive gaming sessions I got panic attacks, knowing that this behavior leads to nothing and that it did not bring me any step closer to my dreams… to a life fulfilled with happiness and things which I really want to do.
I came to the sudden realization, with my age of 27, that if I do not stop gaming right now, this will be my life… forever. The panic attacks, the feelings of not accomplishing anything. I will get old knowing that I did nothing to become the best version of myself.
I Quit Gaming!
Right there. Oddly with my sudden realization (which took me years to get to) I did not have any trouble with quitting.
On day one I went to the gym and got a workout plan. I had a gym membership for the past year I had only used twice. I had anxiety attacks just thinking of going to the gym, worried of embarrassing myself in front of others, however I pushed forward.
I also implemented other things in my life which helped me a lot and allowed me to stay focused. I thought of useful habits, and used an app to track everything. Besides tracking my fitness and no gaming, I implemented a morning routine (including a skin routine), and was got back into books and painting miniatures. For the first time in years I played board games at my home with some friends.
111 Days Later
For the first time in over 10 years, I really feel I have my life back. That I am in charge of my own fate. For the first time in years I know what I want to be.
I am proud of myself that I finally took this step. I know that it’s only small progress, but it’s progress. And this keeps me going. I will promise right here, to my future self, I will not stop! I will do my best to improve every day, one step at a time.
If someone is reading this, all I want you to know is if I could do this you can do too. It is never too late to claim your life back! I believe you can do it… so should you.
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“The online scene that swallowed me whole also provided the tools to get out of it.”
My name is Rou-Hun (Lowen Flowen) and I’m from the Netherlands. I started gaming around 6 years old with a Nintendo handheld, then the Atari came, Gameboy, Snes, and eventually PC with internet.
On consoles I played action games such as Mario and Zelda and RPG’s like Secret of Mana and ShadowRun. On PC I always played shooters: QuakeWorld, TeamFortress, Quake3, Q3: Urban Terror, and some Counterstrike.
I also played Magic: The Gathering for a couple of years and became a pro (top 50 in the Netherlands as a 13 year old). I wish I hadn’t sold those cards back in the day. What I liked about gaming was the challenge, the stories, and the community.
Escaping Online
“The problems really started when I got into online gaming.”
I was about 14 years old and I hated school. I hardly had friends, and the ones I did have were quite toxic and not very accepting.
Then I found online chat programs like ICQ and gaming communities where I could be myself. Nobody judged me, I felt accepted, and could just be who I was under an alias. That made me feel so connected and it became my new social network.
My grades went down. I didn’t want to do anything else but play and be online. Chatting online for hours was better than being out in real life. My outlet became the online world.
I was around 24 years when I acknowledged that gaming was a problem and decided to quit. The epiphany came when I realised I had to get a job some day. My parents were adamant that I finish college and reluctantly, I did. But I hated work as much as school so I figured I better find something that I can enjoy, and slowly started looking into other things.. online of course.
Ironically, during my gaming time, I had my own clan and someone in my clan built our website. He taught me HTML and I started to code a bit. I created a few websites and learned Photoshop and Dreamweaver. These days I’m a front-end developer and a writer.
What Helped Me Quit Gaming
Have a firm commitment
For me, the realisation was so strong. It was my inner realisations that convinced me to stop. Instead of playing I would try to learn these tools to code and make things online. I saw it as a new challenge and, completing challenges is something I enjoy.
Find new friends
I also made new friends which really helped. They still played games, but with this group of friends we would go out to bars and cafés. We were a small group, but very inviting and not judgmental. Gaining new friends gave me a good excuse to go out and socialise. Though I was always quiet and introvert, it definitely helped me in opening up to other people.
When I was gaming my typical game would be to wake up, take my food and sit behind the PC and start playing and eating simultaneously. Then I would go to school half-awake. Once I was back home I would play again until bedtime, which would total about 10 hours a day.
Get out of your comfort zone
Since I’ve quit over the last four years I have been traveling mostly in Europe and Asia while working as a front-end developer. The last year and a half I’ve been traveling with my girlfriend to over 20 countries.
Other than that, I’ve also written a fiction book where a young man in a unified Korea slowly loses his sense of reality from futuristic drugs and forgotten Korean mythologies. The book is available on shinbyeong.com, and I’m in the midst of finishing it.
Dive into new projects
Being able to do projects like this makes you realise what freedom feels like. If I was still gaming, I would’ve limited my world to digital experiences, and not allowed myself all the adventures of the real world.
Benefits of Quitting Gaming
“Being able to be the real me in real life is better than any video game.”
Besides the obvious benefits such as more time, more experiences, new friends, and a girlfriend, the most important thing is that I started learning who I am.
As a young person, you don’t have a strong identity and I would focus on the negatives instead of my positive characteristics. That really turned me into quite a depressive kid and I would run away by indulging in these games – where I could be someone else. In a sense, the real me was more apparent in a game or chatroom than in actual reality.
My Advice to You
Understand why gaming is so addictive for you. Also take the qualities from gaming you like and apply them in real life. I believe games, though based in a fictional setting, are based on human realities. The challenges, the villain, the good guy. We can be the hero of our own game, of our own life.
Some of the qualities I took from gaming into real life are:
Relentlessly pursue excellence: it took me years to master a shooter and I became really good in it – if I was born later, I would’ve been a pro-gamer I think. I realised I could apply this to front-end development and other skills that would benefit me in real life instead.
In the real world I was introverted, shy and quiet. Online I was continually making jokes and having fun. Opening up to people made me realise I could do this in person too.
Even though gaming was a huge part of my life, I don’t regret any of it. Strangely enough, it was a way to find myself. I could be myself in this digital world. But an addict is not usually aware that they are an addict. I didn’t have a care in the world – living with my parents, hating school, and not doing anything but gaming. In hindsight it’s easy to think that it was good for me, but I am probably quite lucky I found a career through all of it.
One thing I hadn’t mentioned, is that due to the low grades, I had to redo my year. This actually also opened up my world to all kinds of new people and new friends. People who I am still friends with. The change of perception and being able to build up a new identity is very powerful.
I had new people around me, I could act different, show a different or new side of me. I was able to do the same in the online world. I could do this when I had to re-do my year. I was able to do this when I started living with friends in a tiny room. I did this when I started to travel alone.
There are so many opportunities to change yourself and open up to the world. Looking back on it, these were all tiny steps to solidify my own identity and become who I am today.
Written by Rou-Hun (Lowen Flowen). Find him on Twitter. Buy his new book, Shinbyeong.
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“I am a 30 year old guy who stopped gaming last year. I hope my experience can help others.”
I got addicted to gaming from a very young age. My parents bought me a Nintendo console when I was around 5-8 years old. Damn that thing got me so excited! I still remember shooting those ducks with a fake gun on the screen!… Slowly they bought me more and more games. I got better at them and then I moved to Playstation 1. My favorite console ever.
Tekken 1 was my first game ever, then Tomb Raider Lara Croft 1. Then tons of others! I also bought the Playstation magazine that came with demo games every month! I was so competitive! I was getting so mad when I lost… To be honest my parents never thought my passion for gaming was unhealthy. They thought it was funny. “Let the kid be a kid and we go do our adult stuff.”
Gaming Became My Escape
Onwards to my teen years gaming was my escape from the world. Escape from bullying, from bad family communication, from bad parenting, failed relationships, and psychological issues.
And then Lineage 2 came – an MMORPG similar to World of Warcraft. I hated it at the beginning, but then when I started getting the hang of it I got super addicted. My character was my life! I remember I used to daydream about the game during school time. Draw pictures of weapons and enemies! Making phone calls with my guild clan members. I even had my own guild. All those using dial-up internet! My parents paid so much money for internet back then.
Then faster internet came and everything changed. Unlimited internet made me start to lose the red lines. At 17 I did my first 24 hour grind leveling dungeon. Imagine playing 24 straight hours at the same spot to get one level! The sun came up and I thought “wtf did I just do… Is this real??” And went to bed.
Problems Started to Come
My psychology started to change. I became more bored of real life, more avoidant of people, and sports started to get less interesting and more tiring. I became less fit and more fat. I had bad eating and sleeping habits, and poor posture.
I started to fight with parents a lot more due to them putting pressure on me for too much gaming. Sometimes our fights were escalating too much, and they would shut down the internet or electricity and I would rage. Boy those were really bad times but that game was my life. I was very respected and liked online. That was tremendous to me because in real life I was getting bullied and mistreated a lot, and thus had very low self-esteem.
Guess what I decided to study? Computer Science. The reason? Gaming. I had this idea that I will make a game similar to Lineage. I wanted people to experience what I felt when I played it. I also choose a university that was far away from my parents so I could get away from their controlling pressure due to my gaming habits.
After starting university I discover I hate it! Physics? Math? Circuits? Tons of stuff I didn’t even like in the slightest. Extremely boring to me. Only programming was a little fun I can admit. But not so much to do it at my free time or grow an interest for it outside of university.
Courses keep piling up and so does my addiction. My social life suffers. I try to hide my emotions and anxiety to control myself but I barely can. My life starts to make me depressed. I attend half the lectures, I get such severe anxiety that I start to get stomach cramps. I rarely told my parents. I just tried to hide everything. Sometimes I did tell them they would make everything worse by escalating it. It took me 6-7 years to graduate from a university that was supposed to take me 3.5 years to finish.
Time to Make a Change
I start to learn more about myself and my way of life. At 25 I start to give up on MMORPGS. I am starting to wake up. I still played World of Warcraft , FIFA, League of Legends and later, Hearthstone. Slowly I realize my mistakes. At 28-29 I give up on gaming entirely.
I still use a PC for work or surfing. I’m struggling to find work now because I hate my degree. I can’t stand working on a screen anymore. My back hurts. My neck hurts. My posture is awful. I go to a gym to fix it.
I still have self-esteem issues that I am working on. My family and I are working to fix our issues after all these years. I am inexperienced with relationships and still a virgin. I moved back in with my parents at 25 and still live with them at 30. I feel kind of stuck, but at the same time I am trying to move forward little by little. There are bad days and good days. I am learning every day more stuff about myself and the world. I am trying to help by volunteering.
Your situation might be better than mine or it might be worse, but for a moment, stop and think about how you manage your time. How does gaming make you feel? Why? Is it too much? Can you control it? I never could. I tried many times, and couldn’t. I never look back. My opinion is all those hours wasted, the escapism to a digital trouble-free world along with the psychological baggage being carried in real life is not worth it over some dopamine and virtual pixels in the end.
I hope you got something out of my story. Love to you all!
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I’ve been a gamer for eight years. By far my biggest problem with gaming were games that featured a perpetual experience – that never ended. I accumulated 2,500 hours on Team Fortress 2, 1,000 hours across the rest of my Steam games, and god knows how much extra time I have on Minecraft and World of Warcraft. Conservatively I have gamed for over 4,000 hours. If I play six hours a day, that’s a total of 1.8 years of constant gaming, non-stop everyday.
Realizing this destroyed me. Gaming has worsened my academics significantly, forcing me to retake a year. I was making a mob farm in Minecraft the day before an important chemistry exam, having not revised at all for it. What was I thinking? I would never meet up with my friends, I had social anxiety, and my brain felt jacked on something.
I had casually tried to quit a bunch of times, and then ‘seriously’ some more times, but I never made the cut and I’d always go back. I would unplug my PC from my room, move it to another room with my monitors, and then put a laptop in its place.
Then within two weeks, I would replug-in my PC and all of my monitors, and then proceed to binge on gaming for the next 10 days.
I Finally Quit for Good
On May 10th a switch flicked in my brain. Enough was enough. My parents and my online gaming friends all thought this was another futile attempt to quit – and any other time they would have been right – but this time I did something different: I disassembled my PC and sold my graphics card ASAP. Then I formatted all of my hard drives.
This completely cut me off from going back, as the main games I was playing at the time were PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds and Rocket League, both of which required a dedicated graphics card, or an amazing laptop, and now I had neither. This strengthened my belief that this time was different, as I had never gone this far before. I was, and am, far too frugal to begin a cycle of rebuying an expensive graphics cards and then reselling them at a loss repeatedly. My decision was final.
I had never played mobile games, but I did have some on my phone. I deleted those too and didn’t feel a thing. I unsubscribed from all gaming channels on YouTube.
Around 30 days in I played Riven: The Sequel to Myst. I did lose a lot of free time to it, but the immersion and lateral thinking involved made it feel a world apart from the 4,000 hours of throwaway repetitiveness I had mostly experienced up to this point. I then played Myst and beat it in a day.
Now I know that saying I played a game during my 90 day detox and thought it was beautiful is a horrendously unpopular sentence to say in this community, but just like the best novel I have read (Moby Dick) I found it to be a magical experience. A one-shot, well made experience that makes you think, just like a good book, or a good documentary. It doesn’t compare to real life, but neither does any form of media. I still think most popular games fall into the abusive category and you should avoid at all costs, as they are skinner boxes and will not help you succeed in life. I have no plans on going back to those.
My goal in quitting was to avoid spending six hours a day for weeks on end on perpetual experiences that don’t change the more you play them (as I had been doing for seven years straight), so for my purposes these games were not relapses.
Has My Life Improved?
I took my exams (still waiting on the results), and believe I have made a massive improvement over last year. My mind fog, anxiety, and moodiness are at lifelong lows since quitting. I have more motivation. I feel like everything is better in many aspects. I have a surplus of free time now. I want to go out and meet up with friends. I’m in a better state of mind than ever before. The most important benefit I’ve received is presence of mind: being able to have initiative on new things I might want to do, or ways to think.
Yes, it’s amazing, and after a while you get used to how good it is, but I had to bring myself back to how bad it was originally to remember how good I feel now. Nothing will substitute doing it for yourself in real life. It’s like putting the human experience of consciousness into words, you just can’t. Just believe me, and the many others here who believe it will change your life.
My Advice to You
Build yourself up to sell your gaming paraphernalia. Disassemble your PC, and sell it if you don’t need that processing power. Format your C drive. ‘Downgrade’ to a laptop. If you’re a console gamer sell all of it. Uninstall all your games. Uninstall Steam.
It will feel bad for two weeks, but it will get better. Three months in feels beyond great. Build your way back up appropriately. Most importantly, you have to start and not give up. Just do it!
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“I was a state-level tennis player before entering college, but that went right out the window.”
I’m a 29 year old male, working as a Senior Software Engineer in Washington DC. I got introduced to gaming around the age of 14-15. Road Rash, a very old Windows 95/98 racing game, and then a few years later Age of Empires. I was hooked, AoE2 was (and still is) one of the best games I’ve ever played.
I played alone, because online gaming hadn’t taken off yet. Even LAN gaming wasn’t popular back then. I also dabbled in Quake3 and UnrealTournament, with a bit of Command and Conquer here and there. A couple of years later, right before I went to college, LAN parties exploded. I got introduced to Warcraft. College brought in DotA. This is where my gaming addiction really kicked in.
LAN parties at college were legitimately social experiences. Everyone was playing DotA and Counter-Strike. I was a state-level tennis player before entering college, but that went right out the window. LAN and internet gaming helped me make so many friends. And, that’s all we did together. Play and talk video games.
I was fortunate enough that it did not impact my grades. I did end up graduating with a Computer Science and Engineering degree with a 3.7 GPA. But if anyone asked me what my hobby was, I would proudly say a gamer. Hell I even wasted $3,000-$4,000 dollars of my dad’s money building PC gaming rigs. Even lied to my parents saying it was needed for course work. GPUs were expensive back in late 2000s.
I got into University of Penn, for a Master’s program in CS in 2010. This is where the gaming addiction reared it’s ugly head. I graduated with a 3.4 CGPA in 2012- half my grad school hours was spent on DotA2. Ended up getting a decent job, but was totally unfocused at work.
Just A Mild Addiction?
So far gaming was mildly addictive, but there were other things happening in my life which made me feel like I was progressing in those fronts. So I did not pay too much attention to excessive gaming.
Then in 2014, I decided to pick up an XboX one and a TV for my new apartment because I had lot of cash to burn and never owned a console, so I wanted to dabble in it. A few of my old college buddies were on Xbox Live. It was fun, and it allowed me to keep in touch with them (we are all geographically distant – DC, Seattle, New York, EU). They introduced me to Destiny. God! That game almost ruined my adult life. I had 2,000 hours in Dota2 and Dota over 7 years. And I managed to put in 3,000 hours in Destiny within 2 years.
I had gotten out of a 7 year relationship, and used video gaming to cope with the break up. I was in a depression – 27, lack of focus at work, no friends, no intimate relationship with a significant other, gaming addiction, suffering a major health issue (dental) and asthma, and absolutely lacked exercise or physical activity. Rock bottom. Stress and anxiety followed.
What snapped me out of this addiction, was last Christmas I ended up meeting a few of my grad school friends, and they were so far ahead in life. They had better paying and more fulfilling jobs, most were either married or in relationships, and overall they were all really happy. Some were in great shape as well. Everyone had thriving social circles and plenty of friends. None of this just happened for any of them. They all did the time, and reaped the rewards. I did the time as well, just got the rewards in the virtual world.
Today I don’t own a gaming console, or gaming PC, just a basic Intel NUC with Ubuntu/Fedora for programming at home which my profession demands. I have no Steam account , no BattleNet account, and no Xbox Live account. They took a month to permanently delete. I followed Cam’s advice – replaced gaming with activities that target the same highs which video gaming provides as a proxy:
Strength Training – There is something raw and primal about lifting weights. I’m a skinny guy.. But even lifting 185lbs deadlift makes you feel really really good. Also this prompted tangible, measurable progress that I had been substituting “leveling” up a character in the virtual world with.
Tennis – I suffer from asthma, and cannot engage in long duration endurance activities. I tried long distance cycling and running, but went back to playing tennis. It’s an activity with short movement bursts and allows me to recover in between points. I’m currently a 3.5 on the NTRP, and would like to hit 4.0 in two years time. Again, measurable progress.
Being Social – Still working on making friends in my city. I have good friends, but they are all far away, and we can only meet once in a few months.
Completing courses on Coursera and Udemy. Learning and resharpening my coding skills, which I will see benefits from in my software engineering interviews at top tech firms I plan to apply for soon. More progress that can be tracked.
Dating – Managed to get a couple of dates with some really well rounded and beautiful women. Nothing has worked out for the long term, but hey, some progress on this front. Someone finds me attractive, which is a great confidence booster when you are trying to recover from low self-esteem.
Day trading – Making my money grow. I was living paycheck-to-paycheck, and as an engineer you make decent pay, but my money wasn’t growing. I have been investing mostly in tech stocks since this is a industry I understand well, and have made a few hundred dollars in a year after taxes.
Wood work and carpentry classes – I started with the free ones at Home Depot, and then enrolled in a local community college for weekend classes. I like working with my hands, and hopefully spending time with like-minded people will lead to friendships.
Animal shelter volunteering – I had a wonder Alexandrine parrot for a decade, she passed away in 2017. I reached out to the local shelter and asked if they could use a hand with basic cleaning, moving boxes, and bookkeeping activities. It’s a minor contribution, but I really feel giving back to the community is cathartic.
Forge your own path in the real world, folks. Life is too short to be lived in the virtual one. Good luck.
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“I would sleep all day and game all night. My mom said I lived like a vampire.”
I’m Adam and I’m 26 years old. I started gaming early in my childhood, and loved to play FPS games, especially Battlefield 3 and 4! I was very good at it, hitting the top of the scoreboard most of the time. I really liked the sense of achievement, skill, and being a bit of a show off.
The biggest draw to gaming however was playing with my friends. I was very easy to log in and socialize, without having to leave your house. I don’t regret those memories with my friends, they were some great moments! And really for a long time I saw no harm in playing, even until five or six in the morning. There seemed to be many more upsides than downsides to gaming, however looking back now it was because I had no greater vision for my life at the time.
I would sleep all day and game all night. I became a cave animal who hated sunlight. My mom said I lived like a vampire. Life became too big and scary to face so my big comfort blanket was gaming, and it was so familiar to me as it was part of my life since childhood. This continued until one day my girlfriend left me. I was devastated and completely blindsided, which happened because I was blind to her and everything and everyone else around me.
This was a major blow and took me a long time to get over, but it was also a wake up call. I suddenly got on my own side again and decided I wanted to live! It wasn’t until much later that my mom and I would really clash. Our fights and falling out made me much more aware of the toxicity of this habit.
It was around this time that I came across Cam’s TEDx talk and his YouTube channel. What struck me the most was a video showing how much of the world I was missing out on.
This incredible beautiful planet we live on, all out there for me to experience, suddenly gaming looked much smaller, and real life much larger. I’m feeling quite emotional actually as I write this because I realize it all happened for my own growth, as painful as it was at times.
I decided enough was enough, and committed to the 90 day no gaming detox! Half way through I actually sold my PS4 console so there really was no going back for me!!
I have not played a game since!! The most powerful leverage for me was simply this, disgust. Jim Rohn has talked about disgust being a powerful emotion to inspire change, and it really is. It wasn’t until I was truly disgusted at my habits, my way of living, and gaming itself that I really wanted to be free from the addiction. Cold turkey worked!!
I’m quite the lone-wolf type so I didn’t seek extra support, but always watched Cam’s videos on his channel and he gave guidance and emotional support through the whole thing. Plus a vision of who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, and what I wanted to have post-gaming which was just as important.
The Benefits of Quitting Gaming
Since I’ve quit gaming my self-esteem has improved a lot, I have much less social anxiety, and a greater confidence overall. I have more interest in people and the real world.
Plus a real deepening of my involvement with personal development! I work on my life purpose, I care about myself a lot more, the world, and people in general. I have a lot more free time to do what really makes me happy and fulfilled, and my sleep is obviously much better! I could go on, the results mean that I know I will never go back. I have realized life is simply too short and full of possibilities to hide from it anymore.
I really hope this helps anyone who is looking to quit, or has already quit and inspires them as well. Thank you Cam in helping me get my life back :).
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“The only way I’ve been happy and not depressed in the past 15 years is when I’m not gaming.”
I’m here today because I’m addicted to video games. I’m here today because I want to be a part of a community who understands my struggle with gaming and won’t try to convince me that I need moderation or need to be less hard on myself. I recently opened up to my friends about gaming and its effect on my life and received mixed feedback. Some supported me 100%, while others were almost offended that I’d even mix gaming with addiction, life issues, and sickness. It’s something people dedicate their lives to and not everyone can do that. I’m one of them.
My story begins as an 8 year old and the Nintendo 64 and Playstation 1 had just come out. Everyone was getting them and oh man, I needed both. I’d beg my parents. I didn’t even understand the concept of what gaming was. All I used to do was play hockey and build legos. Christmas came along and I got the Nintendo 64. A few years later I got the PS1. I found myself playing the EA NHL games all night long. They were soothing. I could escape any troubles at home and play all the time. I got so good at NHL 99 and NHL 01 that I’d be scoring almost 100 goals a game and never lost to anyone. I then got an Xbox and started playing Halo, Halo 2, and the NHL 2k games. I wasn’t addicted, though. I could do other things. The issue was when I got online games.
The Problem: Online Games
In April of 2004 I started playing RuneScape. My friends got me into it during science class and we all played. I fell in love with the game instantly. I loved being able to control someone and level them up. I loved that I could work on skills that weren’t related to fighting. I could just spend my afternoons mining with people I’d meet online and become friends with them. The draw to this game for me was that I could have friends. I had friends in school, but I wasn’t really allowed to bring anyone over my house. I had issues with my dad and I didn’t want to bring anyone over. I was so depressed and I lost a lot of friends because I never was able to visit them or bring anyone over my house. RuneScape allowed me to make friends whenever I wanted and see them all day and night.
The issue with RuneScape was how rewarding it was. Over the next 6 years I would become extremely high leveled in the game, become the owner of a clan of over 200 people, lead clan wars, and other events. I was looked up to as a leader, a friend, and someone who could help others. I loved that kids my age would tell me their problems with their parents, school, family, or drug issues they were facing and trust me with it. They could confide in me and I could help them. I remember we’d be mining in the mining guild and we’d be tutoring a few clan members in calculus and history. Kids from France would help me on my French homework. We had one thing in common and that was we needed each other. We were lonely, hurting, and struggling with different issues, but all respected one another.
My grades dropped big time. I am a very smart person. I don’t mean to say this in a pompous light, but I have a photographic memory and love to learn. I was one of the top students in my school without having any study habits. When I play RuneScape or other online games, it prohibits me from being able to reach that top level of knowledge in my brain. I actually can’t sustain a photographic memory or care enough to try and do something. I felt like any major concept wasn’t worth putting mental effort into because it wasn’t as rewarding as RuneScape. This was when my natural rewards system became tarnished by gaming. I no longer saw satisfaction in life. I only felt committed to the game and just wasn’t absorbing anything in real life.
In 2010 I received a letter from my university that said I was on academic probation. I managed to receive a 1.1 GPA after my first year of college. This happened because I played RuneScape for 12 hours a day. I had a fake girlfriend on the game who was catfishing me, a clan of over 200 people, and I wanted to max my stats. I crashed real hard. I beat myself up and got uncontrollably depressed. I dumped the catfish and got rid of my membership to the game. I took a week off from everything and just felt terrible. My dad made me get my first job ever after that week. He said being a part of society, having responsibility, and interacting with others would make me a better person. He was right. I became a cashier and made some incredible friends. I was so angry at first, but I made it my goal to speak to every customer in line and try to make their day better. I wanted to know about them, tell them a new joke every time, and listen to their life issues. I was the only male cashier and was the best cashier for 2 years there.
This didn’t end my gaming issues. I started playing RuneScape again and it crushed my grades again. During my first semester back I dropped 3 out of 5 classes because I was failing. I felt like such an asshole. I quit RuneScape immediately and just felt lost. I got my grades back together and managed to get a B- and a C in the two classes I was still registered in. I started playing Halo 3 online. This was a bad idea. I got an Xbox Live membership and would spend hours playing team slayer. I then got hooked into Minecraft. The second semester finished and the same thing happened. I dropped my major, dropped 3 more classes and only passed 2 classes again. I had officially spent 2 years in college and passed maybe 7 classes.
I decided to quit gaming and just watched anime all summer that year. I went through a major hardship with my father and decided I’d never speak to him again. I moved out of the house and played no games at all, but I also did not replace them with anything healthy or make new friends. I just sat and did nothing, but watch TV. My junior year started and I picked up Halo Reach. I couldn’t put it down. I became one of the best Grifball players in the world and would get killionaires each game, unfriggenbelievables (40 kills without dying) and just had a blast. I then switched to Swat and played it all day. I started dropping out of classes again. This time I was able to pass just 3 classes. Spring semester I picked up NHL 12 and this was the end of things. I started a team on there and learned how to play goalie. I only passed 2 classes that spring as I became one of the best goalies in the world. I was utterly dominant. Fall semester came and NHL 13 came out. That year I continued to only take 2 classes a semester, while living on campus. I became the best goalie in the world. I was and still am on YouTube and the hockey community remembers me still. I shutout every good team, lead the WORLD in shutouts, games played in 6 v 6, goals against average, save %, and most importantly, time played.
I took a leap of faith and asked my mom if she’d let me stay in an apartment. I thought if I could have more responsibility I wouldn’t game as much and I could just do school work. It worked. I stopped all my video games and after a couple months I actually managed a 4.0 GPA for 2 straight years to get my cumulative GPA to above a 3.0 so I’d get accepted into the Master’s Program. I got a job and created a new life for myself after failing for a decade.
Gaming Is Ruining My Life
I’m here today because I started gaming again. On and off for the past 3 years I’ve been gaming, while doing my Master’s degree and working full time. I’ve been doing great at work and graduated with a 3.9 GPA for my Master’s degree, but I was still gaming. I’d game on the weekends only because I didn’t want to ruin my work week. Work means the world to me and I didn’t want to ruin it. I mostly played NHL or Halo on the weekends. This was fine until Overwatch came out. Holy shit. I couldn’t put the game down. It was too addicting. I needed to be great at all of the characters and every map. It was like Halo and League of Legends put into one game with the competition I loved in NHL. Oh man it was bad. I’d play each night for 6 hours and was a zombie at work. I only cared about the game. After a year of this I got so angry at Overwatch because the community is full of assholes. They are bad at the game, toxic to you and your teammates, and just ruin your day. I’d find myself yelling at the computer for hours and I wasn’t happy anymore. This made me wish I could just relax on a video game. This made me think back to the one game that was always peaceful to me: RuneScape. So I started again, from scratch on the Old School servers. I was 13 again. I loved every second of it.
The unfortunate side effect was that I wasn’t able to learn very well anymore. I’d need to stop playing for weeks at a time if I had an exam coming because I knew it would hurt my learning. But it also kind of made me not learn very well at work. Any success I had was based off of prior knowledge I’d learned while not gaming. I realized I needed to quit this past December. I had a clan of 50 people again, a full discord channel, and was only playing the game. I also started playing Overwatch again in January. Both of those games combined really burned me out. I started to get sick. I’d get these depression headaches where I didn’t feel pain, but I felt sensations in my head that wouldn’t go away. I’d almost want to hit myself in the head to make them stop, but they wouldn’t. I’d stop playing games at 6AM and just lay in bed suffering. I hadn’t eaten a regular meal in half a day or more, barely any water, no movement, nothing. I’d sit there in bed for hours with anxiety and my body just screaming for nutrients, sleep, and some sort of normalcy. I’d cry myself to sleep because of the mental anguish I was going through. I knew this was a big issue and I needed to end it immediately. In May I quit both games and decided to dedicate my life to living in the real world.
Quitting Gave Me My Mind Back
After 2 weeks of being free from gaming I had my mind back. I had clarity. I don’t know if you guys feel this, but that mental fog effect from gaming that prohibits you from taking that next step to learning, thought processes, and intellect was gone. I started to excel at work to a point I’d never done before. I was dominating everything, except outside of work. I was trying new hobbies, but I started to feel like if I wasn’t doing something amazing each night then I was a failure. So I started to be afraid of starting new hobbies or just relaxing. I’d yell at myself for just watching TV or reading. I needed to do something great.
This past week I went through a really stressful event and got very upset. I got so upset that I signed up for RuneScape again and just started playing. What a mistake that was. I played for only 2 days (2 hours each day) and the mental fog was back. I couldn’t think again. My mind was so clouded with doubt, anxiety, the inability to think at a high level anymore. It was all gone. I got very depressed. I asked my mom the last time I felt this way and she said the first week of May. It was a sign. I had been talking to my therapist about this for a year or so and he said he believes I am addicted to gaming. My happiness production was solely based on gaming. I would just lose my ability to be happy about anything or want to learn. I quit the game again and signed up on this website.
I think I have the self control to stay away from games, but I really wanted to be a part of this Game Quitters community because I really need help sometimes. My roommates still play games. They never prompt me to play or rub it in my face, they are really nice about it. I just get jealous that they can play games without issues that I know of. I just know that gaming is not right for me, and the only way I’ve been happy and not depressed in the past 15 years is when I’m not gaming and just living life.
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Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
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“I realized how beautiful the world is, more beautiful than video games.”
Magic The Gathering is more than just animations in a video game, it’s a board game that has given me more benefits to my mental health. Such things include critical thinking, decision making, strategy, the appreciation of art, logic, contingency plan (sideboarding) and the use of math.
Magic did not just gave me these things, it made me a better person and it was the board game that killed video gaming in my life. Since joining my local MTG community, I have made friends and no longer feel lonely and it gives something that video games never do, social interaction and meeting new people. The people that I meet at my local MTG community are from different paths of life such as students, clerks, teachers, managers, programmers and even lawyers.
I started gaming back in September 2001 when my elder brother introduced me to gaming when he got a PlayStation 2 console from overseas. I was in the last year of elementary school and I was facing my Lyceum exam for secondary school. It was a time when I did not realize that I was playing too much, and unknowingly that it was ruining my health and also my grades.
I used to play three hours a day, everyday. It was an activity that impacted me on the negative side without me even knowing it until I received my academic results. They were a bunch of Fs.
The first day of secondary school started and I was a bit like a fish out of water. Everything was new. I met a facilitator who treated me like a child. I didn’t like her until someone took over her place and that was another woman who has made an impact in my pre-teenage life.
I was overweight and demoralized. She started to encourage me to do physical exercise and to lose weight. I noticed the difference. She strongly advised me to avoid staying for long hours sitting down.
Third year video games were an escape for my school problems. My mother did not know that I was addicted to video games. I gained weight and I felt really bad. I ignored my personal hygiene, and did not care for school, but I played video games for six hours a night.
The fourth year was the worst of all. I went from bad to worse. My addiction persisted. I was aggressive, and did not give a damn for homework. My tutor noticed that I had a problem. She told me I needed help. I also struggled with gambling.
In June 2006, my mother asked me if I was interested in going to Berlin. At that time, there was the World Cup. I said “yes” and she smiled. It was the wisest decision I took back then. I started to appreciate the world around me and realized how beautiful the world is, more beautiful than video games.
The first day I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms. The aggressiveness and anger never left me. A German was staring at me, observing every move I do. He realized that I was not normal at all. He approached me and asked me “Do you have a problem?” “I cannot play a video game” I said and he told me that I was an addict. He asked me “You have a choice, be a woman or remain a crazed addict”. I said that I want to be a woman. He told me to take his advice and he promised me that I will get out of my addiction. He became my mentor, another influential person in my life. We started to get along together like as if we knew each other for a very long time. He thought me how to speak German, to be ambitious, responsibility and some basic self-defense just in case.
One week later, I was turning into someone else, a recovering addict with ambition to quit my addiction and get my life back on track.
Casual Gamer
I moved to Australia and experienced withdrawal symptoms again but not as bad as the ones back in Berlin. I stayed for a few months away from gaming, instead writing a book and working more on my martial arts and weapons training. Even if I had a PlayStation, I did not game more than hour a day. I became a casual gamer just playing for fun and overdoing it at all. I attended school there and I felt more welcome than back in my country. I did not have anymore problems with gaming, it wasn’t boring but I was homesick sometimes.
I returned back in Malta in January 2007. I was fighting my addiction until I quit when my television broke down. It wasn’t a problem for me and I went hardcore in my writing career, writing two or three books per year. The books were continuing with one another and together they became the Terran Saga, a series of speculative science-fiction books.
I did three years at the Higher Secondary. I entered MCAST and took a diploma in computing. I committed myself to one year studying and the next year I graduated with my first diploma. My parents were glad with my achievement.
I got my first job as a clerk in a shipping company and worked there for six months under a definite contract. I was still gaming then but only for an hour. My contract expired and I was at home. I was desperate and gaming was pulling me badly but I did not let it take me hostage and instead I was reading some articles online and writing books. I then felt my health deteriorating and I heard my manager telling me that gaming is causing all of that.
I Quit Gaming for Good
I attended a MTG Pre-Release in January and then another in April. I have been playing Magic: The Gathering for five years and it was that card game that has done so much good for me as I started to make friends again. I put all my games for sale, selling three of them as a result. I was glad that I got rid of them.
I chose Magic and the outside world and got rid of gaming. I started a 90 day detox and I watched videos made by Game Quitters founder Cam Adair. He was my motivator and after a week I already felt a difference. No more fatigue, no frequent consumption of energy drinks, no more burning eyes, muscle twitching, strain injuries, or power naps. No more of this addictive gaming anymore.
Now I will soon end my detox and I swear to God that I will never touch another video game again.
If you are a gamer, please play video games responsibly and don’t overdo it. If you know an addict, it is not a sin to ask for help.
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Game Quitters exists to help those who need help with gaming addiction challenges to get the help, and to spread awareness about the negative impact gaming addiction can cause. Want to help? Grab a t-shirt or hoodie and show the world you care about this issue.
“We have big plans to travel, start a family, build a home, and live abroad.”
What a year it has been. My life has changed so much in one year that in the occasional moment I actually don’t recognize myself.
I have fought off a long depression, lost weight and got into shape. I have grown mentally and spiritually into a more confident, aware and happy person. I challenged my social anxiety and awkwardness, and can now look people in the eye and hold a conversation. I even mustered all my courage to ask a girl out, we fell in love and I asked her to marry me. She said yes! I also discovered a passion to pursue, and created a vision of an epic life that I’m (we’re) working toward.
This has all been accomplished by a guy who just over a year ago… didn’t work, woke up just to game all day, every day, was overweight with no regards to eating healthy or exercising, dwelled deep in depression with suicidal thoughts, and who was living a lonely, directionless, miserable half-life.
No. I think they can be absolutely amazing when used for the right reasons. But they can be bad when you use games like I did, to escape adversity I needed to face, to pretend I was achieving goals when my life stood still, to procrastinate, and to cover wounds that required attention and healing.
I’d say it’s not about quitting games. It’s not about finding other things to fill the time games used to occupy. It’s about having a vision for your life, living with intention and purpose toward it, and to experience life to its fullest – whatever that may mean to you.
It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows though. Behind every step forward, there was me forcing myself out of my comfort zone, and facing many fears and uncomfortable situations.
Near the end of last year, I had a total breakdown. My world, my hard built habits and routines were turned upside down and thrown out the window. But reflecting on the situation now, I realize those things needed to go to make room for new things. Wonderful things.
I now have a great job that leaves me with time to pursue my passion. I have a life partner to support each other through adversity and also double the amount of fun we both have. We have big plans to travel, start a family, build a home, and live abroad. We’re both working hard toward our individual and mutual goals.
3 Steps to Quit Gaming:
Step 1: Establish Your Foundation
This is the most important aspect of changing for the better, and if you do nothing else but maintain this your life will begin to shift almost automatically. Your foundation involves the following:
Get Enough Sleep! Maintain a regular sleep schedule, and get the amount of sleep you need. It’s recommended to sleep 7-9 hours a night, but it can actually vary everywhere between 4-11 hours. Be sure you know your individual need! Exercise and diet may be factors too.
Eat Real Food. A clean diet involves avoiding processed food, additives, and sugar. Learn to read labels, and if the label contains a bunch of words that sound like a scientist wrote them, avoid it! I tried a keto diet and intermittent fasting, and loved both! Find a diet that suits you.
Exercise! Start small, but be consistent, and build your routine up slowly. I recommend doing something you enjoy, making it as low-thresholded as possible, and scheduling it during a time that you’re most likely to do it. The trick I got myself to exercise was doing it at home, with minimal to no equipment, by watching exercise videos from a preferred YouTube channel as a part of my morning routine. On top of that, I played basketball with friends, went skateboarding, and nowadays, I run with my fiancée.
These are called keystone habits, meaning they are foundational habits that impact every other habit. They even have a supporting effect on each other! Sleep well to have more willpower and energy which will help you make better decisions regarding food and getting yourself to exercise; Eat healthy to sleep better and have the energy to exercise; Exercise to sleep better and have your body craving nutritious food.
I also recommend meditation, which is backed up by science to improve happiness, and reduce anxiety and stress. Meditation provides actual physical changes in the brain on those who practice it regularly!
Step 2: Schedule Your Day
Create a morning and an evening routine. Having a well planned morning will make you excited about waking up and get your momentum going to have a great, productive day. Mine looked like this:
Wake up immediately. I disabled snooze and placed my phone across the room so I had to leave the bed to turn it off.
Make your bed. It’s an easy task to create a sense of accomplishment first thing in the morning, and builds momentum to be productive. Plus you have a more clear and organized mindset when your surroundings are in order and no mess or disorder bugging you.
Water & vitamins. Getting hydrated will give you a boost of energy.
Mediation. I did 15 minutes. Do whatever amount is low enough to get you to do it consistently every day. Consistency is the key here, not the time of a single sitting.
Coffee & chill. This was my carrot (motivation) to look forward to mornings. I allowed myself the luxury to just enjoy some good coffee and browse Reddit or watch Youtube.
Workout. Provides you with energy for the rest of the day, and for me, it was one of the hardest tasks, so getting it done as early as possible helped a lot.
Cold shower. You have to push yourself, but afterward you feel amazing. Not only that, it’s also a great way to start the day by going out of your comfort zone.
Get ready for the day. Do everything to make yourself presentable from hair to feet. Making yourself look great will also make you feel great.
That’s it! Craft your own, write it down and make it visible. Seriously. Keep it somewhere you can’t avoid to see every morning. A whiteboard in your room can work wonders.
My evening routine was much simpler: hot shower, brush teeth, etc. Then dim the lights, and read. Your evening routine’s purpose is to act as a cue that the day is done and it’s time to sleep. I have big problems falling asleep, especially during summer when daytime is so long, so having an evening routine has been really important.
Note by Cam: An eye-mask and earplugs have helped me sleep as well.
To plan my day I use Google Calendar. It’s not perfect, but so far the best I’ve found. I plan my days hour by hour so I know what I should be doing and won’t have to waste energy and willpower pondering if or what I should do.
The free hours you have will be limited when you schedule everything. Take 24 hours in a day: 8 hours goes to sleeping, another 8 likely for school or work, leaving 8 hours which includes commuting, cooking, eating, cleaning, picking up kids, walking the dog, time with family/partner … whatever have you.
Start to see the importance of scheduling, and thinking about how to organize your days so you can maximize the time you have to achieve your dream life. Life is all about the choices and sacrifices we make, so make sure you are aware and in control of what you invest your precious time into. Discard anything that is not aligned with your highest potential.
Step 3: Create a Vision
Don’t just fill your time with hobbies, but with things that move you to where you want to go. If you don’t have a vision and goals for your future, now is the time to start figuring that out.
With all of the time that stopping gaming left you, you can now use it to build a vision for your life. The vision will change and shape as you move forward, and that’s okay, but more important than where you’re going is that you are going, because it’s only by going forward that you will know if it’s the right path, or if you need change direction after all.
I started by making a mind map where I put everything I wanted out of life, or at least what I knew I wanted in the moment. Then I planned my days so I was working toward my goals. My days were suddenly filled with purpose and meaning, instead of just hobbies and entertainment to pass the time.
You don’t have to know your purpose or passion yet. To discover them, you’re going to try new things, truly giving them an honest go, and develop useful skills to aid you in the future. Learn a language, woodworking, or programming to name a few useful ones. You can even make a list of things that might interest you, then try them out one by one, crossing off the ones that didn’t spark a flame.
That’s the purpose of quitting games. To free your time to be used with an intention. Envision your life and live each day toward it.
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“I no longer have an inner voice demanding me to play video games.”
My name is Dale and I’ve been a full-time gamer since I was very young. I am now 33 years old with a family and home mortgage. Until several months ago, I never realized spending most of my time and money on video games, consoles, and computer hardware would make me look back and think poorly of myself. I was that stereotypical husband addicted to gaming.
I would play all different types of games. First person shooters, online/competitive, strategy, Massively Multiplayer Online RPGs, and so on. I was addicted to buying game time subscriptions, and expensive collectors editions of games. Regrettably, I wasted my time.
I finished school and worked many jobs full-time. I worked in the health care industry for almost 11 years doing shift work. I was tired. I played games to relax, and subconsciously, to escape the world – including my wife and my son.
I was addicted.
Luckily my wife was very supportive. I didn’t smoke or drink. I played games at home. So it could’ve been much worse. But really, it was. I suffered depression from an early age, and as a result, video games were what I felt I needed to do to avoid life’s challenges. I developed social anxiety.
As the years rolled on, I took notice of how the online gaming community had ‘de’volved. I found myself suffering a worse anxiety than before. The community was dark and full of hate. It affected me so much that I backed away from gaming for a little while. I really wanted to reset my brain.
I noticed during my time off, I felt less stressed, and I was enjoying not being chained to a desk, or lounge, tapping away, completing heavily repetitive tasks and watching as other people’s aim was to cause upset and chaos to one another. The toxic side of the community wasn’t who I was.
I had to quit.
And luckily enough, it was fairly easy. I still have my computer sitting over there, in the corner. Switched off at the wall.
Within a few months I no longer have an inner voice demanding me to play video games. My health has improved. I stress a lot less now. My depression appears to be better managed. I love my life now. I think about my life, and all the things I can do now that I am no longer addicted.
Thank you for reading my story. It’s been quite a journey and a chapter that has ended permanently.
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"My parents just wanted me happy, though they didn't see the monster that was evolving inside of me."
“My parents just wanted me happy, though they didn’t see the monster that was evolving inside of me.”
Games: a fun past time to play with family, friends, or by yourself. Gaming has evolved into something incredible in contrast to the early 90s. In my early days it was Commodore 64, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Game Boy Color, and PlayStation.
I remember how much I loved to get off the bus, run inside, drop my backpack, and turn on my gaming system. I’d usually be interrupted by “You have homework”, or “supper’s ready”. I enjoyed games from the Super Mario franchise to games like Riddick Bowe Boxing and Donkey Kong. I didn’t have one certain interest, I just loved to play.
It was my only ambition at that age: Play the game, beat it, and be the best at it out of my siblings. My competitiveness and poor sportsmanship showed greatly in games like Mario Kart or Madden Football, as I’m sure it did with anyone at that age.
I was an energetic young boy who loved the outdoors just as much as I loved my games. I loved spending time with my family also, whether it be a game of baseball or a game of Super Mario 3 on an early Saturday morning with my brother and two sisters.
But my interests continued to grow in gaming, especially when I got my first taste of online multiplayer on my Dad’s PC. I’ll never forget the game that I indulged into: Delta Force 2. I loved working my way to the top of the scoreboard, becoming better each time I played, and meeting other players along the way.
My addiction to gaming went into full force with the introduction of this game. I day dreamed about playing while I was in school, drew pictures of battles I imagined myself playing in, and stayed anxious on the way home to bring my computer to life so I could once again battle it out on one of my favorite games at the time.
My attention to my education took a dip and stayed down for the years to come. Years later after I got bored of Delta Force 2, my uncle gave our family a collection of old computer games, and in that collection lived another first person shooter that once again sparked my interests.
Half-Life
When I first read the front of the case, I didn’t think much of the game. A man with what looked to be a hard plastic suit with a symbol on the chest didn’t really excite me, but then I turned the case over and read that this game was a winner of over 40 Game of the Year awards. That made my jaw drop a bit, and without a second thought I began to install the game onto my computer. Amazed by the storyline I was instantly hooked.
Years later my uncle gifted us an Xbox with an inclusion of various games from Halo to Ghost recon. I went through game after game, defeating one after another, wanting to buy more games as I went. I’m sure I put a hole in my parents pocket with the interest I had, but I know in the end they just wanted me happy, though they didn’t see the monster that was evolving inside of me.
Down the road, my Dad bought a game that without a doubt was another cause of my obsession with first-person shooters: Call of Duty. Little did I know that, once again, I would be immersed in the multiplayer world.
The gaming world in Call of Duty was so in-depth compared to the other games I had played. Players took losing seriously and was adamant on becoming the greatest gamer they could be. Clan after clan existed throughout the community, and I was excited to become a part of it. I convinced my parents to buy me a stand up microphone and I found headphones my sisters used to use to listen to their portable CD players.
If I would be able to go back in time and stop myself from becoming addicted to games, this would’ve been the point where I would’ve tried to convince myself that there was more to life than gaming.
I was in awe of the graphics compared to my previous system. I couldn’t believe what the new generation of gaming had produced. My dedication to becoming the top gamer doubled, and so did the amount of time spent playing. My attention to education dipped further than ever with my focus on the gaming world as I fought to become as great as I could be, perfecting my kill/death ratio, win/loss ratio, and accuracy percentage.
Let’s step out of the story for a moment. So far I had been in my obsession with gaming for about 8 years, and I had no realization that I was working towards nothing in a literal sense, but in my eyes, I had made this my life. I felt like I was someone in the gaming world. It was my reality, and the world outside was just a nightmare in my eyes that I couldn’t wait to get out of when I picked the controller back up and continued on my journey to being the best.
I had a circle of gamers I played with and as a result stemmed to playing other games, as my brother took over the Xbox as basically his own to play. This was the beginning of the crumbling of our relationship. Before, we were close. We played games together on Xbox, PlayStation, and all the other systems we owned. We played outside together, and pretty much did everything together, with the exception of arguments that escalated quickly to physical or verbal actions, but all in all, we bonded.
With my interest in PC gaming, his interest in Xbox 360, and our passion to be competitive, we parted ways with playing together. We both would spend hours upon hours on our beloved games, only to take breaks for dinner or whenever needed. We talked less to each other and more to our friends of the gaming world. My social life in school was already an empty shell, and gaming kept it at bay.
Gaming at School
In the mornings before school began, I would go to the library, boot up one of the computers, and play games such as Quake 3 or the Halo demo. There were a group of kids like myself who liked to game early in the morning and we would all get on computers and play. The sad thing was I didn’t even know who the others were I was playing with, nor did I try to find out.
Any opportunity I had to play a video game at school, I would take it. I would skip out on doing work assignments also. I remember lying to my teacher, telling her I had an essay to do online, so she allowed me to go to the library where I played Quake 3 for the remainder of the class.
When I was 16, I got into my first serious relationship and took some of my focus off of gaming (I still played a lot). I grew up a little, got a job, and came back into reality. I continued to focus on my relationship and left little attention to gaming. Time went on, and when the year came, I graduated high school (somehow), and began college that following fall.
My gaming obsession quickly slipped its way back in during my short lived college life. I wasted my reimbursement given back to me from college on a $2,600 gaming laptop. I would skip out on class to play my favorite PC shooter, or literally be in class at the back row playing a game. Yes, I literally ignored listening in class and ignored focusing on my career goals to game. I failed several classes due to skipping class and playing video games while I was in class. When I was about 18 I found out I would be having twins and that my whole life was about to change, and that it did.
My Girlfriend Got Pregnant
I dropped completely out of college and began working towards a career in the underground coal mines. The job paid well, but it wasn’t the ideal dream occupation. Gaming went to the back burner for the time being until I landed a job at a local company.
During the pregnancy I began developing a want, or a need in my eyes, to occupy myself. Maybe it was the fear of what was to come, or just the stress in general, but my obsession with gaming made its debut in full force once again in my life. I had the money so I bought myself a nice Xbox 360 with all the accessories and rejoined the community that I had secretly missed and been away from for too long. My girlfriend didn’t mind much, since at the time we didn’t live together and through the week I pretty much stayed at my house.
I worked 2nd shift and she was still in school at the time, so I seriously had a lot of free time to do whatever. I said I would quit cold turkey when our kids arrived, although I should’ve known I was kidding myself.
I had my laptop setup playing an online MMORPG in the hospital room when it was getting close to delivery. When my twins finally did arrive, I stuck to my word to not game, but as time went on, I went back to my old ways. I would skip out on going over to her house to see them to play Modern Warfare, or would be on the Xbox while they were at my house.
I sadly even have a picture of one of them in my lap while I was playing Xbox when they were a year old. I was hooked again, and by the time we had got married and moved in together, I had spent over $1,000 in gaming gear such as a headset, video recorder, custom controllers, and games. My relationship with everyone around me suffered greatly, more than it ever had.
My Relationships Deteriorated
I was already distant from the family that I grew up with, and now I was separating myself from the reality of my family that I created. After I had got a full time job all I did was work, game, eat, and sleep. I never talked about games much at work because frankly, I was embarrassed by myself. I had been since I was young and knew I played video games way too much. I remember when I was younger my dad was asked by someone if I played any sports, and he told them “no, he likes to play computer games though”. I think my face got so red from embarrassment that it could’ve popped.
The sad thing is I couldn’t honestly tell you what the first few years of my children’s lives were like. I was working 12 hour shifts, but when I had those few hours of cherished time with my kids, my priority was leveling up on whatever game I was playing.
I’m left with regret of missing out on the most memorable times, and there is of course no way to get it back. As time went on, I began battling myself to quit gaming and focus on life. I knew I was making a negative impact on my family and realized there was no way for me to manage my time with gaming because I didn’t have the self control.
Unfortunately, I would always find an excuse to stop myself from getting rid of everything permanently. The excuses would be from “I can make money gaming by playing in cash leagues” or “I’ll only play a few hours a week”.
I Missed the Wake-Up Call
I had a lashing out over losing in a game that it should’ve been my wake up call. I remember it clear as day, I was getting owned in a team deathmatch on Modern Warfare 3. I was already cursing at the screen like I had done in the past ever since I began multilayer gaming, and got to the point where if I died again, I was done. I, of course, got shot in the face and in that same second, I quickly stood up, threw my controller, and then threw my headset from my head so hard that it broke. Then I took my Xbox and slammed it to the ground not once, but twice. It was beyond pathetic.
After that incident I didn’t game for a little while because well, I couldn’t, due to a broken Xbox. It wasn’t long before I made the excuse that I’ll buy another Xbox and eventually repair and sell the other to get my money back… yeah, that made a lot of sense.
After spending another $500 or more on new gaming equipment, I had everything back. I had the most expensive headset, the new version of the Xbox, a game recorder, and a custom scuf controller. I went straight back into gaming for six hours a day on the weekends and when I could through the week, ignoring what mattered in my life most.
I strayed further and further from the person a father and husband was supposed to be and dove deeper into the gaming world. I began trying to start a YouTube channel (which was a joke), that consisted of reviews for gaming gear, and gameplay videos… none of which I was good at setting up or presenting.
I needed alone time and peace and quiet to have an uninterrupted video so my wife at the time and the kids stayed in a room upstairs while I recorded. I later moved on to dedicating myself to playing in gaming leagues for cash where I easily spent more money than I made. I wasted money on resetting my stats because I was such a stifler for having the perfect win/loss ratio, wasted money on more gear, and wasted my time indefinitely because in comparison to other gamers I was terrible, despite my expensive gear and years of experience. I did win a 1600 Xbox points card, but needless to say it wasn’t something I chose to sell online for money, and rather used to buy online accessories, like changing my gamertag.
Marriage in Free Fall
What really sent my marriage and relationship to my family into freefall was choosing to switch from day shift/2nd shift rotation at work to straight nights for the sole reason of being able to have more time to game through the day.
What ran through my mind was having the ability to stay up past my kids bedtime before I had to leave to spend time on gaming, and have the following morning before the kids and wife woke up to game as well. I purposely sacrificed sleep to game more when I could. I got what I wanted in my own selfish ways and continued to make those around me who needed my attention suffer.
My gaming obsession slowed a bit when my marriage took a big hit. I died down to playing single player games, sold a lot of my gear, and came back to earth so to speak. I still played multiplayer games from time to time, but the hit my marriage took was a stronger focus than Xbox ever could.
I eventually got to the point where I realized gaming wasn’t getting me anywhere and that I was wasting my life away, and it was like looking back and seeing the things I had destroyed… looking at the rubble of structures that were my marriage and relationships, the dust of my empty ambitions, and the pieces that were nearly impossible to put back together of my life.
Divorce
Within a year my marriage took another hit, and that was it. Despite having children together, we separated and I began a new chapter of my life. Games left a sour taste in my mouth because I knew the damage it had caused ever since I began playing them. After moving back in with my parents, I decided to sell everything and quit all at once. It took something so catastrophic such as my divorce to make me realize how much I missed out and ignored in life. I lived in a virtual world and ignored reality.
I hate that I never had the self control to manage my time or just put the controller down and focus on what mattered. There’s nothing I can do about it now, and the only thing I can do is do the right thing from here on out.
Happy Ending
I found the woman of my dreams. My children are in a more stable home, my marriage is doing great, and all in all, I’m who I should’ve been a long time ago. I still struggle with a gaming addiction such as having the want to download a game on my phone, PC, or Xbox from time to time.
But the thoughts always stick with me: What’s the point of playing this? What else could I be doing? Do I really want to dip my foot in this ocean of addiction again?
It usually brings me to putting the controller/phone down and walking away, because I know that, for me, if I let myself go a foot, I’ll go a mile. Instead I focus my time on what matters, on what’s going to make a difference in what I love: My wife, my family, my goals, and my life.
Some of you may be dealing or have dealt with an addiction like this, and I hope and pray you find your way. Whether those who are addicted will admit it or not, some of us just can’t manage our time and don’t have the self control to break away into reality. We’ll make every excuse in the book to continue playing games and make it seem like it’s okay. That’s the struggle with any addiction, though.
Video Game Addiction is Real
The definition of addiction is the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity. Several doctors and sites label an addiction as a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences (Wikipedia).
Drugabuse.gov describes an addiction to drugs “as a chronic, relapsing brain disease”, but upon removing the mindset of drug addiction and replacing it with a gaming addiction, it still fits the answer to the question: is gaming addiction an actual thing? It continues on about “compulsive seeking and use despite consequences, and is characterized as a brain disorder because of how drugs change the structure of the brain and how it works.”
Whether you believe it or not, your addiction and mine to gaming has altered our brains, especially from excessive and extended use. We’ve deteriorated relationships, missed out on learned vital life skills, burned bridges, and the list can go on.
If there was some way I could have the ability to go back and stop myself from ever touching a game, it would at least be at the time when I began getting seriously addicted, because I wouldn’t want to completely erase everything. I would be wiping away moments I cherished with my family playing harmless video games together, laughing, and enjoying ourselves all the way.
Here I am, 26 years old with around 17 years of gaming under my belt, and I am still struggling with it today. I have had several relapses of downloading five to ten games on my phone/computer, enjoying myself for about a week, feeling guilty, and then deleting all the content I had installed.
I’ve even went as far as writing out a vow that I would quit gaming and that I would instead strive to be a better husband, father, and person. Not even a week in I broke that vow, making the excuse that I just need some leisure time in my life. The addiction to gaming will still linger no matter if you’ve defeated and overcome it or not. You’ll see the release of the next chapter to that game you always loved to play or a remaster of an old game with stunning graphics with the storyline you fell in love with. It’s just like any other addiction.
You hear about it, see it, or just plain fall back into it. Before you know it gaming is on your mind again, and it’s all you look forward to everyday. Everything else in your life seems dull and boring without gaming in it. I don’t know how long I’ll last on quitting gaming cold-turkey once again, but this time I hope it’s for good. I’ve done enough damage to my progress in life to let it slip back in and cause my destruction.
Invest Your Time Wisely
I’ve grown to realize how many things I don’t know now that I should’ve learned by now. I could’ve mastered guitar playing. I could’ve graduated college already. I could’ve done things right the first time if I would’ve put those things first in my life. I could be at such a higher level of progress than I am now. I can’t say anything else but coulda, shoulda, woulda. Dwelling on these things isn’t going to get me anywhere. It’s what I choose to do now, what I choose to strive for today that is what is going to get me somewhere.
Will there be setbacks? I guarantee it. Will I overcome them? I hope and pray so. The first few steps are the hardest, just like when a baby is trying to learn to walk. But the more steps I take forward, the easier things are going to get, all the while filling the void that gaming has left after years and years of use.
It’s never going to be easy, but I know that with prayer and support from my family, especially my wife, that I can do it. I’ve overcome it before for almost a year, and I can surely go for another, and another after that, and before I know it, I’ll be gamer-free for 20 years.
Today I make a vow to become game-free. I vow to become closer to my family than ever before, and to strive towards improving my relationship with those that I love, and to strengthen my faith and knowledge in God. I vow to fill the void with my callings and passions backed by Grace, and to always continue to step forward, and at those times when I stumble, I’ll pray for God to lend a hand in my times of troubles. This is the beginning of a new day.
What will you do?
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I don’t really know where to start. I just got out of bed after not being able to sleep for two hours, my mind racing with thoughts. Honestly I am not sure if this is just one of these sleep deprived ‘I-Will-Fix-My-Life’ rants like I’ve had so many times before, where a day or two later I’ll be relapsing and my life will continue it’s all too familiar nosedive once again. I really hope this isn’t the case.
I guess it all started when I was 11, playing my first game that started to consume a lot of time, Maplestory. A friend got me into the game and we would play and grind together, usually at his place. At this age my life was still largely controlled by my parents who wanted me to explore life and experience as much as possible, luckily they also had the funds for it. I was playing field hockey, football, tennis, the piano and occasionally joined my father for a game of golf.
Most of the sports or other things I did I was considered pretty good at and I would end up in the highest teams of the respective sport clubs. I was very competitive and couldn’t handle losing very well. Even though at that age I already enjoyed gaming and losing myself in a completely new world it wouldn’t really ever get to the point of me playing excessively, because my parents controlled basically all things I did. I never was a social outcast either, I had a lot of friends and could easily make contact with everyone. All sounds pretty promising, right?
The Beginning of the End
I live in the Netherlands, so at age 13 you move from primary school to high school which will take six years from that point if you do the highest level, which I did. The first few years of high school were relatively normal; I had friends who I got along with, my grades were relatively high, and I got pretty close to having my first girlfriend which I stopped pursuing after my parents laughed at me when I brought it up.
Although my upbringing was rich of experiences and chances, there really wasn’t any room for emotional parenting. I had stopped playing soccer, tennis and piano because I didn’t want to have to go to practice, when I could just play Call of Duty or Maplestory with my friends. Those were the first things I started giving up in order to play more games, the games I loved so much because they would constantly challenge me mentally.
Fast forward to the 3rd year of high school, a friend introduces the game League of Legends to me. The beginning of the end. This was also around the same time I started to really hit puberty. Playing League of Legends was the world to me. It allowed me to do something competitively with friends, constantly get better at something, and being able to show that I was better. It was the fun I got out of playing sports, but permanently, without physical exhaustion.
I quickly got very good at the game which in turn made me play it more and more. The more I played though, the more things around me would suffer. I chose to quit playing hockey, because it would allow me more time to play, I would stop playing golf with my father, because it would allow me more time to play, and I stopped doing any work for school, because it would give me more time to play. All I cared about was that game and getting better at it.
It gave me a place where I was worth something, better than anyone else, and I really enjoyed the constant competitive challenge, the feeling of getting good at something, which high school really wasn’t providing. I also stopped caring about my appearance, as the only thing that mattered was this game and how I ranked up in it. Buying clothes, showering, using skin products or anything else appearance related didn’t matter to me anymore.
Then Puberty Happened
My puberty kicked in full force, I got braces and as cherry on top I also stopped growing as fast as the other guys in my class. Suddenly I was the long haired, braced, acne-faced little kid, who didn’t play sports anymore, and just played games all day. The only thing that saved me from getting bullied was having friends from the first grades, and the quick wit I had to defend myself verbally.
Even though I recognized that I was becoming ugly, my perfectionism combined with my low self esteem made me all-in on pretending I didn’t care, just so I wouldn’t have the chance of being the guy that tries to look decent, but still isn’t. Both my self esteem and my grades sunk. I barely passed.
I kept playing and playing, and my grades kept dropping and dropping.
The panic started to kick in for my parents. They had already read articles about how gaming ruined the lives of other people’s children, and got (rightfully) scared. This lead to a lot, a LOT of fights. There have been countless of threats to smash my computer down or throw it out of the window which luckily/unfortunately never happened.
On one hand my parents saw that I enjoyed gaming but on the other hand they saw everything else get worse and worse. I got gaming bans, which I dodged by playing when my parents weren’t home or when they were asleep. I have been sent to an after-school organization that forces you to do your homework, which I dodged by always playing the friendly, down-to-earth kid, while straight up lying to their faces about the homework.
My Only Goal In Life
I only had one dream in life, one passion, one goal: becoming a professional gamer. Even though I never wanted to admit that I had also read the articles about people dropping out of school and never making it.
I got stuck between a rock and a hard place, on one hand I really wanted to play the game and try to go pro, and I hated my parents with a deep passionate hate because they were in my opinion the only thing between me achieving my goal, and on the other hand I didn’t want to drop out or throw my life away, and I hated the game with a deep passionate hate because the love I had for it stopped me from achieving any other goal in life. This ever clenching feeling has been going on to this day.
I finished my high school in six years, barely, and then started university studying Law. Law in the Netherlands is the kind of study everyone who doesn’t know what they actually want to do studies. I lived at home for the first year of uni and I managed to pass all my exams because my parents forced me to study and would straight up ban me from playing.
At this point the fights had already gotten to the point of desperate and there was an extremely toxic atmosphere, I wouldn’t look at my parents anymore and they wouldn’t look at me. They would say I smelled, ridicule me for playing, and call me a junk every time. My little brother and sister would happily chime in. Everything I wanted to say or suggest would be angrily shot down while making a lot more nasty comments.
I felt like a stranger in my own home.
I had no self-esteem, I played all day but when I finally started to rank up really high and get approached by bigger teams my parents would ban me completely and I would get worse again. I missed most of the parties and other social events, and became a little awkward because I just didn’t have the social experience the other kids did. This also lead to very little experience with girls.
I Moved Out
By passing my first year of university I secured myself a position at the university and I couldn’t be thrown out anymore by not passing exams. Because of this, my parents decided that I should live in the town I studied in, and so I did. I joined a social club and started a new life there, on my own.
At first things were looking really good. I was getting into social situations, lived on my own, and slowly started to look after myself better and better. There was a big danger though, because my parents no longer supervised me my gaming shot up to a new level. I played and played whenever I could, and I stopped going to my lectures and seminars altogether. I put my time into this game every waking hour and I stopped studying at all.
At the moment it’s been almost two years since I’ve passed my last exam.
I have been ignoring university this whole time, while my parents paid for everything, only doing so because I lied about passing my exams. All I’ve done is go out to drink or game.
My life is a mess. Recently they found out about my lying behaviour and have told me they will stop paying for anything for me ever. I am on my own, and I won’t be able to afford my next year of university. This has forced me to only play more and more to escape the reality of all this and I feel like there is no way out.
The only thing I can probably do is pass my next exams with very high grades and come back home begging for mercy, but I only notice myself playing more and more, not being able to stop. Gaming has made me into someone with very low self esteem, no ambitions, and no dreams. I feel like I’m slowly fading away just playing to keep my mind off all this.
I want to quit. I am done ruining my potential, ruining how I feel about myself, even if it costs me the biggest passion and dream I have ever had, even if nothing will ever fill its void. I have deleted League of Legends but I am afraid my attention span, and probably botched dopamine reward system will just make me relapse.
“Besides my basic necessities to live, I spent all of my money on video games.”
I started to get into video games at four years old. My oldest memory of myself playing video games was me playing some old Tony Hawk games. Yeah, I played my games on the side with my friends and my brothers, but I was for sure not a gamer by any means.
I was an outdoors kind of child – sports, hunting, fishing and everything else in-between. I got along very well with that lifestyle. Video games on the side, everything else up front. I have some amazing memories of couch gaming.
When I turned 10 or 11 is when my gaming experience changed for the worse. I got an Xbox 360 and a few First Person Shooters. The role video games had on my life changed. I went from playing video games on the side to playing video games just as much as everything else. I got really chubby, and stopped riding bikes around town. I stopped having fun.
When I had friends over all we did was play video games. When I was forced to be out doing stuff all I wanted to do was play video games. This was an addiction. I looked for every excuse to play. I still hunted and fished, but I didn’t play sports anymore. If I thought to myself that I didn’t want to do something, I would just replace it with video games.
I had an extensive library of games, since I would blow all of the money I earned from summer jobs away on video games. All of it. Besides my basic necessities to live, I spent all my money on video games up until I was going into my junior year of high school.
I am not even going to go into detail on the fights I have had playing video games. The unhappy hours. The destruction it caused in my life. If you’re reading this I’m sure you know what I mean.
One day early in my junior year of high school, I got home from school and instantly went into my room to load up my games on my Xbox. Out of almost 300 hundred games, I couldn’t find one I wanted to play. I just wasn’t in the mood… and figured I would pick it up again tomorrow. The next day I still didn’t want to play, and I haven’t since. I just don’t see myself having fun playing games anymore.
The real kicker is that I have had time to think about it. Not only do I just not find them fun, I have many reasons to not like video games. I could make a very long list of why, but one comes to mind more than any. Not the industry being trash, and moving in a direction that hurts gamers wallets. Not micro-transactions. Not the toxic community. Not the fake of all the companies. The big kicker… Regret.
Regret
Man do I regret it all. What I could have done with all that time. All that sweet time. Serving nothing. Learning nothing. Not growing. Not expanding. Wasting time. I just have so much regret.
Not too long ago I counted up a fraction of my time spent. Only including my time on Xbox, not any other platform… the first few games out of almost 300 I had well over 8,000 thousand hours and I couldn’t allow myself to even count up the rest. For those of you who don’t know there are only 8,760 hours in a year. God knows how much time I actually wasted.
This is not to say I regret all my gaming experience. I for sure don’t regret any of the couch time with other people in the same room. I don’t regret all the online time, just most of it. I am aware enough now. Think about the skills I could have learned, or the money I could have saved. Think about how much happier I could have been if I were using that time to pursue all the things that actually brought me joy.
Luckily I have remained an outdoors child all these years. Even a social child. I never gave up hunting. I love fishing more than anything. I can’t bare looking at a video game for more than a few minutes without dying from boredom, but I can sit on the river bank, or sit on the lake all day. Feels great to say that.
I hike, I bike, I party, I chase girls, I take drives. I’ll never regret doing these over video games. I have had a few girlfriends, and I think I have some of the truest friends a man could ask for. These past few years have just been the best without video games.
To those of you who are just contemplating in the slightest about removing video games from your life… do it. Sell your gaming stuff. Take action today. The less regret you have the better. Good luck.
This story was submitted by a member of StopGaming. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
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I started gaming as soon as I could pick up the controller, maybe five or six years old. I used to watch my mom and her neighbor play Legend of Zelda and Star Fox on the Super Nintendo and I remember my first gaming experience beating the first Corneria level with a sliver of health only to run out of lives on the next asteroid level!
It was all downhill from there, from being the Nintendo 64 kid (basically) opening up the present under the Christmas tree to skipping class to play my GameCube and spending 6 years playing world of Warcraft around 18 units of college classes.
What did you like about gaming?
What immediately comes to mind is the sense of validation. My parents were very hard workers and were determined to provide me with everything I needed on a concrete level. However I would say withholding of encouragement in things I was interested in. I remember running out of my room to show my parents something exciting in my game only to be rejected or given a quizzical look.
Video games provided simple rules for success: get the exp, shoot the bad guy, score the loot. It made a lot of everything else seemingly too complicated. Things like real life friendships, relationships, responsibilities. I also liked the way video games advanced in graphics, narrative, and art form I think it got me interested in technology, arts from the beginning.
I think the first major wake up call was six years ago when I had to make a phone call to my mom that would make her cry. I had missed a deadline to re-apply for nursing school and I was unemployed at the time. I had been playing Final Fantasy 14 and was deeply involved in a guild raiding regularly.
After the hard smack of shame that phone call represented I got into a private channel with my guild leader and told her I had to quit the game cold turkey. I went on to take month off of gaming altogether and afterwards restrict my gaming to certain genres.
What consequences did you start to experience?
I think I was struck at first by how challenging real life stuff was as I got into my mid twenties… Showing up at work, being sociable in real life, and my school work all took on this “why bother?” quality.
Not being a kid anymore I had nothing to hide behind except video games and I could see it for the first time as the real barrier to life it was for me. Eventually my shame amassed enough that I came to know real depression and neuroticism all the way up to suicidal ideation at one point which I stepped down from and never saw again as I began to take interest in my personal growth.
When did you decide to quit?
I decided to make 2018 the year to quit on January 3rd, 2018. I was laying in bed playing Hearthstone on my phone. I remember I was really mad about losing at an arena run and mad at my phone for having short battery life and my charger cord for being just as short.
All at once I was struck by what an ugly person I felt like. The rage, the inability to come back to real life after four hours of gaming, and the shame worst of all.. it all stood before me in stark relief. And I didn’t want to be that kid anymore.
I had been dealing with the death of my father in November 2017. It had been suggested to me to use video games as a stop gap between me and being totally consumed by this trouble. I decided to use gaming to provide a relief from the grief that had been plaguing me for the month after.
Up until then I had gaming pretty well managed and had it down to short evening single player sessions. But in my mourning I got into multiplayer gaming with Overwatch and Hearthstone (thanks Blizzard for being too good at your job…). I had abused it for most of December before I hit that rock bottom in January.
Did you seek help or support? Start the detox? Relapse?
My plan was to quit cold turkey. I hit really heavy pangs of boredom within a week and it was very surreal. I kept it under control via meditation, running, and what I call my “methadone” in the form of board games.
I picked up a board game called Splendor to play during the very common lulls at work. I also joined a weekly Dungeons and Dragons meet up at my local board game store and made new friends that way.
Those would trigger very familiar cravings but it would be a lot easier to watch and manage as I could only do these in person with a group of people. At days 30 and 60 of no video games I treated myself to an hour of virtual reality with a friend. Through these I found “softer” ways to game.
What benefits have you gotten from quitting?
First I’ve afforded myself a new sense of adulthood. Things like getting a job , moving out of my mom’s house, and finishing school have all helped, but I would always come back to video games to make myself feel small again.
I’m getting a better “can-do” attitude when confronted with issues. My social life is taking a new sense as I find I’m less needy and worried about what people think of me. My inferiority complex triggers much less. When I see a way I want to improve myself it’s become much less daunting to take the first steps.
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
For anyone reading and thinking they can’t do this, you can. You’ve always had it in you, you just have to put it to work. It’s not easy at first, but you will learn to do it in a real and lasting way that you will decide.
The goodness of life is always there if you choose to seek it, you just have to realize it’s not waiting for you on a computer screen.
This story was submitted by a member of Game Quitters. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
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“In the past there have been days when I’ve missed work so I could binge on a game for another day.”
I set a goal to make it 90 days without gaming, and I also included not watching Twitch for a detox. Today marks the 90th day.
What I Learned:
Actually permanently deleting my Steam account and Twitch account were a massive boost. Knowing all the games I had on there were gone forever was ultimately a relief and a weight off my shoulders. If I was tempted to game, not having a steam account was a noticeable barrier.
Reading Respawn was a great way to start. As well as reading others’ posts on here and keeping a journal. Journaling daily, especially at the start, was important.
Ditching my laptop was also key. Having my desktop stationed in the living room as opposed to my bedroom decreased my desire to game.
Keeping a calendar and a to-do list are very important. I now have a weekly dry-erase calendar – I like to look at the upcoming week and plot a few things on there. If I’ve got nothing to look forward to, it’s much easier to fall into despair and making some poor decisions.
Weekends are the biggest challenges, this is when I have large blocks of free time. It’s helpful to journal out possible things to do that day on those mornings.
I’ve been more loose and open to connecting with other people. A great example is my roommates. Before when I was gaming I tensed up when they were around. I didn’t want them around so I could enjoy my game in solitude. But now I’m much more welcoming of the company.
I read more. Over the last 3 months, I think I read at least 200 pages a month, which was much more than the preceding months.
I went to work more. In the past there have been days when I’ve missed work so I could binge on a game for another day. 0% chance of that happening if I haven’t been gaming.
It did get easier, and as it got easier, I was able to put more focus on other challenges and goals.
When I began cutting out gaming there is some evidence that the addiction “switched over” to other things. I would drink more, binge on television, and watch more porn. It’s important for me to be aware of when this happens and actually work recovery rather than allow myself to give in to other things that aren’t healthy for me. My recovery especially involves giving it over to my higher power and connecting with others.
What’s next:
After completing the detox, I have no plans to go back to gaming or watching Twitch. There have been too many benefits of not doing it, and too many poor consequences in the past of when I was doing it. I will also avoid spending time on Discord which I also wasted a lot of time on.
I will experience urges from time to time, it’s just part of being human.
There may be some times when I’m hanging out with some friends or family and they’re playing a multiplayer game. In those situations, I’ll need to assess the situation and how I’m feeling before I dive in. In some of those situations, I think it’s okay for me to game. In others, it’s better for me to pass. Playing a light game for an hour or two is much different than playing a more intense game for 6 hours straight into the wee hours of the morning.
My next goal is 180 days. I will continue to post on the forums once every week or two, read others’ journals, and welcome newcomers. This site is a wonderful reminder of why I chose to quit.
Now that my cravings for gaming seem to be more under control, I’d like to focus more of my willpower on giving up porn. This is the other addiction that has been with me since I was a boy. Other goals include getting fit and getting more involved with my church. All this, of course, means getting out of my house more.
Thanks to everyone in the community who have shared their own journeys and given me some support along the way.
This post originally appeared on the Game Quitters Forum. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
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“I would constantly have thoughts about how much easier it would be for everyone else if I weren’t here.”
I’m a 23 year old skinny bloke hailing from the tropical island of England. From a young age I haven’t been the happiest person, in fact, I’ve been rather negative, easy to piss off, and well a grump in practically every sense of the word.
I never really had issues making acquaintances, I still have my best friends from a good 10+ years back, and wasn’t bullied in school, but for reasons I’d like to keep private, I always hated myself. I would constantly have thoughts about how much easier it would be for everyone else if I weren’t here.
Now I’m not sure if you’ve been in this situation but let me tell you, it’s one hell of a vicious circle. Internally I loved everyone I surrounded myself with, I loved to help people through their problems, I loved giving advice and things of that nature or making them laugh which was usually through self-deprecation.
However, when you don’t love yourself it’s extremely hard to show affection to those around you (those that I did help, I came across as more of a therapist than a caring friend), but when it came to family I was always negative, especially towards my parents.
Negativity Spreads Negativity
So when those people would respond back to me in a negative way that would confirm to myself that I, in lack of a better way of putting this, was a piece of shit.
This persisted for 15 years, getting worse as I got older. I had one way to release, gaming. I never really gamed for the competitiveness, although I will note that I loved shitting on people in 3v3s, 2v2s, and battlegrounds in World of Warcraft.
My main pull to gaming was the escapism, I didn’t feel like I had to escape from anyone or anything, but myself and my own thoughts.
I would play immersive and heavily story driven semi-believable fantasy rpg’s and mmo’s which I could set goals in, for e.g: “to obtain a level up before coming off” for about 12-16 hours a day. Often pulling all nighters.
Obviously on paper this is absolutely not good for my health at all, however I don’t regret it. I know that factually I wouldn’t be here writing this message now if it weren’t for gaming. As cheesy as it sounds it saved me from myself.
So skip ahead a few years of increased parental concern with my gaming, with which they’d wrongly link my bad temper and attitude to games because I would never tell them my actual reasons, for all they knew I gamed so much because I was obsessed, because I loved games for no reason really.
Truth be told a year before last I got in a really shitty state. I’ve always been one to be able to reason with myself, I’ve never self-harmed for the sole fact that I don’t believe in it. If I had reasoned with myself and come to the conclusion that actually nothing bad for anyone would happen if I ended my life, I would have done it.
I never confided in anyone, not even professionals, because I thought I was too much of a burden so I would deal with my own problems. I would either lie there for hours finding excuses for myself or if I felt it was getting too much, boot up the pc and play WoW.
You might argue that getting my head in a good book would be just as beneficial and immersive, however I’d disagree. With video games like WoW they’re not just a game, but an experience, a game so outlandish but with enough elements of realism and believability that you can fully sink yourself into it. You see, hear, and arguably feel everything.
In addition to all of that I could set personal goals to focus on before coming off each day, so it was perfect for me to escape to. At one point during my depression I did try to quit games, thinking that this would somehow benefit me. At first I recall it did, for perhaps a week or so, but quickly it was making me worse as I’d just have nothing to turn to. Things that I’d try to replace it with just couldn’t compete, so I quickly went back to gaming.
I Had Enough
I decided to no longer be stubborn, realizing that I couldn’t deal with my problems alone as they had been progressively worsening over the years (sometimes lying dormant, only to reappear like some twisted whack-a-mole). After much contemplation, I sought out my university’s therapist, who introduced me to a network of support. Through him, I connected with a friend, encountered failed meds, and experienced (as cheesy as it sounds) an epiphany last December. It was during this time that I stumbled upon an online community discussing various coping mechanisms, which included discussions about เว็บพนันที่คนเล่นเยอะที่สุด. Although it wasn’t directly related to my issues, the idea of finding solace in community support resonated with me, helping me to feel like my problems are now truly behind me.
I’m a happy man most days (can’t be happy every day or else I’ll lose the inherently British art of being miserable), loving, caring, and both my friends and family have told me I’m different which I think is good.
I was still gaming as much as before, 12-16 hours a day, up until the 5th of January this year when I realized that actually as ironic as it is, what had helped me to stay sane and somewhat functional for all these years was now actually my big problem.
Because I had become so used to games, it just felt natural from then on to keep playing them, even though my main big reason for playing them so much in the first place (to escape) was gone.
I’d made gaming a habit, and if you know anything about how habits work on a neurological level you’d know they’re factually impossible to completely remove and can only be overshadowed with a more compulsive habit.
I made it my goal to stop gaming because as soon as I realized it was now a problem, I became far less interested in gaming. I stopped gaming altogether without giving a thought to it for weeks. I then realized how empty my life was without it. I had absolutely nothing to fill my time with (besides university work), so my spare time was spent just zoning out really.
I did eventually start playing a game again which led to more games, but nothing like 12 hours, it’d be roughly 8 hours at max but more regularly 3-4 hours not even every day, still a massive improvement for someone like myself.
Where I Am Now
I’ve been looking for things to fill my time with. I’ve changed my diet, eating more regularly and extremely healthy foods rather than normal food (my old diet wasn’t bad, containing no junk food, but I saw room for improvement and increased the quantity).
I do some body-weight exercises at home, I read books, have a focused goal for my actual life now, and have plans for other past times too.
Generally I’m just in a completely better place. I don’t play WoW anymore, but will play the soundtrack and still have the game and hundreds of other games still installed, because I feel this way if I have them but don’t play them I’m not running away from the problem, I’m facing it head on. Listening to the tracks gives me nostalgia, but no longer the urge to play, just fond memories.
This story was submitted by a member of Game Quitters. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
“When I looked back at the 3 years I had spent since college I didn’t see a life well lived, or dreams pursued, I just saw an existence.”
Gaming is a shameful addiction. That is what I felt for a long time, and I know that many do as well. Like so many addicts I hid my problems from even my close friends, loved ones, and of course the weak justifications to myself.
Once you start to fight back against it all the negative emotions you have been trying to deal with come to the surface, and you have to face them, and that is no easy task. I want to tell you a little about my back story and how I was able to stop gaming, and the challenges I still face.
Like many people here I termed myself as having an addictive personality. That was my excuse for a while, but then I looked further back at the origins of where my gaming addiction came from, and diagnosing it’s pathology allowed me to understand it. To put a name to it. In the old mythologies often being able to speak the name of the force of malevolence allowed you power over them that you otherwise would not have.
Origins
Born in the early 90s my first games were all PC based. Early on I remember weekends being spent, not entirely but a good chunk, playing strategy games. I remember walking through BestBuy aisles back when they went three rows deep with PC games and feeling excited.
I didn’t know it then because I was young, and wouldn’t understand it until much later, but what I really wanted was escape. Escape from my family life. My mother remarried a step-father who yelled. He was never physically abusive, but I remember hiding every time they yelled at each other. It was traumatic.
I used to hide under the table in a fetal position when I was six until it was over. Nothing was ever explained to me, but even at the young age of eight I would be sought out as emotional support for my mother to help her cope, and being a good son I did what I could, but in those yelling episodes I wanted to be somewhere else very badly. These memories stuck themselves deep into my psyche.
As I continued to grow up, with all the awkwardness and boredom of adolescence, gaming stayed with me a constant, consistent companion that I could turn to when I was bored and wanted an escape. I cannot now fathom the many lost weekends I had. All those great moments of youth, all those opportunities to mess up and try new things, understand the world better. I knew I lost those to gaming.
College
When college came around I resolved to stop gaming because I knew innately that my experience would not be the same if I continued. And so for a while I did. I didn’t return to the PC games I knew before, but I did have a bad stretch with chess and porn addiction my sophomore year. Come towards the end of senior year the addiction crept back in.
After graduation I moved back home to save money while I paid off loans. Being back in that old environment, and the stress of trying to find a job caused me to relapse, and this time harder. It was everyday until 1 or 2am, only to wake up around 11am or 12pm with most of the day gone and nothing accomplished. I eventually got a job, and then after that one, another came along for a span of 3 years.
I tried numerous times to quit gaming, but that coping mechanism, that escapism built deep inside me kept being triggered, causing me to come back further and further. Things really came to a head when living with a roommate that was never home. I started playing his PS4, and sometimes until 5 or 6am when I would have work at 8am that same day.
Getting 1 to 2 hours of sleep even 1 day a week made the entire week that much harder with everything that I had to do. I knew that I had to stop, but I wasn’t going to talk about it either because I was ashamed. It didn’t fit the mold of who people knew me to be. It seems silly now, because being courageous starts with being truthful with who you are, but true courage like that is not easy to manifest when it can change the way people see you.
90 Day Detox
Talking about it was a big and scary step, but I can tell you right now it is the first step. You are already having these conversations in your head, but you need to speak to someone, maybe someone close, maybe a professional, hell maybe even a stranger to begin with, but you need to speak it’s name. Addiction is a monster that steals life away from you.
It was a very slow process for me beginning close to 9 months ago, and the first step is talking about it and owning up to it. We live in a remarkable and beautiful world where there is endless beauty and opportunity, spending it watching colored pixels move is exactly as those who just watch their own shadow’s in Plato’s Cave allegory.
What really did it for me was that when I looked back at the 3 years I had spent since college I didn’t see a life well lived, or dreams pursued, I just saw an existence.
I knew there were things that I strongly wanted to accomplish, but all of my free time on the weekends was going towards gaming, towards watching passively colored pixels while I made a few clicks. It was so weak and ungrateful for the gift of life that I had been given. My health, my relationships, and my life were spiraling downhill.
The day after an all-night gaming session I would intentionally avoid my girlfriend because all I wanted to do was sleep, and I didn’t want her to see a shameful zombie – me.
Eventually I opened up to her about my addiction.
Owning up to it with her, my family, and God helped to further strengthen my now desperate feelings of needing to end this cycle. I could see where it was taking me. A life filled with regrets and resentment. A life on the sidelines, while I missed out on the greatest game there ever was or will be. I knew that wasn’t me. I wasn’t going to go quietly into that good night. The rage built up.
Soon feelings of “I need this to de-stress” became “I am better than this.” The biggest help in my recovery was initially talking about it and then substituting that bad habit of gaming with productive habits.
This is incredibly important: what drove you into gaming is going to take a long time to deal with, but in the meantime to make the situation better substitute one habit for another – a healthy habit.
In my case it was rock climbing, and reading. With both there were the same challenges of accomplishing something and an enjoyable journey to get there, so it fit right into the dopamine scheme. 90 days past and I still feel urges. But will power is a muscle and it cane be build upon and worked on. Cold showers can help here.
The difference between now and a few months ago is the clarity of mission and direction my life is now going towards. It’s something that others who have stopped can attest to. I am simply living a more fulfilling life filled with more human interaction, betterment, and adventure. I feel more confident than ever and happier with myself than ever before. I see my life trending upwards.
Don’t let ANYONE, especially not yourself tell you that a little bit is ok, or that you are just doing what makes you happy. It is the worst kind of trap. It is the lie told to Eve in the garden that everything will be ok. That there will be no consequences. THIS IS IT. This is the one life that you have, and the time you have now will be gone so very soon. If you take the easy way out you are missing out on joys and adventures 100X than whatever you can get from gaming.
At least that’s the decision I’ve made and I’m grateful for it. I hope you will too.
TLDR;
Gaming was a coping mechanism for escaping family reality
Came back around after college
Every relapse worse
Relapses started to affect life very negatively
Realized I was wasting my life away
Started talking about problem
Replaced gaming with reading and Rock Climbing
Lead more fulfilling life.
There are joys and life so much greater than gaming out there.
This story was submitted by a member of StopGaming. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
Need help?
Reading this and struggling with a compulsion or addiction to gaming? You are not alone. Check out Respawn, a program specifically designed to help you quit gaming and take control of your life back. Backed by scientific research, join thousands of others like you who have quit gaming. Start your journey today.
“I finally realize that I have slowly ruined my wife’s life one [game] at a time over these 10 years.”
Every gamer knows this phrase. We’ve said it countless times. We’ve said it to our parents, friends, girlfriends, wives, and children. For those of you that don’t know the meaning, it’s an endless cycle. This phrase is uttered after every game when we know that it’s time for us to stop playing.
The truth is that we actually mean it when we say it. But if a game ends too quickly or we lose too badly, we believe that there is no way that we can end on that game. Regardless, It’s ‘harmless’. Why can’t I play one more game? What’s so important that you can’t wait 30 more minutes? I’ve thought this way my entire life until my son’s first spring break.
Spring Break
I woke up early and started gaming. He and I were the only people in the house so I could play until he woke up. I was in the middle of an intense game when he awoke. I told him that I would get him some breakfast as soon as I finished. Not long after, my group was done. I got up and made him some breakfast. He wanted to watch T.V. while he ate. I liked this idea because it would allow me to play more video games.
As soon as he is done eating and watching his show, he and I will play together all day. After he finished eating, he asked if he could go to his room and watch a few more videos. Of course! We will both be doing what we want and having fun. This trend continued until his bedtime. He starting crying and making me feel guilty because I told him that we would play all spring break. This was our boy’s week. I told my little man not to worry at all. We had four days left with just us.
The next day started different. He woke up very early and started playing by himself. I slept in because I stayed up way too late playing games. I made him breakfast and he went into his room to watch videos. I hopped on my computer and starting gaming until he was done. He didn’t come out of his room after he finished eating. He probably thought that I would just continue playing. He came out around lunch time. We definitely couldn’t play now. I had to feed him lunch.
After lunch, he needed to take a nap. I will play with him after that. He slept a long time. It was time for supper and a bath. He had to go to bed after that. I was really wanting to play with him today but I just couldn’t find an opportunity.
The next day was going to be different. We were going to play all day. I went into his room shortly after waking up to get the toys ready. His room was filthy. There was no way we could play in that mess. I told him to cleanup and then we would play. He stayed in his room all that day and all the next day not cleaning. It was his fault this time. I was trying to play with him and he wouldn’t clean his room. He finally cleaned it before going to bed on Thursday. Tomorrow was the last day of spring break and we were going to play all day.
Our Last Day
We woke up around 9am and ate breakfast. He wanted to watch a video so I played a game until he was done. We started playing and having fun. We were having a blast. We took a break to eat lunch. My wife called and told me that our baby girl was sick and I had to go get her. Well, playtime was over.
I spent the entire week telling myself that I wanted to play with him and we only played for 2 hours. In all honesty, I play with him all of the time so he didn’t see that week as a big deal. But for me, reality started to set in. I noticed that I was truly addicted to video games.
I started thinking that if I did that to him over the course of one week, how much have I done it to him over the past 3 years? Then a horrible feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times have I done this to my wife?
I can actually pinpoint the day it started. My wife and I were in college. We went to Best Buy to buy a computer. We also purchased World of Warcraft: the Burning Crusade. It was the best and most addicting game that I have ever played.
We only had one account and one computer so we had to share. It was awesome because she loved the game as much as I did. She wasn’t a gamer like me though so she didn’t feel the need to hit max level or grind dailies. She didn’t feel the need to find a guild and do endgame content. This was the main reason that we never fought over the computer. We had some great times talking about the game and made some great friends that played the game.
Eventually, she stopped caring about the game or I made her stop caring. I would allow her to go to bed alone while I raided with my friends. I would stay up late, sleep in, and look for any chance that I could to play the game. I had to plan nights and weekends around this game. It got so bad that I placed the computer in the living room near our T.V. so that I could pretend to watch whatever she was watching while I was farming stuff. This lasted for about 4 years.
After I graduated college, I got a career so it was time to stop this nonsense. I could no longer stay up late during the week so I quit playing World of Warcraft. Now, I could spend all of my time with my beautiful wife.
Our relationship was almost back to normal and then I found my next game: League of Legends. It was amazing and each game was only an average of 30 minutes long. It had the same issue though. I had to plan to play with my friends and I just couldn’t quit mid-game if she needed me. This slowly started to cause problems. We would start fighting. I would compromise or do whatever was needed so that I could get back to the game. Even when we went on dates, I would count the time until I could start playing.
I would text all of my friends a rough time to be on. I would get on immediately after we got home. I mean I just spent with her. What more did she want? My friends were waiting on me. We have our whole lives together and she wants to argue with me over some game time. This made no sense. We always worked through our issues though.
We Had a Baby
Then one day, we got the best news. We were having a baby. Time to grow up and take care of my wife for real and get ready for this baby. I waited on my wife hand and foot. I would get her anything she needed. I would rub her feet until she fell asleep. Then it was game time. I would stay up really late on weekends because it was the only time that I could play.
She was happy though because I was always there for her. She went to bed by herself for almost 5 years now so that wasn’t new. Me not playing all of the time during the day was more than she could have asked for. 9 months flew by. We were ready to be parents.
We did everything together. We were doing great at parenting. Then after I got accustomed to the baby’s routine, I figured out that I could get back on a gaming schedule. I could play League of Legends during the day and raid on World of Warcraft at night. It was perfect. I made a rule that my wife’s nap would be at the same time as the baby’s nap. She would take our son to the park or to a play place and send me Snapchats. It was great. They were both so happy and I was getting to do what I wanted. Being a parent and a husband wasn’t bad at all. Then one day, we received some great news yet again.
We were having a baby girl. It’s just like we always wanted: one boy and one girl. We were truly blessed. I knew my game time was over now and I was fine with that. My wife and son and I moved before we had the baby. We got our house setup and we were so ready. After she was born, we got the whole family in a good routine. They would all nap and I could play League of Legends during the day still.
We would have family time after they all woke up until they went to bed. Then I would hop on my computer and raid at night. It was all going according to plan. I was getting to be a loving father who played with his kids during the day. I was a great husband because I would help clean house and hang out with my wife during the day as well. The night was mine though. After everyone went to bed, I would do what I have been wanting to do. I was living the dream.
My wife and I would fight over the video games occasionally but I would always modify my playing to make her happy. I would still figure out a way to get my playtime while doing whatever she needed. I felt like the best husband and father in the world… until that spring break.
Years of Lost Time
Tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary and I finally realize that I have slowly ruined my wife’s life one day at a time over these 10 years. Thinking about that makes me sick. We were high school sweethearts and she is my soulmate. She deserves so much better. I have deleted all games off my phone and stopped playing all games.
I will start playing again casually when it is time. I want to start going to bed with my wife and making my family feel special. I am blessed to have this second chance and I will not waste it.
I hope to help someone that was in my position. You don’t have to be a full blown addict to ruin someone else’s life. It can slowly happen one day at a time.
This story was submitted by a member of StopGaming. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
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This is the fun part. I am 56 years old. I was born in 1961. So when I was most of you’s age, there were no video games. We had pinball, monopoly, dice and cards. Yes, I am that ancient. I played some Pong when it came out (as a coin-op game). I played Defender and Tempest.
It was like a dream come true when I moved to Silicon Valley and got a great job at Atari. I was a tech on the Atari 800 and 400 (8 bit) computer production lines. Yes, they manufactured them in California. I actually had to play Super Breakout in the course of testing broken computers.
But what we’re really talking about here is PC games. I never got into consoles. I learned to program in Atari BASIC. It got me into programming.
I played the classics on my Atari 800. Centipede, Donkey Kong, Defender, and JumpMan (it’s very addictive). This was around 1984 when I got married.
Later I got a PC and played Scorched Earth, which was a fun port of an old mainframe game. Eventually I downloaded the Descent demo and the Tomb Raiders demo. After my old 8 bit games, I was just freaking amazed at what they had done. I got a disk for Total Annihilation and the first expansion. I actually played that with my daughters.
Then online gaming came. I fell into this cycle of downloading games, playing hard for months, and getting mad at them only to download something else. I stuck mostly to free-to-play games. Now and then I would pony up for some add-on content.
I don’t remember the order, but there was Star Wars: The Old Republic, Tera Rising, City of Heroes, DC Universe Online, Champions Online, Battlestar Galactica Online, Star Trek Online, Eve Online, Blade and Soul, I was in Second Life most of the time. There were other games that I played to a lesser extent.
What did you like about gaming?
I liked that in gaming there was always a little victory every few minutes, because in real life you can go weeks or months without winning anything. I also had hopes that I would find some good buddies online – a guild or league that would become friends and become close. As most of us know, you rarely-to-never find anyone real, and your friends are only as close as your last raid wins.
As a coder I was taken in by the sheer beauty of games. The airless wonder of the early games, the grunge and decay of the more current ones. I still find Homeworld and Tera to be high art.
I would write business database software all day just hoping to be able to one day create such crazy and wondrous programs. I didn’t end up doing much game design though, the abject laziness I had fallen into made it so that I was unable to overcome the hurdles of learning game design. It is quite involved after all.
When did you notice it becoming a problem?
I knew it was a problem in one way or another since forever. I just had too little willpower to even try to do anything about it. Real life made me feel sad and unwanted, at least in games I could beat a boss or level up every now and then.
What consequences did you start to experience?
Well, let’s see. I let my business fail, I lost everything in 2008. Pension, savings, 401K, medical insurance. I had an office for my business downtown, I would show up there at 8AM and come home at 11PM having done nothing but game all day.
On weekends I went in anyway, even though there was no work. It took well over a year to burn through the severance pay (mostly because I had the foresight to pay off my mortgage rather than refinance it 30 times to get a boat or go to Hawaii every year).
When did you decide to quit?
I thought of what my tombstone might look like. Here lies Bryan Valencia, Consumer of Entertainment. Or even worse, Here lies Bryan Valencia, Mediocre Gamer. Take a walk in the cemetery once. You’ll see epitaphs like Beloved Father and Husband. I thought about that, and I realized I was not anything like that. My legacy was checked out loser.
To me, the legacy I leave behind matters. My family, my achievements. I had fallen into a state where I didn’t think anything I wanted was possible. I was in a frustrated, lonely and hopeless place. I would get fed up that I had played a couple years in SWTOR and maxxed out all my characters.
I kept playing until I got all the first level PVP gear. I didn’t know at the time there were lots more levels of gear. I would queue for a dungeon and get trounced. You can’t get better gear unless you win, so I got frustrated, gave millions to some newbies, and uninstalled.
I had done this many times with many games, and I always went back to another game within a few months. I wanted this to be the last uninstall. I had no games left on my computer, but I had nothing else to fill my 40 hours a week, so after a week I loaded another game. I felt like such a failure that time.
The last couple of times, I found that my life still sucked, and I had lowered everyone’s expectations so much that they were living their lives without me. I found that I had NOTHING to fill my time with. I spent days bingeing on Netflix and YouTube.
Did you seek help or support? Start the detox? Relapse?
When I found myself unable to work, I saw a doctor. He got me started on meds. I’m still not sure how well that’s working out.
I started the detox as soon as I read the forums and the material Cam supplied. I made it all the way through on the first try. So far I have not relapsed. I’m over 100 days now. I also started taking a few classes at SkillShare. I actually went to the symphony! I have stopped hoping everyday that my wife will leave the house so I could game undisturbed.
What benefit(s) have you gotten from quitting?
Well, it’s early yet, but the primary thing is I have found hope again. I no longer feel helpless and trapped. I feel like my life may amount to something after all.
Inspire others:
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“I came to Japan with big dreams. Three years later I was stuck at home, with no friends, no job, playing 30 to 40 hours a week. I was depressed.”
Saturday, October the 15th, I completed three months without putting my hands on a single video game (console game, computer game, smartphone game, you name it).
Before I go further, I’d like to make it clear that I don’t have anything against video games. I don’t want to go in this merit, whether video games are good or bad – I’m not qualified for that.
What I want to share with this story is not a debate about video games, but my personal experience with them (and the thousands of others who suffer in silence).
Those who know me well enough know that I’ve always considered myself sort of addicted to video games. I’ve had the habit of playing since I was about 9, when I got my very first console. I was hooked, and since then, gaming had been a part of my life.
The truth is even though I called it an “addiction”, gaming had never brought me problems. I had good grades at school, and many friends with whom I shared different hobbies. I’ve had a band, graduated from college, got a job, learned how to dance, received a promotion, etc. My social life was relatively active, yet I’ve always found time to escape for a few hours on the weekend to play games.
It had been like this for many years. Gaming was just another part of my life.
Living Abroad
One day I decided I had enough of my hometown and tried my luck here in Kyoto, Japan. My plans were to study Japanese for a year in a language school and then, after getting a grasp of the language, find my place in the Japanese workforce as an engineer.
At that time, four years ago, it seemed like a good plan. I made friends from different countries. The classes took only 4 hours a day so I had a lot of free time, much more than what I’d like to have.
I had been to Japan before so I didn’t feel like exploring the city as much as I should. My friends also didn’t seem to be interested in sightseeing either.
I felt like I was in high school once again, when my only responsibility was to do my homework. After finishing it, I had the whole day available to do anything I wanted.
From all the endless possibilities that are available to us in the modern world, I decided that checking which games were hot at the moment was the best idea (ugh!). Fortunately (or more likely unfortunately), one of these games ran perfectly on my old laptop, a game called League of Legends.
When a Habit Becomes an Addiction
After a few weeks I started seeing many of my fellow friends getting better grades than me. That didn’t matter much because I knew I only had to focus a little on my studies to be the best student of the school.
The problem was that I was too busy playing games to focus on anything else.
Meanwhile, I got two different part-time jobs that filled my then 24h/week I was allowed to work under a student visa. These jobs helped me ease the burden I had created of playing over four hours per day, every day.
This situation continued until the end of my classes. As my Japanese was still not good enough, I decided to study one more year by myself and then take the proficiency exam. But deep inside, I was happy as a boy after finishing his last school day. I wouldn’t have to go to school anymore – which means more time to game.
Some of my friends went back to their countries, others stayed at school for another year; all the other people I met in Japan lived in different cities. Home alone, working only a few days a week, I used basically all the time I had left to play and improve my skills in this new game, which was online and extremely competitive.
After another six months without any real life progress (I was getting better at the game), I decided to stop. I had to do something different, for my deadline was getting near and my goals still seemed very far away.
I got a different job, one that gave me the feeling of what it is like to be part of the Japanese society. I got married to my girlfriend, so the working limit I had on my visa was gone. I started working more hours, but I couldn’t stop playing video games.
All the time I was supposed to be studying was used to game more. One year after I had left school my Japanese level still wasn’t good enough to get approved in the exam.
The worse of it all, I didn’t acknowledge that gaming was a problem in my life. I thought addiction, real addiction, was something different, far away from my reality. No, not me. I’m not sick.
Eventually, and with a little bit of luck, I got the certificate of proficiency that I needed. I got approved in my first try on the exam. Six months after all my friends from school got it. Yet, I did it! And that made me go on without realizing the damage that gaming was doing to me.
Depression
Actually, I was only aware of it six months ago, when my work contract came to an end, and I was left with one part-time job, working twice a week.
Playing games was good – too good. It was immersive, challenging, social, stimulating. However, I felt devastated after turning off the computer. I was defeat itself. Millions of thoughts came through my head. I left my family and friends in my home country, quit a good job, and promising career.
I came to Japan with big dreams. Three years later I was stuck at home, with no friends, no job, playing 30 to 40 hours a week. I was depressed.
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to limit my gaming time. I tried playing less addictive games. But I couldn’t do anything but play. I changed from one game to another, always saying to myself “after I finish with this one, I’ll stop”. But whenever I finished a game, there was another cool game being released. There will always be.
After a lot of research on the internet, reading a lot of advice from people who had no idea what they were talking about… I discovered Game Quitters. Suddenly, I finally understood I had a problem with games. A problem that many other people shared.
I wasn’t all by myself anymore.
The gaming habit was strong, very strong, and I struggled another three months before asking for help from the community. But once I took that step, everything started to become clearer in my head.
When you show up and make a public commitment, you will do everything within your reach to keep your word. It was then that I committed to the 90 day detox and to re-evaluate my relationship with video games.
During those 90 days I learned a lot about my addiction and the reasons why I had kept playing video games. I used games to fill in the void I had in my life.
The Change
I had already left behind a huge part of me when I left my home country to come to Japan: my career as an engineer (only a few people know how hard it was for me to get that diploma). Now I was leaving behind another important part, a hobby I had since childhood.
I was losing my identity.
However, this change was more than necessary. I had to get in touch with my inner self and find out who I really was. I had to reach for my soul, begin to dream again and live my life with purpose – a life that I would be proud of living.
Of course, this was not something to be done within three months – to quit playing is only the beginning. It was only a single, but required step.
In the last three months, a lot has changed:
I started exercising again and built better eating habits. I exercise six days a week. I am more selective of what I’m eating. I went from 55kg to 60kg (I’m 178cm tall) and feel a lot better about my looks and health.
I read about 10 books, twice as much as what I had read last year. This was due to a major mindset shift so I could overcome my problem and move forward day after day.
I bought myself a guitar (with money that I would have probably spent on games) and played my first guitar solo. I had been playing guitar for many years, yet, had never been able to play a solo.
I started writing. It started with journaling, then I wrote a few short stories with some friends. This is a new experience to me, and it is something that I never thought I’d be doing before.
I study every day. Not only Japanese, but I realize now that I need a different skill set if I’m going to start something new.
I learned how to cook. Instead of buying take away food every day I often prepare my own food and I cook for my wife twice a week.
The exposure to new (and old) experiences opened my eyes to different perspectives. Today I have a better idea of the things I want for my life.
I understood that feeling good and being happy are two very different things. And that the more frightening thing is the leap you have been planning to make, the bigger choice is the need to make it.
The message I’d like to leave is: my problem was with video games, but you can change video games to a different word and you’ll have a bunch of people who suffer in silence because of a compulsive behaviour that took them over, and keeps them from living a fulfilling life.
Porn, Netflix, alcohol, social networks, TV, YouTube… any of these things can change from a healthy habit to a vice that overcomes you, and drains all of your time without mercy. I can see clearly now the role I was playing in the entertainment industry. I was a consumer.
The world has evolved, and so has our problems.
Maybe there is someone you know that might be alone, in pain, suffering from an abusive habit that keeps her from living a life worth living. If that person is you, reach out. Don’t wait one year like I did. We are stronger together.
The article above was written and published in October, 2016, on Medium in Portuguese with minor edits. Except for one week that I played Action Quake 2 online with my brother (pure nostalgia) for a couple of hours in May 2017, I’m still game free.
I have fond memories of video games, but the thought of playing them again seems so silly to me now. I can easily think of dozens of things I would rather be doing with my time. I want to be a published writer. I want to own a profitable business. I want to teach. I want to learn. I want to make an impact in this world. Gaming just doesn’t fit those goals.
Inspire others:
This story was submitted by a member of our Game Quitters community. Sharing your story is one of the best ways to encourage others to quit gaming too. If you care about this issue, SHARE this article to let others to know that life is so much better without gaming.
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One of my earliest memories was playing Super Mario Bros on the Nintendo Entertainment System. The perfect gateway drug into the addicting world of video games. I played it with my brothers, and eventually on my own when I was given a Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
What triggered this was the day I wound up on academic probation. I was taking very difficult classes at the time, such as Calculus, Physics, Spanish 3 and Macro Economics, but after 12 years of being a straight A student, I was on the verge of flunking out of college. Failure is a wonderful motivator.
Now I was also a very active athlete in high school, competing in track and football and spending any spare time in the gym, or playing video games. To give you an idea of how active I was and the way I was eating, I often drank a Slimfast with my dinner, which was large without the meal replacement drink. I’m guessing around 5,000 calories a day, but I would still lose weight after a season of football.
So when I entered college, I had no concept of a healthy diet and was accustomed to significant activity. I was spending my days playing College Football on the PS2 and a lot of Command and Conquer online with another friend from High School and spending my nights at parties drinking.
Between the amount of beers I was consuming, and the late nights of gaming, I had gained the stereotypical freshman 15. Except I was an overachiever so I managed to do it all in one semester, not one year.
After one semester of freedom, I had managed to nearly flunk out of school, gain 15 pounds, and was wasting my youth by drinking or gaming throughout most of my days. I needed a restart, but I was overwhelmed and unsure how to do it.
One morning my father came up to Champaign for a visit, and I told him that I was on academic probation and asked him for advice. I was terrified and not used to failure. He told me that I basically had two choices.
One, I could drop out and transfer to a different school which only angered me but I bottled it up for now. The second option he told me I had, was to buckle down and get my GPA up over 2.00 and to maybe switch majors.
Looking back on this, I wonder if maybe he was trying to get me fired up because he knew how competitive I was. I told him I liked Economics and he asked what grade I got in that class. It was my only A out of my 5 classes.
Well, now I have a goal, and like a gamer, I had an achievement in sight and I was motivated by not letting anyone else know that I had failed. I enjoyed Economics so I switched to that as my new major. I needed a 2.50 GPA to be accepted and would thus need a 3.20 GPA in my second semester to accomplish this. I was just focusing on survival at this point, but I hoped for the best, regardless.
I didn’t think at the time I would need to quit gaming, but I decided to not play games until my GPA was back up over 2.00 so I could stay in school. The following semester I never touched the games, and I didn’t drink at all. I was going to bed at reasonable hours and waking up refreshed. I felt reborn and ready to conquer the world, or at least the very manageable classes on my schedule.
In my new classes, I had run into an old basketball rival who had the same major as me. We spent our youth beating each other up playing in countless basketball leagues and for one summer, even played on the same team, so I knew him well and was happy to see a familiar face in a classroom of about 500. We exchanged numbers, or maybe it was AOL Instant Messenger names; this was a few years ago.
Anyway, we end up meeting to play basketball several times a week. I love to be active, but I admit, I hate the treadmill. I usually can’t run a mile, but in basketball, I probably run several because its enjoyable. The trick to losing weight is finding an activity where you are having fun, or you won’t stick with it.
Fast forward to the end of my second semester and I have lost the 15 pounds, found an old friend and most importantly, had a 3.20 GPA for the semester which brought my average up to 2.60. I was accepted into my new major and had gained and lost the freshman 15 all during one hectic year. After all of that, thank God for Summer vacation and other summer hobbies.
Online Gaming: A New Challenger Has Appeared
Over the next few years of my college days, I got back into gaming. I had mastered the balance of getting school work done and enjoying my leisure time with gaming, but it still came at a cost.
This was the time when online gaming went mainstream and Grand Theft Auto IV and Call of Duty 4 had just been released. I wasn’t prepared for how addicting gaming was about to become and got sucked back in. Now my grades didn’t suffer, but I recall playing around 250 hours of Call of Duty 4 and probably an equal amount in GTA 4.
There are simply much better ways for a man to spend his days; especially when literal days’ worth of time was being devoted to a single video game. I would go back and forth with this addiction depending on how much free time I had, but basically my default hobby when I had time to kill was gaming.
I knew there were people out there who were more obsessed with gaming, but that type of thinking leads to a life of mediocrity.
So yeah, I would hang out with friends, play games of basketball and go to class… well, most of the time. Still, at the end of the day, I knew I was missing out on life by chasing virtual achievements and trophies that were ultimately meaningless and that leads to an unfulfilling lifestyle.
Despite all the struggles of my first semester, I had managed to graduate with my degree and had landed a job with a Fortune 500 company. All the struggles and hard work had finally paid off with a good paying job. I started this job and was living in a small town in Indiana, where I knew absolutely zero people, but times were tough and I was grateful for the job.
I would go to work and stare at a screen all day, and then go home to again, stare at a screen.
Occasionally I would go out for drinks with coworkers and even took up kayaking with one of them. Most of my time however, was spent in front of screens and, with a good income and not many friends, gaming became my go-to outlet for fun and social interaction.
I did make friends online, and would play games together but it was still lonely at times. I worked long hours and after going to the gym, I would be pretty worn out and gaming was how I would relax.
I later moved to another town in Indiana that had a bit more going on and made better friends over time, but when you are new to a city, it takes time to meet people. So, when you have nothing better to do, you go back to old habits.
I remember one weekend I discovered Mass Effect. I had heard it had a good story and was fun so I started playing it one Saturday morning after breakfast. I was immediately hooked with the story and had lost track of time. I remember stopping to go smoke and I was shocked when I noticed it was dark outside. I just couldn’t believe how I lost track of time but I was fully immersed in this game.
I had missed lunch and dinner and it was almost midnight. I made an unhealthy quick meal; maybe pizza, and watched Netflix, then went to bed. The next day I did the same thing and again, I had missed two meals.
Now I like to eat and even get a little angry if I don’t eat often enough so this was rare behavior for me. Though when I got immersed into a game’s story, occasionally I would forget to eat or just grab something quick and unhealthy.
I had beat the game and it was one of my favorite games I have ever played, but it came at a cost. I had wasted an entire weekend sitting on a couch playing some game. I would do this again when The Last of Us came out and to a lesser extent with Battlefield 4 on numerous days. Its moments like this that create responses like “nothing much” when people ask what you did all weekend.
I really didn’t have one singular moment that made me quit gaming, but I had a bunch of different epiphanies over the years that culminated in the decision to quit.
One of them was an app on my phone called Pacer that was essentially a pedometer. What is nice about a pedometer is you can’t argue with it and claim to be active when in reality, you sat on a couch all day leveling up fake characters. I was getting 2,000 steps some days, 3,000 or so, but getting the recommended 10,000 seemed impossible.
Additionally, I stumbled upon information about non Gamstop casinos in the UK, which piqued my interest due to their promise of anonymity and fewer restrictions. This discovery made me more conscious of my online activities and the importance of balancing them with real-world interactions. Another motivator was the movie Yes Man, which sounds silly, but the idea of saying yes to life really captivated me and completely changed my life, which is a story in and of itself. To save time, I will say that being more open-minded and saying yes more often opens a lot of doors that normally are ignored. I found myself doing all sorts of things I would typically pass up for gaming. I once jumped off a 40-foot cliff into a lake, and I’m petrified of heights.
Now the day I quit was March 17, 2017 and at first the decision was made for me. My wife walked out and she had her own addiction issues, but I was forced to figure out how to raise my newborn son and work at the same time.
Obviously, I had a lot of help from my Mother and from another wonderful woman, but the situation forced me into Cam’s 90 day detox of gaming.
I just didn’t realize it until later when I started to look at my gaming hobby as an addiction. The more I read about addiction, the more I started to fear maybe I had my own issue. I wasn’t as obsessed as many others were, but at the end of the day, I didn’t want a wasted life. I don’t want to get old and look back and have all these memories of sitting on a couch spending time in a fantasy land.
Some of my greatest memories over the years involve spending time with friends and exploring the beautiful real world we are so fortunate to have. Memories like a trip to Nashville for a bachelor party, a weekend in New Orleans, a 311 concert in the middle of the woods of Illinois, hiking through Dismals Canyon in Alabama and all the weekends I went kayaking in Indiana.
None of these memories involved video games. It was all about finding adventure in the outside world and once you get out there, you realize that life is too short to experience all of it, so why waste time in front of a screen?
How do I spend my days now?
I like to get active as early as possible; I find movement is better at getting the juices flowing than coffee or any energy drink. Most mornings, I will hop on my exercise bike and knock out a mile or two. Then I do yoga, which has been an amazing experience. I meditate to calm my mind from all the noise and refresh.
On weekdays I have a pretty demanding job, but I try to get up and move throughout the day despite the position as desk jockey. In my spare time, I like to ride my bike, hit the gym, go for walks in the woods, spend time with family and read. I have already read 5 books this year and plan to read 24.
I started writing almost every day as soon as I quit gaming. Without all those hours wasted in the virtual world it is amazing how much time you have and what you can discover about yourself.
Recently, I took the writing and started to share it online on my website, Helm of Awesome. It has been quite the experience and though new, I have received so much positive feedback and had genuinely interesting conversations with others online.
One thing I have learned is if you open up a little, there are often other people who will reach out and share what they know or what they might struggle with. The website takes up a lot of time and finding time to write is not always easy, but it’s been very fulfilling to share with others and has helped me find a more positive neighborhood of the internet.
I find myself being more relaxed and at peace now too. Gaming can be aggravating and frustrating at times, but substitute exercise, nature and meditation and you will find a calmer version of yourself.
I have learned that being fit is not about dieting and exercise programs so much as a lifestyle. If you want to be athletic, you must make time for being active and every hour on the couch adds up fast. Now I regularly hit 10,000 steps a day and will be over 15,000 on the more active days.
I don’t feel rushed to get back to an online game anymore and will take the time to eat healthier meals. I almost never eat fast food, soda or junk food anymore as I have supplemented my diet with more fruits and vegetables. I lost around 10 pounds or so and then gained another 10 in muscle all over the course of a year.
I feel more focused and energetic at work, and I have the time for more interesting activities which leads to more interesting conversations with people. I am in a new relationship with an amazing woman who helps keep me positive and brings me more happiness than I thought possible.
Gamify Your Life
I like to rant about the dangers of technology but with the right mindset and discipline, our smartphones can really help benefit our daily lives.
I mentioned the Pacer app which motivates me to get up and move each day. I find myself competing with my past, trying to set new records for most steps and increasing my average step count.
I also use a meditation app called Insight Timer which tracks your time spent meditating. Most days I will take 5 to 10 minutes and open up Duolingo to practice Spanish.
I have another app called Productive that tracks habits. I added habits like meditate, yoga, read, write, drink more water and others to remind myself of what I have and haven’t been doing. It will track your streaks and show how often you maintain these habits.
Accountability is huge when starting new habits. Us gamers love to watch progression and with stat tracking in these apps, we are still able to measure progression but in a healthier manner here. All of these changes have led to a healthier, more fulfilling and much happier life.
This story was submitted by a member of the Game Quitters community. Want to inspire others? Submit yours here.
“One time I played until 5am. I was only seven or eight years old then.”
This is my experience with gaming and why I continue to abstain.
I was recommended by my dad to really try and dig through my life and remember how games affected me and the difference from then and now.
I think doing this will be a good tool to prevent relapse. It is very hard to think about the negative effects gaming had on me. To be honest, the details are really fuzzy and those memories don’t come back easily.
I’m writing this to remind myself to continue my detox forever.
I am 17 years old now, a senior in high school. I’m Chinese-American, probably on the intelligent side, and focused in school. I started dancing when I was four, and continue diligently today. Last year I moved away from my family and friends to attend the Orange County School of the Arts, and I decided to quit gaming.
My first experience playing video games was on an old computer, with an old cd, playing a game called bot with my dad. I was really into it, too much, actually. Was I born with this addiction?
I started actually gaming in elementary school, playing Pokemon on a Nintendo DS with my sister. I remember walking home playing the game, and also playing through the night trying to beat the game before the rental was over.
One time I played until 5am. I was only seven or eight years old then.
I remember finishing my work so fast in second grade, my teacher would let me go to the computer room and play some sort of airplane game on the computer.
Then I remember stealing other people’s games.
I once stole my babysitter’s gameboy and also a DS of a kid I was staying with in the YMCA. I feel ashamed to write this, but also empowered. The past is the past.
Of course at that time, I didn’t really realize the significance of my problem. Everybody else was playing so why couldn’t I?
I had a clubpenguin account and spent hours on it with my sister. I was so addicted. When the monthly subscription was ending, I stole my parent’s credit card and payed for another month. They found out, of course.
I don’t remember the consequences now. All of them blend together, and none of them worked.
Middle School
I entered middle school and made new friends. I started focusing on dance more, trying harder in school, trying to fit in with middle school social life. I’ve always been an intelligent kid, so school was never too difficult for me to pass. I think this is why I always went to games.
I became super addicted to Minecraft.
I would finish my work so fast and have nothing else to do that games became so immensely fun. I got really into Minecraft because all my friends were playing it. The idea of multiplayer games was so attractive. All of us could play at the same time and have fun together! Even now, I still associate Minecraft with happy memories.
I would always play on the school computers in the library. Sixth, seventh, and eighth grade passed by with me visiting friends to play at their houses because my parents wouldn’t let me, although I did figure out the password to our home computer multiple times by secretly watching them typing when I asked them to login for me (to do homework).
Then when they were asleep I would get up in the middle of the night to login and play Minecraft throughout the night. If there is one thing gaming affects, it is your sleep. I even got to the point where I was playing right in front of my parents, thinking I could hide it with alt-tab before they looked to the side to see me.
Keep in mind at the end of every paragraph, I remember something terrible I did. My parents got me a Kindle for Christmas, one that was black and white and didn’t have games on it. Me being me, I found a way to have video games on a paper-white Kindle.
A lot of the games cost a dollar, and the Kindle was already connected to my parent’s Amazon account. You can imagine what I did. I bought the first few games carefully, waiting to see if my parents would find out. When they didn’t, I ended up spending $400 on stupid Kindle games like word searches and Sudokus.
Now is where I see my problem so clearly.
High school came around. This is where things get really bad. The new game everybody was playing was Hearthstone. At the time I was trying to quit so I told everybody that the game was stupid and I wasn’t going to play. But then, the peer pressure was too much to handle.
Everybody was talking about the game and I wasn’t being included because I didn’t know anything about it. So I started.
Eventually it came to a point in the game where you had to spend money to get more fun, more interesting gameplay. So how much did I end up spending? Upwards of $500.
This is when I also started watching streamers and YouTubers. It was easier to hide, and easier to access, so it was better for me.
Again I tried to stop, as I did the five times before, and each time I believed that this time, it would work, but again, it failed.
Junior year came around and it was the worst. The new game was Clash Royale. I got so into it. I didn’t have a phone so I found ways to play on the computer. When my family was eating dinner, I would tell them I was doing homework but I was playing games instead.
I’m sure they knew what I was doing the whole time. I’m not that good at hiding things, we never are.
Clash Royale was a cheaper game, but I still spent $100-200 on it in total. Oh and the way I would hide the transactions was by buying gift cards and using them instead of a credit card. I had a lot of saved cash to spend over the years. I was playing games during class time constantly on the school laptops.
Gaming Affected My Energy
The thing I hate most about games are the way they affect my energy. I only started to notice the effect they were having on me in my junior year. I found that often I would decide to go home because I was too tired to dance, or I “had too much homework” even though I know now that I could’ve finished it easily.
I haven’t talked too much about me and dance, but it has been my passion for six years now. The fact that gaming was taking over my commitment to dance is a serious thing.
During this period in junior year, I lacked inspiration to do better in school and dance. I could not get it from other people, nor myself. I was stagnant, not growing, and just living with this constant desire to be playing games.
A Turning Point
On the positive side, I gained inspiration after watching a fantastic dance show. I decided I wanted to be a dancer and that I would switch schools and move away.
Moving to a new school gave me the opportunity to start new, to change who I was, to change the people I had around me. With the new me – I was a non-gamer – a person who stayed away from the internet in general. And I started the detox before I moved schools.
I decided with my workload, taking 5 AP classes and dancing four hours a day (at an arts school), that I wouldn’t have enough time in my schedule to finish my school work, dance, and play games. I am now on day 187 of my 90 day detox.
I’ve spent over $1,000 on games when adding it up.
All of this money is put to some virtual world, trading my real money or my parents real money for some fake gold or gems or something stupid like that.
7 lessons I’ve learned from my experience without games:
1. Do the detox. I still have a hard time remembering these horrible events in my life because I don’t want to remember them. Everytime I spent more money, I forgot about the last time I’d spent money on games. I don’t think I could’ve remembered any of this before the detox.
2. After the detox, do what I’m doing now. Try and think about your life and all the negative things it’s done to you and how much better your life has gotten after, either socially, or emotionally, or physically (working out). I personally believe this will help prevent relapse.
3. Continue your abstinence after 90 days. Don’t treat it as a mark to start playing again. After thinking about how your life is after, it should be easy for you to continue.
4. Follow Cam’s advice. There is a list on Game Quitters that has a lot of fun hobbies. I picked up photography to substitute gaming in my free time. Whenever I get bored instead of gaming, I watch photography videos and go out and practice. Something that a lot of people do is work out instead of gaming.
5. YouTube and Twitch as just as bad as gaming. Watching games gives you the same thrill and dopamine rush as playing. Don’t see these as better than gaming because they really aren’t. Don’t say you quit gaming but are still watching Twitch daily. Trust me, I tried this.
5. Delete your accounts. Yes, I know it’s hard. You’ve spent money on your accounts, you can still keep them there in case for the future when your addiction is gone. But your addiction is never gone. Isn’t the goal to quit gaming? So why have them sitting there, tempting you? Just get rid of them. They aren’t worth it.
6. If you find yourself struggling in quitting games, change your surroundings. Move somewhere, start getting out of your comfort zone and make new friends. I’m not saying you should ditch the friends you currently have, but maybe you should leave them to their own world of games and try to interact with other people.
7. Saying things aloud. Letting yourself hear your own honest words is so much more difficult than writing it down. Instead of just writing a journal, try and say it to yourself (something I’m still working on). Hearing yourself say it has a huge impact on your beliefs.
There are so many benefits I’ve gained from my decision to quit playing video games. I have more time, more energy, more happiness to pursue dance, school, photography, card magic, and a social life!
My friends are more real, and we have more personal connections instead of commonalities with the games we play. I dance four hours a day, have school for five hours a day, and still have time to practice my hobbies. I have become more confident as a person, I have become more open, more assertive, and more honest.
This story was submitted by a member of the Game Quitters community. Want to inspire others? Submit yours here.
“I began to get very angry when something went wrong in a game.”
There I was, 12 years old feeling for the first time the amazing thrill of being able to play Mario on my brand new N64. It was amazing.
I woke up every morning at 4am to play a bit before school. Then came more games after Mario, and then even more. I began to get very angry when something went wrong in a game, and I remember growling in anger uncontrollably in front of the TV.
Middle school started, new games, new PC, new possibilities of gaming.
School became hell. I was bullied, ridiculed, and stalked during every recess. I ran away from school many times, and became good at manipulating adults into doing what I wanted, while fearing and hating people my age.
How could I endure years of that? How could anyone? Well, games.. Games gave me the release I craved, the peace of mind I needed, and a place to be myself. Or so I thought.
Age 26. All these years in isolation and fear eventually led to depression. I became dependent on games to give me the needed escape, justifying gaming as the only thing in life that makes me happy. I was wrong.
At age 28 I was done with my life, games were no longer giving me that peace of mind, and I lost the will to keep going, but somehow I endured, and oh boy was it worth it!
At age 31 I decided to give myself one more year of life, only one more year. It was a gift from myself to myself, no one else had power over that decision.
I willingly gave myself time to do anything and everything in order to find a way to be happy, and alive..
Therapy, psychiatrists, enlightenment, mindfulness. I did all of it. I improved, but not in any significant way. Then one Friday evening, I was playing a recently purchased game and was having a great time looking forward to a whole weekend gaming. I went to the bathroom, and looking down at the toilet, I had this crazy thought…
“If I ever wanted to quit gaming, this would be the hardest moment to do it”
This thought gave me the chills.
I felt excited. Then my mind released the well known storm of reasons why I wouldn’t be able to do it. My brain was on fire, I felt anxious, fearful, yet excited. Needless to say it was one of the most psychologically intense visits to the toilet in my life.
As I walked back to my room, my heart was pounding like crazy, I knew that this moment would define my life, my mind was at war! The most epic battle for the future of mankind!
I raised my index finger, and slowly pushed down on the button, holding it down for a moment and then.. Blackness. The battle ended. I disconnected the PC, put everything in boxes, and stored it in the attic. And that was that.
One Week Later
I started feeling strange, and I felt the need to play something! I needed an escape. So I went online and searched for a way to calm down, and that’s when I found Game Quiters and the 90 day detox challenge.
This was perfect, someone already figured out a way to quit gaming, and there is actually a community around it!
Awesome! So I did the 90 days, reporting in daily. It was hard, sometimes very hard, but when I needed it the most, Cam sent me a video of him talking about the exact feelings I was feeling right then, and It helped me a great deal to know, I am not alone, I am not the only one.
I was a sad little man before the 90 day detox. Now I have a life I want to live, and games don’t even come close to the emotions I get from living every day on the edge, constantly doing things I have never done before, taking roads I have never taken.
If you are gaming a lot, I challenge you to stop for 90 days. If you complete this challenge, your life will level up dramatically, not by magic, but by time and effort. You will get back a huge chunk of time, and energy that you spent gaming, use them well, and change is inevitable.
Fun Fact: From the research we have done with Dr. Daniel King from the University of Adelaide in Australia, members who quit gaming for 90 days found a 2x improvement to their overall well-being, evaluated across twelve different measures including Emotional and Physical Health, Relationships, Focus, Time Management, Appearance, and others.
This story was submitted by a member of the Game Quitters community. Want to inspire others? Submit yours here.
I had already taken with a 12-month “break” last year but this was still a big step.
A few days into this new chapter, I’m happy to report that…
I feel freer, more focused on my dreams, and more aligned with my values.
Today, I want you to consider an important question:
Are the benefits from social media (entertainment, updates on your friends’ life, access to information, etc) really outweighing the pitfalls (increased distraction, social comparison, egoic desires to be “liked”, etc)?
Only you can answer that question but it MUST be asked.
So many people go through life doing what everyone else is doing, without asking the key questions:
Is this making my life better? Or am I just following the herd?
I suspect if more people consciously evaluated their relationship with social media, many would leave in a heartbeat.
Social Media Tricks Your Brain
I recently got clear that beyond the obvious disadvantages of social media (outlined above), it was tricking my brain is nasty ways, especially the app TikTok which is very addictive.
It “satisfied” my need for human connection (in a cheap way) without any motivation to give my friends a call and organize in-person activities with them.
It gave me a false impression of success (ie, if one of my posts got 100+ likes) and made me less hungry to do the hard work that really matters.
It was giving me quick dopamine hits but was taking my attention away from the beauty and magic surrounding me at all times.
Despite these facts, doubts swirled through my mind:
“Is it going to hurt my business?”
“Is my social life going to suffer?”
“Am I going to miss out all the cool events?”
What I did next was critical.
I pragmatically evaluated my fears (instead of letting my monkey mind run wild) and after assessing each one, I became confident that without social media…
My business would improve.
My social life would get better.
I would do MORE cool stuff, not less.
Watching this TEDx talk by Cal Newport also helped:
So now I invite you to reflect on these questions:
Why do you use social media?
Is it really making your life better?
How would your life be different without it?
If you’re going to devote your precious time and attention to social media, let’s make sure it’s making your life better, not worse.
Phil Drolet is a peak performance coach for entrepreneurs and helps his clients grow their business faster by optimizing their productivity, emotional mastery and online marketing.
“This cold, dark piece of plastic that I could hold in my hand had changed me into someone I did not know.”
Life outside the game was at an all-time worst. I was out of shape, I didn’t have friends, and when I wasn’t failing tests or sleeping in class, I was faking sick and skipping school.
My room was a mess. It didn’t matter. An empty pizza box was on the floor. I didn’t care. My homework wasn’t done. I could do that later. I was focused on the game and I had no worries. Besides losing, that is.
I had thrown controllers before and gotten very angry over gaming, but this time was something completely different.
I felt a jolt of frustration and punched the wall. The pain went straight to my injured elbow and I clutched it to my chest, trying not to cry out and wake up my family.
Self Harm over a Video Game?
It sounds ridiculous, but considering that I had elbow injuries in the past, that was pretty low. I checked the time and it was 3am. Oh well, I could do my homework after just one more game. Yeah, just one more game. It couldn’t hurt.
I played a few more games and checked the clock again. 4:30am on the dot.
I came to the decision that I was too sick to go to school. I was sick, and I couldn’t accept that school was actually the cure. I trudged up the stairs, gasping for air, feeling like I had just climbed a mountain. I woke my mom, and shamelessly told her I had a terrible cold. She’ll let me stay home, I thought to myself foolishly.
Deep down, I knew she probably didn’t believe me, but was hoping she would let me stay home to use the day to get adequate sleep. But instead I got a single word: “No.” I wanted to argue. I wanted to argue badly. But I felt something deep down that told me not to.
I marched downstairs, almost tripping in the dark. I picked up the controller. I stood there and stared at the controller. This cold, dark piece of plastic that I could hold in my hand had changed me into someone I did not know.
I Dropped the Controller.
A single thud in the darkness. I snapped the lights on and looked at my reflection from the screen. My eyes had dark circles under them and my skin had lost some of its brown coloring. I saw mediocrity. I did not want to be this person for the rest of my life.
I pulled out every single wire. I put every game in a box before I could think twice. The moment the box left my hand, I felt free from the self destructive merry-go-round that I had been riding for nearly a month.
I would have to suffer through school the next day. It didn’t matter. I felt a new courage to stand up to the bullies. I spent money on those video games. I didn’t care. My elbow felt like it was being repeatedly stabbed. I could live with it.
Sitting in the dark at 5am, ready to get up for school in one hour, I was excited. I did not need to look at myself to know I was a completely different person than I had been 15 minutes ago, and it was all thanks to me.
My new mindset led to action over the next few months, and although my elbow did not get better (gaming led to increased elbow pain), I took the time I had been putting into video games and got the best grades of my life, started a business, and learned yoga.
I had realized something very important: I did not want to accept living an average life and it was up to me, and no others, to make that happen. Video games were one thing that I needed to let go to become my vision of my best self.
This story was submitted by a member of the Game Quitters community. Want to inspire others? Submit yours here.
“What should I try first, quit gaming or killing myself?”
Since I was very little everyone noticed I was really smart. Calling oneself smart right from the beginning usually raises some eyebrows. In my case, it wasn’t a blessing to brag about, or a one-way ticket to instant success. It felt like a curse for most of my life.
Much later I found out there are common issues that come in-hand with unchecked intelligence: overthinking, procrastination, depression, increased school failure rate…
It’s not so cool to just have neurons and not the first idea of how to use them or why, as it wouldn’t be so cool to be stranded in an island with a million dollars. If you feel like this too, I get it. You’re not alone.
I talked “weird”, I acted “weird”, I was “socially unfit” according to some teachers and doctors. Then I was bullied.
At Home Things Were A Mess
My father drank too much, my mother worked too much, my grandma doted me too much. Everything in my early life happened in excess. It’s an excess to talk fluently about politics at 5, being dropped from a car and left behind in a parking lot at 7, or still spoon-fed and dressed, like a French king, at 10. Though I regret nothing. Even if I could.
I will never say I was “bound to”, or somehow destined to game too much. But I also recognize a universal truth: people like to feel good. When things are tough, we like to break away, find our personal safe spot and get our much needed dose of dopamine and comfort. Nothing wrong with that: pleasure, satisfaction, relaxation, and enjoyment are all main drivers of the human experience. They are what make us do new things, or keep going at the old ones.
Most times. Dopamine and comfort can also lead to escapism and stagnation. I came to know both too well.
Everything about video games was positive at first. My cousin and uncle introduced me to the world, family members that I trusted, fellow men to look up to. My gig was PC turn-based strategy, mainly the Total War Saga and Paradox. I could forget my problems and feed my ego with an endless (and repetitive) stream of megalomaniac fantasies.
I was still a child so I wasn’t allowed to meet people online. I guess this makes my story a bit different from the average gamer. Instead I could go to my uncle’s place every summer and show him my improvements, fairly good for a kid but still meaningless considering I was playing against a dumb machine. That’s the reason why if someone asks, I’ll usually say: “I wasn’t even good at them”.
This isolation actually helped me a lot when I quit many years later: thankfully no social interaction also meant no gaming friends to say goodbye to, no habit of playing free-to-play MMOs, and so forth. I ended up buying all my games (that means making my mother buy, with lies and sometimes threats) for pride and achievements, and the economic barrier set by getting rid of them always kept me from returning when everything else failed.
Things Got Out of Control Fast
From 8 years old onwards the only activity I can mostly remember was video games. The same two or three games, again and again. Like a literal drug I’d take to numb myself.
I had a serious case of unattended existentialism and the first thing I noticed when I stopped playing was how little the games were the actual problem and how deep I was trapped inside a pit of never-ending despair. That realization was yet to come.
Meanwhile, I dropped high school, all my relationships were toxic, and I had nothing to wake up for in the mornings. In fact I didn’t. I entered a gaming-passing out-gaming cycle. 8 hours a day. Then 12. Then 16. Every day.
For me, quitting was a quest for meaning in its purest form. To keep playing meant not asking the real questions, to hide from the most basic layers of reality. Scared to live, I was dead.
When I was 19 I felt I had enough and fled from home.
I was then reading The Element (Not The Secret, mind you) and my head formed the crazy idea that if I went and stood in front of the right places, like the book implied, something would happen, decidedly relevant and inspiring. A life-turn.
It did. I reached Seville and while vagabonding I stumbled upon the Dramatic Arts School. I had discovered theatre at 16 and loved it, so there was not a single doubt. It was a hell of an adventure, if you want the crazy details you can read them here.
In summary: in only two months, I transitioned from socially awkward high-school dropout, to college student living semi-independently with two amazing girls, lots of new friends and a bright future to look forward.
And Then, Video Games
Not simply video games, to be fair. Again, games were just a symptom; the pretext, the mind-numbing drug. In the end I was terrified to take responsibility and choosing to be, not simply to exist, with all its consequences and metaphysical fright. There are incredible things in this world, things worth every challenge they can throw at you to get them. However I would not allow myself to accept that yes, I wanted those things.
Yes, I could fail. Yes, it could happen to achieve everything I wished for and then become bored or disappointed. And yes, I would eventually die and “lose” everything I fought for. I wouldn’t come to terms with life as something fluid, changing, relatively ephemeral, supposed to be that way and therefore not a bad thing in the slightest (after all, it’s not like there are alternatives to compare, outside a game, I mean).
But no, I wouldn’t concede. It had to make sense the way I wanted, I wanted to control everything so bad. It wasn’t to be, so I gave up on everything else.
Well, that and I was also really clumsy at organizing myself. How could I not be? My grandma was bringing breakfast to my room until not so long ago, after the detox.
The worst mistake of my life was not taking the initiative to learn to be self-reliant, head-on, without laziness, without excuses. Do not be like past me. Think by yourselves, experience all by yourselves, take action in your own terms.
We’re nothing but slaves of those we depend on, no matter how kind or well-intentioned our masters are. For a grown-up, this should be unacceptable.
It really got crazy back then. I would wake up late, skip classes, steal a bit of breakfast from my flatmates, play video games, feel terrible (and nauseous), skip shower and meals (I wasn’t doing groceries and didn’t have the strength to raise my arms); then spend the night at the PC again.
I was ashamed to be seen (and smelled) in that state so I went out of my room less and less. I became a shut-in and the only thing I did was gaming.
Until there was a time I spent a night in Psychiatric Ward after having my first serious suicide thoughts, become scared shitless and go to the hospital on my own accord.
I should have nightmares about that night, there was literal screaming, metallic rattling and all you can imagine from that kind of place, exaggerated as it may sound. I was so “out” in that moment that I didn’t care, I could only think about “Some wacko please come kill me and spare me the job”.
After months of that lifestyle, I couldn’t hold on anymore and returned to my hometown, to my previous NEET state. I gave up on everything that minimally mattered to me. I was completely crushed, devastated. The suicide thoughts came back. I had one last option to try before truly considering committing to the end. Everything converged into one single question.
“What should I try first, quit gaming or killing myself?”
Quitting games or quitting my life. I can’t be happier to be writing this.
I googled my struggles, as Cam also did and brilliantly joked about in his TED talk. This time, instead of a disappointment a certain video came up.
I remember my first impression was: “Man, this Cam guy is not your average Tony Robbins (super alpha attitude and over the top delivery, you know?). I can relate to this, this guy knows 100% what I’m going through”. I followed the links, reached the forum and bam, I was in. [Disclaimer: Tony Robbins is awesome, I just felt his mindset was beyond this Universe back then. Now, only a few galaxies away.]
The first months were madness. 16 hours a day of existentialism, death anxiety , depression, panic attacks, withdrawal symptoms and nothing to do. Nightmares, hand shaking and body spasms, cold sweating, mild fever, nausea… And let’s not begin with what was going on in my mind.
It felt like quitting cocaine cold turkey. It took me 9 months going back and forth until I made a real commitment and got rid of Steam on July 28th, 2016.
Credit: Rokia Kalouache
Since I quit, I could travel to 5 countries in 3 continents, meet new friends and find my first love (with a rainbow twist!).
In terms of my future, I’m in the process of joining the Spanish Armed Forces, and then I’m looking forward to my university studies. I’ve always loved politics: coming out from the closet of my feelings was way easier than the closet of my aspirations.
I kinda hate quotes and mentions, they make you look like a smartass. But then there’s Victor Frankl and his thesis about “finding a meaning for your own suffering”. All the symptoms, all the issues went away as fast as they arrived. A few of them, the milder ones, still come and go much less frequently and weaker; they may be occasional visitors for the rest of my life. But I’m not afraid anymore. Everything passes, given enough time.
Our only job as conscious beings, our only absolute free choice, is to never give up. Ever.
Quitting games is not easy. Living in general isn’t. You must find a meaning, not only for the things you enjoy or desire, but for your struggles, your fears, your doubts.
It’s ok to feel life is going to come down on you, it’s ok to feel you’re about to hit the ground so hard while you take on the whole world if needed be. That’s what I didn’t understand. That’s how I noticed games were not the problem when I finally quit them.
It’s not about being consistently overjoyed. That is humanly unsustainable, at least the way I conceived it. It’s about always being mindful and one thousand per cent focused on your purpose. The residue of this purpose, if genuine, is happiness.
This story was submitted by a member of the Game Quitters community. Want to inspire others? Share your story here.
“The thought of never playing games again scared me as much as the thought of never smoking again.”
Gaming was something I did everyday for years on end. I enjoyed it, but in the end it wasn’t a good thing for me. I’m 16 years old, and I’m from the Netherlands.
I first started playing games when I was about 5-6 years old. My parents gifted me a Nintendo DS Lite, a portable game console that just came out back then. I played various games on that thing but it wasn’t really anything special. I never got addicted to any of those games. Later I became very interested in strategy games. These kind of games got me addicted to gaming in general.
I did not have it easy in my relatively short life. I was lonely for many years and I had an abusive dad. I have been depressed for many years of my life and also suffer from anxiety.
When I left my dad and went to live with my mom full time I started to play games to cope with my depression and anxiety. They were the perfect escape from reality.
I first started noticing the negative impact pretty soon after I started to game a lot. I lost many friends, and I would want to play games when we were on family holidays, but I never put that much thought into it. After all, it’s better than doing drugs, right?
In 2015/2016 I played a game called ArmA 3. ArmA is a game where you have so called “Altis Life” servers. These servers have huge communities where you can play with many people and make many “friends”. At that point I completely abandoned the few friends I had in real life and only played games and talked to people online. I was getting more depressed and I started smoking as well. The only things I would do is play games and smoke cigarettes. Those things were the only things I loved doing.
I noticed that I was so alone all the time and that I played much more games than average. I started to realise I might have a problem. I looked up “gaming addiction” on YouTube, and found Cam’s TED Talk where he talks about his own experience.
I immediately realised that I had a problem, but it took me more than half a year to quit games altogether. I tried to moderate, but every time I started playing strategy games again my hours per week would skyrocket. The thought of never playing games again scared me as much as the thought of never smoking again.
I Decided To Quit
I was done with this addiction, and I did not have any urges to play games for weeks. I told my mom who supported me in my decision. I also told the only real remaining friend I had about the issues I’ve had over the last few years. He was supportive, but did not understand why I would want to quit games. They were one of the few things I loved after all.
One of the few things I immediately noticed is how lonely I was. I downloaded Snapchat right around the time I quit, and saw people doing fun things, and I was not a part of any of it. I decided I needed to do something about this, and I immediately became more open and social. My best friend and I became closer, and I also started to become more liked.
I went to another European city for my summer vacation with my mom. It was the first time I enjoyed a vacation like that in years. I did not think about games at all. I just enjoyed the beautiful architecture, good food and all the happy people that I secretly envied for having such great lives.
I decided to quit smoking too. I never saw it as a problem, but I felt confident I could do it. It didn’t last unfortunately, but I have decreased the amount I smoke per day, and I do plan on doing another attempt soon. I don’t think I would have done this if I was still gaming. Funnily enough I would say both addictions are very similar.
Don’t get discouraged when you read people saying your gaming addiction isn’t real because it is not physically addictive.
Although that may be true, it still is very addictive and the withdrawal symptoms can be just as bad as the ones from smoking.
Positive Changes
I started to become more social, I met up with friends for the first time in years, I no longer think about games 24/7, I actually exercised for the first time in years, I addressed both the anxiety and depression by going to a therapist, and I enjoy things that are not games.
I’m probably forgetting a few things here and there to be honest but I can assure you that I hated myself 3 months ago and now I’m way more confident about myself.
Quitting gaming is a journey, and it is long from over. My life has improved overall, but I still have plenty of things to work on. My anxiety is still something I struggle with, but it is going so much better than before. My depression is practically gone at this point, although I still have some sad days. However, instead of hiding behind a PC playing games all day I try to do something about it now.
My dream is to have both quit gaming and smoking in a year, and have friends to hang out with. Maybe even a girlfriend, who knows? Either way, I’m certain I’ll be much happier than I was when I played games.
I would like to add 2 screenshots of games. Not sure if they can fit on the website but I can choose a few other more cinematic ones as well if you’d prefer that.
A screenshot of me and an online friend playing Stellaris. Me being the Authoritarian (think cyberpunk) Galactic Republic and him playing the Utopian Foxling Federation. Damn, do I miss this game sometimes, but I was so addicted to it.
A screenshot of me playing Cities Skylines trying to make some sort of Dubai. I hope I get to go to one of the Gulf states in the future and maybe even living there.
This story was submitted by a member of the community. Want to inspire others with your story? Submit it here.
“The existential crisis I had postponed since I was 17 finally caught on. I was 24 now, what the heck was I doing with my life?”
When I was 4 or 5 years old, a friend of mine got a Nintento Entertainment System. That was in 1991 or so. We played Mario 1, 2, and 3. Me, as forever-player-2, was Luigi.
It was amazing! The sheer fun of this simple adventure on the TV, amazing. I sucked, because I couldn’t play all day like my buddy. But it was even amazing to just watch him play.
I was hooked.
Years later, I remember playing Heroes of Might and Magic II with my brothers. We could play for hours and hours. We poorly understood English and the game, but through trial and error, we found out how the game worked, and we learned a new language while doing it. (Thank you gaming.)
Our parents would urge us to go outside. Get some sun, make some friends, move your body! “Naaaah” Because what could compete with this fantasy world? With this compelling narrative? And these amazing graphics?
My gaming habits sticked, of course. It had become second nature. I didn’t have any trouble at school really. But once I was in university, it became a problem – I started using it as a drug.
When in the real world my life wasn’t going that well – I would flee to gaming. Need to study hard? Rejected, or dumped? Months of gaming is the cure! Just numb myself a bit with a long session of RPGs and strategy games.
Not only was gaming an escape for me, but anime and porn as well. Some other easy dopamine injections. My old roommates still can’t believe I finished 600+ episodes of One Piece in a few weeks. It all seems harmless at first, but your ‘life energy’ is slowly sucked out. I became more a hull of a person than a full rounded character. But it didn’t matter,… because I mainly interacted online.
My computer was just this instant satisfaction dispenser. Although it was more numbing than real enjoyment.
The apex of my compulsive gaming was Skyrim! It was incredible! I don’t know how many hours I spent in that fantasy world. It didn’t matter what my buddies where doing, if I had exams or not, or whether it was 30 degrees outside. *(Celcius mind you ;), so around 86 Fahrenheit).
No matter what, I was going to be an orc mage warrior, and I was going to kill dragons!
This went on for months. Until I realized I wasn’t that happy. I hadn’t been for a long while.
The existential crisis I had postponed since I was 17 finally caught on. Like a tidal wave of realism and pain gulfing over the fragile ego I had left. I was 24 now, what the heck was I doing with my life? Where was I going? Was I just going to sit inside for the rest of my life – gaming, jacking off, sleeping and repeating? What about my graduation that was long due? What about all the experiences life had to offer? What about girls?
Suffice to say, I became quite depressed.
In the past if I felt a bit depressed I would hop on my digital steed and drive off to kill some undead. But that wouldn’t work anymore.
It had to stop. I don’t remember how I exactly did it. But slowly yet surely, during the next months, I drastically reduced the amount of gaming and binge watching. I started reading constructive blogs and books. Classics like “How to Make Friends and Influence People’ and blogs like NerdFitness. (I don’t think Game Quitters was around in 2011 :).) My entire mindset had to change.
So I immersed myself in positive reading, even if I didn’t feel like it. I went out and started socializing, even if I felt like hiding under the covers. And I worked out, even if I felt like lethargically lying on the couch. It was a slow and painful grind. With lots of small relapses, setbacks, but also small victories.
Especially my self esteem and social skills had suffered these past years. Step by step relearning how to normally interact with people was awkward and painful to say the least. But with practice it did come back. It’s even intuitive by now!
In the end I grew stronger! I got fit, met girls, made new friends and worked hard on my studies. My personality, that had withered in my screen lit room, was slowly reviving. I even started achieving some amazing things. Running half a marathon, rowing a 100k race, solo traveling in Asia for 6 months, hooking up with the hottest Venezuelan girl ever, and much more.
But more importantly – I became way more confident and self reliant. Now I have a set of values and goals I work hard for. I don’t hate myself anymore – I really like me actually :)! And that is a really nice way to live.
Is life easy now? F*ck no! Do I still feel the need to flee reality? Yes, and I do create a healthy mental distance sometimes. But I do tackle my problems now. No more evading of hard truths or emotions, but facing them head on.
And that is what is important. It is your life. You have just a few decades in total. Fight and work hard for what you find important. Always get yourself to the next level! There is so much more out there. But you do need to let go of some artificial worlds!
Timon ??
This story was submitted by a member of our community. Want to inspire others with yours? Submit your story here.
“I stopped looking at the detox as a path to give up gaming, but more of a personal development path. Giving up gaming was just a part of that.”
I’m Jared…
I did it! Pumped. I had a bit of a skip in my step today knowing today was the day.
Did I think I would make it this far? Not until I think I was in the mid 30s range. I relapsed initially on day 22, and had a similar struggle in the 20s again the second time around, but once I hit the 30s it was almost too easy from there.
There was a number of reasons that played into why I managed to stick it out:
1) My relapse.
When I embarked on the first attempt I did it with just one aim – to break the cycle of needing to game at the sacrifice of my study and my son. I didn’t really have any tools or ways that I was going to keep me on track.
I found out quite quickly that I could easily replace a time wasting activity with another time wasting activity. Before I knew it, I found myself with too much time and a whole lot of nothing to do (well, in hindsight I had study or chores to do, but my brain didn’t see it that way), and I relapsed.
I don’t think I initially felt the ramifications of my relapse or reflected too much on it until I was working through my habit tracker and came up to my journal entry task. Looking at my journal I just felt so hollow, like I had taken a big step backwards.
From there I learned that the underlying reason that I really wanted to quit was because I wanted to live life to the fullest. Since that realization, I have been knocking down productivity goal after productivity goal. The more things I can achieve the more I feel like I am living life, so I win. I think this was the best learning tool out of everything in the 90 days.
2) Meeting Cam in Vegas.
It turned out to be the highlight of the trip, taking over the main reason I was there (bachelor party all the way from Sydney). The statistics in his talk were mind blowing, the other people at the function/meeting/shindig were really great and very curious about the whole thing. When they knew I was in the mid 40s of my detox at the time, they asked questions and told me to keep going.
Having a very open and honest conversation with Cam after the presentation was good too. I found it easy to talk to him and a lot of the tools and things we talked about is what I had been researching in other areas, or similar to what my old psychologist was telling me on how to control my anxiety and how to basically be in the moment. That’s when I knew he was 110% legit, and ultimately what I was trying to achieve was completely legit and worthwhile.
I think at this point I really stopped looking at the detox as a path to give up gaming, but more of a personal development path, and giving up gaming was just a part of that. Side note – since the meeting in Vegas, I have not watching television at all. Not even streaming a show. Cam, and the support of this community, is changing lives; including mine.
3) I am (still) capable of studying and producing tertiary-level writing.
I felt like the joy I used to have from studying back when I was in school or when I had left school was returning. I felt motivated to study again instead of feeling like it was a chore. The last time I felt like that was before I made my first WoW character.
I think this became the psuedo-feedback loop that substituted what gaming gave me, and my urges as a result became rarer and rarer. I began to study every day of 3+ hours, and even if I don’t pass the subject in the end (still waiting!!!) I am glad I did it and I definitely learnt a lot, especially about minimising distractions and flow states, which I have also used at work.
4) My son growing exponentially.
He has got more and more fun over the last 90 days, the last month in particular, and now he is not so much of a chore to be around. No more just a crying needing pooping blob, now he is full of life, laughter, adventurous and building his own personality.
Maybe part of this is I have noticed it more and more rather than seeing him as a distraction from multiplayer games, or maybe it’s a bit of column a, and a bit of column b.
Subsequently, a lot of the time I couldn’t be bothered sitting at my desk at all, let alone gaming, as I would rather be chasing him around the house or doing something for him, such as making him a little box car to be pushed around in, or gluing toys that he loves back together.
5) My massive anxiety attack
It made me realize that the reason I got so hooked on games in the last 3 years again after a massive stint away from playing them was to try and avoid or escape the anxiety symptoms I was experiencing when life had become too much. But it was just masking the issue, instead of dealing with it directly.
There was no point me spending all this money on a psychologist when I was not ready or not implementing the tools that he was giving me. I think the best thing that came out of my meetings with him was finally knowing what was wrong with me, rather than just thinking I was broken and irreparable. I got a lot of self awareness out of this as well, which has only grown since then, and is one of my best tools I have now to try and control my emotions, particularly at work.
For me, this was my fascination with electronics that I never fulfilled even back when I was still in school. In hindsight I should have tried to get into electronics for a career, I think I would of loved it immensely, but I would not have been able to do the cool and crazy things I have in the last decade.
I probably wouldn’t be on this personal development path either. I did have a bit of a crisis with what I was trying to achieve out of my fiddling around with electronics, my intention for the activity, but I have it in the correct frame now. As a result I have barely touched my electronics for a few weeks, but that’s ok, I have had other things that needed dealing with that I shouldn’t be trying to escape from.
It was a great way to get my mind untangled and set for the day, as I wrote it as soon as I woke up every day. To me it didn’t matter what I was talking about, or if anybody bothered to read it, it was for myself. I realized this in the low 20s or high 10s days, when I was thinking about giving it up as I was struggling to see the point. Again, it’s the intent piece.
I really think a journal is great for anyone’s personal development, it gets a lot of things off your brain that you might have otherwise been stressing about all day and impeding your productivity, because you couldn’t focus. I also loved reading other peoples journals and learning how they were managing with their situations, especially Tom2, Mettermrck, Mhyrion and ole Moe Smith.
It helped that I had already started training for a marathon, but I used running as a way to “reset” if I was having strong urges, or I felt like I had a lot of free time with nothing to do (hello crazy brain again).
After Vegas, I have been using it as a tool to get into my flow state, and I have been religiously running at lunch time ever since. The reason I chose lunch time is because I always struggle to pay attention in the afternoons, tending to just stare out the window, or surfing Twitter on my phone.
By running at lunch time I was able to smash out another solid 3 hours of valuable work. I ran so religiously that when I was wiped out for weeks at a time due to sickness I think I was borderline depressed! Here’s to staying healthy and keeping my momentum into the marathon.
9) Accountability Partner.
Though he has been my accountability partner for only a portion of the path (so far!), it has been great to talk to someone else in an almost mirrored situation, even if the majority of it was not about gaming. It kept my mind busy and made me flashback to the great memories of having a penpal for about 9 years, even if this one is a Utah Jazz fan. One day we will have a beer in person mate.
So what have I learnt so far? So much yet so little. I still do not know what I do not know, but I do know that this is but the first step. I have so much unfinished business and so much personal development to go, that this day will just be a blip in the rear view mirror.
“This wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, and I’d known it for a while.”
One year ago on July 4th 2016, I figured Independence Day would be a good day to declare my independence from video games. After years of struggling to control my impulsive gaming, I quit cold turkey, and haven’t touched a video game since.
I’d fallen into a very difficult time. I’d been working a job that I hated for two years, so I gamed a lot to escape the misery. Heroes of the Storm (HoTS) was my poison of choice. Then, I got hit with a crippling back injury (herniated disc) from snowboarding, and I got a notice of layoff from said job around the same time.
The one-two combo was too much for me and I fell into a pit of depression for many months, when I fell even further into gaming. Each day was nothing but staying home playing video games, watching let’s plays and gaming streams, reading game news, and overall shutting myself in and staring at a screen all day. I knew this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, and I’d known it for a while.
I had an NES, SNES, and an N64. As a kid, I completed Ocarina of Time 100% with zero deaths, and got all 120 stars in Mario 64. I challenged myself with hard games like F-Zero GX and Viewtiful Joe; Metroid Prime 2 on hard mode being one of my favorites.
In later years I moved onto PC gaming and played random MMOs, Soldat, StarCraft, Battlefield 2, TF2, and countless other games. In college I dropped $1,000 and built myself a PC gaming rig. I amassed over 500 games on my Steam account. In more recent years, Dark Souls was a godsend of a challenging game to sink my teeth into.
It’s no understatement to say I was a pretty hardcore gamer. And you know what? I was proud of my gaming achievements. All the games I’ve completed, my game collection, my skill, my taste. I was proud. For a time, at least.
I slowly developed a love-hate relationship with video games throughout my teen years, and saw that there was more to life than just video games.
On one hand, it’s a medium for compelling storytelling that transports you into beautiful interactive worlds. On the other, it ends up taking priority over everything else, and becomes a crutch that allows your depression and lack of fulfillment in life to fester.
There’s so much to experience in the world around you; why squander your time staring at a screen?
As a result of my constant gaming, I saw that my quality of life was diminishing. Summer breaks were the worst because I basically did nothing but game. I wanted to do more in life. I wanted more friends and better relationships, maybe play some sports or be in some clubs, and have more in life than just digital validation. I just never had any other summer activities.
Vicious Cycle
I was unfulfilled because I gamed, and I gamed because I was unfulfilled. I tried to play less, but I kept impulsively coming back to games. Having grown up with games, games were all I knew.
Past college and into adulthood, I spent several hours a day playing video games, reading game news, watching let’s plays on YouTube, watching gaming streams, and even constantly thinking about games while away from the screen.
I’d forego other needs like socializing and eating, just to get more game time in. I’d continue to game even when I wasn’t having fun, impulsively jumping from one round of HoTS (and many other games) to the next, constantly chasing that high of winning.
I eventually found myself in that pit of despair, with my injury and layoff, still using video games as an unwanted crutch, stuck at home gaming every day.
I finally decided that enough was enough, so I pulled the trigger and quit cold turkey. I uninstalled my Nintendo account and poison-of-choice HoTS, uninstalled Steam, put away my consoles and games, and set out to escape this addiction.
It’s Been One Year
Towards the beginning of the journey, I discovered that there was a community of people like myself on the path to quitting video games, so I signed up for Respawn.
Nowadays, I don’t game at all. I don’t play video games, I don’t watch let’s plays, I don’t follow game news, I don’t engage in gaming conversations, and I’ve distanced myself from people who game a lot.
Instead, I spend my time practicing music, reading, exercising, meditating, going out with friends and family, being engaged in communities, working on a passion project, and all-in-all enjoying life a lot more.
I eat and sleep properly. Many of the things I’ve been meaning to do for so long I finally accomplished in the past year, such as reading more books and learning new musical instruments.
I’m still recovering from my injury, but I know that if I hadn’t quit video games, I would have fallen even deeper into my game addicted lifestyle. Despite the injury, I’m now much more healthy, mentally fit, fulfilled, and thriving.
It’s Not Always Easy (And That’s Okay)
Now I will admit, there were a handful of instances in the past year where I did play a little bit. A bit of an arcade game at a festival, a bit of Pokemon Go during that entire craze, Pacman inside of Google Maps on April Fools earlier this year. But these were more like minor stumbles in the journey.
I’d say a relapse is if I spend hours or days shutting out the outside world, intrenched in the sensory overload and dopamine-rush-machine that is video games, falling back into the old mindset and lifestyle. I haven’t had one of those days in over a year, and I intend to keep it that way.
Nonetheless, the main thing is that these days, video games are no longer part of my life. Instead, I’ve invited so much more into my life.
Of course, this is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. I still get cravings every now and then, especially when I hear through the grapevine about a new Nintendo game, or when I see something nostalgic about games I grew up with. But I know better than to fall back into that old lifestyle. There’s so much more that I want to do rather than stare at a screen and press buttons.
Thank you again Cam for all the wisdom and creating this community. Gaming addiction is a problem unique to modern times, and with us being one of the first generations to grow up with video games since childhood, we definitely need more awareness around video game addiction.
Good luck to fellow Game Quitters! Here’s to reclaiming your life and many more years game free.
“Then I made my first kill, and snap, there it was, the kind of game I had needed all along.”
Today marks day ninety since I last played a video game, and it’s an enormous thanks to you I was able to do it and turn my life around.
I don’t know whether or not you get these a lot, but still I wanted to share my journey with you as a way of thanks, and because I feel I need to do this for myself too. Why? Because it’s hard, it’s out of my comfort zone and I feel totally open and vulnerable.
Excellent. I’m still not okay, but I’m getting better. Every hard day is a step to the right direction, as are the good days. I’m out of the woods, but now at the foot of a mountain. Good thing is: the day is clearing and I’m beginning to see the top.
My gaming got out of hand
I don’t wanna bore you with the whole story. Don’t wanna bore myself either. Let’s just say that I had gamed a lot before this point–MMOs and RPGs being my games of choice–but it was still pretty casual and mostly a way to avoid boredom. Then League of Legends came into the picture.
MOBA? Had never heard of it. I figured it was some sort of MMO. Nope. My first impression of League of Legends was sort of ‘meh’ as I really had no idea what I was supposed to do and got butchered by the opponent again and again.
Then I made my first kill, and snap, there it was, the kind of game I had needed all along. It was easy enough to get into, but hard to master with limitless potential to grow. It was mentally engaging, strategically and technically complex and, oh, so rewarding.
Little else mattered anymore; I was hooked.
The next three years went with all my energy put into getting better and climbing that ranked ladder. Even music, which had been the biggest part of my life for ten years, faded into the background. Never in my life had I put such an effort into anything–this is the most valuable thing I consider learning from that time: I was incredibly hard working and motivated.
Anyone who has played League, or any similar game, knows how nauseatingly toxic it can be. In the end I think that was what did it for me. That, and the stress of staying on the ranked ladder was finally enough for me.
But to quit–how could I when nothing else mattered to me anymore? Gaming was my identity. I just needed another game. I found Path of Exile, a non-competitive online action-RPG, and it was perfect. From it I got the dopamine my brain craved, it was immediately engaging with tons of things to learn and an awesome community.
I invested yet another year or so into it, but annoying, nagging thoughts lurked in the back of my head, ‘Is this it?’ Sure. ‘I’m gonna just game for the rest of my life?’ Yes, why not, as nothing else interests me anyway? ‘Is this the life I’m satisfied having ten, twenty, forty years from now?’ Well–
‘Am I happy?’ …
Of course I wasn’t. I was five years into depression, my diet was awful, I didn’t exercise and rarely went out, all the while wondering why don’t I have energy like everyone else? Where’s my motivation? I wonder.
90 Day Detox
After searching the internet for help and finding Game Quitters’ channel on YouTube, I made the decision to do the ninety days without games–even if I’d just go back into gaming afterwards, I needed to see if there was something else to life after all.
In that time I struggled and fought the gamer in me, who occasionally would sneak up and remind me of the good times I had with games, especially on the tough days, conveniently forgetting to mention the bad. I spent time in music again, my newly found passion for writing fantasy and science fiction, reading a ton and developing myself through YouTube and various other channels.
I took up and tried new things, such as exercising, meditation and cold showers, every new and positive habit leading up to a thought ‘Okay, what can I do next to feel even better?’. I took small steps at a time, and slowly began to see why I was walking. I could now look back and see the darkness I had left behind, see the rise in what I call my ‘default happiness’.
Life, as I realized, is not about constant bliss. There are ups and downs like a wave, but the average value the wave surrounds can be raised. The downs are there to give contrast for the ups. No light without dark, nothing is high if something isn’t low.
I like the analogy regarding life I heard from Dr. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian professor with a lot of great content on YouTube,
You might compare the difference between elevator music and a Beethoven symphony. It’s not that the symphony is in any sense happier than the Muzak–in fact, quite the contrary–but it’s deeper and more profound and richer and incorporates more and justifies itself more, and that’s the right metaphor for life; not happiness, but depth and differentiated quality and profundity, to match the profundity of the necessity of suffering.
So, I have no regrets for the time I initially thought ‘wasted’, because it was a road that gave me contrast to appreciate where I am now and the places I’m heading toward.
I’m eternally grateful for you and all the work you do with Game Quitters, and I wanted to express just how utterly, truly essential it was to have you pull me from that pit and encourage me as I learned to take my own steps. To me, Cam, you are nothing short of a Hero.
If our paths ever cross, I’m gonna give you a hug. All the best.
– Otto
If you are ready to quit playing video games, start your 90 day detox by clicking here.
“I decided to quit playing video games when I realized what I want in life wasn’t going to happen if I continued wasting my time.”
It has been 444 days since I last played a video game. For those who like numbers, that’s 10,656 hours. When I was playing video games I was spending 8 hours a day on average. That’s over 3,100 Hours! Wow!
Since I’ve quit, I’ve invested those 3,100 hours wisely to invest in myself, my relationships, health, passions, and I have never been happier!
I decided to quit playing video games when I realized what I want in life wasn’t going to happen if I continued wasting my time. After years of missing out on opportunities, enough was enough. Lots of really bad things happened during my early-to-mid 20s, and each painful time I would rely on video gaming to “relieve” myself. Deep down I knew I was just distracting myself.
I was aware that I was denying myself of my dreams.
Because I turned to gaming every time negative emotions came up, I didn’t have the skills to tackle the emotions. The stress compounded so much over time that it felt overwhelming, thus the cycle was set.
I was depressed, powerless, and inexpressive. I wanted to feel alive when at the time I could see no way out. The worst was realizing I would never get any of that time back. It’s like your bank telling you had $100,000 in your account (Okay, more like $100 but hey one day!) then finding out it’s only worth $10 because you wasted your time to act.
Change started after I read the book called “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg. I learned about keystone habits, and how much it would ripple into other habits. The book sparked ideas, so I decided to set an official date for when I would quit. Chances are if you’re reading this then you are ready for the message Charles has to give you.
Playing one of my last matches of CSGO…
I had switched to my deagle, and decided to reload. At this moment myself and an enemy terrorist bumped into each other. They were also reloading.
My heart was racing, I felt the rush of adrenaline and the magazines were loaded. At the last possible second we both fired and I landed my final headshot. Immediately I felt the rush of dopamine flood my system, with virtual messages saying “you are the winner”. It felt good, it felt rewarding, I felt accomplishment, yet I knew I was deceiving myself.
Seconds later my alarm went off to signify the one of the most important decisions of my life. I fought the temptation to keep playing, especially after that game winning play, yet I decided it was time and pulled the plug. (And admittedly I couldn’t of asked for a better way to go out!). I am thankful for the memories video games had provided me, however moving on from something that was destructive for me has paid me more than any video game could provide.
From this moment on I would have to face challenges head on. It meant no more distractions, no more excuses, and no more running from my problems.
I took responsibility to face my challenges directly head on no matter what it took. Just like forging a sword, it must get thrown into the fire and smacked around a bunch before it can come out strong.
After the first week of intense cravings, it gradually got easier and easier to fill my time with activities that I would genuinely enjoy.
I found healthier ways to gain the sense of accomplishment that video games were providing for me. My willpower has increased significantly as quitting video games also help me quit other bad habits and develop my discipline.
I’ve also started to favor long term rewards and delayed gratification instead of instant quick fixes to things. I’ve read more books, with a total of 12 this year which has been more than I’ve read in my entire life up until this point.
The biggest payoff is I finally reconnected with my passion of writing music. A dream I thought wasn’t possible to pursue. With my new found skills, I was able to build a studio and start up my own independent electronica record label called “Gauntlet Records”. Quitting video games was a huge step in making this happen.
Never underestimate the value of your time and what you do with it. Every moment counts!
“My desire to be smart, successful financially, and have a meaningful marriage was more important than playing a video game.”
750 days ago, I made a choice.
My gaming was out of control. I don’t really need to explain it, because most of you know what it’s like to grind daily, and have an obsession with whatever the game you are playing. Let me tell you about how I stopped gaming and started living!
The Beginning
It didn’t come easy at first. I started at the age of 4 playing on the NES with my Dad in 1985. My mind was always wired to think about gaming.
I cut everything out that related to gaming (yes, even the streams!). I picked up cooking as a hobby to keep myself from gaming in the evenings… the rewards are delicious!
In April 2015, I got married. In October 2015, I got laid off.
I worked in the energy industry for a decade, and was very good at what I did (operations, legal, land, and consulting work). Industry layoffs were rampant, and I wanted to get into something with stability.
I chose to immerse myself in all things programming. It’s really tough to change careers, and getting that first foot in the door is always the hardest part. I was really good at getting to the final interview, but couldn’t get past the “you don’t have X amount of years of experience.”
Every single day, I kept mashing my keyboard. Python, R, SQL, Typescript/Javascript, HTML, CSS… onto Machine Learning, DevOps, into Django, into Angular, React, Redux. I didn’t stop.
People kept telling me that I should just take 3-4 minimum wage jobs, and quit trying so hard to do something I have no experience in. Let’s just say that I made a choice to ignore those voices, and kept building up skills.
The Present
I eventually got fed up with the job search. The last night of my “corporate search” ended while watching Office Space with my wife. I decided that I was going to be my own boss.
It’s taken time to build up a client base, but I’m now building full stack web apps where I can leverage my past work experiences, and blend them with new skills. April has been the largest grossing month of my career. I do eventually want to delve into data science, biostats and medical research… but that’ll wait for just a little bit! (see below)
The Future
My wife is now 5 months pregnant, and I’m grateful that I can focus on being a grandson, son, dad, husband, friend, and developer.
These 2+ years have been the most difficult, yet rewarding experience that I’ve ever had. I could have used many excuses to go back into 24/7 gaming mode. I lost my job, and my savings ran dry after six months of a job search.
Financial troubles can be an absolute disaster to any marriage, new or established. My wife and I put in the work to communicate better, and being in the present is what made that happen. If I would have gamed, my marriage would have been over. If I would have gamed, I also wouldn’t have the programming skills that I had today.
Everyday you will be given a new choice. Life is too funny, complicated, and beautiful to do anything that you deem to be a waste. The choice is yours. What do you want?
If you found yourself 60 pounds overweight, your grades dropping, and you had no confidence… what would you do? The idea of body transformation probably sounds like a pipe dream.
Or, would you make a decision that could change the course of your life forever?
That’s the exact situation Nicholas Bayerle found himself in.
After his dream of being a professional Motocross rider came to an end, he found himself 60 pounds overweight, grades dropping, and no sense of confidence.
In fact, as you will learn in his story, it got to the point where he was so embarrassed of himself that he was wearing multiple sweatshirts to try and cover up his weight.
From Skinny to Buff – How Fitness Changed my Life
Today Nicholas has a 6-pack for the first time, he’s been married to a (his words) “super hot chick” for the past five years, and his business takes home multiple 6-figures. What changed? He quit gaming.
Nicholas and I go in-depth not only into his story, but also how he’s managed to get to where he is today.
One of the biggest changes he made was learning to master his health, which he believes (and I agree), acts as a foundation for the rest of his life.
By mastering his health – an area that we ALL have control over – it has allowed him to apply the same discipline into other areas of his life, like relationships and business.
What to Do After Quitting Gaming
With Game Quitters there’s a lot of talk about what to do after you quit gaming.
For each of you, that will be something different. Maybe you want to focus on improving your social skills. Maybe you want a boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you want to travel and start your own business.
But no matter what area you are interested in, your health is going to have an impact. Because it’s not so much about your health, as much as it is about your energy and confidence.
To be forthright, as Game Quitters continues to grow I will continue to focus on being the BEST in the world at helping you quit gaming.
But helping you quit gaming and then leaving you to fend for yourself seems like a disservice. I’m committed to doing more to help you succeed far beyond just quitting gaming.
So I’m committed to sharing with you other experts who are the masters at their craft in other fields, whether it’s in health, productivity, relationships, dating, business, or any other area I get emails about, to support you in achieving your highest potential.
Nicholas is one of those, and the fact that he’s overcome his own video game addiction is a cherry on top.
I hope you enjoy the interview with him today, and if you’re interested in a Game Quitters program to master your health, then take action now. Don’t regret your decision not to act, and never understand what life can really be like if you take back control.
When I was a kid, I had very bad relationships with my family. They were always shouting at each other, being very insecure and unstable (even now). I was a good kid. Very calm and patient, but my character pissed them off.
“Why isn’t he involved in our useless drama?”, “Why is he so calm?”
So they did their best to involve me in their foolish drama. As a kid, I didn’t understand what is right, and what is wrong, so I did the same as they did, arguing about pointless things, crying, and fighting.
School was good at the beginning, but I became friends with some bad guys. Being a good guy, I paid for that soon, and was bullied. Luckily, I transferred, but this is when I began to escape from society in video games.
I Couldn’t Find a Job
I had no girlfriend. I was just gaming. My gaming friends always supported me, and were my best friends. All I wanted was money.
My favorite game is League of Legends. I’m good at it, but the owner of this game (RIOT company) sold Riot Games to the Chinese company Tencent. They created a League of Legends tournament called LCS. Before they sold the company to Tencent, American, European, and Russian teams were always winning it.
But things changed. Now, only Chinese, and Korean teams are winning it. Strange, right? After that, they changed the game to look good in LCS, but they didn’t care about the League of Legends community. That was the limit of my patience.
League of Legends was not the only game that ended like that. Almost the same thing happened to World of Warcraft when they received a lot of money from gamers all over the world, and started to create bad gaming content. They stopped caring about their community.
I Decided to Quit
It wasn’t easy to do, and I had a lot of problems. I’m still living with my parents who are still doing their best to drag me down, and argue over foolish things.
I realized that I’m just wasting my time. As a good League of Legends gamer, my confidence is pretty high. That allows me to understand that I’d better stop playing games, and do something more interesting. Go to the street, even alone. Don’t sit at home. Do some routine every day.
For me, it’s cleaning my flat. So I wake up, clean everything I can, make myself look good, wear some nice shoes, and clothes, and go outside.
When you go outside, look at other people and compare them to yourself. “Look at this guy playing PSP! He wastes so much time!” “Look at his shoes, look at his hair. He doesn’t want to live in the real world so he chose to waste his time!” “Look at this girl! She talks so much trash about some other girl to her friend.” “Look at this old guy with a sad face! He is refusing to change, so he is suffering!”
They all refuse to change. Sad, but true. Human nature is such a thing that we want to get everything while doing nothing. When we get nothing doing nothing, we suffer and blame everyone around us.
The final thing is: Don’t disrespect them. Don’t feel pity for them, just try to show everyone that life is not for wasting your time and opportunities!
“I was ready, and prepared to hit anything to release the anger of losing.”
I was quite young when I first held the controller of a PS1 in my hand, before then, it was the handheld gameboy. I played games for the action, the quick pace, and competing against others in the game lobby.
There was a distinctive feeling of pride, and some sort of power, perhaps social, or mental through winning. Losing however was a different matter, it could send me raging, and vandalizing my walls.
In particular I shred some skin off of my knuckles, I was ready, and prepared to hit anything to release the anger of losing. Being part of the losing team in a video game hurt my pride, and made me feel like I’ve amounted to nothing.
I refused to make friends. I was a shy person and I wanted some friends – but not friends of which you had to meet face to face.
I Was Embarrassed with Myself
From the way I used to look, to how I used to act. Gaming allowed me to connect me to others, but it only served to keep me in this vicious cycle that never ends. I preferred gaming as a social platform, and therefore my real social skills suffered from not enough exposure.
I also felt my decisions were never truly independent, and that I was being second-guessed, and taken as a joke socially. This made me turn to gaming, in particular to a game called ‘Mass Effect’.
It resonated well for my social needs even though I knew it was all scripted and programmed and none of it is real, it still satisfied that need in me. Because that need is being filled, what’s the point of going outside?
I started to clutch onto strawman and some sort of ad ignorant arguments when people claimed I had a problem, “Quit gaming? If I do that, I’ll just go and end up doing drugs!”
Apart from my social life, what suffered? My health. My teeth are very badly damaged from extremely poor care, and lack of care. I’ve traded lots of social opportunities, and my teenage years for something that’s programmed… not even real.
I Decided to Quit
I just turned 19 years old, and there was a burning passion in me to rid myself of gaming when I decided to take an unbiased approach, and see how gaming had affected me. I saw how many experiences I’ve traded for absolutely nothing in return.
When I decided to quit I thought it would be easy. I uninstalled my games, and logged out of Steam, and smiled. But only the next day I was back at it gaming, and justifying myself. I always said it would be my last game, and it never was.
When I looked for support to quit gaming I came across Cam, and I thought to myself, “this is it!” and it was one pathway to begin my 90 day detox.
The Benefits of Quitting Games
The benefits I have experienced from quitting gaming were that of paying more attention to my general health. I began working toward goalsto LIVE the life I want, and not PRETEND to live the life I would like.
I personally believe life isn’t about letting your heart, or feelings to take control. I’ve seen people argue “it’s my passion!” or “I love gaming why would I want to quit?” the former tends to lean more towards being addicted.
If you like something you can earn the same amount of happiness in moderation. When you need to increase beyond that moderation, you have a problem. I have a problem, and I’m taking care of it in a way where it benefits me, not the other way around.
If you’re addicted to video games, what should you do? QUIT. It’s most likely pushing you in the direction you would not wish to be in.
“For the first time in my life I feel as if I have purpose, and I am not alone in the world.”
I hit 90 days of no video games. This marked a period of 3 months into my self development that kicked off around November 2016.
It’s been one bumpy ride, but it’s also been the most significant portion of my life as a person. Why quit gaming for 90 days, though? Why turn my life in a completely new direction?
As a kid I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mum was the one who worked. I didn’t spend much time with her, but she was a good person. Instead I was treated to hanging around with my dad who was a complete loser. I don’t think he is a bad person, but he wasn’t able to be a father. This had a severe impact on me psychologically.
I would take to the world of fantasy and imagination; a place where I could feel emotion in a safe controlled manner; where I could be happy, or do anything without anyone interfering. At school I was always a bit of a pussy. I had no problem making friends, but soon things changed.
Secondary School
I was filtered out into the nerdy group, of course. This is when my video game addiction started to bud. I started getting into all sorts of games. I would spend the majority of my free time just sitting around playing them. I have always been a dreamer. I had hobbies, but I was too weak to take responsibility, so I let them fade away.
This is also about the time that my brother died. I coped with it by convincing myself that I didn’t care. I had mastered hiding my emotions from others and suppressing any affection. My dad sorted that out for me.
My early teens are just a blur. I started getting into heavier music around that time to help me feel stronger. I also got heavily into porn which also fucked me up. All I was really excited about was going from game to game. I thought about girls, sure, but I was too afraid to talk to them. I had a fear of the world, and I would retreat to my shell at any given moment.
At 16 years of age it all kicked off with me watching this video on YouTube about how porn is bad for you on some conservative channel. I immediately started looking into it, and decided to quit. This led me down a rabbit hole, and soon video games was the next target.
I remember sitting at my computer desk, and staring at the wall completely dumbstruck. Was I really destroying myself all these years? I then found Game Quitters, and the journey began.
I started picking up the pieces of the bombshell. I erased my entire Steam library, dumped all my pc gamer mags, and removed anything to do with games from my PC. I also deleted all my porn.
The first couple of months were the hardest. I had never been so depressed in my life. But I kept at it no matter what. I started climbing, doing art more, reading, learning German, and writing down notes for a book.
Getting My Shit Together
Things got better though. I had grown so much as a person. My view of life had completely changed. I was beginning to understand things that I never bothered to look at earlier on.
One day I looked in the mirror and thought: “you’re becoming a man now.” I started getting into fitness a lot more. I meditated a lot too. I also started getting into other types of music. At the age of 17, after casting off a lot of my childhood ignorance, I had learned a lot.
What I’ve Learned So Far:
Always stay grounded. Life is full of ups and downs. You must never be caught up by emotions in victory, or defeat, and maintain the path of reason. The universe is chaotic in nature.
The purpose of life is to feel a sense of purpose. If you were to try and rationalize a purpose to life you would become engulfed by nihilism. Humans are emotional beings, and our emotional needs must be met as these reinforce our will to live.
Pick something and do it. Ever started a new hobby and just given up because you weren’t enjoying it anymore? I had that all the time, but then I found out I just had to pick something and do the thing.
Do the thing. This is my motto now. Forcing yourself to do something consistently is important – even if you don’t feel like it. It’s important to commit to something on a daily basis, or you will sink into bad habits.
The body, mind and soul are all real things and they are all linked. At first I thought this was some retarded spiritual hippy meme, but it’s actually real. The soul is the body of emotion and it’s what separates us from machines. Your soul can lead you all sorts of dumb places though; and so can your mind. So the two have to really work together, and you have to listen to your innermost desire, but fend off petty desires.
Pushing yourself physically also makes you more determined. It is important to take care of your body by eating healthy and getting exercise so you wont feel depressed and have poor cognitive functions. Bioenergetics and meditation are great too. The mind is a muscle and meditation trains it.
Life is a video game, and it’s really, really fun. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on video games. But the reality is I am missing tons, and tons of shit in the real world. The ultimate question is – do you value the world of reality… or virtual reality to the same extent?
Take opportunities to do shit whenever you can. If it turns out bad then you know. Can’t bash it ’till you try it.
A man spends his whole life learning. I haven’t magically become my dream self yet. In fact, the dream self is a false ideal. When you climb a mountain do you stare at the summit, and flop your arms and legs about aimlessly? No. You get your head down, and fucking climb. It’s important to have vision, but it’s more important to focus on the struggle.
Your ego is an important social tool, but don’t let it consume you! You have to be open, and serious with people to reach a deeper level of understanding with them.
My path is my own, and is no greater than the next man’s. As I said before: the purpose of life is to feel a sense of purpose. So my way of doing things is just my way of doing things, and I shouldn’t force that on other people.
I am a lot more accepting of other people’s beliefs now, but I can’t help but let my ego take hold sometimes. Just because I am saying shit here about how I do things doesn’t make it the handbook to life. Everyone has to find their own way. There is a Chinese proverb:
What I hear; I forget. What I see; I remember. What I do; I understand.
Even though I have said these are all lessons I have learned; I still need to improve myself massively, and that is a good thing. What is bad is not having the vision.
I never thought I was really an addict. I was able to slide into my detox without any cravings. Video games were just the stabilizers I persisted to keep on me. They were part of my childhood chapter in life. It’s time to turn a new page though.
Game Quitters has changed my life, and still is. I met extraordinary people. For the first time in my life I feel as if I have purpose, and I am not alone in the world. Some people on this site are like the uncle I never had. I am truly grateful to be exposed to such a community at such a young age. It has really bolstered my development to be immersed in an environment populated by so many awesome people.
A while ago I committed to the 1,000 days challenge with a small group of fellow Game Quitters. That’s almost 3 years of changing my life. I will be 19 when I finish. If you are a young gamer, and you are unhappy with your life (or know one), please do not hesitate to join us here on the forums.
For over 5 years I lived with a gaming addict. This is my personal story.
When I met Joe (not his real name) he seemed like a good guy. He was caring and funny. We would do things together. But each night he would sit in front of his computer. I didn’t realize at that point how his addiction controlled his life.
Weeks passed, then months, and I saw how much the computer and his virtual life meant to him. He felt like his friends online were his real friends. He knew things about them, and felt connected to them. It drew him in every evening.
I would hear him yelling at the computer. He would be getting mad because his virtual friends didn’t like his gaming style, or he got the group killed.
World of Warcraft (WoW) was his first game of choice. He played it each day as he needed to keep up his numbers. It kept him coming back over the years. The new extensions had him talking about them every day.
He Wanted Us to Game Together
Well that wasn’t the case. He got bored because I wasn’t at his level. I on the other hand, couldn’t sit in one spot for 10 hours a day. Joe would sit a lot longer than that. He had his step dad start the game, and then his mom. So now there were two others who played. At dinners with his family they would just talk about gaming.
His gaming progressed to Rift, and League of Legends (LOL). I am sure there are more games he played, but I stopped trying to keep track. Joe even watched live streams of a couple who played games. The games just never ended.
One night I asked Joe if we could set up a weekly date night. I had to pick a night he wasn’t in a WoW raid. That was tough. He would do a date night, but sometimes he would say I need to cut it short as the guys want me to join their raid.
I was always second to his computer and virtual friends.
I remember once just wanting to smash the computer with a baseball bat. I hated the fact I didn’t matter. My anger took several years to get to this point. I am a patient person, but even I was running out of patience.
Joe would sleep all day and be up all night. Things around the house were being ignored. I took care of everything. I was turning into a mom. I had to nag him to do anything.
It was like dating a kid. Even when we did do things the talk was always about gaming. I began to tune him out. It would seem like I was listening, but it was a lot of head nodding and not a lot of talking from me. When I did talk, he appeared to care, but couldn’t remember what I said.
Joe ate, breathed and slept gaming. 24/7 gaming was apart of his life.
Eventually I said it’s the computer or me.
He said, “I need to be in this raid… the guys really need me.” I knew then that this was much bigger than me. I couldn’t help Joe. We went to counseling twice. He wouldn’t go after the counselor said to him you have a great smart woman here who just wants to love you and spend time with you.
He Lived in a Virtual Life.
I began to live my own life. He was more like a roommate. Sex never happened. We never slept in our bed at the same time. He made me feel worthless and I felt helpless.
Once his mom said to me, “oh in a few years you will want him to go and game, to leave you alone.”
In my mind I said, “nope, not going to live a life like this.” I longed for him to just spend time with me and to love me. I couldn’t understand what was so wrong with me. Why he wouldn’t be with me even once a week for a date night.
I went to Alberta to see my sister in 2014 and it was the first time I was away from him. That is when I saw my sister and brother in law having a healthy loving relationship. I knew that things couldn’t continue this way anymore. I decided during that trip it was over.
In the months to come after the Alberta visit I decided to tell Joe. He wasn’t happy. He couldn’t believe I wanted more. After all what was wrong with gaming?
Gaming made me so angry, so hurt, so frustrated. I cared about Joe still. Did I love him? Not anymore. My love turned to resentment. I now actually had pity for him. I felt sad that he thought those people liked him that they were his friends that they cared. I felt sad he would settle for such an incomplete life.
I Am Now Married. Joe Lives with His Parents
He is still gaming. I knew I wanted more. I wanted to see life that is beyond a computer. To feel the sunshine on my face to feel the rain on my cheek. To get my hands dirty in the garden.
I married a guy who is present, who lives a life here in this world. Not a virtual life.
For those struggling with a partner who is gaming, my advice would be to look at what you want in life. What are the pros and cons of staying with your partner? Seek the support of a counselor.
In the end, you need to decide what you want for your life. What do you want from your relationship? What are you missing out on?
It’s a tough choice to move on. If you do, do it for you. It’s a personal choice to leave someone whom you care about. At what point do you begin to lose yourself? At what point are you no longer going to be second best? Those are all the things I thought about when I made the decision to leave Joe.
Life is so sweet when you are with the right person. Don’t settle.
“Thank god my parents always kept an eye on me. I don’t know what would have happened with me if they didn’t.”
My name is Dominik and I’m a 15 year old freshman high school student from the Czech Republic. I’m here to talk about my past addiction to video games and how I overcame it.
My story with video games starts in December 2005 when I received a Playstation 2 for Christmas. When I was younger I didn’t play games that much, but gradually year by year I played more and more, and it turned into an addiction.
The thing that I loved about gaming was how much fun you could have with your friends, and sharing your common interest in games. I also loved the sense of progress, and rewards.
My addiction wasn’t that bad early on, but that all changed when I had access to my first computer with internet. I suddenly had access to a lot of very addictive video games , and a greater community of gamers.
The game that got me into my addiction was League of Legends (LOL). I played all night long, and even denied that I did to my parents. Almost all my free time was spent on games, and I really didn’t do much to improve at anything else. I lived in Spain at the time, and went to school as any other kid.
I was lying to my family, didn’t try hard at school, put aside my friends (only hung out with the ones that played League of Legends), and I also became a little myopic (2.5 my left eye and 2.75 right eye) – all because of games.
On July 1st, 2016 I decided to quit. I couldn’t continue to go on like this. I was going to go to a very hard high school, and I realized that gaming made me a person that I didn’t want to be.
I decided to stop playing forever.
During this period I was trying to get my hands on every advice I could to learn how to stick to my decisions, and quit gaming forever. Naturally this led me to find great channels on YouTube like Game Quitters, and Brendon Burchard.
I didn’t relapse thanks to all the support that I got from everyone. I really owe a lot to everyone that helped me.
It has been 9 months since I played.
My life is great! Here is a list of things that have improved since I quit gaming:
I became healthier (exercised more and ate healthy)
My grades improved in school
I improved my relationships with other people
I started chasing my dreams
I improved my physique
I learned programming
… and a whole lot more.
Before/After
I’d like to say that it all starts with yourself. Nothing is going to change without you being willing to put in the effort. Work hard and enjoy life, the struggle is worth it. You will become who you want to be, I can guarantee you that.
“I always had plans, and thought I would do them later. But years later the single biggest activity I had done was play games.”
Your latest post with the 17 year old going traveling is a great example of why not to spend too much time gaming. For me, it is interesting that he took up photography. Photography is a creative discipline, and from my experience creativity is the main area that suffers from playing games.Written by a member of the Game Quitters community:
I am a designer and am lucky enough to be pretty successful. If travel is any mark of success; I have lived and worked in a few countries, Japan, UK, and Turkey. I’ve done projects all over, from Africa and China to the US.
My Gaming Has Always Been Pretty Secretive
It’s not good for my image as a designer, and I know it’s a waste of time. Despite this I have managed to sink hours into gaming, culminating in a couple of years in an MMO. I stopped playing that about 4 years ago.
Luckily for me I have always been pretty ambitious which has kept me in work, subsequently having work deadlines in a highly competitive field has kept my gaming in check. But there are two areas affected by gaming that aren’t often mentioned that I want to share with you:
Network
Every job I have ever had has been through someone I know, or a recommendation of someone I know. Creative work is all about trust, companies put a lot of money into a job usually with short deadlines, and part of the future of their business rides on the success of your work.
They will hire someone with a personal recommendation every time. Social media sites do not count. Networking isn’t anything special, it’s just a fancy word for friends.
Creativity
Computers kill creativity, and gaming most of all. Any time spent staring at a screen, even if it is a ‘creative’ program like Photoshop, is time not thinking for yourself. At best, you are just thinking within the confines of the software.
With gaming I found this spills over, sometimes I would think about a game even when not playing, but more often it is a subtle effect. I wouldn’t think about a game, but equally I wouldn’t be thinking very creatively or have much motivation. It is very insidious, and I would only really notice when I had time away.
A week without using a computer, and my mind would start racing with ideas, not only that I would have the motivation to execute them. Just like when I was a kid. Gaming isn’t just about the time spent gaming, it impacts the rest of your time as well.
“We are what we repeatably do. Excellence then, is not a single act, but a habit” -Aristotle
I always had plans, and thought I would do them later. But years later the single biggest activity I had done was play games.
There are many things I would like to be in life, a gamer isn’t one of them. Quitting gaming changed my life.
“I believe that in any fellow game quitter lies a potential so great that nobody can summarize it. But we won’t be able to unfold our specialty as long as we waste away in a fluorescent light.”
So, the day has come. Day 90 of 90 days of a personal gaming detox. What do I have to say?
Well for starters, it has been a tough ride.
First of all, I want to show my gratitude to Cam, who created this site and ignited a spark in many fellows. In a time, where we are supposed to consume, where it is so easy and comfortable to just fade away in a virtual world, without leaving any proof of our existence, he showed me and many others, that the predetermined way is not the only option. So, thank you Cam.
You might know the story of the Pied Piper, who came to town and led away all the children with his stilling tune, leading them all into oblivion. Well, every story, even the ancient ones, have at least two points of view. While the people of the town witnessed the Piper pulling away the youth, they labeled him the evil in this world. But halt, there is more to this.
The view of the young people who have been pulled away is quite different. In a world where everything is focused on consumption, a soul needs a safe place to expand. The Piper, with no bad intentions, led away the youngsters and showed them a world that grants exactly what they needed. A space, large as necessary, to unfold.
Pretty dramatic, right? I know. But if you think about it; if you remember the reactions of your fellow internet folks, you will notice, that they smiled at you in contempt, when you left the world you once loved so much. What seems to be pure evil and idiocy to one, might be redemption to others.
When I googled “how to stop gaming” on that lonely night, I took my own life.
Figuratively. I pulled the plug on my life, because I knew, it will pull the plug on me. Before I quit gaming, I felt lost, exhausted, always tired, mildly happy, and heavily forsaken.
I grew up with a computer in my room, which turned into my best friend. Where real people were complicated, my computer would always be there to serve me. But in the long run, I began to serve it.
I miss the words to express my eternal gratitude for what Cam has done. Only by lighting up a path that I was unable to see, he saved me. And even if I return to playing all day and all night; even if I give up my chances, my life and my future, I would have to do it entirely conscious. Because now I know what was cloaked.
If I give up my life, this time, I know what I do. But as long as there is any energy left, I will try to go my own path. Not the predetermined path.
I feel prepared for this path.
The detox was highs and lows. It was enthusiasm and depression. I felt like conquering the world, and in the next moment I thought I was falling down a 50 stories building.
It is tough to not compare my old life to the matrix. Because it is so close to the matrix. Being connected to a device that pretends to show me choices and options, while it silently pre-programmed my decision. A waste of life. That is what I was. An entire waste of life.
We do not have to be Christians to understand that life is a one time thing. This makes it precious beyond words. Sitting in front of a screen, drooling, like a machine is a waste of this precious gift.
I believe that in any fellow game quitter lies a potential so great that nobody can summarize it. I believe, that we all are special, creative, smart, gifted. But we won’t be able to unfold our specialty as long as we waste away in a fluorescent light, that will make our eyes go blind and turn our skin into greasy dough.
Don’t get me wrong. I still continue to work in front of a screen. But today, steam, origin, bigfish… none of that really interests me. I feel disgust when I think about how I wasted years and did not commit myself to any goal, any progress or any measurable sign of life at all.
Life happens offline, away from the screen. I know that. I feel that. And now I feel able to fight my way through this harsh environment that is this society. Now I see chances and will not be stopped until I reached them. And even if I fail, I will not go back to benumbing my inner desires. My true desires.
Because let us be real for a moment: You do not desire to reach level 30 in a world that will disappear once a guy pulls the plug. You do not desire to be “somebody” in a virtual world, where everybody can be what he wants to be without any need of work. In a world, where being special is handed out to anybody, nobody is special. You will be anybody; anybody will be you.
There are no heroes in this world, no interesting people. There are no people in this world. Only souls that slowly dance to a tune nobody can hear anymore because everybody is numbed by the drug they all took in order to get into the dance hall.
Nobody desires to be numb all the time. That is like waiting for death without the annoying annoyance of waiting without purpose. I do not desire to be that person, and I believe, neither do you.
This place is not redemption city.
You know that. I know that. You don’t sign up and feel relieved of all your bad decisions. We know that. We sign up for the tough work. If this was a game, it would be a survival game. But you know, most survival games out there have one major thing in common: they do not have a goal. Your only goal is to survive.
Imagine this: When you signed up, you were this one guy or girl, brave enough to raise his or her hand when the old leader asked if somebody is willing to venture forth to find a place to settle and to recreate society.
You were the one human that said: “I am not satisfied with surviving day by day, only to wait for my demise. I will not dwell in this limbo until my soul perishes. I will head out and I will fight my way through this mess that you people are afraid of. I will conquer back what is truly mine and when I disappear, I will leave a legacy behind.”
That person, my friend, is you. You and me. We took this step. We spoke the truth. We honestly admitted that we are guilty of the highest sin: Wasting our life. And we decided to change.
The 90 day detox is the first step. Now you are prepared. You took all the classes, finished all the lessons, and trust me, when you thought this is it, the real stuff only begins.
Be brave. Be great. Be honest. Be noble. Be conscious. Be you. You, my friend, have this under control. This is your life. Your choice. Your consequence. Even if you go out and fail once, twice, three times, everything is better than being numb and never trying. And rest assured, we are in this together!
“You will never be able to achieve anything truly great if you spend all of your time playing video games.”
I am 24 years old and a Sergeant in the US Army.
I’m the guy who thought it would be a good idea to go on patrols and try to find people to shoot at me, so that I can shoot back at them – kind of like Call of Duty in real life.
I did a tour in Iraq in 2015. The weather was hot, like boot melting hot (~125 degrees fahrenheit).
The people were nice for the most part, except for the crazy ones who would drive around vehicles filled with a thousand pounds of explosives.
But life hasn’t always been this way and for much of my life, I was a gamer.
I started by playing Neopets when I was in the 5th grade. Soon after, I found Runescape. I got to combat level 98 on top of my various trade skills which took hundreds, if not thousands of hours of playtime to achieve. Quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself.
Next up is… World of Warcraft. Ah yes, this is where I truly shined. Over the course of five years I racked up about 400 days of solid play time – about 10,000 hours total.
I was so dedicated that I really didn’t have much of a social life in high school as my friends all also played video games for the most part. Whenever we would hang out and have a sleepover, we would bring our gaming systems and play together.
Off to College
The first semester I actually focused on my classes some and finished with decent grades. But this meant that my gaming performance was sliding a little bit.
I learned from my mistake and devoted so much time to gaming my second semester that I just stopped going to two of my classes, leaving me with only two other classes to worry about.
I entered the euphoric gaming trance which normal people refer to as “depression”, and was so committed to gaming that I didn’t go to class for a week straight one time. I barely passed the two classes, but my gaming performance was top notch.
That’s pretty much where my gaming career ends – kinda abrupt, I know. After that second semester I realized that I was destroying my life and decided to join the Army.
I still play video games occasionally, but I find that I get bored with them after about a week or so, then I will read, or play guitar for about two months until I feel like playing a few games again, and the cycle has just been repeating.
I’m not exactly sure what happened. Maybe it was just a mix of my poor academic performance in college, and being away from everything for 14 weeks when I was at basic training… but I just changed.
Maybe I Just Grew out of It
Now, I don’t even really have time for video games and, honestly, I don’t even notice. I am currently involved in three business ventures on top of my long days in the Army.
Whenever I do have free time that could be spent gaming, I would much rather read books on leadership and personal development. Basically I have stopped spending all of my free time on video games and have been investing that time in my future. It feels great!
I am nearing the end of my five-year commitment with the Army and am looking forward to going back to NC State University.
Instead of looking forward to all of the free time I will have to play games, I am actually excited to go back to learn and meet new people. I haven’t completely stopped playing video games, but it probably averages out to about one hour per week, if that.
I’m sure many of you at some point have wished you could get all of the hours you have spent gaming back, and use them for something else. I know I have.
You Have the Power to Change Yourself
There is no Universal Law that says that you have to be the same person you were yesterday. You can continue down the path you are on and live a life full of regret and mediocrity, or you can decide to pursue your dreams that you have pushed to the side in order to make room for gaming.
You have the power make something of yourself and change the world around you, but you will never be able to achieve anything truly great if you spend all of your time on games. The choice is yours. No one else can make it for you.
After her experience with Adam, his mother, Melanie, started an organization called Families Managing Media to help other parents understand how to successfully navigate the role technology and gaming play in the lives of their children.
“How would I personally describe the 90 day detox? You come back to be yourself.” – tirEdOrange
The world seems crazy around you as soon as you realize how much you numbed yourself with games.
We are all so much more than we realize and as long as we numb our consciousness with gaming we only paralyze ourselves to the point where we become desperate and don’t know what to do.
There are no words to describe the value that the 90 day detox provides.
From completing the 90 day detox, here are 5 tips that will help you successfully complete yours:
1. Make a Journal.
You probably won’t believe it at first but this is some miracle stuff right here. Writing a journal on the Game Quitters Forum is something that will change you, not because people here are telling you how to live your life the right way (which they don’t do).
It is because you learn how to talk to yourself. How to listen to yourself. You start to get in touch with yourself and this is a very, if not the most, important lesson to learn during your journey.
“Making this daily journal has had a huge impact. It’s become an accountability habit.” – ors_tyrael
2. Follow the steps of Respawn.
Your first few days will potentially be filled with all kinds of physical and psychological issues and cravings, but it probably sounds worse than it is. It is a crazy time in the beginning, and you should acknowledge yourself for every day that you successfully complete.
The steps outlined in Respawn will help you during these initial challenges, as they show you how to handle all these crazy experiences and emotions, and help you understand how to endure them without simply giving up.
3. You will grow during the process.
This whole 90 day detox felt so overwhelmingly undoable at some points, so don’t give up if you feel like you can’t do it. I can assure you: You can!
If you need support, then seek it on the forum, because you will get it. It is simply great that this forum helps a lot. Tasks that seemed very hard in the beginning will become easy in the end, and you will grow stronger in so many ways that you will be able to handle a lot of different situations.
4. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
I’m very good at being too hard on myself… of expecting perfect results from myself, or seeing them as a failure if I do not achieve them. This is the reason why I had some of my problems: because in the end, a goal that has no potential for failure is a road that has no potential for victory.
The experiences that you earn during your journey are the most important thing, so if you make mistakes from time to time, don’t worry, just get back on track as soon as possible, and keep going!
5. It is never too late.
You know that feeling when you’ve taken a moment for yourself in the past and realized that you’ve lost a couple of years to this gaming addiction of yours… that you didn’t even really realize it until recently?
I felt very insecure about the fact that I simply lost so many years during my addiction, and if I’m honest then I am still a little bit insecure about it at the moment because it still affects my life right now but… you will learn during the detox that there is no reason to be insecure about it.
The “ideal way that everyone should go” is just an illusion. There is no time limit that tells you that you can’t start your life again right now. You can start it again anytime.
This is the core of my experiences during my 90 day detox. It opened my eyes and helped me to quit what destroyed me. Gaming was something that distracted me from my life, but the detox did more than just help me quit playing video games: it helped me to let go of everything that pulled me down these past few years.
I still have to deal with the consequences from all this, but hell, I’m so happy right now that I could cry tears. Go and enjoy your new life and all the things around you! 🙂
This post originally appeared on the Game Quitters Forum. Minor edits for grammar.
“Instead of completing an assignment over the weekend, I spent 32 hours straight finishing Dark Souls 1.”
It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly my gaming experience began. The earliest memory I have is when I was 5 years old, roughly 16 years ago. My dad introduced me to the classic games of the Sega Genesis and Nintendo 64.
As I grew up I became more interested in gaming. I had a cousin who was a year older than me, and we always lived close to each other.
So back in the days when online gaming didn’t exist, it was easy for us to walk to the other’s home, stick on whatever co-op game we felt like (usually Baldur’s Gate, Dynasty Warriors or Star Wars Battlefront), and play for hours.
Online Gaming. Blessing or Curse?
It was almost a natural progression in secondary school. As online gaming was introduced through Xbox Live , it became the norm for every single person I knew to own an Xbox 360. Combine this with Call of Duty and FIFA, and it’s a recipe for disaster. I think I racked up over 100 days playtime on Call of Duty 4, 5, and 6 combined!
I was always an active kid, involved in sports, music, scouting, and spent a lot of time outside. But as I got older, I started spending more of my time upstairs in front of a screen. My daily routine was usually along the lines of waking up, going to school, come home and meet everyone online, eat dinner, and then go back online to play away the rest of the evening.
Go to university… Get a job… Live a happy life… Or so they say.
Like everyone else, however, I never really viewed it as a problem. It was what everyone did. I managed to stay on top of my studies, doing decently well at school and college. It wasn’t until I went on to study Physics at university that I noticed a problem.
I Hated University.
Not a real picture of Jimmy.
Let me clarify, I loved the people, the social aspect and the freedom. But I hated the work. Every single assignment (and I mean every single one) was completed the night before the due date.
It got pretty bad in my first year. So bad in fact, that instead of completing an assignment over the weekend, I spent 32 hours straight finishing Dark Souls 1.
I didn’t eat during this time. I stayed in my dark room, which luckily had an en-suite, and I only got up to get water or go to the bathroom. But hey, I completed it! That’s what I get for taking my gaming PC to university.
The second year of university I ditched the PC, left it at home, and bought an Xbox One. Why was it so impossible for me to be without a console? People don’t get addicted to video games, do they?
It wasn’t until my final year that things really took a turn for the worse.
After failing a couple of my exams for the first time in years, and not being able to find the energy to even get out of bed in the morning, a friend of mine thought that it would be a good idea to seek professional help.
Depressed? Me? That’s Not Right..?
The verdict? Moderately severe depression.
Wait, what? I’m not depressed. I’m just miserable. I’m not depressed, I just procrastinate a lot. I couldn’t get my head around it, and yet, something seemed to resonate. I started thinking back to secondary school, and the thoughts I used to have. I never thought anything of it at the time, but looking back it all makes sense.
As you can probably imagine, from this point onwards things started spiraling rapidly. My grades suffered, I stopped turning up to lectures, and I’d spend hours every day playing FIFA on my Xbox. I became detached from my friends, staying put in my room until I was forced to get out of bed. I hated everything.
Come on, It’s Just One Dissertation..?
It got to the point where I couldn’t even write my dissertation. I managed to get an extension to give me a couple of months to work on it and prepare myself for the upcoming exams. I only had to do two of them, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t do it. I hated it. I’d forced myself into believing that nothing would ever work, regardless of how hard I tried. Goodbye, job opportunities.
However, after dropping out of university 2 months from finishing, something strange happened. My outlook on life changed completely. I’m not saying I miraculously cured my depression and was a bouncing bundle of energy. But something was different.
A Light in the Dark?
I’d been passionate about entrepreneurship since the start of my second year of university. I loved the idea of personal development and self-help, and planned to start my own business after I finished my studies.
It wasn’t until a prolific online mentor that I followed, Stefan James Pylarinos, released a course on how to become an affiliate marketer online, that I decided to make a change.
I’d never really done anything that spontaneously, so dropping £1200 (which was basically all of my money) on a course was really out of my comfort zone. But something about it felt right.
It was also around this time that I was recommended a Game Quitters video on YouTube. Holy s***. Why didn’t I find out about this years ago?
Naturally, I did what any normal person would do and binge watched a bunch of Cam’s videos. Shortly after, I made the decision to quit gaming. Bearing in mind I’d just discovered Skyrim mods, Dark Souls 3 and Overwatch. It was probably one of the most difficult times for me to quit.
But I was committed. I introduced myself on the forums, started a journal, and carried out the 90-day detox.
Pain Is Temporary.
These 90 days had a much more profound effect on my life than I could ever imagine.
It’s almost indescribable. During these 3 months, I’ve created two businesses, ran a half marathon, became involved with photography, started killing it with my workout habits in the gym, cleaned up my diet, and I’ve got so much more energy than I ever had before.
It wasn’t easy. There were some dark times during the detox. The cravings became so bad at some points that I had to force myself to not even look at the computer. I’d get out the house and just walk. As long as I could. But it was all worth it.
If any of you are interested about my personal outdoor business you can find it here. If you’re a student and you’re interested in contributing to my non-profit student education site, or even just to get some advice and support, you can find that here. The sites are still pretty young, but I’ve got some big visions for the future!
A Final Thanks to the People That Saved My Life.
Finally, I just want to give a huge thanks to Cam and the Game Quitters community. You guys got me through it, and were so supportive at every step of the journey, I really don’t know how I can ever thank you. But I’ll find a way!
If anyone is reading this and you’re on the fence about quitting, or you’re struggling to make it through your detox. I really recommend you to become more involved in the community. Interact with people and make friends. Keep yourself on top of your journal, and I swear the time will fly by. You’ve got this.
“I didn’t have a job, and I wasn’t looking. When my girlfriend would leave the house for work, I would boot up my computer and open a bottle.”
When I was 6 years old my family got a PC and I started playing games like SkiFree, Keen, GTA, and Lemmings.
As a restless child who was constantly battling boredom, video games provided me with the stimulation I desired. They were simply more fun than any other activity, and it was exciting to be in control! I felt like the master of my small computer generated universe – it gave me a sense of power which I lacked in my real life.
I Kept Gaming Every Chance I Got.
I made friends in school and my parents made me join a few hobbies. But I knew what I wanted to be doing; I wanted to be playing games.
My humble beginnings transformed into a serious problem when I got my own computer. I’m still not sure why my parents thought that was a good idea – I’m pretty sure they saw what a little addict I was. But alas, I got a refurbished PC in my own room around the age of 13, and ever since then it was game over.
I spent all my free time behind that monitor, gaming or internet browsing until early morning on school nights. Self control and awareness weren’t in my agenda. The games I played evolved as well. I picked up big titles from Blizzard like WC3 and WoW, and a whole slew of Steam games to boot.
Online Gaming Became My Go-To.
It gave me a sense of connection and community. I sorely needed some kind of human contact, and these games provided me with just enough pseudo-connection to keep me pacified.
I’m not proud of it, but I gamed my college experience away too. My dorm mates were all gamers, so it was easy to continue my compulsive computer use. Hardcore gaming hurt my grades, destroyed my sleep schedule, and stunted my personal development.
I didn’t outgrow my shyness, in fact, it got worse. And I hadn’t even hit rock bottom yet. Around 2011 I found my raison d’etre: drunk Dota2.
Let me preface this with a little bit about myself. I have an addictive personality and alcoholism runs in my family. The combination of booze and a Skinner-Box MOBA game created an unholy blissful paradise.
Just One More Game… Just One More Drink…
Amidst the hangovers and sleepless nights, I somehow graduated college. I moved into a small apartment with my then girlfriend, and proceeded to bloom into a full blown alcoholic and Dota2 addict.
I didn’t have a job, and I wasn’t looking. When my girlfriend would leave the house for work, I would boot up my computer and open a bottle.
At this point I knew I had a problem, but I didn’t care. I resigned my fate to a rollercoaster of drugs and video games. Full steam ahead! That is, until the morning that I threw up blood… “I guess I’m dying” I thought to myself, “Fuck”.
I want to tell you that this was the moment when I turned my life around 180 degrees. But how do you steer a life with 20 years of momentum behind it? Little by little.
I knew I needed help, but I was not ready to join an in-person support group. So I began lurking around reddit groups like /r/stopdrinking, /r/stopgaming, /r/nosurf.
Communities That Changed My Life.
I read stories, posted my own ramblings, and found solace in our shared struggle and pain. As I see it, these groups gave me a sense of belonging, and created meaning in my life.
Even with the best intentions, quitting an addiction is no easy feat. I relapsed over and over again. I would fall down, and I would get back up. I would delete Dota2 and pour my liquor down the drain, only to reinstall and buy more in a matter of days. But the intention to quit was there, I had a burning desire to overcome my addictions.
After a year of relapses and failed promises, I decided that enough was enough.
I had proven to myself that I couldn’t keep my convictions. Something had to change. And that something was my environment. As long as I had my gaming computer, I would game. This thought crystallized within my mind during yet another sleepless night where I played Dota2 until 6am.
I hated myself. I hated my life. Enough was enough.
I ripped the hard drive out of my PC, packed up my rig, and started driving to the dump. With tears in my eyes, I violently threw my tormentor into a dumpster. I would later regret not selling my PC instead, but at least my impulsively desperate act makes for a good story!
So that’s my past. I’m not proud of the way I spent my time, but it has created an unyielding fervor to better myself and help others who share my struggles.
Two Years Sober and Game Free!
Although life isn’t magically perfect now, I am proud of who I am and how I spend my time. Was quitting games worth it? YES, absolutely.
My journey has created a uniquely clearheaded perspective on the overuse of technology, and what it can do to your life. I feel passionately that our society is headed in the wrong direction, and that our device use has become a problem.
Specifically, young men are prone to video game addiction, and people of all ages are apt to overuse social media and smartphones. Our devices are tools. They are useful. But when mindlessly overused they can greatly damage the quality of our lives.
I have thus created an online presence, MindfulFinn, to promote the mindful use of technology. You can follow my journey on YouTube and Instagram.
Thanks Cam and Game Quitters for spreading awareness about video game addiction. We’re all in this together.
“Because no matter how much I game, the void was never filled, I was never happy. In fact, I became more miserable than ever.”
I can vividly remember sitting in front of my triple-monitor setup, contemplating my whole life at the end of summer break, wondering why am I still miserable while having the coolest video games, the most advanced gaming equipment and the “cool” identity of being a gamer?
Ever since I started gaming (7 years old), I noticed something within myself. A sense of dissatisfaction, a hole that needed to be filled.
But as a kid, I didn’t really have many ideas about how to go about filling up this sense of void… So I did the only thing I could: play more video games! Well, everyone else is doing it, and they all seemed to be happy and joyous, also it can’t possibly lead me down the wrong track in life, right??
As I was attempting to fill up the hole with more gaming, my constructed identity: “Gamer” grew bigger and bigger.
It got to a point where I stopped seeing myself as a good student so I neglected school work. I stopped seeing myself as a social person so I neglected my social life. I stopped seeing myself as a nice and caring son so I neglected family.
Most importantly, I stopped seeing my authentic self.
All those things added up into a lifestyle of “living for gaming’s sake.” One of my favorite activities was to come back home on Friday night, neglecting all my homework and assignments, and hop onto my PlayStation and play Battlefield Hardline with my buddy Andy.
Sure, the lower part of myself was very excited by all the stimulation provided by gaming, but my higher self sensed something was else. It acknowledged that perhaps something isn’t really working… Because no matter how much I game, the void was never filled, I was never happy. In fact, I became more miserable than ever.
Not only was the void not filled, but also my confidence eroded, my higher values squandered, my passions and the love for my life waned. But the lower self is still too unconscious and close-minded, so I continued to buy more games, pursue better rankings, wishing that someday the void will be finally filled…
My Turning Point:
This story happened back in mid 2015, the two-week summer break. I spent the entire holiday gaming 6-8 hours a day and lived life as a legitimate “gamer.”
I drank soda, ate a lot of junk food, didn’t come out of my bedroom for dinner, and didn’t attempt to attend any social events. The process was very stimulating and exciting in the first week, but as that enthusiasm wore off, a scary truth started to uncover itself…
The truth that no matter how hard I try, there is no way out, and gaming will never bring me fulfillment and happiness and the ultimate satisfaction that I was lusting after this entire time.
It got to a point where all I did was continuing going through the motions of gaming without really enjoying any of it, because my mind was controlled by video games like a puppeteer, and me myself, the puppet.
I remember sitting in front of the glowing screens, viewing my life objectively with brutal honesty for the first time.
I asked myself: “Is this all there is? Is this what my authentic self wants to be like? Is there another way? Am I diluting myself?”
I was tired of all this non-sense, tired of being controlled by this puppet master since I was a kid, tired of not finding something that truly fulfills me, tired of being shy and having low self-esteem, tired of not having a passion to follow and most importantly, tired of living this identity of a “gamer”.
Right on the spot, I made a bold decision: I’m going to quit playing video games.
Instantly, a new horizon opened up for me as I made the decision. I saw a more passionate, a more loving, a more confident, a more self-actualized human being waiting for me on the other side of the barrier.
Interestingly enough, the day after I decided to quit, my friend Mark asked me if I wanted to sell my PlayStation 4. My original intention was to keep my PlayStation and to game in moderation, but my intuition told me that selling the console is probably the best decision there is.
So that’s exactly what I did: I packed everything up and sold that pile of equipment which symbolized misery, dissatisfaction, hopelessness, low self-esteem and most importantly: my identity as a gamer…
How My Life Changed:
Sure, the withdrawals were tough. But my cold turkey approach and the compelling vision I created pulled me through the entire 90 day detox. Also Cam’s videos helped me out a great bunch, too. (Thanks, Cam.)
After the 90 days, I felt like a radically different person.
I started defining my authentic values, I became really passionate about my education and transformed myself into a top-performing student; I became so much more confident and social, and I found my passion for practical psychology and started my podcast.
Most importantly, I finally experienced the bliss from living my life to the fullest. Today my commitment is to a life-long study of personal development, and to live the most extraordinary life possible.
What is your commitment? What do you want out of life? Share your answer in the comments:
I didn’t see a problem with it, since I was telling myself I got nothing better to do and I deserved it.
The end of exams was a critical time last year. I worked for my grades, and I ached for some time off, for a reward. I had no real plans for summer – a big mistake – only general directions, and I found myself with a lot of spare time.
Overwatch Came Out.
So I started playing, and had a blast for a couple weeks. Everyone was new, I had time and no obligations, things couldn’t be better.
I went to the gym, read a little, hung out with my friends, and played Overwatch for a couple hours every day throughout June.
I wasn’t structuring my time, and slipped into a routine where I went to bed at four in the morning after grinding a couple levels each day. I also stopped meditating, since the first thing I did after waking up was turning on the computer. Mistake!
Shit Hit the Fan.
At the beginning of July I went back home to Slovakia. Since I was living with my mom, I didn’t have to shop for myself; didn’t have to do the dishes as often, or wash my clothes.
The environment was not constructive to growth, and I’m not saying that as an excuse but as an observation, since the environment is a huge variable when it comes to success or relapse.
With a more relaxed state of affairs and “no library” where I could go to learn, I started playing a lot. It was warm outside so I hung out with my friends, and then went home and played, as it gave me a sense of progress, which replaced the progress I got from the gym and my studies.
I felt like a child. I felt powerless and demotivated from the lack of exciting things to do in the summer. I didn’t allow myself to feel those emotions. Instead, I escaped from them by playing video games.
The worst thing was, it wasn’t even very rewarding anymore.
I was in a negative spiral where playing games sapped my motivation to do anything else, and since I didn’t do anything else, I played games, which sapped even more, and around the circle we go.
This is a scary and frustrating situation to be in, and I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I felt stuck and powerless in the cycle.
Thankfully, I Had a Couple of Things Help Me.
One thing was my love for cycling, which I do every summer, since it’s the only time I can really go for long bike rides. Every time I went on a bike ride I felt great and alive, and it helped to wean my brain off the dopamine rewards a little bit.
Slovakia has a lot of cool places accessible by bike, and thankfully I also had friends to go with me, so we could go on longer trips.
Another thing I had going for me was a former classmate I was attracted to. She was very responsive to my advances and we quickly went out for a couple of dates. This forced me to step up my game and take care of myself.
Also, being out on a date means not being in front of a screen. If could go back in time, I’d ask her out sooner, but it’s easy to say that in hindsight haha.
As August came, I grew progressively more fed up with my relapse and really started my crawl back.
I decided to start a programming project, so that I had something to look back to at the end of the summer, as well as something to work towards. This project, my friends, my bike, and this girl were what ultimately helped me break the spell of games, because I was biking in the morning, coding around midday, and out with someone in the afternoon.
The project was a great idea because I was learning, I had goals to work towards, and I was rewarded with increased mastery and working code.
At the end of it, I was ready to quit again, determined to make this year the best I’ve ever had. So I left for uni once again, met a lot of new people, uninstalled games and started meditating and reading again.
As things are right now, I’m not 100% game-free, but I’m learning daily, and I feel much more capable than I did a month ago. I also don’t have as much free time to play, which definitely helps.
My Advice To You
If I had to choose a few things to highlight, I’d say it’s really important to be in the right environment. This can be hard to change, but I think it’s something to be aware of and work towards improving.
Another thing is the importance of structuring your time. When you have nothing better to do, it’s easy to start playing, and it can be a downward spiral which can feel impossible to break.
Finally, it’s easier to prevent than to cure. It’s easy to fight your urges to play when you’re on a bike two hours from your computer. It’s also easy to not think about games when you’re out with someone that you like and that likes you.
Those three factors – different environment, structuring my time and having a blast with people I like – helped me stop the relapse.
Hopefully this post helps you to make some changes in your life.
Good luck, and thanks for reading 🙂
This post originally appeared on the Game Quitters Forum. It has been edited slightly for grammar and formatting.
“I kept playing for months, often for whole afternoons, until my son was born.”
Video games have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
As a kid I would play PC games, Playstation and Gameboy with friends, and often fantasize about the day my parents would let me have one of my own. That day didn’t come until I had finished high school.
I played games throughout university, but infrequently. When I started working full time I began spending many weekends playing video games to relax. It probably had the opposite effect, but that didn’t stop me racking up hundreds and hundreds of hours of play.
I got married early, at 23, which is a bit crazy, but we both knew we had found the one. It’s been hard work, and we are very happy.
When we got pregnant with our first child, my wife would often be asleep before I got home from work. She experienced intense fatigue during early pregnancy, and I didn’t know what to do with myself so I started gaming heavily, up to 4 hours per night.
My Son Was Born
When our boy came along, I didn’t have as much time to play games and I felt frustrated. At the time, I didn’t realize how absurd my frustration was. Here were my beautiful wife and son, and I wanted to play games all the time.
In reality, the stresses of fatherhood were affecting me in ways I didn’t understand. The comforting immersion of video games gave me an escape. People close to me noticed my frustration, and how much I was playing. Someone suggested that I quit games and it was the last thing on my mind.
I was so attached – perhaps addicted – to games that I thought something terrible might happen if I gave them up. Nevertheless, in November last year I decided to give it a shot. I relapsed in February, but have been completely game-free since then.
What Happened When I Quit:
Nothing bad. In fact, my life has expanded in ways I never expected and I’ve been doing things I’ve neglected for years.
I don’t mean to show off in any way, but in the hope that it encourages you to try quitting games, here are a few things I’ve managed to achieve since I made the decision.
Started reading fiction. Before I quit games, I hadn’t read a novel since high school (~8 years). I read Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky) and am now a few hundred pages into War and Peace (Tolstoy). The latter is 1400 pages long and I have no plans to stop. It’s fantastic.
Read a bunch of non-fiction books. I read Deep Work by Cal Newport, The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss, and the audiobook for Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. All highly recommended.
Started a 9-week running program (Couch to 5km) with the goal of running 5km (3x per week) by mid-October. I am up to week 5.
Traveled interstate for a holiday (I live in Australia) and booked another trip to the USA and Asia.
Became an early riser, starting each day at 5:30. I read, meditate and sometimes watch TV series like Chef’s Table before my family wakes up.
Quit a full-time job I didn’t like, and got a new part-time job at a digital marketing agency.
Started freelancing and building a new business (work-in-progress!).
Set up my first consulting contract with a business.
Completed a short course in Ancient Greek at an Australian university.
Started writing regularly (evidenced by this article!).
Started a web development course on Udemy, learning the fundamentals of HTML, CSS and JavaScript (so far!).
Tutored my sister-in-law in English and creative writing to help her with high school exams.
Signed up as a career development mentor (volunteer) at a catering/hospitality college in Sydney.
Started meditating for 10 minutes per day in the mornings (using the Headspace app).
I’ve left the most powerful benefit for last.
It’s a bit tricky to quantify, but I have found myself spending more time with my wife and son than ever. I can’t get enough of them. I’ve felt more present at family events and in social situations (which I previously disliked and found awkward).
I never thought I’d get a kick out of eating fresh mandarins from the tree in the backyard with my son, but yesterday we did, and it was terrific.
It’s difficult to know whether I would have done any of these things while still gaming. Nevertheless, it is quite clear to me that none of these things would have been as much fun if I were gaming regularly.
My decision to quit gaming has had surprising benefits. It hasn’t solved all of my problems or made life magically frictionless. Nevertheless I’ve achieved more (and enjoyed more) in 6 months than I have in years.
Quitting gaming may not work for everyone, but I’ve found it tremendously helpful. Give it a try. I’d love to hear how it goes!
If you like Jared’s story, than you’ll definitely like Respawn.
Jared Yee is a freelance writer and marketer based in Sydney, Australia. He quit games in 2016 a few months after his first child was born, and hasn’t looked back since. Outside of work, Jared enjoys reading, running, meditation, and above all spending time with family.
“I seriously didn’t think it was possible to be addicted to video games.”
Matt began gaming in 1989 and gamed consistently until he left university with a Sociology degree, having initially studied architecture.
A vicious cycle of depression and addiction to games such as Warcraft 3 and Halo 2 caused the end of Matt’s relationship with his girlfriend at the time. Gaming was not only taking all his time, but also his attention.
He would sometimes not even answer her phone calls in order to continue playing games. They seldom went anywhere together.
Real Life Got In The Way of Gaming
After leaving university and beginning a career as a counseller for autistic children, he found a much healthier balance with video games and even quit for a few years. This was partially due to just not having the time or money to game, or buy a laptop capable of gaming.
All that changed when an old friend bought him one as a gift, and this signaled his return to gaming heavily. The new laptop opened the doors once again to online gaming, which Matt always had more trouble controlling.
Switching jobs and being unemployed left Matt with a lot of time on his hands, and he ended up spending most of it playing Starcraft 2. The online competitive environment and reward systems made the game very addictive.
Preparing for grad school to study landscape architecture left Matt with a choice, how much more time was he going to waste gaming?
Matt had always been able to control gaming just enough to do okay in school throughout his life, but even in this “moderated” state gaming still took up almost all of his non-study time, leaving him with no time to pursue other more productive or healthy hobbies or activities.
Gaming Is a Full-Time Job
During his time being unemployed, and afterwards during semester breaks, Matt found himself playing Fallout for 40-60 hours a week. It became a full-time job, one that doesn’t pay very well.
Living with his old friend while studying at grad school had also made it more difficult to get away from games, because his group of friends expected him to join them.
To combat this, Matt tried an innovative tactic to moderate his gaming: giving his best friend’s girlfriend parental control over his gaming, and thereby limiting his time to 10 hours per week.
Although he had some success with this because of the embarrassment associated with asking his friend’s partner for more game time, and also being left out of friend’s activities due to being out of hours, it didn’t resolve the problem entirely.
Matt often found himself playing his 10 hours in just 2 days, and realised he still had a problem just like before; he began to seek out counselling and therapy as well as the StopGaming community on Reddit to help him quit.
After trying to moderate for the first few months after again recognising the negative impact gaming was having on his life , Matt finally decided to quit cold turkey. Like many others who have successfully quit he now sees it as a necessity to anybody who wants to kick the habit.
“Swallow your pride, ask for help and seek advice. Create a plan and execute it. If you “fail”, dust yourself off and keep trying.”
At first Matt faced problems with wasting time on the internet, particularly Reddit and Amazon Prime. He shared some tips for reducing lost internet time here.
I just found the Chrome extension Stay Focused. It is a time limiting extension that in my opinion is pretty well done. All you do is select a time allotment and add the websites that you think lead to procrastination etc. and it’ll block the websites after you reach your daily/weekly time limit.
As well as this, he recommends having a written to-do list, preferably that you can carry around with you, and to also reflect of the games of which you have had control issues with. By doing this, you can better understand why you were gaming, and also what hobbies you may pursue to replace video games.
For example, for those who have had issues with RPGs like Matt, you may like the sense of pride that comes from growing the number of days on your “game-free” badge on Reddit, or the measurable physical effects of working out.
For Matt, as well as keeping fit, his main hobbies since quitting have included going out more with his friends, making sure he studies well for his grad course, and gardening.
Although quitting gaming is just one step along the road to a better quality life, Matt does see himself as being more capable of facing new challenges now than ever before, and he feels a greater sense of control in his life.
Photoshop and CAD skills gained over the years have helped him to secure a summer internship that will help him to keep off of games over the break, and all of us at Game Quitters wish him the best for the future!
“The line that spoke to me the most was, “There are some people out there who are gaming, and they don’t want to be.” I knew that I was one of those people.”
Meet Joe. After 25 years of gaming he decided to make a change in his life. Like most of us who want to quit gaming, Joe faced challenges at first.
He had a fear of missing out once he decided to get rid of his games, he had fond memories of gaming in the past, and felt a sense of loss from the amount of time he’d invested in gaming over so many years.
Joe hid his recovery from those around him; it made him feel fake doing so, but he feared how others would react if they knew of his addiction. Admitting recovery meant admitting the problems he was facing to those he loved the most.
He Found a Support Community
Then Joe discovered Game Quitters and realized he wasn’t alone on this journey, and that there were many people like him with hopes and dreams of a life beyond gaming.
For Joe, a life beyond gaming meant being a better husband to his wife, and a better father to his newborn daughter. Through Game Quitters he developed the courage to discuss his addiction and recovery with those closest to him.
As the days and months have passed, he has felt less and less tempted to pick up games again. Communication with his wife is better than its ever been, his daughter is now a toddler and he is enjoying being there for her as she grows up.
Just imagine if Joe had continued gaming to this day? He chose a different path.
One Year Game Free
Now Joe has been game free for an entire year and we’re going to explore how he did it, and how you can follow in his footsteps.
One of the strengths Joe had is that he has been very clear on his reason for quitting games from day one, in his own words:
Having a great family is my biggest definition of success – The reason I quit is because I have a lot to lose. I have a wonderful wife and a baby daughter who I want to be fully engaged with.
I cannot have games as a part of my life because I cannot play in moderation. I want to be the father I always wish I had, and provide my daughter with the childhood I missed out on. My wife is such a wonderful and understanding person, and I would be a fool to let games ruin our relationship.
Answering the “why” question gave Joe the motivation necessary to persevere and quit games for good. Self awareness is critical for success in quitting games – recognizing the problem is the first step towards finding the solution.
Joe Is Happier Now
A key part of the Game Quitters community is that we all learn from one another, and Joe took this to heart from day one. Being open to suggestions from others helped Joe discover meditation. Joe highly recommends meditation for any fellow game quitters, and had this to say about the positive effects its had for him:
Meditation is worth the small amount of time it takes. Learning to be still for a while and carry a sense of mindfulness throughout the day makes me more capable, organized, and energetic.
Joe realized through being mindful that he didn’t need to feel guilty about the positive memories he had of some of his experiences gaming in the past.
Through letting go of his attachment to that stage of his life, Joe was able to feel more at peace with both accepting there were times he enjoyed games in the past, but that it’s now something that no longer serves him.
Happiness and entertainment are not the same
An important insight for Joe about the ‘positives’ of gaming is that “happiness and entertainment are not the same thing.” Gaming may provide entertainment, but it didn’t make Joe feel proud or happy about what he was doing in his life. All the hours Joe put into gaming over the years did nothing to make him feel fulfilled as a person.
Since quitting gaming, Joe has also engaged in self development. Joe admitted that at first he wasn’t a fan of self development books. He thought reading a self development book meant admitting he was a loser, but his mindset completely changed after reading “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.
He credits this book with the new approach he’s taken to building habits. A key aspect of this is focusing on enjoyment of the present moment and of the activity itself rather than relying on willpower alone to get him to keep his habits. Joe has never felt more empowered about his ability to change any part of his life.
“Learning to live in the present moment is my favorite benefit from quitting games.” Click to Tweet
Over the days and months since he quit gaming, Joe slowly began to open up about his old addiction. Communication to his wife about his addiction has allowed their relationship to improve, and allowed Joe to become the kind of husband and father he always wanted to be.
He Now Supports Others to Quit
Joe has now taken a leadership role within the Game Quitters Forum as a moderator, and being over one year game free, has gained a great sense of purpose and fulfillment from helping those who are still on their journey towards quitting games and recovering from their addiction.
Opening up about his experiences has given Joe a sense of freedom, as we’ve all been able to follow his journey and support him along the way. Just as the suggestions and guidance of others in the community were critical to Joe’s success, he is now paying it forward to others.
Finally, quitting games has allowed Joe to feel more at peace with himself and more satisfied in life, I’ll leave you with the following words:
I’ve learned that I should dream, and I should take little steps every day to achieve those grand dreams. Also, it’s vital for me to be able to enjoy the journey towards my dreams. In the end, it’s not really about whether or not I get to the finish line, but whether I found joy in the days, weeks, months, and years of experiences in pursuit of that dream.
If you think Joe’s story is inspiring, imagine how inspiring your own story will be too. If you’re ready to quit playing video games and turn your life around, grab Respawn.
Explaining why I gamed is hard to do without spilling some of my most personal details. But, I’ll do my best.
I now have a printed list of my goals and commitments, kept in a (fittingly) golden folder. It’s inviting to pick up and glance at multiple times a day, keeping me focused on what matters.
The video game industry continues to grow rapidly and has surpassed the music and film industries combined. 
